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dichotomy

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dichotomy last won the day on February 11 2016

dichotomy had the most liked content!

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About dichotomy

  • Rank
    Skeptic

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    UK
  • Interests
    photography, philosophy, anthropology, music, art, writing.
  • More About Me
    not much more to say

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Non yesterday, non today, non tomorrow.

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  1. I wouldn't allow what your brother thinks, says or does to influence or determine your own thoughts, beliefs or actions in any way. He is himself, you are you. And whilst it is impossible to detach ourselves from those around us, using one person as a reason to decide *anything* is rather pointless. I'm not sure why people are saying he's a sociopath from what you've said, unless you've spoken of him more before? It definitely sounds like he has allowed his anger, fear, hurt and experiences when within the church to take over him just now and he is demonstrating a great deal of unpleas
  2. back to a vague sense of balanced normality. ;-)

  3. It was like a small, privately owned/run zoo/animal sanctuary, and they had an underlying creationist tone to it. So much of the information wasn't about evolution etc. They even had a large model of Noah's ark and how they really believed it would have looked etc. etc.
  4. I'm fantastic at being diplomatic and just tend not to voice these things, or do so *very* carefully. My partner however really struggles and has been a bit inconsiderate, OTT, outspoken and occasionally just a dick about it. It means he's rubbed people up the wrong way and they are now less likely to listen when he *does* make a sound argument or have a valid reason to say things. I'm talking about years ago now, in the beginning, he is very different now, barely talks about faith or religion at all. Having said that, he has never really shared memes or been ridiculously vocal about thin
  5. So glad to hear that things are quite positive at the moment, but goodness me what a fascinating and complicated way of being! It's remarkable how you are able to experience, analyse and express all of this so effectively. It really sounds like you're moving forward positively and I hope this continues to be the case.
  6. Totally this! Are you sure they went and *believed* it all? They may just have been interested.... I remember we went to the a christian zoo once, that had a bit of a creationist element to it and even as christians, at the time we giggled away at the ridiculousness of some of the "facts".
  7. This is pretty much exactly what happened for my husband, he was struggling in church, people encouraged him to pray and read the Bible more and voila, it all fell apart from there!! Anyway, I'm pleased for you. Even if there may be a few complications for you all it sounds like things are looking promising, and how lovely to have someone in the family to share your thoughts with.
  8. Our lists are very similar witty. Which isn't a surprised given we're about the same age, female, got married and had children young and both living in the UK? Positives for me: I have some amazing friends who I made through my young church days - some who have also lost faith and therefore understand me very well. I have a husband whom I love and, despite all our challenges, conflicts and difficulties, is very well suited to me. We have also shared our experience of faith and loss of faith together. I have lived and experienced life from two wildly different perspectives and
  9. Hi, sorry to hear about your struggles. For me, the important thing was not to think about if my friends were Christian, church goers, or not, but to look at our friendship and what it was like, what it was based on. My partner and I lost a *lot* of friends when we left the church, we also established that many people who wed considered friends weren't really at all. Not because they disowned us or because of their behaviours, just because we realised that the only thing we had in common was that we attended the same church. However, just this week we met up with two of our closest
  10. Ooo I'm surprised they asked! Not good. I wouldn't bother about not being honest, you were on the spot and you were honest in that you're definitely *not* a practising baptist :-)
  11. Your prayers or not prayers will make no difference to another person's life. You're not putting anyone at risk if you don't pray. If god(s) wish to intervene in another person's life dilemma they will do so with or without your prayer. If praying makes you feel better, then do it, but if you're just angsting and fretting and worrying about prayer, god, faith and religion in general, then that's not a healthy or positive way to be. I'd choose to go down the route that makes you feel the least anxious, the least depressed, the least paranoid, the least powerless, the least helpless
  12. For me this all hinges on the premise that there is such a thing as "goodness". I'm not really convinced there is.
  13. I don't think I could do it. I'm not sure it would help you, it may just make the feelings worse. I think therapy, or talking about these things with non christian friends is probably the way to go. But it could just be that I'm just coming from my " I still can't cope with anything that reminds me of church 10 yrs on" position?
  14. My cousin is still going through her "lesbian phase" that she "started" when she was 17. She's now in her mid 40s. Some of the family still talk about her in the way you describe, behind her back. I think it is very much based on fear, and it is definitely disrespectul. But I don't think it's personal. I just think that some people can't cope with others having a different view to their own, and deal with this by be-littling them.
  15. My husband lost his faith and told me about a month after. I was angry and upset for a few weeks, but gradually started to process it all for myself and finally came to the conclusion that I had also lost my faith about two years later. I have no idea how we'd be or function were I to have lost my faith and not him or vice versa, but many couples do seem to make it work. Best thing for me is knowing that there is not ultimate plan, ultimate goal, ultimate path for me to follow or aspire too. I can write my own story and decide what matters for myself.
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