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Eugene39 last won the day on April 26 2012

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About Eugene39

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Eugene is my middle name. I was 39 when I deconverted.
  2. Yeah, he was re-elected. He's been in office since 2008, so it's not like no one knows what he is. The Republican party out here has real problems with white supremacists running on their ticket. The more traditional Republicans that aren't white supremacists do some grumbling about it, but nobody actually does anything about it.
  3. I read it clear through because my SS teacher challenged us to read it through in a year. And it's why I'm no longer a Christian.
  4. My wife is in recovery for alcohol addiction, and was very put off by the 12 step mentality. So she went looking online and found smartrecovery.org (SMART = Self Management and Recovery Training) which is evidence based (rational emotive behavior therapy) and far more empowering than 12 step programs. It is not dogmatic at all, and takes into account the fact that each person is a unique individual and has the power of choice. It has really helped her and given her practical tools to get sober and get her life back on track. You may want to check it out and see if there's anything there that can help you.
  5. Hi Heimer and welcome to Ex-C. I can certainly relate to the fear of hell and am also glad to be over that phase of leaving faith. Just re-reading what you've written, it appears that you are on the way to a healthier you. Recognizing that there are problems is a big step forward. It's good that you are seeking professional help. These things weren't broken overnight and they won't be fixed overnight. A book that was a great help to me when I left about 8 years ago was "Leaving the Fold" by Marlene Winell. There are three sections to the book: sorting it out, healing, and growth. There are used copies available on Amazon for around $20. Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums.
  6. Hi TrueArrow. I gather that the common ground that you and your wife had originally was that you were both praying to find a spouse. Were there other areas of common ground?
  7. We sold that type of grate where I used to work, and had some in the plant that drained water out of the kilns. About once a year, we'd pull them out and clean out the bottom. The outside perimeter is definitely cemented in place. But the grate part itself will come out with some force, like using a crowbar against a piece of wood as a fulcrum. But if it's been a long time since they've been taken out, they tend to bend out of shape before the rust lets go. The lower right part of it in your picture looks pretty well stuck together. So that'll have to be a judgment call. I don't know what the end of this grate terminates to, but another possibility is using a power washer to move the dead leaves along, as long as you're not creating a bigger problem in the end, and clogging something really important. Hope that you can get it taken care of without too much problem.
  8. Unless it's absolutely necessary, I don't know that I would respond. Neither of you are going to change your minds by talking about it. And it appears that she is expecting you to "run away". It's difficult losing your friends. Unfortunately, it's just part of the fallout, and I too wish that it wasn't that way.
  9. Good topic! Ditto for a lot of the Christianity stuff mentioned here. As far as something not related to Christianity, astro-meterology would be high on the list.
  10. Hi ludicrouSpeed. First, welcome to Ex-C. Yes, you have found yourself in a bit of a predicament. I like the idea of marriage counseling, and for me, counseling helped me sort out that there wasn't any future in my marriage. Should your marriage end, it certainly isn't the end of the world. I'm glad that my first marriage ended. It ending meant the end of a whole lot of stress! I will second what mymistake said about not having any children with things being as uncertain as they are for you. Children take up tons of time and energy and if a couple isn't careful, they can drift apart even if they have a good marriage. Adding children to an already shaky marriage is just not a good idea. Best wishes as you navigate through this difficult time for you.
  11. Most went in the trash. There were a couple of books that I was able to sell to a used book store. But I've kept a couple of Bibles, especially the one that helped me deconvert, for sentimental value, I guess.
  12. Eugene39


    If I understand your question correctly, it would be far easier for the "fairly indoctrinated Christian with non-Christian parents in a country where Christianity is a minority" to leave Christianity than it has been for many of us here in the United States. As far as what religion this person is interested in converting to, there's not enough information given to hazard a guess.
  13. The disbelief came first. Then I left church for a couple of months, but went again for little while, simply because it was what the family had been used to. That didn't last long because I was having to go to my "happy place" all the time. Come to think of it, that was 7 years ago!
  14. Eugene39


    Your question totally resonated with me. I am incredibly lucky that I got to date and am now married to an ex-Christian from this board. We don't discuss the aftermath of leaving Christianity as much as we used to, but it is the best thing ever to have someone in my life that totally understands and she has been through a lot of the same crap as me. In both our cases, leaving Christianity has defined how our families and most of our former friends treat us. Obviously, you can't custom order a partner from the universe (although I feel like that's what happened to me), but it sounds like having an understanding partner is important to you. I'm glad that you recognize that, and am hopeful for you that you will be able to find someone in the future perfect for you.
  15. Hi, TinMan. I was raised in very conservative Holiness churches, and much to my parent's dismay, the last church I was in was a Wesleyan church, which was far too liberal for their liking. As you surmised, the thinking is completely black and white. You can lose your salvation at any point by sinning. If you've ever read Pilgrim's Progress, towards the very end of the book, Christian sees a path that goes to hell from the gates of heaven. All you have to do is sin, and if you die before getting right with God, you will not go to heaven. At my mother's very last service that she attended before passing away from cancer, she went forward to the altar to make sure that there was nothing between her and her Savior. As mentioned in a previous comment, sin becomes defined as things that you do wrong that you are aware that you were doing wrong when you did it. And yes, there are people who believe that they have gone years without sinning. I heard a woman testify during a camp meeting service that she had not sinned in 50 years. There is a high priority placed on standards. We did not have television growing up, and the only thing we were allowed to listen to on the radio was the news, Paul Harvey, and classical music. What was called Christian music of today was wrong because it contains the "devil's beat" in it. Dress standards are huge! A man's hair must be short and never follow the fashions. A woman's hair must never be cut, and put in a bun on her head once she gets into her teenage years. My parents kept me away as best they could from some of the kids in our Christian school because they were worldly and wore short sleeves. No jewelry on anyone - even wedding rings are wrong. I could go on, but you probably get the point. The doctrine of sanctification or second blessing is where they derive the idea of living without sinning. A person gets saved, but it is imperative that they soon go on and get sanctified. See Matthew 12: 45, Luke 11:26, 2 Peter 2:20, and Hebrews 12:14. Some of the stricter preachers seemed to believe that while justification was obviously a good step, I often wondered as a kid if I wasn't sanctified whether or not I would go to heaven. I find it interesting that you lumped Pentecostals in with the Holiness group. The group that I was raised in would never believe that a Pentecostal was a Christian, and that speaking in unknown tongues was a sign of demon possession! They base this on the "fact" that others were able to understand their language. Fortunately, I thought my way out of this several years ago and don't even think much about it anymore. So it was interesting in some weird way to reminisce back to the old days.
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