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Everything posted by Fuego

  1. Welcome! Actually, rather than books this forum is one of the best places to interact with those who have deconverted and the variety of experiences we have had because of the changes. From age 11 I spent 30 years as a wholehearted believer (Nazarene, Baptist, Pentecostal) and church was one of the first places I had friends and a social life. I typically set aside any questions and problems with the faith in confidence that I would someday understand them fully, rather than seeing them as actual problems and that I had been duped from the beginning by well-meaning people who had also been dup
  2. That's very much the "teaching" effect underlying the use of these things. Rather than just the ride itself is what we do with the insights when we are back in normality. One older guy I follow on youtube said that in the last few months (due to his use of DMT) his perspective on his wife and life in general has been transformed into one of great appreciation and recognition of the tremendous love he's been given rather than seeing others as a general annoyance and treating them as such. Another youtube guy who is about as non-woo as they come is always looking for the practical side after the
  3. That is exactly what they have done to you since birth. Nothing has changed except your own self, and toxic people will do anything to get you back under their control because they like it that way (even if they think it is "right" or "the way God ordained", etc) Another crisis, another "offense", another proclamation from god, another "forgive me" with no intention at all to change. You are making strides in a new direction in life, and they will never encourage you in that because they can't manipulate you into being what you always were before. But they will try every play in the book to de
  4. It sounds like your concern for your sister's response is the primary thing here. I don't know that anything you do or say will change her emotions or reactions. She has learned toxic manipulation as a lifestyle. What she chooses to do with her life is up to her. You are taking real steps towards a far more healthy lifestyle, but the family ties are still tied. It's clear that your dad isn't about to change his personality, regardless of hospitalization, other than perhaps using his situation as an emotional club. Some families are so toxic that the best thing is to disappear from their radar
  5. I prefer giving directly to those I know who are in need (right now most professional musicians are totally out of work). Otherwise, I prefer food banks that directly help the needy with actual help rather than religion and superstition. Then again, the local Sikh community has been consistently feeding anyone that comes to their community feeds. They choose to be kind rather than preach.
  6. My 2 cents, if transgender is seen as mental illness, then wouldn't homosexuality also be? For years it was classified that way and "treated" horrifically. Are fetishes (unusual things that people find sexually stimulating)) illness or just biodiversity (nature rolling the genetic dice to see what adapts best)? Some like to pretend they are animals, some like the look and feel of latex, some like articles of clothing, some like popping balloons. Most fetishes stay hidden, so we don't tend to talk about them as issues. I have friends who are gay, lesbian, trans, bi, queer (a sort o
  7. Some days you just can't win, and it is better to remain silent than even broach the topics we see daily. I'm facing something similar regarding the violence in Portland. We had protests over legitimate concerns about police violence become hijacked by anarchists who like to break windows and start fires. Police and federal troops used that as an excuse to flood the area with tear gas, beat and arrest journalists, beat black homeowners in the area who complained about the tear gas harming their children, etc. I ranted online about this being an evil thing since a small part of the group were e
  8. Most of our circle of friends were because of the church, and for the most part those interactions stopped. Occasionally one of the families would contact us and invite us to things, but one of the uncles always looks at us like we are demons so there really isn't any point. His fear spread to a couple of others who used to be nice, and now they look like we might cut their throats (fear). So we just stay away. Family mostly went quiet until recently (that's about 12 years later). It takes time. We left the church prior to deconverting (due to control and money issues with the
  9. Cronos, the father of Zeus, ate his children whole out of fear they would overthrow him. Zeus fed him a potion to make him cough up his siblings. Zeus (out of the same kind of fear) later turned his own pregnant wife into a fly and ate her and their daughter Athena. They lived well within his head until his ex-wife forged a helmet for Athena and the pounding gave him such a headache that he ordered a servant to cut his head open with a sword, and Athena jumped out fully grown. Zeus's ex-wife apparently decided to stay and lived inside Zeus thereafter. Gods of all kinds rarely make
  10. He isn't real, neither is Satan (or Spiderman, or Thor, or any of the many Hindu gods) You are experiencing a conditioned response to mental programming. You can insult Thor and Spiderman all day long, imagine them in bed, whatever. They don't exist, which is why Hollywood needs to spend millions on special effects making movies about them. Same as when Hollywood spent millions making all the films and TV series about Jesus, another fictitious character that people adopt as an imaginary friend and spend millions promoting. No need for any fear at all. But mental instability creates felt fears
  11. I've only had brief episodes with anxiety, but the feeling of my mind not being right was genuinely scary. I'm so glad that you found good help and were able to navigate your way back out. Welcome back!
  12. Here is a website dedicated to the Amanita muscaria (and ameripantha/pantherina) https://www.amanitadreamer.net/ She was on YouTube, but they seem to be convinced that she is advocating something harmful. There is a lot of misinformation about this mushroom (and some plain-white relatives of it that really are deadly), and she delves into the science as well as the woo side. She also has at least one interview with a company that is going to market a tincture of it after it passes approval by the FDA.
  13. You are projecting your own phobia onto others and insisting it is real. I have no fear of Zeus, Odin, Ra, Allah, Spiderman, Freddy Krueger, or any other imaginary person/being. I know that it can be hard to distinguish between reality and a strongly felt phobia, but there are doctors who can help you if you seek help. We can't cure you, only keep reminding you and showing you evidence. But deeply ingrained fears sometimes take medications and a caring guide to reset. That isn't a slam, it is simply the reality of brain chemistry.
  14. Keep in mind also that different flavors of Christianity don't believe that anyone ever hears from God anymore. Baptists, Presbyterians, and most "high" church denominations believe the Bible is either closed (meaning no more miracles, revelations, prophecies, or anything else because the Bible is supposed to be perfect *snert*) or that God has chosen to stop openly communicating. I had a pastor kicked out of a congregation for saying that "God told me that for Easter we should gather all the churches as one in the stadium and then give the offering to charity". 1, they had a hissy fit over hi
  15. I just posted this article "Sexual Anguish of Atlanta Suspect is Familiar Thorn for Evangelicals" to FB along with my views on Christian purity. May have opened the barn door this time, time will tell. https://news.yahoo.com/sexual-anguish-atlanta-suspect-familiar-140929602.html
  16. The best things to do with toxic people are to move away from them if possible, or appeal to an authority for the abuse you are facing. I moved away from a roommate who was invasive and used the cult to justify his greed and invasive habits. He actually saved months worth of junk mail that came to the house that had my name on it, and demanded that I come and get it, that it wasn't his responsibility to toss it in the recycling bin. He's a control freak. He can drown in junk mail for all I care. I had a coworker who had giddy delight in insulting me. My bosses tolerate
  17. A 1.5 hour video of a historian of psychedelics revisiting and debunking the claim that Christmas is related to the Amanita muscaria mushroom. Rather than trying to make it fit, he looks for any actual evidence that this mushroom played any part in the Santa Claus outfit, Christian art, and Christmas. Let me know what you think. The sound quality isn't great, but he does read and understand old Latin texts and seems to have a really good grasp on rules of evidence for history. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSDIUNDltxc
  18. Then there's "heaven" with streets of metal and giant gates of pearl, I guess made by giant irritated clams. Why would a god who makes galaxies value gold and pearls? "Gold and pearls Charlie! It's a magic place of gold and pearls, just across the magical bridge of awe and wonder!!" Context: Charlie the Unicorn goes to Candy Mountain
  19. Most of the time, yes it is pretty here. Though the recent warmth and sunshine has been absolutely wonderful after months of rain, the ice storm (still a few piles of snow where it was plowed up in parking lots), and the 2020 fires-from-hell.
  20. The flip-flop approach to God's blessing/curse suits religion fine because it is a shell game that they (the ones in charge) never lose. When you said "He punishes me if I go. And blesses me when I leave", it reminded me of Jeremiah 44 where the people told him that they were prospering fine when they were pagans, but when they turned back to Yahweh he destroyed their country. So of course Jerry finds a way to blame them for the war, saying god had been showing them mercy and prosperity to draw them back, and then had enough of their shit and ruined them. He never told them this at the time be
  21. Instead of someone lying to you and providing a story about the meaning of life, you get to make your own meaning. Not invent another fantasy, but you get to choose what you want to learn, with whom you want to be friends, what pastimes you want to have, what you want to accomplish. For me when the blinders came off, the whole world that I previously had interpreted as demonic was now a wonderful place full of music, culture, foods, languages, beauty, puzzles, technology, dancing, and a load of new insights into my own family upbringing and what makes me tick. I took voice lessons, language le
  22. I remember my own pastor being ticked at me for believing in conspiracy in the church, and in retrospect I still think I was right. But this was a different kind of conspiracy, and had nothing to do with thinking we could shoot our way to the kingdom of God. My pastor was embracing some New Age ideas and saying they were perfectly valid for Christians because Jesus was the "spirit guide". I told him that these techniques he was starting to use were not found in the Bible anywhere, not even in concept. Some couple was promoting the idea that one could revisit past trauma but this time see Jesus
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