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Everything posted by Eugene39

  1. Hi Jadr. Welcome to Ex-C. First of all, congratulations on thinking your way out before you were 23. That makes me jealous. Yes, it's hard to lose what you've always known, but many of us have had to leave our birth family behind. It's natural for living things to remove themselves from toxic environments. My mind still knows what they think about me, but being physically removed from it is extremely helpful. My experience has been that discussions with family aren't helpful. Pointless is a word that comes to mind. What about the possibility of removing y
  2. I am one of those of whom you speak! One of the attributes of God that was pounded into me was that He was unchanging. So imagine my surprise when I find three passages in Jeremiah where God reveals that it has never crossed His mind to have anyone sacrifice their children. What about Isaac? And later on, what about Jesus? Also why the confusion about whether salvation consists of faith + works, or faith - works? If there was anything whatsoever that it seems that God would want to be coherent about, wouldn't it be what salvation is? You appear to be new here. Welcome to Ex-C!
  3. Hi MrJukes21 and welcome to Ex-C. I can totally relate to your trauma about the fear of hell. It was something ingrained into me from ever since I have memories. The fear of hell becomes a mental rut, and is literally the lens through which we see life. I tend to see leaving Christianity as life-changing as it was for astronomers to finally know that the earth is round - not flat, and that the earth revolved around the sun, not the opposite. Hell seems to be nothing more than a creation of man's imagination that has evolved over the centuries. As a result, those varying concepts show up in lit
  4. I'd forgotten about that song. Goes good with gin and tonic.
  5. Ecclesiastes is my favourite book of the Bible, and the only one that's even worth reading. Obviously, I don't take it literally, but do find it interesting that literature written over 2000 years ago reads like it could have been written today. In my opinion, the book ends at 12:8, with the rest of it being "filler", because the original ending is so sad. But I have given thought to trying to figure out from the book of Ecclesiastes, what are the "commandments of God" that the ending could be talking about. The only thread that seems to be that common is enjoying your food, drink, wife, labo
  6. Hi Salemite. I'll be 50 next year and I de-converted when I was 39. I have so many regrets, and feel like every big life decision that I made prior to de-converting was the wrong one. Since de-converting, I've been divorced, remarried, and now live on the other side of the country, and these were good decisions. My (now) wife similarly has lots of regrets as her life followed much the same path as mine did. (Coincidentally, we met here on Ex-C.) The "would have, should have" battle is strong for both of us at times. Just the other day, I was telling her that I wish I could just erase the quart
  7. Hi Reduced, yes, I remember those days. It's been ten years ago now for me. I found it healthy to take "time off" from trying to figure it out. Is there a park nearby that you can escape to "Mother Nature" for awhile, away from the Christians and the Internet?
  8. You too? We were at least allowed to play quietly indoors and didn't have to stay dressed up. Then back to church in the evening for Bible study, and then the Sunday evening service was frequently another sermon on hell.
  9. Well, crap. He had asked for people to give him contradictions in the Bible for him to explain. Guess I still have to wait.
  10. One of the things that caught my attention was Genesis 22: 1-14 vs. Jeremiah 7:31, 19:5, and 32:35. The God of Jeremiah seems to have no recollection of ever having thought of someone sacrificing their children by fire.
  11. Wow, that's a lot to have gone through. I'll just double down on what Rounin said. Have any paperwork that you are ever going to need already out. If there's family pictures that you think you may want later, scan them into the cloud. Definitely telling them after you've already gone is good. In my situation, I went 2000 miles away, so hopefully they don't try to chase you since you're only going to be 3 1/2 hours away. Somehow relaying to them that you are safe in a new location seems sufficient (and kind), until you can sort out what is best in the future. It's 5 years after my e
  12. Eugene39


    Hi Larry, It sounds like you and I had similar backgrounds, and a nightmare about hell from when I was just a kid is still vivid to me, and while awake, things weren't any better. This might sound silly, but just starting the use the word hell as a curse word was a big step forward for me. And I did a lot of reading about the origins of hell. Today, I view it as an ancient myth, and nothing more. But honestly, if for some reason, I were to end up sitting in a hell fire and brimstone message again, it would probably trigger me.
  13. My thoughts on getting married young is that it's quite likely a bad idea. My ex-wife and I met at Bible college, and we had no idea then who we even were as people. Marriage needs to be thought of as more of a legal contract than what it typically is. Marriage can be complicated and lots of work. It's certainly nothing to rush into simply so one can get laid. It pays to know what the other person is at their worst. Because if your marriage does end, that will all be dumped on you.
  14. I watched the video last evening and found it interesting. It certainly doesn't fit with Bishop Spong's ideas that he wrote about in his book "Biblical Literalism: A Gentile Heresy" which seems to be a more logical possibility to me of how the gospels were created. My biggest hang-up though is what do we do with the Apostle Paul's writings. He doesn't seem to know anything about Jesus' life other than the last supper scene, but he does mention a person named Jesus. If Jesus was completely an allegory invented far later by Josephus, then Paul shouldn't have known about him.
  15. @Overcame Faith There's a member that I've not seen in a while! It's good to hear from you and that you are doing well. I also came along in 2009, but you were quite a bit further along than I was. There's been a lot of water go under the bridge. I had tried to keep going to church with my then wife just to keep things at an equilibrium, but I couldn't handle it. While our marriage had really been over with for years, she and I broke up in 2014 after 22 years of marriage. Later, I started long distance dating @ilovemybrain and we got married in 2016. We are doing well. We're both thankful that
  16. Dear Eugene, I'm now 47, and saw that someone had written a letter to their 16 year old self. It seems like a good idea, so here goes. When you were 16, your sexuality had been spun as a possible pathway that could be the complete undoing of you, and you would burn in hell for eternity. You were taught that masturbation was a pathway to eternal damnation. You had been subjected to repeated sermons about hell during your formative years. The terrors you faced had never gone away. Then, your creator made you with feelings that by simply expressing them, they could send yo
  17. Eugene is my middle name. I was 39 when I deconverted.
  18. I read it clear through because my SS teacher challenged us to read it through in a year. And it's why I'm no longer a Christian.
  19. My wife is in recovery for alcohol addiction, and was very put off by the 12 step mentality. So she went looking online and found smartrecovery.org (SMART = Self Management and Recovery Training) which is evidence based (rational emotive behavior therapy) and far more empowering than 12 step programs. It is not dogmatic at all, and takes into account the fact that each person is a unique individual and has the power of choice. It has really helped her and given her practical tools to get sober and get her life back on track. You may want to check it out and see if there's anything there that c
  20. Hi Heimer and welcome to Ex-C. I can certainly relate to the fear of hell and am also glad to be over that phase of leaving faith. Just re-reading what you've written, it appears that you are on the way to a healthier you. Recognizing that there are problems is a big step forward. It's good that you are seeking professional help. These things weren't broken overnight and they won't be fixed overnight. A book that was a great help to me when I left about 8 years ago was "Leaving the Fold" by Marlene Winell. There are three sections to the book: sorting it out, healing,
  21. Hi TrueArrow. I gather that the common ground that you and your wife had originally was that you were both praying to find a spouse. Were there other areas of common ground?
  22. Unless it's absolutely necessary, I don't know that I would respond. Neither of you are going to change your minds by talking about it. And it appears that she is expecting you to "run away". It's difficult losing your friends. Unfortunately, it's just part of the fallout, and I too wish that it wasn't that way.
  23. Good topic! Ditto for a lot of the Christianity stuff mentioned here. As far as something not related to Christianity, astro-meterology would be high on the list.
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