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I Broke Free

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Everything posted by I Broke Free

  1. I can remember one time when my dad actually did explain something to me like Calvin’s dad. Sometime around 1965 when I was five years old. We were on a family vacation and driving around dusk when noticed a very tall red and white metal tower. [A radio transmission tower] I asked my dad, “Dad, what is the red light for on top of the tower for?” His response “It’s to keep aircraft from hitting the tower at night.” My follow up question “What is the tower for?” and my dad’s response, “It holds up the red light.” I bought that answer and did not question if for a number of more miles.
  2. Should people who eat well, exercise, and generally live a healthy lifestyle pay more in taxes to pay for their extended use of Social Security? It is a lifestyle choice that costs everyone else more money. Right?
  3. Hi Hoju, another gay ex-Christian here. A forum member asked me to check out your post. I doubt I fit your criteria either. I grew up in a family that was not religious at all but I decided to seek out the Mormon Church at the at the age 16 because I thought a conservative religious experience would “straighten” me out. I went on my own to the church for two years until I graduated from high school. To be perfectly honest the members of the church were very nice to me. I was experiencing extreme inner turmoil regarding my sexuality and going to church only made matters worse. But I knew I was in control of my life and could leave without incident whenever I wanted. When I did stop going right after high school graduation my parents were pleased and the church members only reached out once or twice in a non-threatening manner. I wish you luck finding the right person to talk to. I wish I could recommend someone from this forum, but I rarely post anymore and don’t know the members like I used to.
  4. Gods lil angel?? How many gods are we talking about?
  5. Hi BeyondReligiousity I like the dissertation style myself. We get a much better picture of the whole story. I have been a member here for 13 years and never tire of reading the testimonies. Yours was well thought out and engaging. Thank you. Welcome to our world. If you read long enough you will find posts that will speak directly to you and your experience. When I came here in 2003 I had already left Christianity behind 25 years earlier when I was only 18. I came to this site by accident and found myself staying. While I thought my break with religion was something in my past; I learned through reading posts here that I was still carrying a lot of resentment that I needed to purge. It took a while, but it worked. In fact, many reading this post today may not even know who I am as I post so seldom now. Eventually even the fact you left Christianity become a non-issue in your life. That is where I am now. Welcome to you I Broke Free
  6. I have worked for ten years in the accounting department of a huge mutual fund company in New Hampshire. The topic of religion never comes up at all. I know that New Hampshire ranks near the bottom of church attendance in the nation so I suppose that has something to do with it. I have never heard of anyone mentioning what faith they are or what church they go to so I suppose religion to most here is just a big…Meh..Whatever. I love it. Outside of work the only people I know who go to a church are several of my gay male friends. “Oh you really should come. This church is really gay affirming.” I have let them know that I have no desire to go and that I don’t hold their belief, but part of me just wants to scream! “What’s The Matter With You!”
  7. Same here, I gave up Facebook completely. It became impossible to try and limit access to some family members without all the others finding out about it. My brother’s family is Mormon, and the rest of us are secular. Surprisingly it was politics and not religion that caused 95% of the friction. It was hard a first to keep my Facebook account closed. It was the third time about two years ago when I finally broke the cord for good. After a few weeks you began to wonder what was so interesting about Facebook. I still keep in touch with all my family members and the discussions are now civil. I work for a huge corporation and I fairly certain they monitor their employee’s internet activity. After Facebook, I have cancelled my Linkedin, and YouTube accounts too. So far the transition has been painless. i got rid of my Linkedin too after i noticed someone from my work had had a quick look at my profile- got rid of it straight away. Isn't this the point of Linkedin? I got it for future work while doing my masters....believe me no one in my current work needs to be looking at my profile. That was my feeling too. I am 54 years old and plan on working for the same employeer until retirement. I see no reason to have a Linkedin account. I see only the drawbacks and no benefits of maintaining it.
  8. Same here, I gave up Facebook completely. It became impossible to try and limit access to some family members without all the others finding out about it. My brother’s family is Mormon, and the rest of us are secular. Surprisingly it was politics and not religion that caused 95% of the friction. It was hard a first to keep my Facebook account closed. It was the third time about two years ago when I finally broke the cord for good. After a few weeks you began to wonder what was so interesting about Facebook. I still keep in touch with all my family members and the discussions are now civil. I work for a huge corporation and I fairly certain they monitor their employee’s internet activity. After Facebook, I have cancelled my Linkedin, and YouTube accounts too. So far the transition has been painless.
  9. Welcome unbuckledreads We have a number of lgbt forum members here, me included. I discovered this site 11 years ago and never tire of it. Enjoy yourself and welcome. IBF
  10. My husband was born and raised in Fresno (1967-1985) . ...My heart goes out to you; what a tragedy.
  11. Today was the first time I read this thread; riveting from beginning to end. There was so much I could relate to in my own life. I have a Mormon identical twin brother whose religion has always put a wedge in our relationship. However in the past few years it is his political obsessions that are much more difficult to endure. Somehow a mind primed for religious indoctrination is wide open political indoctrination as well. There remains no room for discussion or debate in his mind for either his faith or his politics. Stamp, thank you so much for sharing the story and for updating the thread with your friend’s current condition; my thoughts are with you today. IBF
  12. It must be because of my demographic but half the ads I see are for men with low testosterone and broken dicks. I am sick of all of it. If you can’t get it up for your wife or girlfriend try getting a boyfriend….I’m 53 years old and still getting on just fine. NOT A PET PEEVE…Everyone has driving pet peeves, but I would just love to have some kind of light on the top of my car that would indicate the following….”I AM SO SORRY! I HONESTLY DID NOT SEE YOU AND THIS IS ALL MY FAULT” I think most of us wish we had that at times. If you are going into the left lane to pass a slow truck on the right, at least keep your original speed or preferably go a little faster to pass the slow truck. Why slow down to crawl relative to the truck and then speed up again once you pass? I have been stuck behind cars that take forever to pass a truck and then when they get back in the right lane will go like bat out of hell. What’s up with that? If you are walking down a narrow corridor keep to the right (at least in North America) so others can pass. If you are in a narrow corridor and you are with friends don’t walk slowly three abreast. I work in a huge building with 3200 people and I am amazed at how slowly people can walk and still remain upright. People who cannot drive around a bend in the road without crossing over the line. Getting stuck behind someone who feels that you should be traveling 30mph at the end of on an onramp to an Interstate Highway where everyone is going 70mph. Tailgaters: (1) Tailgaters that suddenly lose their nerve to drive fast when I pull over and leave them at the head of the pack. They seemed more than willing to push me into the position of getting a ticket! (2) If I am driving 10 miles over the limit in the left lane and you come up behind me and tailgate I will pull over to the right when I can! Don’t even think about trying to make me drive even faster so I can pull over sooner. I WILL SLOW DOWN and pull over to the right behind the cars in the right lane if you do. Because of one douche-bag back in the early 1980s (Remember the Tylenol scare?) I have to deal with tamper proof packaging. UGH! I miss the only days when you did not have deal with that crap.
  13. You alreadyexplained WHY it was immoral. The fact that they cannot accept a secular non-faith-based answer is not your problem. The same thing that prevents most of us from doing it....the legal and social consequences. God played no role in the decision at all. If God’s disapproval really affected your decisions then you would not even lie or take a pen from the office...but you do.
  14. Many Christians can't fathom the idea that two people of the same sex actually love each other. My sexual attraction the same sex is not nearly as strong as my romantic attraction. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and the frequency of our sex is probably the same as the average for heterosexual couples. But guess what! I love him more now than I ever have. As long as we sleep together and I can hold to that nice warm body at night, I am satisfied.
  15. I thought that was odd too. I saw these films about ten year after they were produced and lived in the same area of So Cal. I can assure you that no kid I knew EVER got in the car of a stranger. It was unheard of.
  16. This was shown in my 5th grade class in 1970. It was made by Sid Davis, we watched A LOT of his made for school films. They were made in So Cal, and since I grew up there we watched them all. This particular one I remember well because the year before in 4th grade I realized I was attracted to other boys. I knew enough to keep that to myself. After watching this film I was scared senseless. The older man was described as a "homosexual" not a pedophile. After watching it I was convienced that I would grow up and be attracted to boys. I hate this film. It can seem funny now, but it did a great deal damage to young gay boys who watched it. IBF
  17. I joined the Mormon Church just before my junior year in high school. I spent two years in the church and left right after graduation. It was worst two years of my life. I was a scared gay kid desperately searching for something, but I did not know quite what it was. However I have never blamed the Mormon Church or the wonderful people I met there for my misery. I cannot recall one time where I was not treated with open arms and decency. I have fond memories of everyone I spent time with and the wonderful outings the high school boys went on together. I don’t recall any scandals, any backbiting, any rumors, or anything unseemly. My atheism has nothing to do with the people and everything to do with the message.
  18. I hope to see in my lifetime a president that takes the oath of office without placing his hand on anything and does not end with "so help me god." Just like the Constitution states.
  19. Many American Christians make the claim that “Atheism is a Religion” because if true it puts secular ideas and proposals on a equal legal footing with religious ones.
  20. 1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My parents were not expecting twins and had to come up with a name in a hurry. (I was Twin-B. My mother had just finished watching the late 1950’s TV Show “Dennis the Menace” and thought the actor was cute. My name is Dennis. 2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 1997 When my mother died. 3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No, I can’t even read it. 4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Slices off a spiral cut ham 5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? None...I am absolutely sure of that. 6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes, I find my interests totally fancinating. 7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes, way too much. Sarcastic comments pop in my head constantly and I don’t want them to go to waste. I have magnet on my cubical wall at work stating “My Soul Was Removed To Make Room For All This Sarcasm” Really. 8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? My tonsils were removed at the age of two (Along with my twin’s) The doctor really hollowed out the back of my mouth. I inhale food particles all the time and choke. 9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Never, never, never. My balls pull up into my chest just watching it on TV. 10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. 11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Always. 12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? No. I worked out once in 1992, I don’t get it. 13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Hagan Daaz Swiss Almond Vanilla. 14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Whether they are male or female 15. RED OR PINK? I am not a fan of either. Yellow please...nice and cheerful. 16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Going totally Anderson Cooper gray in my early 30s...and having psoriasis. 17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My father died in 2002. I miss him all the time. . 18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST? I need to remember that I don’t always have to say something.. 19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Dark blue house slippers 20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Generic Special K cereal. 21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The small fan at my home office door. 22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Green. 23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Pinto Beans and ham simmering all day. 24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU? Not very. Nothing ever changes. (Keeping this one, it suits me too) 25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE? My family room...I hate traveling. I spend the time wishing I were home. 26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? The only sports I have ever watched on television are male gymnastics and male swimming in the Olympics. 27. HAIR COLOR? Anderson Cooper....Minus the good looks. 28. EYE COLOR? I have two very bright blue eyes. I get comments on them all the time. 29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Never. I wear bifocals most of time. 30. FAVORITE FOOD? Pie. 31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Very Happy Endings 32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Limitless..It has Bradley Cooper in it....Need I say more? 33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Grayish Plaid. 34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Hot Hot Humid Stinking SUMMER!. 35. GAY OR STRAIGHT? Gay. 36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Pie....I love pie. 37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO? I lift pie to my pie hole. 38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION? Television. 39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I just finished “The Hobbit” yesterday. I give it a six. 40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Yosemite Sam 42. FAVORITE SOUND? Rain on a metal corrugated roof 43. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I have been told my taste in music mimics that of most 13 year old girls. 44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Hawaii and Paris. 45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Cookie baking 46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Santa Ana Community Hospital. Santa Ana CA, June 1960 47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW? Fremont, NH USA 48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE? Some kind of off white crappy color. 49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR? Very dark gray, Looks almost black. 50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS? Yes, I do..especially when they are about me..
  21. I lasted only two visits with a Christian consoler back in 1978 when I was 18 years old. I was trying to “Pray the Gay Away” and thought he might be helpful. He came very highly recommended. On the second visit he spent the whole session trying to tie my homosexuality with some sort of sexual abuse I must have had as a child. It was clear he was expecting some kind of story regarding my father. He became very annoyed with me when I did not have anything for him. My father was a saint, the best dad anyone could hope to have. I never went back. If he had started on some other line of investigation I may have been stuck seeing him for ages. I am thankful he put me off so quickly. No one is going after my dad, no one!
  22. I'm the same. I think it probably comes down to childhood experiences. If you had good memories, those feelings get anchored for life. That's how it is for me. My best friend used to tease me about my family, calling my parents the Beavers. I think we share that in common Vigile. My childhood home was certainly more modest and my mom never wore pearls, but the home atmosphere of Cleavers was akin to mine. I nad no idea I was so lucky having the parents I did. I took it all for granted and those 1950's TV shows made me believe everyone grew up like me.
  23. I still like Christmas. Really. I don’t have any unpleasant personal baggage surrounding the holiday. My parents were not religious and the season was a time of secular Christmas songs, decorations, foods, and even the annual broadcast of The Wizard of Oz and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. My parents always made it a fun and wonderful holiday for their three kids. Today my husband and I celebrate Christmas the same way we celebrate Thanksgiving. We just have more decorations and use a different color scheme. We have never exchanged gifts with each other and I have not had to buy a Christmas present in over 20 years. I have let everyone in my family know that I do not participate in the part of the tradition. They seemed more than happy to have someone removed from their list. My parents are gone now and my twin brother and sister live far away and have families of their own to concentrate on. I don’t have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings by declining an invitation and there is no expectation that they will be invited to my home. I am free to make the holiday whatever I want it to be. It ain’t Christmas at my house until I hear Jose Feliciano sing ‘Feliz Navidad’ on the radio. There is something about that song that always puts me in the right frame of mind for the holiday. IBF
  24. My parents have passed on; my sister and her partner live 3000 miles away and spend the holiday with their daughter. My brother and his family live 1500 miles away and have a little Mormon Fest that I appreciate never being invited to. That leaves me and my husband alone on both Thanksgiving and Christmas (all of our friends spend it with their families). I LOVE IT! We roast a chicken or have a spiral cut ham and have a nice quite holiday. Christmas is just another Thanksgiving with a different color pattern on the table. We have never exchanged gifts for any event. We buy thing together, and never during the holiday season. The only things worse than the presents I have received in the past are the presents I buy other people. I will never fall into that trap again.
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