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decafaholic

Regular Member
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decafaholic last won the day on July 12 2020

decafaholic had the most liked content!

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About decafaholic

  • Rank
    Skeptic
  • Birthday 04/09/1987

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Central Arkansas
  • Interests
    reading, writing, tea, dancing, walking, comedies, art
  • More About Me
    I'm a slave to my cat.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    yes, Great Spirit

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  1. I apologize for being so late to this topic. I've been gone for a while. OP, I'm sorry that your father was so cruel. You did not deserve to be treated like that. You were just a kid and you needed acceptance. Instead, your dad sent the message that you weren't good enough the way you were. That is damaging to a child. I can understand why that hurts you. I don't think I could have a relationship with my dad if he acted like yours. I think if you try to ignore your pain or tell yourself to just get over it, you'll find it surfacing over and over and over. I wish I could tell you how to h
  2. Welcome back! I just came back after a long absence too. How is your dad dealing with you being queer?
  3. YES, for the first three years after I deconverted, I had what I call a "divinstrual cycle". Every January (who knows why) I would suddenly regain faith in God for about 3 days. But the same logical questions kept surfacing like "How can a good God allow suffering?" and that killed it. Recently, in April, I started feeling a sense of spiritual longing but this time I was more ready to handle it. I've been in therapy for a long time, I've grown up a lot since my last 3-day tango with faith, and this time around, I can conceptualize a God that make more sense. What helped me was list
  4. I think of women with long hair who swear you can treat the flu with crushed up berries and Himalayan salt. Spirituality needs better PR!
  5. I realized recently that even though my deconversion process happened 14 years ago, there are aspects I'm still grieving. I've learned in therapy that if I ignore the parts of myself that are sad, it will eventually come back and bite me. So, I decided to write a letter to my deconversion process, as if it were a person. I was really surprised at what I wrote: I want to thank you for coming into my life at a time when I needed you but didn't want you. I was clinging to poison. Dysfunction felt like home to me. I was not grateful when you showed up. I was s
  6. Oh wow you have good attention to detail! My sister’s family is Baptist and I know they call it “ baby dedication” but I use the word “ Christening” because I honestly thought it was the same thing.
  7. I'm a fan of Tucker Max and he's been vocal about how much MDMA has helped him in addition to psychotherapy. Tim Ferris is a huge fan of psychedelics for their benefits for PTSD sufferers. In fact, he's pouring a lot of money into research happening in the US, I think. Back in April, I started visiting the little chapel we have at work (hospital) to be alone in silence. I started talking aloud about how stressed and angry and sad I was about COVID and being an essential worker and how I felt like I was barely hanging on. When I had gotten everything off my chest, I started spontane
  8. Oh shit. Sorry. I thought you were joking about the failed missionary turned alcoholic thing. Congrats on your recovery!
  9. There's a memoir I'll read! Shut up and take my money!
  10. Oh! The A/G school in Florida! I went to SAGU (in Texas) for 3 semesters. Generally, the impression I got is graduates from A/G schools either went on to become missionaries or alcoholics. Which one were you?
  11. Terrible metaphor incoming: Let's say one day you woke up and suddenly you had synesthesia. Hearing Individual musical notes causes you to see certain colors, so hearing music is a visual as well as auditory experience. Your first thought probably isn't "Wow! This is so cool! I see sound now!" Personally, my first thought would be "What the fuck is going on? Do I have a brain tumor or some shit? Where did these colors come from???" That could also be because I'm generally an anxious person and I don't love change. My identity was built around "If we can't measure it,
  12. I wasn't Catholic. I grew up Assemblies of God.
  13. I mean, see title. I've been an atheist for 14-ish years. I haven’t set foot in a church service since my niece’s christening 10 years ago. My husband is agnostic, my friends and family accept me. I get along well with my Christian coworkers and friends. I’m way past the angst of deconverting. so I don’t have an explanation for why, in Mid April, I felt like my soul started opening up. Yes, working through COVID has been stressful but I’ve been through worse. Stress doesn’t explain it. its a long story and if you want details, you can PM me. What en
  14. I'll just say I'm glad I didn't marry the first guy I fell in love with at age 21. We would certainly be divorced by now.
  15. ( flings the door open) Mooom! daaad! I’m hoooome! ( studio audience applause) OMG it’s been 6 years since I last visited the ExC Forums! i see some old faces: Margee, Florduh, Redneck Professor! You guys were part of the ExC generation that raised me. Seriously, I started here in like 2007 as a terrified young adult who had just left Bible college and could barely find my vagina with both hands! You guys were with me through awkward virginity losing and coming out to the family and my 4-year “ let’s date a Christian” phase. I took a long break b
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