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RachelSkates

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RachelSkates last won the day on December 8 2012

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About RachelSkates

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    Strong Minded

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    Thinking.
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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Toast and Strawberry Jam

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  1. She is crazy. Xianity causes mental illness. Bipolar. How many xers I know who are bipolar! They want the carnal man things, but then they get all crazy because of guilt and shame and then it's you. RUN, man, RUN!! I know how feelings are. I fell in love with an Xer and AGAIN got so mentally fucked. They are crazy unless they are totally rich and comfy (Graham, Robertson). They are good because it all worked out for them. But when you get an xer and something does not work or make sense to them? OMG. NUTSO
  2. I am trying to leave. I am a hostage to my poverty and disability. There is no where to go and no funds to do so. I am disabled and shelters are very bad places for certain disabilities. There is no way out. Praise God for his love, of course. And making me disabled. As my Dad said (who is NOT disabled) "YOu have no right to question how God made you!" What I took from them is irredeemable, like those crazy families on the news.
  3. I was recently beat up by a family member. I sustained a concussion. While on the floor, not one family member came to my aid. After it happened, they went right against the Dr and said I did not have a concussion. No one even told the other person it was wrong to hit me. It had to go to court because I was hurt. I pressed charges and WOW, I WAS YELLED AT! "Who do you think you are?! Are you perfect! (________) is trying to get their life together and now YOU are messing that up!!" Not one person went with me to the hospital . Now it's all chaos. My parents are coming around a bit
  4. Have any of you Lived By Faith and it ruined you? I was born disabled. My familiy conditioned me to live by faith and not logic, so now, here I am , with nothing, alone, bereft of helpers, and a life exactly as you would expect if someone only "LIVED BY FAITH" and did not even know how to prepare. I took many chances. I tried school. I tried working. I even married a man they had prepared for me who was a criminal because he was "God's Gift " to me. But it all failed because I was born with a bad disability. My family has no resources to help me, I have no help, all
  5. Many. I think the worst was that God wanted me to marry a criminal.
  6. I have been fighting this for years. and I have discovered things which impede my recovery. Here they are: 1. I LOVED the delusion. I have lots of delusions because accepting that a man rose from the dead is just the beginning. Then your brain is trained to a phantom that loves you, even when you are being played with by a pedaphilie (true). Then your brain has to go all over the map to try to place that into the Proper Paradigm. When it can't, your brain starts to fill in the gaps and you go crazy. However, when I felt God loved me and all that, yeah, it felt good! I even had be
  7. Good point. It was always a people or a specific person. Then Xers with their ego take that to mean God loves THEM and has a plan for THEM. Makes me sick, literally. It drovev me to madness from which I have never recovered.
  8. It triggered true mental illness in many people. It causes some of us to be delusional and why should it not? The entire premise is a mass delusion. You have to believe someone raised himself up from the dead! Once you get past that, well, the idea that God can do terrible things just cuz is a no brainer. I also have mental lllness from religion only I live in a country where there is almost no mental health care for certain populations. So I cannot get it treated. It is very hard because there is nothing I can do about it.
  9. THank you for that. The dis is bad and takes a lot of effort to manage it. So upand leaving is out. I am filled with rage that I was made this way and double rage because my parents left me to die like this. I left the house once and it took all I had. I had a friend who helped me but they moved. I was BEGGING with tears for them to sell, before the mine got bigger because I had the aquiisiton plan and saw it would be there for 50 years. I told them and begged with more tears than I ever had. Day after day and they just kept that goofy CHristian thing going.....Do you think the Lord will forsa
  10. Thank you guys for the many solutions. It's so hard to live the life I have to live because it's a poor, disabled life in a town with a mine in my backyard, so 600 trucks blasting through every day and cant sell because house value went from like 80 grand to 20. So it's one of those things where you grind through every day. I have to leave the house to get away form the trucks, but my disability makes it hard to leave the house. I have hope of one day moving and that will be the moment I can start to heal. the beds shake and dishes rattle and the deilsel fumes are in the house and the whole li
  11. They are horrendous. Bedbugs, stabbings, threats, you risk your life going in there. And they are rude. Unless you are the class clown and love htem when they treat you like shit.
  12. Hmmm. That is actually an option. Don't know what to do after a month. The trouble with that is that my disabilty is very hard to manage and doing anything to fuck it up is so risky becuase once it's off, it can take months to fix. But I may do that.
  13. Because I was born with a disability and even though shelters say they are dis friendly, they are not. And those that are treat you like shit. Like a nursing home and even worse becase they are not getting paid.
  14. That is not what the trouble is. The trouble is I live in places where I expereince high levels of stress, like a mining operation for one. Can't move. not money, so no sleep etc and makes me sick. Two is that the religious part won't leave and I fear it ........three, no support, no money, no job, no income, no friends, no partner.......family that cannot help, though I love them. Physical illness (neuro and genetic) and truly, I have hung on more than anyone I know would. I have been through it on top of being born diasabled. Abuse by clergy and hten partner abuse and then more and more.....
  15. I live in the US. I do not have any mental health insurance. I tried for over a year and got 5 sessions with a pro bono therapists. When it came to meds, even she could not find me a psychiatrists. There is literally NO mental health care when you have no mental health insurance in US. Parity was a joke.
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