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Everything posted by dB-Paradox

  1. I think a deadly spider bite on his penis, causing an erection just before his death would be perfect! Catholics would perform either dry humping motions, or masturbation motions to honor their lord and savior! And they couldn't diss porn, as it invokes the Lord's Condition! Okay, now it's just getting weird!
  2. I kept my entire CD collection, and occasionally listen to the music. Sometimes the lyrics get in the way of enjoying the music, but for the most part I just think of them as general love songs. At least for the lighter stuff. The heavier stuff is simply ear candy, and half the time I don't even hear the lyrics. Bands like Mortification, Living Sacrifice, As I Lay Dying (which is only "technically" Christian), and Demon Hunter. I personally find it rather petty to worry about a song's message. If I like the music, that's all that matters.
  3. I changed my profile picture to reflect the beard I once had, and am going for again....
  4. The woman in the red dress is for sure real. I don't find it attractive, but I'm sure someone does. And even if no one else in the world does, as long as she's happy and true to herself.
  5. As a Christian, I was heavily against gay unions and abortions. My attitude toward the gay community started to change while I was still Christian, and I am still very passionately pro-life.
  6. of course their Jesus didn't have as epic a beard as the one I had and am going for again. So maybe they're just jealous! ha!
  7. I think I've found another group of people who get heavily criticized for a change in their life. Hi, my name is Dan and it's been a really long time since I've posted anything here. In the past, we've seen adults afraid to tell their parents, spouses, or other family and friends about their deconversion. It seems to be a common theme. Fear of telling loved ones that you're no longer a Christian. It's also been pointed out that this is bullshit. We shouldn't have to feel like children afraid of wrath from our parents when we did something wrong, simply because we no longer believe. And when we do say something, we often get people trying to talk us out of our "brainwashed" thinking, or ask us why we are so angry with the god they believe is going to send us to hell simply because we're not convinced he exists. Lately, I've been a part of a forum that puts a group of people in the heavily criticized category for making what I feel is a mild change...growing a beard. The men on that forum hear it from their spouses, parents, and other family and friends how much they don't like the new beard. They'll get questions like, "Is this your mid-life crisis?" or comments like, "You look like a terrorist!". Generally, clean shaven men who decide to grow a beard get somewhat terrible treatment from the people they love for making a personal choice, and a rather mundane one, at that! My wife has never liked my beard. Many others have said the same thing, telling how upset their wives were when they told them they were going to keep the beard, even after the wife asked them to shave it off. I get jokes from my mom that she will shave it off one day. My wife chimes in and says she'll do it while I'm asleep! Of course, they're joking but it does tell how much they hate it, aside from them actually verbalizing how much they hate it! Why should a man have to constantly get hounded simply because he wants to grow a beard? Why should an apostate get hounded simply because the evidence of a deity is seriously lacking? It seems to me that people will complain about anything and everything, especially when change is involved. Perhaps apostates to the Christian faith are a small group of a much larger sample of groups of people who get harassed for not living up to someone else's expectations. No matter...when we make waves, we challenge others. So keep making waves and don't be afraid to tell loved ones you no longer believe. Because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter!
  8. I don't see the point of mocking a person, but I do still make jokes about the belief. Parody stories and such. It's not out of anger, hatred or rebellion, as some theists have pointed out they believe it is. But rather it's because I like humor, and I don't see why religion should get a free pass.
  9. Had a dream last night that my wife and I were fighting, and I got a phone call during the argument from someone from this site! A woman. She told me she had bad news for me. My account was in poor standing because of a complaint from my wife that I had used a picture without her permission. The woman then told me that she understood, and had heard of this kind of complaining before. I told her she must get it a lot, and she said she did. Atheist spouses getting harassed, even threatened by Christian spouses. She then told me she would do whatever it took to clear things up! There must be a message in this dream....lol
  10. What you're really doing is asking for positive thoughts. I think it's okay. Prayer may not work, but knowing that someone cares does. Asking them to pray for you, and hearing them say, "Of course I will!" sends positive vibes throughout your body.
  11. Porn is not intended to have a relationship with the people on screen any more than watching Indiana Jones is. Having sex, likewise, is not only meant to feel loved nor is it the only way to show love. And swearing AT or TO people is not a nice thing to do, but swearing in and of itself is fine.
  12. Read lots of books, and be comfortable with what you believe. Christians will often try to plant that seed of doubt, and if you're not firm in your reasons for not believing, it's going to be difficult dealing with people who's main goal is to convert you.
  13. The one thing that really bothers me is what Christians think is sin. Things like sex before marriage, same sex relationships, porn, swearing, etc.... For the most part, I don't think these things are wrong in the least bit. As long as it's not hurting anyone and it's legal, I think all is fair game. Of course, this will only instill in a Christian even MORE that ex-Christians are choosing a life of sin without consequence. So, below is a made up dialogue between a Jew and a Christian to show just how ridiculous "sin" is: What are you eating? A ham sandwich. Do you want one? You should be ashamed of yourself! That's disgusting! You say it like you're proud, or something. What are you talking about? It's just a sandwich. A HAM sandwich! You don't see anything wrong with that? Ummmm, no. Oh, so I suppose you're wearing a polyester shirt, too! Yeah, I think it is, why? What's the big deal? It's only a shirt! You are SO disgusting! No wonder you reject the Jewish faith! You just want to live in your sinful ways! You want to live a morally corrupt life with no consequence! What??? I live a morally GOOD life. Just because you think there's something wrong with eating ham and wearing certain clothes doesn't mean it actually IS wrong! It's not a sin! It IS a sin, and not because I say it is, but because G_D says it is! You mean GOD? Now you think it's okay to slander the name of G_D! You are such an evil person!!! You are living a life of sin and rebellion, and you don't want to admit it! The devil has you good! Can you imagine an actual conversation like this? How silly it would be! But in all actuality, there are many things Christians do that Jews feel are sinful, while the Christian feels no remorse for doing them. This is exactly how I feel when Christians tell me that swearing is a sin, or that porn is evil. Sin is an imaginary disease invented to sell you an imaginary cure.
  14. I'm glad I'm not in your shoes, par! Asked almost DAILY? I'd be on a killing spree by now! lol
  15. Yes, choice is not always immediate control, but sometimes it is getting long term tools.
  16. A desire to be honest is really what compelled me. I didn't want to hide anything, which it felt I was. But after I told people, some were asking me why I needed to say anything at all, insisting I had some kind of an ulterior motive. I suppose a hidden motive might have been a desire to be true to myself, as well as to them. Now, I tell no one unless they ask me "why aren't you in church anymore?" However, telling people initially was the stepping stone needed to get to the place where I am now. Now, after having seemingly contradicted myself half a dozen times, I need to eat! lol
  17. Looking back, I wish I had said nothing, and rather waited until people came to me. But that's just me. Having said that, I think telling people is a good thing, and helps the process of deconverting. Plus we should not have to be silent!
  18. If your dad is still alive and not really a part of your life, I think that's even a sadder story. Sorry to hear about that.
  19. I always had a hard time believing in an eternal afterlife. The concept was too difficult, even if it was reassuring. Having said that, I personally see no reason to find comfort in believing that we will see our loved ones again, and that we will leave one realm, and enter another. It may not be true, but it may also be a coping mechanism that some people need. I sometimes find myself embracing such a philosophy.
  20. Thanks, madameX. I don't consider myself particularly resilient or strong. After all, I barely remember anything from those years. This is more my mom's story to tell than mine. I do realize that my brain will have stored all that information, and it will have ultimately shaped how I view life in later years, but I can't FEEL one way or another about my dad. I can, however, feel one way or another about the STORIES of my dad. And to be completely honest, I still have fantasies about going back in time and meeting my dad, picking a fight with him, and laying him flat on the pavement! But what does that serve? It only makes the 4 year old inside of me a little more scared...scared of ME! Then, I imagine going back in time and meeting my dad, having him pick a fight with me, and just standing there as a man of steel, as his punches only end up hurting himself, as his knuckles start to bleed, and he eventually runs off in humiliation. Now THAT serves me better! As far as your father, were you a part of his life for a long time? I think that makes a huge difference in how you will think of him. I only had four years with my dad, and they were my first four years, so I can remember only bits and pieces. You may have a much harder time forgiving your father due to knowing first hand what he was like. I'd probably be in the same boat as you if my dad were alive today, or even if I knew him into my teen years. As far as your son goes, I think genetics is a wonderful thing as time goes by. Not to mention that your son is a creation between you and your partner, and has very little to do with your father, unless of course you worry that you carry much of your father's shitty genes that will have been passed on to your son. All you have to do is ask yourself who you are most like...your mom or your dad. And I think this was my saving grace. I am more like my mom, and on through my mom's side of the family (not only do I look more like them, but I also act more like them). I have *some* of my dad's genes, but not predominantly. My daughters will have some of my genes, and some of my wife's genes, and my dad's genes may be hidden somewhere in there, but they are much more diluted. I don't think you will have to worry about your son, unless you worry about yourself. As far as your last paragraph, I had to look up perspicacity! lol Thanks for all your kind words, and I may very well indeed write a story. I have a ways to go first. I just changed my last name of Facebook to reflect my dad's to help along the closure process. (I was later adopted by my mom's new husband, a REAL dad to me!) To show the genetic link between my mom and my dad and I, and my mom and dad and my brother, I'll attach two pictures. The first one is of me, my mom and my brother respectively, all about the same age. The second one is between me, my dad and my brother, also about the same age. You'll quickly see how much I've taken after my mom, and how much my brother has taken after my dad.
  21. I think you are bang on! There's definitely some truth to the statement, "I come from a long line of _______________"
  22. I've also wondered what my life might have looked like if I could have gone back in time and killed him myself just after I was conceived, thereby not ever being subjected to his abuse. But then there's the genetic angle again...
  23. I'm thinking they will, but it's going to be a bit of a road ahead....
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