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About marroncream

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
  1. Thank you for all the feedback, it's much appreciated. I started feeling emotional about there actually being people who understand what I'm going through, because I think it's affecting me more than I think. Usually I joke about it with my friends and sometimes think it's funny, but it's really not. Yes, he's had anger management problems in the past, he's said a few times in recent years that he's a changed person now, but although he doesn't throw public tantrums anymore (he used to do things like flip tables over in restaurants, punch strangers' cars if he was crossing road and th
  2. Hi all, (Apologies for the long story) I am frustrated by the sheer arrogance and narcissism that my pastor dad is displaying, which is ruining his relationships with everyone around him, and causing him to lose jobs. I worry that one day, he and my mom will be destitute purely because of his arrogant ways. My dad left a corporate career to study theology and to become a pastor a few years ago. After graduation, he has since been kicked out of 3 churches after a short tenure at each (approx 1 year), and each time it was never his fault. It was always either 'the congregation were
  3. I just realised that he said in his letter he wants me to marry before September not because some pastor is moving to town, but because that's when this couple are moving back to his town after having lived together 'sinfully' in another country, and he is forcing them to confess this in front of the whole congregation before they are allowed to marry, and if his own daughter is doing the same, he can't hypocritically tell this other couple to confess. This is purely for his personal warped agenda. I can't believe it. The poor couple.
  4. I think apostate has said something that I have to admit is right, it took me so much courage and so much nerve to even tell them about me living with my boyfriend, thinking that once it's out they might be angry but will have to deal with it in the way of 'oh well, she's the black sheep on the family', but it really doesn't work like that. They are so irrationally outraged about something that, when you think about properly, I have been doing for the past few years right in front of their faces, that they don't see what they're actually angry about. I've lived with men before, I'm living with
  5. I actually live somewhere in Europe. I know I'm being paranoid, but I just don't want him or his congregation googling stuff and identifying him. See how his scare tactics work?
  6. Dear all, I've been reading all your posts over and over again to try to gain some strength and hammer it into my head that it's not my fault. I think Overcame Faith summarizes the situation best. The Chinese Christian community is like a very small, insular, incestuous club where everyone meddles in everyone's affairs and everyone's lives are everyone else's soap operas. Because my dad's the pastor, it makes him the main gossip target of the community, and when this community comprises of uneducated, super religious Chinese takeaway owners, it does not make for a very open-minded, discern
  7. Hi everybody, Thank you for all your replies, I think I really need to wake up and realise that I am not a special case and that my parents don't have special control over me. I'm still really scared and have no idea how to proceed. I would like to stop contact for a while, but all they would do is jump on the train and come find me at work and ruin my life. I also don't want him to get a heart attack if I say no. But there is no way I am getting married in August, that is just totally ridiculous. Oh God. I'm glad there's Easter break to mull over this. I can't believe I'm at this stage, i
  8. I know, but what about all the b**lshit about his reputation being ruined because the Chinese Christian circle is tiny, and people can spread rumors. We live in different countries, but they're next to each other and his community frequently travels to my country (see, he's made me paranoid about 'ruining his reputation' in case someone googles and figures out it's him!) and he sounds genuinely concerned about losing his job. It's just ridiculous because I don't move in his circles at all, but he's getting very paranoid and it's just making it worse. The fact he's far away doesn't mean I'm any
  9. Dear all, I am so grateful for a website like this because I don't know where else to go. I can tell my friends all I want, but they won't understand just how extreme Christians can be. I've posted on this board before and wrote about comments that my pastor father makes, and I was told that he is being abusive and that I should stand up to him. This time, it's 100 times worse. Just so you know the background, my family are Chinese Christian fundamentalists and my dad is a pastor. I've never been a firm believer even though I've been going to church since I was 6. I stopped when I was
  10. Dear All, Thank you for all your replies, they've been very useful. My dad emailed me this today: 'At least you won't be kicked out of heaven. But you need to re-examine your relationship with God' (in response to my worries about having to leave the UK due to visa requirements tightening). Receiving that at 9 in the morning set a moody, stressful tone for the rest of the day, but I remembered the comments for my post on this site and I felt better. Hi William, yes I'm the eldest of two daughters. My sister, in contrast to me, is highly devout, to the point of superstition. I think it
  11. Thank you for all your support, at the moment I feel a bit overwhelmed and choked up with emotions. On the one hand I'm happy that so many people seem to relate to my situation, on the other hand I feel the pressure of my dad's authority still looming over me. His most recent email included this gem: 'Whether you recoil or not, it is your choice, but I won't tell you the truth in a lighter way just because you are displeased. I have to be true to the truth, and I hope you acknowledge the truth. I am not against you marrying with a different race. On the contrary, your boy friend seem li
  12. Dear all, Thank you very much for all your thoughtful replies, it's been very helpful to hear from people who identify with my problem. I'm glad to realise that I am not an ungrateful child and that my parents are genuinely overbearing. It will take some time to truly assert myself to them, but I trust that I can make it. Thank you again!
  13. Dear all, I have just joined ex-christian.net because I've decided that since it's a new year, I should take concrete steps to save my sanity from my fundamentalist parents' brainwashing attempts. My parents converted to Christianity when I was 6 years old, and I've gone to church until I was 21. I am 25 years old now, but I still feel like Christianity and the church have a stronghold on me, like emotional blackmail, because my dad has recently been ordained as pastor, so I am a pastor's daughter now. Every time I visit my parents, there is never a question of me not going to church with
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