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Eugene39 last won the day on April 26 2012

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About Eugene39

  • Birthday June 27

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    Genetic genealogy.
  • More About Me
    The black sheep of this generation of my family.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    No, God(s) = mirage(s)

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  1. My dad died a little over a month ago. He and I had been estranged since mid-2014. He couldn't grasp the fact that one of his kids had left Christianity, gotten divorced and remarried. Thankfully, on one of his most lucid days, he and I talked small talk for a few minutes, and also told each other that we were glad to hear each other voices again. The next time we "talked", he was not able to talk anymore, but I was able to tell him how much I appreciated the good things ( I prepared a letter ahead of time to read to him) that he had taught me, and done for me. He died a few days later. Due to a completely f---ed up ex-wife situation, I didn't go to the funeral, but went out a few weeks later. I sat by his side in the cemetery and wrote and cried for a couple of hours. I don't know why I'm writing this. Sometimes we have to do things that seem unconventional to others. But it's okay. Trust yourself that you are doing the best you can in the situation that you've found yourself in. Take care.
  2. Hi Jadr. Welcome to Ex-C. First of all, congratulations on thinking your way out before you were 23. That makes me jealous. Yes, it's hard to lose what you've always known, but many of us have had to leave our birth family behind. It's natural for living things to remove themselves from toxic environments. My mind still knows what they think about me, but being physically removed from it is extremely helpful. My experience has been that discussions with family aren't helpful. Pointless is a word that comes to mind. What about the possibility of removing yourself from the situation. The planning of these things doesn't happen overnight, although the carrying through with your plan might.
  3. I am one of those of whom you speak! One of the attributes of God that was pounded into me was that He was unchanging. So imagine my surprise when I find three passages in Jeremiah where God reveals that it has never crossed His mind to have anyone sacrifice their children. What about Isaac? And later on, what about Jesus? Also why the confusion about whether salvation consists of faith + works, or faith - works? If there was anything whatsoever that it seems that God would want to be coherent about, wouldn't it be what salvation is? You appear to be new here. Welcome to Ex-C!
  4. I'd forgotten about that song. Goes good with gin and tonic.
  5. Ecclesiastes is my favourite book of the Bible, and the only one that's even worth reading. Obviously, I don't take it literally, but do find it interesting that literature written over 2000 years ago reads like it could have been written today. In my opinion, the book ends at 12:8, with the rest of it being "filler", because the original ending is so sad. But I have given thought to trying to figure out from the book of Ecclesiastes, what are the "commandments of God" that the ending could be talking about. The only thread that seems to be that common is enjoying your food, drink, wife, labour, etc. Be reasonably hedonist perhaps?
  6. Hi Salemite. I'll be 50 next year and I de-converted when I was 39. I have so many regrets, and feel like every big life decision that I made prior to de-converting was the wrong one. Since de-converting, I've been divorced, remarried, and now live on the other side of the country, and these were good decisions. My (now) wife similarly has lots of regrets as her life followed much the same path as mine did. (Coincidentally, we met here on Ex-C.) The "would have, should have" battle is strong for both of us at times. Just the other day, I was telling her that I wish I could just erase the quarter century between when I was 16 / 17 years old and almost figured out that Christianity was nonsense up into my mid forties. To me, it's a sign of a personality type of being a deeper thinker than most. I won't ever understand the people who have no regrets. All I really know to say is that you are certainly not alone in this.
  7. Hi Reduced, yes, I remember those days. It's been ten years ago now for me. I found it healthy to take "time off" from trying to figure it out. Is there a park nearby that you can escape to "Mother Nature" for awhile, away from the Christians and the Internet?
  8. You too? We were at least allowed to play quietly indoors and didn't have to stay dressed up. Then back to church in the evening for Bible study, and then the Sunday evening service was frequently another sermon on hell.
  9. Well, crap. He had asked for people to give him contradictions in the Bible for him to explain. Guess I still have to wait.
  10. One of the things that caught my attention was Genesis 22: 1-14 vs. Jeremiah 7:31, 19:5, and 32:35. The God of Jeremiah seems to have no recollection of ever having thought of someone sacrificing their children by fire.
  11. Wow, that's a lot to have gone through. I'll just double down on what Rounin said. Have any paperwork that you are ever going to need already out. If there's family pictures that you think you may want later, scan them into the cloud. Definitely telling them after you've already gone is good. In my situation, I went 2000 miles away, so hopefully they don't try to chase you since you're only going to be 3 1/2 hours away. Somehow relaying to them that you are safe in a new location seems sufficient (and kind), until you can sort out what is best in the future. It's 5 years after my exit, and still am trying to navigate my relationships with my family. Other than the two that I am safe with, I don't reach out to any of them. So far, nothing too weird has happened. Dad has mentioned in writing a couple of times that he'd like to see me again, but he has no interest in my life now and acknowledges nothing of my current life if I happen to offer anything, so it's confusing to me why he seems to want to see me again. Relationships are a dance. I'm completely with you that some of them just aren't worth the stress and chaos. I'll acknowledge that there is certainly stress and chaos removing yourself from them. Over time, the pain is less sharp. Best wishes, and I hope that you'll update us occasionally.
  12. Eugene39


    Hi Larry, It sounds like you and I had similar backgrounds, and a nightmare about hell from when I was just a kid is still vivid to me, and while awake, things weren't any better. This might sound silly, but just starting the use the word hell as a curse word was a big step forward for me. And I did a lot of reading about the origins of hell. Today, I view it as an ancient myth, and nothing more. But honestly, if for some reason, I were to end up sitting in a hell fire and brimstone message again, it would probably trigger me.
  13. My thoughts on getting married young is that it's quite likely a bad idea. My ex-wife and I met at Bible college, and we had no idea then who we even were as people. Marriage needs to be thought of as more of a legal contract than what it typically is. Marriage can be complicated and lots of work. It's certainly nothing to rush into simply so one can get laid. It pays to know what the other person is at their worst. Because if your marriage does end, that will all be dumped on you.
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