Hi. I'm 32 years old, and I've been a Christian for....most of that. I grew up in a house where religion was life. Everything revolved around church, god and the works. I was homeschooled and indoctrinated from an early age. I prayed the sinners prayer at 5 or 6. Clearly, I did not understand it. Theres absolutely no way, but that's what I was supposed to do. I grew up, involved in church. Youth group. Had a best friend who was a super christian. Met my wife, my friend didn't approve of her so he made her feel not good enough and unvalued. We, obviously, had a falling out.
It was at this point I began questioning everything, living my own way. Smoking. Having sex without being married. Things that were a huge deal. It became a big issue with my parents.
Eventually I got married, my wife became a Christian and we lived for several years like so. That brings me to the last couple years.
I have decided within the last year I'm done. Done with god, jesus and religion. I've read several books about athiesm and nothing has ever made more sense. It addressed all the questions I've always had but never been given answers. I feel freedom I never had before.
I have several issues. The inconsistency of the bible and origin of christianity. The judgement of Christian's I know. The scientific evidence against the bible and the fairy tales in it.but most of all the idea of hell. I learned about hell as a young child and knew people went there. It terrifies me and still does. The idea that this loving god created everlasting eternal punishment is unfathomable and evil. It's nothing more than a scare tactic to convert people and get 10% of their income. I cant believe in our worship a god that would do that. And if god is all-knowing and all-powerful but created hell then I see too options.
1 he is evil
2 he is not all-knowing or all-powerful where he can prevent it
The freedom I feel from walking away is amazing.
I have not talked to my parents about this. Honestly it's such a pain in the ass. I have a cousin who is a lesbian and it's a huge issue of concern to my parents who treat her terrible because of it. My wife had enough one day and said that as long as she was happy it's ok. My dad cut her off to tell her why she was wrong he was incredibly disrespectful and I lost respect for him over this. But he felt it was justified because...you know god trumps everything. Things with my family is complicated. My dad is not open minded, he will never listen to my reasoning or feelings. He will only preach. Fuck that I dont need it. My sister is a single mom of 3, lives off my parents but is super religious and fearful. Shes a conspiracy theorist, her new thing is end of the world stuff. Covid-19 is an end of the world thing. Mark of the beast stuff. It's crazy.
But overall I'm happiest and more confident than I've ever been. I'm a better person. I'm continuing to learn, and I'm excited for the future. Thanks for reading