ilovemybrain

And I also remember you @Overcame Faith! Glad to hear from you! Thank you for the friendship and encouragement when I needed it! I and @Eugene39 are happy as heck and so thankful for this site. 3 of my 4 kids are grown and 1 has thought his way out of fundamentalism, so that makes me happy too. We happened upon another “Ex-c” (from this site) in our town who is semi-famous now for an ex-c book she wrote and we were privileged to celebrate our wedding at her beautiful home, and are very thankful to know her. My kids love my husband and love seeing us happy. We have had much fallout

*hugs back* - yeah it's hard to be around people who misunderstand us and see us as a disappointment, so the best answer right now is distance. Sorry you have to deal with that too.

Actually, that is part of our thoughts, too. We are open to that possibility as we get older, if it seems advantageous and pretty clear to us that the relationship will last til the end.

Thank you :-) No, that was my point - although I didn't word it very well. Even ex-C's here who don't even know us but have been through similar experiences, as well as our personal friends who do know us, all seem to see us more clearly than our own parents do, who should know us but don't bother to look past their own preconceived ideas about apostates or ask us how WE feel about anything.

Yeah, our thinking about marriage is this: we are all for a deep, serious commitment and that is what we have, but in our marriages, our spouses felt that commitment meant just 'not divorcing.' They felt we were stuck with them, so they didn't have to do anything to make the marriage work. We both want to know each other is there because they want to be, not because they have to be. And we don't want to be each other's legal "possession" either. I realize others feel differently about marriage and there are some good reasons to consider it, but that's how we see it. And thanks again for t

I hear ya. I'm just really sad tonight about how these relationships we treasured are based on their own mental picture of who they think we are or who they want us to be. So when we admit what we really think, we can't really connect anymore. The way fundy Christianity divides people is just...sad. Hopefully though, you will be able to at least keep things on somewhat of an even keel and not have a major break with them. And thanks for sharing my good cheer about finding someone special

Thanks They're not actually in-laws since we don't plan to officially legally marry, and I haven't met them yet, but it is bound to happen sometime. So much fun to look forward to. <sigh>

I just have to chime in here and say I totally agree with those who have urged you to set boundaries. Because I love my parents and wanted them to hear what I was thinking and feeling, I did sit down and talk with them ONCE. It didn't go well, but I made it clear I was not open to any further debate. There is nothing they could tell me that I haven't heard before. And I knew nothing I said would change their minds. So I just didn't agree to talk to anyone about it other than my then husband. I decided that other than the one talk with parents, (and a brief explanation to my brother) I just did

I'll try to encapsulate some background here, for some of you who don't know my story. I left xianity about 5 years ago, after years of questioning, and realized one day I truly no longer believe. I was married to a fundy and had (still have) 4 children. Fundy parents and husband were shocked and horrified at my unbelief. After a couple years of trying to make my marriage work, I finally divorced. I wanted to move on in life and find love someday and be in a relationship where I'm not looked down on as a colossal disappointment for using my mind and coming to different conclusions. I also want

Oh...you're probably talking about lifespan. I thought you were implying homo sapiens died out. My bad...carry on.