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Posts posted by buffettphan

  1. @FreeFromGuiltHere's a little of my story.  


    My husband and I married in 1973 after 2+ years of dating.  We were both raised Catholic, but neither of us attended church.  I had stopped believing while in high school.  He just kinda shrugged off religion because as he says "the only reason I was raised catholic was so my mom could attend their bingo parties."    Anyhow we had our first child after being married for about 5 years and our next one a couple of years later.   We always said we were going to wait to have kids to make sure our marriage "clicked".  (In retrospect, how stupid was that!?!)  


    About a dozen years into our marriage, someone he worked with managed to brainwash my otherwise very intelligent husband.   To this day I really don't understand how or why he fell for that garbage.  But he did and our lives changed forever.   After his conversion, I decided to re-evaluate my position on christianity.  Maybe I was young and dumb when I made that decision?  So  I went with him to all the various churches he tried as he searched for the perfect one.  I read and studied the bible every day.   Suddenly he started tithing and spending less time at home and more time with his christian fiends.  He volunteered for everything the church wanted.   He felt guilty about everything and still does.  After a year or so, I realized I just could never go back to christinsanity.   About the same time, on Easter Sunday, his church preached to the kids in children's church that if they got  Easter Baskets, they were going to hell and so were their parents.  DON"T MESS WITH MY KIDS!  I told DFH that was it.   Neither the kids nor I attended church with him again.


    So for 30 years, we've had the "agree-to-disagree" program going on in our marriage.    It hasn't always been easy, but like I said above, we are both good, decent people with mostly similar values.   But I wish he would remove those god-goggles and see reality.  He would be so much happier and I bet his stress and blood pressure would go down too!

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  2. MOHO and I are in similar boats and I'll use MOHO's post as examples for me too. (Thanks MOHO!)


    Here at Ex-C, I have referred to Mr. Buffettphan as my DFH --DearFundyHubby.  You are really fortunate that your husband stopped believing when he did.  I'm sure life will be so much smoother, easier, and fun!


    Mr. Buffettphan says he still loves me, but I think he loves the idea of saving my soul more than anything.


    I only go to church for weddings and funerals.  Oh, and my grandkids school functions.  Yes one set of them is on the dark side too, although they aren't as fanatical.


    He spends more time with his jesus-freaks friends (or as I call them "fiends"), videos, and sermons.


    I was never a true believer either.  Even worse I was raised Catholic and we know how they are!  (He was raised Catholic too, but that's different.)


    I get super annoyed at his jesus-freak music.  He thinks he can sing, so that makes it even worse.   


    I don't talk about my Big Mistake of 1973.  I try not to dwell on the past. (See below)  And most days I guess I wouldn't change it because without him, I wouldn't have my kids and grandkids.  But as they say, you can't miss what you never knew......


    Edited to add one more thing.   I HATE all the money that has been wasted through the years on his propaganda,  brainwashing, and pastors' new cars.


    Mr. Buffettphan and I do have a lot of similar values because we are both good people.  I am the evidence that you can be good without god.  He on the other hand believes it takes His God to be a good person.


    So other than that, we're good too....    🙂






    Jimmy Buffett > Quotes > Quotable Quote

    Jimmy Buffett

    “Oh, yesterdays are over my shoulder,
    So I can't look back for too long.
    There's just too much to see waiting in front of me,
    and I know that I just can't go wrong.”

     Jimmy Buffett



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  3. 11 hours ago, Geezer said:


    How do you turn a believer into a non-believer?  Make them actually read and study the Bible! :wacko:


    8 hours ago, LogicalFallacy said:


    Sadly that's not working for my fundie family who read it ad nauseum. The believer has to be first willing to admit it might not be true.



    Yeah, they've got to remove their god-goggles first in order to read and study the buybull objectively.  Unfortunately sometimes it seems like those goggles are superglued to their faces!

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  4. It can be very hard and painful to get past that christian brainwashing.  There are as many ways of dealing with it as there are people who are brainwashed.     If someone's advice speaks to you, look into it.   If it doesn't,  move on to something else.    Give it time and please don't be so hard on yourself.   ((Hugs))

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  5. I live in the Richmond VA area.    His wife tested positive also.   I can hardly wait to find out how many people from his church get sick and spread it to who-knows-how many others.   Just about when the curve was flattening here too.  Almost all of the new cases in the past few days had stemmed from nursing/retirement homes.   I guess that will be changing over the next couple of weeks. 😠

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  6. 30 minutes ago, Geezer said:

    Esther Perel and Dr. Lindsey Doe have some terrific sex education YouTube videos. I grew up in NW Indiana in the 60’s. My father was an atheists and my mother, believed in God, but wasn’t religious. That noted, religions influence was so strong I don’t remember ever hearing the word “sex” being spoken in our home. 


    I learned about sex from other kids my age. The information was mostly incorrect. Porn consisted of “dirty” pictures. At that time Playboy and other “men’s” magazines didn’t show anything more than a woman’s breasts and butt. A woman’s vagina was a total mystery for boys my age. I was married before I knew what a clit was, where it was, and why it was important. 

    I was in the Navy before I learned what going down on a woman was all about. My wife, a Baptist from birth, and I had been married for at least 5 years when she bought a book called, “Everything you wanted to know about sex, but are afraid to ask.” Just reading it felt like were were doing something wrong.The book lead to our first experience with oral sex, and we both felt like we were sinning.


    It took years for us to work through the belief that sex, even married sex, was in some way sinful if it was anything other than missionary, lights out, coverers pulled up. My wife is still not comfortable with nudity. All of this came from being Christian Fundamentalists for 47 years. We somehow managed to have two children.


    Esther Perel is from Belgium, I think. She sees sex education in America as pathetic. She indicates appropriate sex education begins around age 5 in Europe. I have no idea what sex education in like in our schools this day and age. I assume watching porn, on the internet, is where most people get their sexual education these days. 

    I believe we have religion to thank for the lack of quality sex education in America.


    5 minutes ago, TABA said:

    I wouldn't admit to that, even here...






    @Geezer --  * I fixed it for ya!    🤣

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  7. 3 hours ago, TruthSeeker0 said:

    I know the question isn't for me but what more evidence is required for this than the Bible itself? Is the old testament not enough? 



    Not just the old testament., but the new testament also:



    [1 Timothy 2] begins by stating that “men should pray” (and the word used here for men is andras, a gendered word that refers only to males) and then says “women should dress themselves modestly and decently” (vv. 8–9). So men are to pray, and women are to dress modestly. That’s quite a contrast. But there’s more: “Let a woman learn in silence and full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to be silent” (vv. 11–12). The author’s rationale: “For Adam was formed first, then Eve, and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor” (vv. 13–14). According to this text, women were to be silent in worship gatherings (and men were certainly not told to be silent), and the rationale for this mandate is that woman (Eve) was created second and sinned first. And the final blow is this: A woman “will be saved” (the future tense of the standard word for “be saved,” “be given salvation”) “through childbirth if she remains in faith and love and sanctification with modesty” (1 Timothy 2:15).





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  8. They'll blame it on the evil government/s persecuting them and their right of assembly -- despite 


    Romans 13:1-2 says: "Obey the government, for God is the One who has put it there. There is no government anywhere that God has not placed in power. So those who refuse to obey the law of the land are refusing to obey God, and punishment will follow."

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  9. ^ This!    I have a grandson who was born prematurely.   He's 16 now and although he appears perfectly healthy to an outsider, for the rest of his life,  he will ALWAYS be at a high risk for anything that affects the respiratory system.    


    There are millions of people who are at risk.  People need to stop being so goddamn selfish.   



  10. Quote

    Virginia's measure, HB 386, which takes effect July 1, prohibits health care providers or counselors licensed by the state from subjecting anyone under 18 to the practice. Doing so, according to the bill, will constitute "unprofessional conduct and is grounds for disciplinary action."






    My state, Virginia, is the first southern state to pass a ban on conversion therapy.  Parents can't force it on their minor children. 

    Well, at least not legally.  



  11. 9 hours ago, Fuego said:


    I did think about getting large Scrooge and Grinch dolls and putting them in rocking chairs on our porch, looking out at the neighbor's decorations... Still might. I'll post pics if I do. 


    For many years I used to put a Grinch and an Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street under the tree or on the mantle.  They were leftover stuffed animals from my kids' childhood.  Then I switched to tropical decorations.











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  12. Oh yeah!  The show is hilarious and one of my current favorites.   Also Showtime's On Becoming A God in South Florida about an MLM pyramid cult/company that sells Amway-type products and recruits the vulnerable gullible true believers, is also over the top yet spot on.



    ...Lutsky and his co-creator Robert Funke actually started out writing a show about religious cults, and found there to be lots of crossover with multilevel marketing companies...



  13. 4 minutes ago, OrdinaryClay said:

    I'm not talking about the US either. Is it really that hard to break out of your bubble?


    HA HA.  Sometimes I'd love to live in a bubble away from all the Authentic Christian (and other obnoxious religions') Believers in the world, but alas that's not going to happen.  So I live in reality.  But I do think it would be nice if christians living within their own martyr complex could escape from it.  So I provide resources.  Take 'em or leave 'em.  



    As @disillusionedl  said above:





    In the west,  it's not really a thing. 


    It's true that Christians are persecuted in certain other parts of the world, usually by extremists of one stripe or another. But such people usually don't specifically target Christians; rather, they target anyone who doesn't agree with them.


    The myth that Christians are a major target of persecution needs to die. 


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      I was pleasantly surprised to read that the SSA has been at Baylor for 12 years and already had established chapters at Notre Dame, American University, and Chapman University.


      I was not surprised to read this:  





      And they’ve received harsh backlash when other students on campus find out about SSA or their beliefs.

      The second student had people come up to him and say, “If you don’t believe in God, your life is meaningless. Why don’t you just go kill yourself?”




      But christians are the ones persecuted....yeah right.

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    • Welcome to Ex-C!  Glad you found something that works for you.   :)


      We do have a sub-forum that you'll probably find interesting.   Click on:



      Ex-Christian Spirituality (near the bottom of the list)

       This area is for those who have left Christianity for another form

       of theism or spirituality (Deism, Paganism, Wicca, Great Spirit, The Force, Buddhism, etc.).

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    • 1 hour ago, OrdinaryClay said:

      Early history is not the subject of my question. My interest is current persecution.



      The first link shows the myth of persecution from the early history of christianity.


      The second link shows that the myth of persecution  continues and remains applicable today.  A small snippet:





      ...There simply is no great persecution of Christians in the United States—or even a not-so-great one—nor is any expected. If anything, President Donald J. Trump, a great hero to the religious right despite his lack of personal piety, is trying to hand them much of what they want.


      Far from being persecuted, religious groups in the United States enjoy great privilege. A few years ago I wrote a book titled Taking Liberties: Why Religious Freedom Doesn’t Give You The Right To Tell Other People What To Do. In that book, I listed some of the privileges US religious groups get. Tax exemption is one example, with special laws making it next to impossible for the IRS to audit churches. Others are exemptions from lobbying disclosure laws, exemptions from anti-discrimination laws, exemptions from laws designed to protect employee rights, exemptions from many forms of oversight that are applied to comparable secular institutions, and even exemptions from laws intended to protect employees’ pensions. (This is a partial list.)


      Turn on your television and start flipping channels. Chances are, you won’t have to go far to hit a TV ministry. Spin the radio dial and you’ll hear lots of preaching. Drive through the streets of any town, even a small one, and you’ll pass numerous churches. Websites? Twitter accounts? Facebook pages? Publishing arms? Door-to-door proselytizers? Overseas missionaries? Schools and colleges? Religious groups have them in spades.


      What sort of treatment do religious lobbyists receive in Washington, DC, or in your state capital? I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that it’s deference.


      As for that rising tide of secularism that’s going to wipe out religion? It exists only in the fevered dreams of the right wing...



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