Jump to content


Regular Member
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

0 Neutral

About LBW

  • Rank
  • Birthday 06/27/1983

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
  • ICQ

Profile Information

  • Location
    Middle TN
  • Interests
    Parenting/homeschooling, natural health, logic, Ayn Rand/Objectivism, Small government, Liberty!
  • More About Me
    I'm a 25-year-old mother to 4 remarkably fabulous children, wife to my beloved husband of 6 years. He and I recently went through the process of deconverting from Christianity, much to the horror of our fundamentalist loved ones.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
  1. So happy for you conscienza. Babies are awesome. And just give the anxiety time to fade, I hear it nearly always does happen eventually (I'm a fairly new deconvert myself).
  2. Your parents sound alot like mine, and I certainly wouldn't have revealed my unbelief to them if I'd lived in their home. My husband and I didn't start the deconversion process until we'd already moved to a town several hours away from our parents, so we were fortunate - if we'd come to these conclusions much earlier, it would have been infinitely more difficult to tell our families, or to hide it from them. One thing you should remind yourself of: you have no moral obligation to help your parents be happy. Even if, as you say, they do love you in some way (although in the case of my parents, who've disowned me for my disbelief, I cannot believe that they actually loved me if a mere change in my way of thinking was enough for them to completely turn their back on me), their reaction to your deconversion is not your responsibility. You owe them nothing, and if they cannot come to terms with your leaving the faith, you are blameless of that. Anyway, thanks so much for posting. Hope these, "total strangers" can offer you the validation you seek. I know they certainly helped me.
  3. I'm glad you posted your story, conscienza. That alone can be a helpful exercise. I can identify with this . . . I have often said since my deconversion that I wish I could believe for my father. But the fact is, your parents' reaction to your non-faith is their responsibility, not yours. You obviously don't need to tell them until you're ready, so don't rush it - and in my case I chose to share the news in a letter rather than face-to-face. But if/when you do reveal your beliefs (which is difficult not to do when you have a very fundamentalist family like yours, and like mine), remember than any negative reactions they may have are not your fault. You didn't adopt this way of thinking to spite them, you arrived at & acknowledged the truthful conclusions despite how much, "easier" it would have been for you to pretend to believe the delusion. "Coming out" to my Christian friends and family was a big step in my finding peace with my new worldview. It was a painful experience, but the alternative of remaining in hiding, as if I was ashamed of my beliefs, was unacceptable for me personally. On some level, it would have made me feel perpetually that what I believed was wrong. After the initial difficulty, the act of exposing my Atheism helped free me from residual guilt and doubts. But even with that, I've still got time to go before I'm totally cleansed of the hangups religion left in me. Give yourself time to heal. And seek out some counseling if you think it will be helpful in letting you achieve the happiness you DO deserve (you can actually look into online counseling if you think you'd do better with that).
  4. Welcome to you, Arctic. I'm sorry to hear of the sadness and grief you've felt because of the reaction others have had to your deconversion. It can be a tough experience when your friends/family are against you, that's for sure. My hubby and I are in our mid-twenties, married for 6 years with 4 children, and yet we've garnered the comment from at least one family member that, "all young people have to come to the place where they decide whether their beliefs are just those of their parents or not," as if we're just going through a rebellious stage of youth and will eventually come out of it. So I can relate to that point. Yes, I'm sure it was terribly difficult to write. We wrote a similar, "coming out" statement to our friends and families, and it was no small feat to send it to them. You're quite brave. I hope you find plenty of support and encouragement on these forums to get you through this period. There will be a better time, I promise.
  5. Welcome Vyckie! Love your blog, though I've only gotten to read a little thus far. My hubby and I were *almost* quiverfull-ers, though I never totally bought into the mindset. We've got 4 little ones ages 5 and under. I'm so glad that you've found these forums, and look forward to chatting with you.
  6. Welcome Rubyfruit. Your experience must have been an awful one, and I'm glad for your sake that it seems like you've come out on the other side.
  7. Welcome, Crew, and congrats on being such an intelligent and brave person.
  8. Welcome EmmaRose! I can relate to so much of your story. You've been through alot already in 16 years. As a side note, one of my younger sisters, who just turned 18 (finally, yaaay!), sort of accidentally told our parents about her being agnostic a couple of months ago (she was still underage and living at home at the time), and her life became very difficult as a result. So your plan to keep the change in your beliefs to yourself until you're on your own is probably wise. On the one hand I am ashamed of myself for not having questioned my faith when I was younger (I'm 25), but on the other I'm relieved in a way that I didn't have to go through that while living at home. Just smile and nod for the next couple of years, and then you can be free. Enjoy these forums - hope you find them to be a great support and encouragement.
  9. Allowing myself to realize for the first time in my life that the bible wasn't the inerrant word of god, through rational review of the facts, dissolved my faith. I forget which particular scripture it was, but during our deconversion my husband and I were discussing some part of the new testament gospels (maybe in Mark), and the fact that it could not historically be true, and I thought, "If the gospels aren't true, then there's no point to any of it!" There have been many, "supporting" facts and moments since then that have confirmed for me that christianity (and religion in general) is bunk, but since all of christianity is ultimately based on the saving grace of jesus, once that was dispelled there was nothing left in it for me to believe in.
  10. Welcome ashmeg84. Take your time and do your research, and you'll eventually find a greater sense of peace. It may take a long time to fully deprogram yourself, though, if that's the way that you end up going. For me, and for many others it seems, the intellectual discovery of truth came a long time before the emotional acceptance. I've been a deconvert for around 6 months, but emotionally I'm still deeply entrenched in my old christian habits and fears. The fear of hell, the worry about committing sin . . . I don't know if you've been indoctrinated with those concepts for your entire life or not, but I was, and for me it has been a very difficult task to overcome those feelings. I'm still working hard on it, repeatedly rebutting those emotions with the logical truth that my brain recognizes. But if the long-time deconverts in this forum are any indication, with time those negative feelings will fade. Take care.
  11. I really admire those of you who were thoughtful enough at a young age to seriously consider the awful moral implications of god's supposed acts, especially in the old testament. It shames me to think that I just chocked all that human suffering up to, "god's will" for all those years. And nowadays when I think of all the cutesy children's products that are themed around the, "Noah's Ark" story, it just blows my mind - how can we so easily separate the cruelty and inhumanity from our perception of that story, especially as Christians when we actually believed that it happened? And being a loner isn't so bad. I'm not all that great socially, either.
  12. joD

    Hey, LBW, you and I have alot in common! I am a homeschool mom (6 kids) and also very into natural health options. We do reflexology, herbs, etc in our house along with raw foods, etc. Glad you're here!

  13. Abby!! Wow, your childhood sounds like mine! I'm the oldest of 6 children, and I was also homeschooled and super-sheltered for most of my young life by fundy parents (although I should note that homeschooling need not include over-sheltered-ness. I'm homeschooling my own children). I'm also 25, married with 4 children. Hubby and I just deconverted a few months ago (my story is here). I hope you find these forums enlightening and encouraging.
  14. Prysm and Cowagunga, how are things going for you guys, particularly with regards to your families' reactions to your deconversion? Have you managed to meet any nonreligious friends? Still attending the atheist meetups?
  15. Ha-ha - when I was growing up my parents didn't mind Christian rock, and even listened to some of it themselves (though they did start getting concerned when I began listening to secular music in my teens), but I remember one of my childhood pastors condemning even Christian rock, saying, "you can't put God's words to the devil's beat!"
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.