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About nontheistpilgrim

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    old, sometimes grumpy

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Not for me

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  1. SeaJay: you said "I'm worrying that, when I said back in July that I realised I never truly believed - what if I was just lying to myself?" This struck a chord with me, although I'm not one generally to regret past mistakes. Having been a preacher / minister / church worker for 40 years I suppose I have to find a way of coping with my strong non-theism. For those 40 years I believe I was right. Although I now 'know' I was wrong, it doesn't negate my ministry, I think. I believed, I did what I thought was good and for the good of others. The fact that I have rejected this belief makes no difference to the past - it's done, it's gone, it seemed right at the time, for me it was right at that time. I now concentrate of strengthening my non-belief...and I am still 'surpised by joy'. Hope it goes well for you. Keep thinking, keep working at it. Enjoy the journey.
  2. Hi and good to see you and hear your expiences. I also play the piano (though a lot less now due to age and fingers not working) and it helps a lot. I do quite enjoy playing worship songs but am not really aware of the words. I played piano/organ in church for some years after deconversion (the congregation new I no longer believed and welcomed me and the music) but I rarely thought about the words except to try to respond on behalf of the congregation, I didn't (what's the word?) accept them as my own. In the end I could no longer stomach listening to the rubbish spoken at the front and left completely. I don't attempt to debate the issues, it's a waste of time. But I feel sorry for my friends who are still caught up with their imaginary gods.
  3. I'm not sure it's worth it and why can't SouthernSound access it? I'm thinking they don't really care what we think, just trying to wind us up. I'll take a break until I see some effort to engage properly.
  4. You said you'd be interested; what did you think? (It does answer your first post, I think.) How do you relate to my being surprised by joy - I still remember the feeling well after 15 years.
  5. I didn't fall away, I got up and started a new pilgrimage. You do need to watch your language, SouthernSound, if you wish to engage in a meaningful way. Some of us have rejected terms that seem to label us within christian thinking and that to us are pejorative.
  6. It's there - dated 29th November 2019 Enjoy!
  7. SouthernSound: you asked about my past denomination? Independent for about 60 years.
  8. Just posting to say I'm not a Moderator. I visit every day and read things thoroughly. I was an evangelical Christian minister for many years until I was 'surprised by joy' when I realised it was all foolishness. My pet dislike is christians trying to convert me - 'been there, done that, got the T-shirt' - am happier now without it all. SouthernSound: I am following your posts with interest, waiting to see if you are like the rest who come here.
  9. A lot of this rings true for me. I have a friend ('mine in the Lord') with whom I had much more than a link in faith. We had a common interest in athletics; we had a common interest in girls (often the same ones!); we had a common interest in the countryside; we had a common interest in music (him singing with me on piano); he introduced me to my partner (now of over 60 years happiness); he was a key figure at our wedding. I regret the loss of his friendship, now not much more than exchange of cards at Christmas although he always remembers my birthday and also that of my partner (I suspect there's something else there about his personality?). If I had to come face-to-face with him and with others like him, there would be huge embarrassment: I suspect that he would be the one to raise my lack of faith but it would probably be at a moment when there was no time to dialogue - perhaps I mis-judge him.
  10. Yes, yet another 'fear' that they have to live with. One of the first steps on the slippery path away from faith is to associate with unbelievers. Lives better without the fear of god hanging over us - yes, indeed. I rather provocatively included in my ex-testimony that I was 'surprised by joy' when I deconverted. Satan in us: yes I think that many believe that, well supported by what they find in their Bibles. Not sure about us being thought to be irredeemable - I think most would not want to 'give up' trying to convert us so, at the least, they say that they will pray for us. (Perhaps the 'Strict and Peculiar Baptists' and their ilk might think it!)
  11. I realise it's a pointless exercise but I'm intrigued. Firstly, I have Christian friends (almost all from the liberal end of Christianity, which is not my background) who remain good friends although nobody seems to want to question my reasons for giving up on god. I'm grateful that they 'accept me as I am' but it would be nice if we could talk about our differences; in effect this is a gap in our friendship. Some of my fundamentalist 'friends' want to convert me and are praying for me (hasn't worked in fifteen years), and others only engage at a very superficial level and never challenge my beliefs. Some end their messages to me with things like "Yours in the Lord": perhaps I should challenge that, it is so ridiculous, although I think that would end friendships. So why? What might be their reasons? Help me make a list of possible thoughts in their minds. Here are some that I know apply to my friends: They are embarrassed that one of their number has 'backslidden', has 'lost his faith' (I didn't, I gave it up). They think that intellectual learning has turned my head and there's no point in talking about faith. (Note: my father, also a minister, used to say "Fill the pulpit with degrees and by degrees you will empty the church"!) They think that associating with liberal Christians has defiled me. They are genuinely (but mistakenly, of course,) concerned about what they call my eternal salvation. They don't understand and don't want to 'waste' time talking about it. Perhaps the following apply? They believe they have the truth so there's nothing to discuss. They have doubts themselves and cannot face losing their comfort blanket. They think that I am beyond the pale and it is more important for them to sow on good ground. They believe that they will be defiled by having anything to do with an apostate (the Bible supports this). Anyone got more reasons why Christians back off? Thank you.
  12. It's not new and it is growing by 'circulation of the saints'. This quote says it all, doesn't it?: “I don’t understand it; I just know it’s God,” Autumn said. For me this is the evil of the worst kind of christianity.
  13. It's simples, innit? Jesus is god. god is three including the spirit. jesus returned as the spirit at pentecost. it's all over. Well, that's an argument I've heard. There's always a way round problems. It's simples, innit it?
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