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Everything posted by older

  1. Cell phone videos taken in portrait format (vertical). (I was a professional cinematographer, so I do know what I'm talking about.) "Your call is important to us so please stay on the line...." FUCK YOU. If my call was really important you'd have enough people there to answer the fucking phone! "This call may be monitored for training or quality control." Bull shit. You're recording it so if I sue you you'll have evidence. Parking lots with lanes that are too narrow. Idiots who don't know how to use the acceleration lane of the freeway onramp. "Easy open" packages that are anything but. Programmers who don't set up databases for those of us who use our middle names! Unreachable toilet paper dispensers. "Help" phone lines with recordings that merely repeat what's in the manual. Listen, you assholes, if I could find it in the manual I wouldn't be calling you!
  2. It's worth noting that Alabama has outlawed abortion because of a reverence for the sanctity of life, but right after that they executed a prisoner. Satirist Andy Borowitz wonders if they'll respect the sanctity of life by banning guns. George Carlin made some good points about abortion and the hypocrisy of those who oppose it. This was in 1996 and it's even more relevant today.
  3. Sarah: Dan makes some valid points above. I think he's made one of the most cogent statements about this so far. Have you thought about just cutting him off? There must be a way you can see your mom without having to interact with him.
  4. Sarah: It's so tough when the dreams we had of a TV sitcom style family prove to be false. I hope you get the relief you are seeking
  5. Well perhaps you'll get another one some day. I lust for one of the Explore Scientific truss tube dobs, but then I also lust for a 6-inch refractor, but for now the 8-inch SCT will have to do. Clear skies!
  6. It's also fear, mostly fear of the unknown, the uncertain, the unpredictable. And the fear that if you leave religion, bad things will happen to you. How to get rid of fear isn't something that would fit into a post on this forum, but once you get a handle on it, you'll be surprised at what a difference that makes. This is where professional (secular) counseling helps.
  7. That's a tough project — explaining the mindset of believers. Keep us posted as to how you go about this.
  8. Having been through a similar situation twice, I would suggest that she is in a state of panic. She will calm down and come out of it, but it may take some time. If she continues to be delusional after a few weeks then I'd get her into a grief group and perhaps some counseling. As anyone who has lost a close family member knows, the notion of "closure" is bogus. We don't just move on. What we do is learn to deal with it. As to the proselytizing and other stuff at the service, the obvious, which you have probably thought of, is to be specific about what you want and what you do not want. And also, under no circumstances have an "open mic" session for folks to share their memories. I've seen this get out of hand and it's hard to control once it's started. I would just encourage folks to share with each other. OTOH if you really want to give folks a chance to contribute, pass out large file cards and have folks write down their thoughts. Then have someone who is in your corner sort through them, picking the ones that are appropriate which can then be read by a moderator (you?). Thus you or the moderator retains control and can end the session when it feels right.
  9. Whew. Hang in there, L.B. What do you want at this point?
  10. Margee is right, R.C. Everyone grieves in a different way; let 'em do the Jesus shit if they need it while you think of other things. Sit near the back or a side door so you can leave if it gets to the point where you can't handle it. No one there would criticize you if you stepped out. (And you don't have to care if they did.)
  11. Sorry about your loss. When our son died we learned that there is grief and there is also trauma. You are most likely experiencing both. It will take a couple of weeks for the panic attacks to subside, and when you are ready you might seek out a bereavement group through a local hospice or similar secular organization. We found that to be of great help. Dump your pain here as often and as much as you wish.
  12. You are one strong woman. And remember, after the rain, the sun always shines.
  13. We've all heard that phrase: "The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it."
  14. That is cool. Something to think about: life as we know it requires water. What if there is a way to have life without water? And if we are finding planets around many stars, and there are about 300 billion stars in our galaxy, and a trillion in the Andromeda galaxy, and we are fairly certain that there are over 100 billion galaxies, it would seem that the statistical probability is that there is life elsewhere.
  15. Sorry it hurts so bad, but glad that you are taking charge. Have you looked at any of the "assertive rights" concepts? It sounds like you have adopted some of them. Here's are links to a couple of them. There are a few differences between them that are worth finding: https://www.mhankyswoh.org/Uploads/files/pdfs/Assertiveness-AssertiveRights_20130813.pdf https://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/articles/a-bill-of-assertive-rights
  16. If you're referring to a critical medical issue or end-of-life decision, put it in writing with the help of an attorney. Be as specific as you think you need to be. Check out the differences between the phrases "Do not resuscitate," and "Allow natural death." And be sure your family knows what you want and where the documents are.
  17. And be sure to research any charity carefully. Online resources include Charity Navigator. Check to see if the charity is a subsidiary of some other group, and look to see what the CEO gets paid. There are some popular ones where the percent of income spent on the actual cause is not as high as you'd like and the amount spent on fundraising and salaries is higher than you might think apropriate. I do not donate to any organization that has a CEO making in the mid to high six figures or more, which eliminates a lot of them.
  18. Some of them are going to need a total multiple lobotomy.
  19. Yes. As long as believers keep it to themselves, there should be no problem. Unfortunately, one of the core tenets of Christianity is to spread the word, sometimes with extreme social pressure or even force. It is important to draw the line when appropriate. The most common example is prayer at government meetings.
  20. Here's a good piece in the WAPO: "It’s time for us to have an unapologetic atheist in the Oval Office" https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/its-time-for-us-to-have-an-unapologetic-atheist-in-the-oval-office/2019/05/08/0f3e0020-6c27-11e9-be3a-33217240a539_story.html?utm_term=.be8e63ca21d0
  21. Yup. Trying to de-convert someone who is not already on the fence is a waste of time.
  22. So many couples think they need to stay together for the sake of the kids. But the kids aren't stupid and they know what's going on. My parents thought we kids would be devastated when they separated but I was elated.
  23. I like this one. I'm reminded of a guy who was chased by some punks in the subway in New York. They were trying to mug him. He had a briefcase and an umbrella. He managed to get slightly ahead of them, threw down the briefcase and then turned and grabbed his umbrella with two hands and pointed the end toward the punks and said, "You may get me, but one of you is gong to get hurt real bad. Which one will it be?" They left.
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