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Freedom from Guilt

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About Freedom from Guilt

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    Art, journaling, singing, coffee, religion, history, philosophy

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
  1. I recently started going back to church with my husband. I used to post a bit on this site last summer but haven't been around much these past few months. I've been wanting to come back and talk about this very subject. I quit going to church in Fall 2010. My husband and I had HUGE marriage problems after my deconversion. We separated Spring 2011. He moved back in July 2011. We continued to downward spiral until late November 2011. We had a major turn around then and our marriage took a turn for the better. I decided to start going back to church to participate with the family. As so
  2. So poignant. Can't wait too see the next installment. Although I agree with Yellow Jacket, i was confused over "Liam" and what happened with him. freedom
  3. love the new profile pic!

  4. Is it possible that on some level she already knows? This may be her way of telling you that she loves and supports you no matter what. Parents have a way of knowing things... ?? Freedom
  5. starts school next month. Separation agrees with me.

    1. asanerman


      Separation felt great after 2 years short of a decade in school! Separation--Oh what a feeling!

    2. ilovemybrain


      Yay! I hope you will enjoy your "freedom" :)

  6. I never left over any of the church bullshit that I witnessed but I witnessed a LOT of it. When I was in my twenties, our pastor of many years retired and after a long search the deacons brought a man before the church. We voted him in and the church then proceeded to eat him up for lunch and threw him out after a year. It was the saddest thing to witness. Anonymous letters, secret meetings and secret petitions, gossip and lies spread to anyone who would listen. Complaints over the color of clothes that the pastor's wife wore, and a holy war over any change, no matter how small. I saw
  7. I was at the beach last week with the kids and I felt the undeniable urge to sing hymns and praise songs. I fought it for a little while and then I just did it and it felt great. LOL. It wasn't connected to any love for God. I can't explain it. At one point I started changing the words around to reflect how I feel about things now and that was fun too. It does release endorphins and I think it's comforting too because it's been so ingrained in me. Glad that you have been getting the help that you need. It's good to "see" you on here! I think it's great that you are playing piano
  8. Wanted you to know that I, too, have had this happen to me. My ex psychiatrist and I got into a theological discussion and he wanted me to know that it was fine if I didn't want to be a fundamentalist Christian but not ok to NOT believe in God. He wanted to know if I was foisting my "atheistic agenda" on my children. That was the last time I saw that asshole. I found a new doctor to get my meds from (my new gp) and that works much better for me AND he did a better job rxing pills and with much less interrogation. AND if things aren't right, I don't have to wait THREE weeks to see him.
  9. Trial separation has turned into real separation. It's for the best. I had a brief moment of insanity and thought things might get better but alas, it is not meant to be.

    1. Galien


      so sorry to hear that :(

  10. Trial Separation starts Thursday. He tried to tell me that he didn't want to leave the house because he cares about the children and I'm only thinking about how this affects me. Nice right? I went postal on him and he changed his tune.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. stryper
    3. MagickMonkey


      That sucks. I hope he really wants to spend time with his kids, but he shouldn't be guilt tripping you.

    4. foolish girl

      foolish girl

      What a dick. Sweet girl- I am so sorry that you have to deal with this.

  11. He said he is disappointed with me. He has to take the kids to church and explain why I won't go. I don't care about teaching the kids right belief anymore (I don't care about ANYTHING anymore was the way he put it) and I won't admit that kids do what their parents do and since I won't go to church, I am setting the kids up for not going to church and that is unacceptable to him. So he's done with our marriage. I am too much of a disappointment to him.

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Margee


      I am so sorry my dear.

      It is so sad when religion does this to a marriage. Maybe, somehow, when things calm down - you can work it out. Hugs for you Today.

    3. Freedom from Guilt

      Freedom from Guilt

      Thank you everyone. His family thinks I've gone mad or something. His mother just found out today that I no longer attend church. My husband's "very concerned pastor" ran into his parents at lunch and let them know all about it. Isn't he kind and concerned? I hate that man.

    4. Freedom from Guilt

      Freedom from Guilt

      Brother Josh- Yes that is the case, from the moment he found out, he's done everything he can to shore up his faith and nothing to shore up our marriage.

      Foolish Girl- I hope your husband has more compassion than mine.

      Galien- He is scared of losing control. This is all about control to him.

      Margee- Unfortunately, it's not going to work out in the future, unless I jump back on the fundie bandwagon. This new and improved me is unacceptable to him.

      Thank you...

  12. Thanks for checking up on me. :) I'm doing what I need to do so that I can have the KEYS to my own life. In the meantime, I'm trying to cohabit with him without killing him. Which is not easy. :) Have an appt today at the local college to discuss a post graduate program.

  13. Freedom, I'm wondering about you. You doing ok?

  14. Ultimatum given. Nothing received in return. Declaration of separation. Met first with resistance, next with uncertainty and finally with acceptance. And all I cant think is, REALLY??? 8 months of pouting, anger and ignoring and then you feel justified in walking away? 15 years of marriage and four children and he doesn't know if he can try because I am the one who changed. We had an intense discussion about why I left the faith. He asked, I did not bring it up. And NOTHING I say means anything to him. He doesn't hear anything I say. He only recognizes that he doesn't know me anymo
  15. I can to Ouroboros! Very fluently! I guess there would be nothing wrong with using it as a form of meditation to calm the brain down? Why let a good 'gift' go? I mean certain people 'chant' don't they? What do you think? I find it soothing. But it holds too much baggage for me to do it on a regular basis. I'd rather just meditate
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