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oddbird1963 last won the day on December 17 2010

oddbird1963 had the most liked content!

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About oddbird1963

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  • Birthday 12/25/1963

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    I'm always too broke to have interests. I guess you could say reading. And trying to take over the world.
  • More About Me
    I had been a Christian for 30 years. I finally had it with the constant dial tone from above, conflicts with the facts of science, and the absence of a real "God-factor" from the people of the church. Tired of an institution that can be fully described by sociology, psychology and economics - - - nothing truly supernatural.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    none that return my calls

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  1. Great letter! Very well written. Honest, sincere, and thorough. I think those three pastors started to read it, had all their long-suppressed and repressed fears and doubts awakened and quickly shoved it to the bottom of their "in" box or just threw the letter away. The honesty and realism of your words is potent stuff. Those pastors probably quickly became busy dong "ministry work" in an effort to quiet the cognitive dissonance and re-suppress and re-repress their smoldering fears and doubts.
  2. Might I assert that it is not selfish (in the bad connotation of selfish) to want people to understand you and where you are coming from? While some people may be here just for what they can get out of it without regard to other people, most people are in a community like this in order to both understand and be understood. It's part of being human and it is ok.
  3. Hello and Welcome, Maximumgorilla! I can identify with the struggle to put the words down in writing, trying to avoid getting bogged down in details or "chasing rabbits" that need not be chased. When I write things down to "get everything out," it's for me, I suppose. When I try to distill and edit things for clarity, effectiveness and reader/listener interest, I guess that is for others. When I go to share my story with others, it is hard to know which of the many versions of the story to share. I think the default is to give the short but effective version. The key would be to think about the person or persons to whom you are telling your narrative. How detailed are their narratives when they open up to you? Do they tolerate other peoples "long versions" or do they just expect others to tolerate theirs? If you have little experience with a person, keep it short. If you have a lot of experience with them, then you'll know how much to open up. You may want to write out a short but sweet version, rehearse it and be prepared to use it in those situations where you know the short one is called for. That way you will be more likely to communicate the essentials without overwheliming or turning off the people with whom you share your story. The good news is that you can be as short or as long as you want to be here on ex-c! You can give your ex-timony 100 times if you want! So, as you mull it over, just remember you are under no pressure here to keep it short or provide lots of details. Just be yourself and we will support you in your journey through post-christianity.
  4. Hey, justbreathe! Welcome! Ramble all you want.
  5. Margee, I'm glad you decided to try to make things better for yourself through going to a counselor. As you can tell, the problem with going to the counselor is that you're guided to make some very hard choices. It'll be very hard at first, but perhaps you could come up with a short sweet little script and then memorize it while smiling or looking thoughtfully in the mirror. How about "With all the issues I've been going through, it just really hurts me to hear such heart-wrenching stories. I can tell it's a heart breaker for you too. Can we please change the subject? Thanks you." That's just a rough rough rough draft. You'll need adapt it and fill it with your insight , compassion and wisdom. But I am rooting for you in the little changes you are trying to make in order to make a big change in your life.
  6. I remember exactly when I knew I didn't believe anymore. I was trying to reconcile this reality with all the statements/promises/doctrines, etc about god. The only way to do so was to realize that god does not exist. I actually toyed with the idea that I was one of the predestined damned -I wanted to "be a child of god" - be obedient, faithful, etc, but for some reason god was not responding, thought his "word" said he should. However, anybody I'd ever talked to about the subject said that if you weren't one of god's chosen, you wouldn't really care about being right with him. Then, I recalled all those people who were full blown calvinists who felt anxious because they didn't reall know if they were truly chosen - you know, - the really, really, really REALLLLLLLLy really actual chosen ones. I thought to myself,"This is insane! Way too irrational. We're not talking about life's profound mysteries, but nutcase, irreconcilable and conflicting doctrines and statements in the bible." I finally realized the reason I couldn't figure out where god was in my life was because there was no god to be there.
  7. I'm sorry for all the struggles you've had. It sucks that people come to such folksy conclusions about mental illness instead of dealing with what the science has to say. I hope this site is an encouragement for you and that you will soon be at the top of your game.
  8. It was a desparate, humiliating feeling. "God, you say you love me, so please give me some indication that you are there. You know me. You know how I think. You can reveal your presence to me in a convincing way. . . " then I got nothing. Florduh's question is perfect. If he loves us, why does he make it reach a point where we have to beg. Yes, I know that living by faith is a cherished value in Christian circles. But this is something different. It's like a person in the middle of a drought dying of thirst and asking the supervisor of the water company for just a glass of water - and being ignored. Real love from a real god would not allow such withholding a response to a reasonable request.
  9. Welcome to the forums, dyanaprajna0. I've really enjoyed your comments and now your ex-timony. I hope you have a great time at this site!
  10. Thanks for sharing your ex-timony with us Akheia! I hope you find this to be a supportive and healing place.
  11. First, I came out long after deconverting. But I came out slowly, first to people who probably felt the same way I did. And then to my then wife and still later to my son. I would advise that you only come out to your family once you are truly financially independent from them and somewhat isolated from them. Establish a network of friends and like-minded relatives that will emotionally support you after you have come out to your family. There are many unforseen consequences that come from revealing your deconversion to family. So give yourself a chance by cultivating new and supportive friendships first.
  12. I read your story with interest. Thanks for sharing it and best wishes for you in your personal journey.
  13. That was an intriguing, heart-wrenching story! I really hate all the turmoil he was put through by people who should, because they supposedly have access to the Holy Spirit, know how to handle people more compassionately. But, that's what religion does. It helps people feel justified and righteous in being dicks to other people.
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