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About Non-Redneck

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    Strong Minded

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  • Location
    Houston, Texas USA
  • Interests
    Hiking, Outdoors, Lindy Hop, Swing, Reading, History, Foreign films, Eating Asian food, Tai Chi, Meditation, Gardening, Anime, Sleeping

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
  1. IntoxicatedTigerJay, When dealing with Christians (or religious people in general), always have a witness. Christians are dishonest to the core. Their evil knows no bounds.
  2. You and me both. Fortunately, I've gotten better at spotting when people are trying to screw me over since I left.
  3. Whybaby, Vineyard? Ouch! You have my sympathies. One of the churches I went to was not a vineyard church per say, but it was strongly influenced by them. I can only imagine the mental bullshit you had to endure there.
  4. I'm sure I developed mental issues. How much of them remain is uncertain. One of the mental issues included my ability to interact with people and relate to others. I suffered greatly in that department. However, now that I am aware of the problem, I can take steps to correct it. I first had to acknowledge that something is wrong with me and while I am not be at fault for what happened to me, it is now my responsibility to take action to fix what I can. It is taking time, but I can sense some difference. I think I am doing better in the relations with people department. I now no longer need to fear people as agents of the devil. My circle of acquaintances is slowly growing, I'm getting out more, trying different things, making an effort to be sociable in a non-fundie manner which agrees with my personality type. I've read in psychology books on fundamentalism Christianity that leaving and recovering is like recovering from divorce, rape or PTSD. So I know I've got an uphill battle ahead of me. Maybe it's my personality, but I am determined to win. I will not let those fucking Christians beat me. I will recover as much as possible and defeat the destruction they brought upon me. Maybe establishing to win to recover should be your first step? I do not think you can begin to recover until you have the will to do so. Perhaps that should be you first focus. As a side note, I would recommend a healthy diet as food greatly influences my mood and well being.
  5. That's good. I think I've let go of most of my anger. I still get pissed off from time to time when I think of this stuff. From my point of view, it's best just to live life. That is the way to defeat Christianity. And you're right, in Christianity we were never taught to care. I looked at people like objects to convert. I find I treat people better now that I have left Christianity.
  6. That's nothing. I once made a casual remark to my college pastor at the time that I thought this girl I meet a church function was cute. And he asks me if I plan to marry her. WTF? I should have known something was wrong when I heard that.
  7. Glad you got out relatively early. Enjoy your freedom and a life apart from all that BS. Somewhat ironic isn't it? The Xians say that Jesus will bring life, but in actuality all he does is bring death. It's rejecting Jesus and Xianity that brings life.
  8. I don't think most of us walked away cold turkey. If I've implied that, it certainly wasn't intended. For most of us, it's a journey. The walking away was preceeded by months or years of pain, searching, doubting, praying, and other Christian garbage.
  9. Not really. There was stuff I attributed to backlash (e.g. from demons), but now I see how silly that was. Any backlash never really happened, it was probably one of several things. It could have been normal stuff going wrong in life (life isn't perfect, stuff does go wrong). I also suspect that since I mentally expected a backlash from "Satan", I may have subconciously created the problems myself. Evangelical Christianity also produced a persecution complex within me that caused most anything bad to be attributed to the working of "Satan" and persecution by the world. God d@mn fundies. It took me a while to get accept that bad stuff just happens, and it's not the devil! It's a part of life!
  10. Yarrow, Your anger is part of the process that I would say everyone who deconverts goes through. I still get angry from time to time, but for the most part I have gotten past it. It takes time; in my case, a lot of time. After all, your sense of reality has been altered. You realized that you've been lied to, betrayed, and had your mind filled with Christian BS. Your anger is only natural. You comment about spiritual warfare made me think HAH! I remember doing that sh*t. Getting on my knees, crying, speaking out against demons, waging war on "the enemy" (Satan). I swear that anybody who saw me must have thought I was insane (and I don't blame them). So you're not alone, plenty of people got suckered in that sh*t as well. Now I just try to look back and laugh at it.
  11. Indeed. I also concluded that if this sh*t was true, then why does it take all this work to prove that it's true? After all, isn't the Christian gospel supposed to be simple (according to Paul at least)?
  12. Paradox-db3 and I Love Dog, I have a similiar attitude. Since I left Xianity, I've become a lot less judgmental towards people. I can still feel the Catholic/Fundie programming within me sometimes, but I actively suppress it. After leaving the religion, I became repulsed by the judgmental attitude that Xtianity had on me and how I had treated people. In accordance with my new attitude of treating people like human beings, I dropped the judgmental attitude.
  13. I would be curious to know what pastors actually thought of their congregation behind their backs. I can imagine some pastor laughing all the way to bank with the collection plates.
  14. In the interest of brevity, I have decided to write a short introduction. I could write pages (as we probably all could), but this should hit the major points. Christianity is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I wish I had never heard the name of “Jesus”. I was raised Roman Catholic and endured Catholic brainwashing until my last year in high school. I converted to hardcore KJV-only fundamentalism for about a year until I went to college. In college I went evangelical for about 2 years. During my evangelical years I also attended a “Messianic Jewish” synagogue (actually just Baptist junk wrapped in Jewish liturgy). I wasted a good deal of my time reading apologetic works, reading junk creation science, praying, “witnessing” (trying to convert people) and going to church during my Christian years. Not to mention the waste of money. I prayed several times daily, spoke in tongues, and studied the Bible almost every day. My life was almost 100% religion. I even learned Hebrew (I don’t regret this one because I like the language and continue my studies even after my deconversion). I had some hobbies outside religion but not many, and those I had usually involved a church group. I cut non-Christians off from me; pissed off everybody I formerly knew by trying to convert them. What triggered my leaving was the disconnect between reality and what the Bible said should happen. All the “fruits of the spirits” never happened. I felt guilty and fearful almost every day. Yet, I’m being blamed for this (it’s never “God’s” fault, right?). I was doing what was required, yet “God” wasn’t holding up his end of the bargain. Asked for an answer, never got one. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and one day just left. No planning. Just stopped going to church. Fortunately no one really bothered me when I left. Some not very religious Christians I knew in that group mentioned that people were praying for me. Whenever I saw a member from my former group, they either acted hostile or acted like I was some evil creature that was going to eat them. But man, did Christianity f--- me up. I had my sense of interacting with people destroyed (due to viewing them as items to convert and not as human beings), almost no friends then, and no support network. My sense of reality was totally messed up. Yet I could not heal myself. I did manage to finish college with a lot of anger and resentment (not to mention ignorance of reality). I moved to a new city and tried to get on with my life. Several years after I moved, I went back to Christianity. I did not go to church, but I did stuff on my own. I tried to reconcile Christianity with science. I studied Christianity trying to understand Jewish customs. I read more apologetics books. Yet the more I dug into it, the worse it became. I found I was making excuses for most everything. I was still wasting my time trying to prove Christianity was right, devoting massive time and effort. But reality and science did not agree with Christianity. At this point, I decided it was bull****. I decided that I was doing all the work, receiving no answers, wasting my life. I do not regret going back to Christianity the second time. It gave me the closure I needed. I finally understood why it was wrong and why I was wasting my time with it. I really don’t have any major problems with my parents. My mom would like for me to be Catholic again and still does the Catholic prayer junk. However, she doesn’t treat me like an outcast, though tensions do exist. It has taken me 12 years to get to this point where my confidence, where the anger has nearly died. About 95% of my life to date has been f***ed up by Christianity. I consider myself “clean” for about 1 year. I know that I am not completely healed, and will probably never be completely healed. However, I have made significant progress. I no longer kick myself about it; try not to dwell on Christianity. I am simply moving on, socializing more, trying to make new friends, and trying some new stuff, and trying to be happy. That is the best way to defeat Christianity.
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