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About Carmen

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  • Birthday 09/25/1992

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  • Interests
    Music, piano, nature, reading, the arts, learning.
  • More About Me
    I started doubting Christianity at the age of 14, and I tried very hard for 3 years to ignore the doubts. I can no longer deny the truth.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Not any that I've seen.
  1. The Elise Dinsmore books were AWFUL! I cannot believe I read and enjoyed them when I was a kid. I think I still have all of the books on my bookshelves upstairs right now. *shudder* It's disgusting how it portrays being a doormat as a good thing. Then again, that's no surprise since the fundies preach that all the time. Last night my sister and I were actually just discussing that scene where she falls off the piano and bonks her head. We had a good laugh over it. A good laugh is about all those books are good for.
  2. Thanks for the feedback. After reading some of the definitions of pro-choice that posters have given here, I'm realizing I may be closer to the pro-choice label than I thought. I believe abortion is immoral and I probably would never get one. At the same time, I don't think that my views should be imposed on everyone else. When I was a Christian, I just accepted the pro-life position on the basis that abortion repulsed me. Now that I've deconverted, I still feel that way, becuase the my beliefs about abortion never really had anything to do with Christianity (seeing as how the Bible doesn't ex
  3. Hear, hear! In my early teens, I read Frank Peretti's "Hangman's Curse" and loved it. Looking back on it, it was basically an evangelizing tool thinly disguised as a teen mystery. Later on I read This Present Darkness and The Oath, but I couldn't really get into them. They just seemed rather insincere, like he was trying to push his message rather than tell a good story. By that time, though, I was starting to become disillusioned with most Christian books and music. My friends still talk about his books all the time. Ted Dekker is another popular author I always hear talked about in Chris
  4. Since deconverting I've changed my views on a lot of social issues: separation of church and state, homosexuality, the role of women, etc. But there's one thing that I still mostly agree with the Christians on: abortion. To me it still seems immoral to kill a potential life. I just have a hard time understanding why so many non-Christians seem to be so nonchalant about abortion. I'm not here to start a big debate, I just wanted to get some feedback on this because I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Did you change your views on abortion when you lost your faith? If so, why?
  5. I've gotten several emails like these. It's incredibly frustrating to try and conjure up a reply to their sincere-sounding yet judging words. However, I don't agree with the people here who think you should just dump the friendship without another word. It's not as if she threatened you or is constantly harassing you about religion. Send her an email telling her where you stand and request that she not talk to you about religion again. It's at least worth giving her a chance.
  6. I think a lot of people go through an "aggressive" phase after they deconvert. When you finally realize Christianity isn't the truth, you feel a lot of anger and you want to "save" other people from their beliefs. But as others have said, this it the same mindset that fundamentalist Christians have. After I deconverted, I went through a period where I actively tried to get people to argue with me about religion. But I got over that and moved on. Now I just prefer to live and let live.
  7. Can a relationship between a Christian and a non-Christian ever work? Am I crazy for thinking it can? This is my dilema right now. I'm dating a Christian who I wouldn't consider a fundy, but he is a regular church-goer and his faith means a lot to him. While he feels kind of torn about dating me, he says that I'm still the amazing person that I was when he first fell in love with me (when I was still an xian), and that my lack of belief in God doesn't change who I really am deep down. He never pushes me to argue about my beliefs or tries to re-convert me and he has accepted that fact that I am
  8. True, but I think his outward display of certainty is kind of a defense mechanism. As was discussed earlier, it's common for those who have doubts to act certain so as to try to convince themselves into believing. I did the exact same thing that he is doing now when I was deconverting. So I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt at this point. We'll see what happens.
  9. Thurisaz, I don't think that's the case. I know this guy well and I would trust him with my life. He wouldn't lie like that. I think what some of you have mentioned about the louder ones doubting more might be true in some cases. I know that the more I doubted, the more aggressive I became about my faith. I am still waiting for my friend's response, and I'm eager to see what he has to say. It would be quite an ordeal if he actually deconverted, as he is in 10X deeper than the average Christian is.
  10. Shortly after my sister's and my deconversions, many friends sent us emails and calls asking if we would like to talk about Christianity. One of these friends was a guy who I used to always look up to when I was a believer because he seemed like such a strong Christian. He was the typical apologetics expert, bible-quoting, right-wing activist, evangelist, fundamental Christian. He is also very intelligent. When he started emailing my sister and I, we expected him to spew up a ton of apologetics and quotes from biblical scholars. He did- at first. After I sent him a particularly long rebuttal t
  11. I can relate to this. I'm not sure if it's fair to blame Christianity completely as these may just be personality traits, but you do bring up an interesting point. In Christian culture there is this big push to be always happy. You turn on any Christian radio station and all the songs will be upbeat, major key songs talking about how god has made us so joyful. Then if a song has any sadness in it, Jesus makes it all better in the end. Negative emotions get pushed away and repressed instead of dealt with in the open.
  12. I've got to agree, Valk. Atheists who claim "anyone who doesn't share my viewpoint is irrational and stupid" seem just as bad as the Christians who claim that everyone who doesn't believe as they do is immoral and deserves to go to hell.
  13. Ironically though, the Bible itself never claims to be infallible. The best Xians can come up with is 2 Timothy 3:16.
  14. Don't let it get to you. The guilt-trips will make you feel low, but you will feel even lower if you compromise your integrity and pretend that you actually believe the ridiculousness that is Christianity. Don't give in. Though my parents aren't as emotionally overbearing as yours, I can definitely relate to what you're saying here. I support a kid in Tanzania through a Christian organization, and he had sent me a letter which had been sitting on the table for a couple of days (I hadn't seen it yet). My mom gave it to me, saying "I don't know if you even care about him anymore, but Iddi se
  15. My creationist father was talking about this last night, and he said that the atheists are just "shooting themselves in the foot" by creating synthetic life because intelligent life created it. In his mind that somehow proves that intelligent life created the universe too.
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