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ashmeg84

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About ashmeg84

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    Curious

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  • Location
    Offutt AFB, Ne

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    No Clue
  1. Hey! Just wanted to say you can send me a message any time if you want to talk/get anything off your chest! I know how it is, being new to this stuff.

  2. I have gone through moments of very real fear of hell as I've gone on this spiritual quest. In conversations with my husband (who is on a similar journey as I am on) when we've come to the point that it seems clear that the Christian doctrine isn't true I have started to almost panic and said that we ought to try to believe just in case it's true so we don't go to hell. He told me that was something called Pascal's Wager and I was surprised to hear that, sat and thought about it and then said- well, it sounds dumb, but we ought to take the wager! And I meant it. I practically begged my husband to take the wager. Now that I'm further down the road of education in this area I've started to realize that hell may actually not be real I'm starting to feel less afraid of it. But then I think "Oh man, the devil must really have a hold of my thoughts!" The above sounds like a brainwashed person to me. I have actually felt like God is lurking nearby feeling very sad and disappointed in me for reading Harris, or Tarico etc. I still feel like I'm doing something very wrong when I type in "exchristian.net". I know that if my mom knew I was going on this site she would chew me out while simultaneously crying in fear for my soul. This makes my quest for truth very uncomfortable, difficult and scary. I wish I felt more freedom to explore. This is EXACTLY what Im going through right now and i have NO CLUE how to get over it
  3. My brain is tired from trying to figure out life, is christianity real, is there a heaven or a hell, which one am i going to, what is faith and why do i have to have it, can I ever stop worrying about doing something wrong, is God punishing me, maybe hes happy that im just trying to figure out my life, maybe he doesnt even care, how do we even know or try to say what hes thinking--hes God, then theres the Bible, hows it different from the Koran, or any other book and how do you know, is it wrong to marry someone whos not a christian, how will I tell my parents, if christianity is real and everything else is wrong--how does a person even justify saying that?, how do we know whats real if theres no evidence, theres faith again, but i dont get it, why is it so necessary to invent something other than whats right in front of our face?? why do we need religion? if it causes so much confusion, i dont want it, but I dont want to go to hell, maybe its a myth to scare people, maybe its real, omg what if i go to hell, is this freaking healthy?? THIS is why im so confused, and so tired of Christianity..this was my life as a child and as a young adult and i am so done with it. And yet it is always there in the back of my head, tormenting me. i dont know what to do or what to think anymore
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