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Testingthewaters

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About Testingthewaters

  • Rank
    Curious

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Interests
    Music, guitar, video games, VR, meeting people, board games, ect.
  • More About Me
    I don't really know what to put here. I'm trying to figure out what I believe and kinda taking a step back from religion in order to see how other people interact with the world.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Yes, Christian God

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  1. Well at this moment I'm not looking into that side of things. Honestly your post makes me wonder if you even read my post.
  2. So I grew up christian and after a long time in it and believing it at various levels I'm taking a step back. One thing thats always bothered me is the views on sexuality. I think consenting people should be able to do what they want. Thing is, ive never really applied that idea to myself. At 26 years old I'm a virgin, Ive only kissed 2 women and that was pretty rare. I was sexual with one but we never had actual intercourse. Ive watched porn and masturbated but always in a reluctant way. I at time would talk to women online sexually and do the whole cyber/phone sex thing with them but it was always very weird because I wasn't fully commiting to it. I almost didn't want it to feel good, it was more about release than enjoyment (with a few exceptions). Now. I just want to fullly let go. I have a strong sex drive, there have been times in my life where Ive masturbated multiple times in a row cause for whatever reason i thought It would be nice. I want to get to know people (well mostly women) who are ok with openly talking to me about sex. I want talk to them and be completely open about everything I'm feeling or wanting or enjoying. All sexuality has been a hidden thing in my life and now? now I want to just fully be transparent with someone. I want them to be happy that I'm talking with them about it even if its just me awkwardly telling them about some porn clip ive enjoyed and i want them to overall be encouraging about exploring and enjoying myself. I'm only interested in this type of behavior online though, i'm just straight up not ready for anything in real life with someone yet and I feel way more brave online where no one knows me. Ive tried finding people of a similar attitude in the past. Its somewhat problematic. I'm a 26 year old man who isn't really kinky at all and has no interest in roleplay, and who can be somewhat shy. Add in that I primarily like to voice chat though skype or discord or something and it becomes even more difficult to find people or communities who are open to the type of openness I'm looking for. I mean there are a ton of thirsty dudes online trying to get something from women and while I want it to be a friendship was well at the end of the day I am actually looking for someone within a sexual context. Of course I get lost in the sea of guys. And I do still get kinda shy about it at times which makes it even more ridicule. Anyways, What do you guys think about this plan? as ex-christians did you go through a similar phase or have similar desires at some point? What is the best way for me to find what I'm looking for?
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