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chosendarkness last won the day on September 29 2011

chosendarkness had the most liked content!

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About chosendarkness

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    i have no clue
  1. That's what I was thinking too. You don't have to make a dramatic statement to everyone, unless you want to. Personally I prefer the path of least conflict if possible. Others here have just politely said we appreciate the concern but we're do ok, thanks. You don't have tell anyone anything if you don't want to, and if they probe you just lie so they'll go away.
  2. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. One thing that helped me was when I realized that a culture's religious beliefs can seem very real to people because they're so 'ingrained' in us. The beliefs actually become a part of us, to where on a deep level we consider them to be reality. Especially when you've heard countless sermons, music, etc.. that programs us on a subconscious level. Like if someone has been told from childhood and most of their adult life that they're ugly, even if they're the most beatiful person in the world they only see the subconsious belief that was programmed into them. That's why it's so hard to break the programming, it's as if you're going against yourself. Even when you 'know' with your conscious mind it's a bunch of bullshit, the deep programming is still there. It can be broken though, look at all the people here who escaped! It's just takes time, don't give up! Christian beliefs like hell are so counter-intuitive, it's not really that hard to change our beliefs, it just take a little time. It really helped me to keep questioning and sharing how I felt about it. I wish the best for you.
  3. changed music direction, was going for what other people would like, now going for the sound I like. It's much harder to do but worth it.

    1. Fuego


      Excellent and authentic.

  4. I dabbled in Universalism when I was deconverting. I had heard of Carlton's change of beliefs back then. He was a popular TV preacher that gave up his status and wealth. He started believing in Universalism so he got rejected by everyone and lost his church. Then he started a new church that was much less fancy than the old one where he preached inclusion of 'evil' homosexuals. That went over real well with the other Christians. Universalism is still a Christian doctrine, just not a popular one. You still believe Christianity is the only truth, and all other religions are false or at the very least inferior to yours. If you're going to believe in fairy tales, at least that one has a happy ending for everyone.
  5. The way I look at it is we don't know so it's not worth worrying about. I don't even know what a god is supposed to be, much less if one exists or not. How important is it to make a decision about something you don't even know about? It doesn't even make sense to try.
  6. have about 5 songs for the album. thinking about just releasing an ep, then when more are written releasing an lp

  7. Wow I'm jealous! If it's at least a generic state university you should be very happy. There's alot of jerks sure but I just ignored them and hung around intelligent, decent people.
  8. You're ALL FREE NOW!!

    -Ricky Oh

  9. Which is a wonderful privilege. Especially when you've been brainwashed for so long. Feels like flying with the eagles.
  10. I had numerous deep experiences. Went through exorcisms and crazy 'This Present Darkness' type stuff. We believed it was real and the only truth was Cheesus and you had to experience the holy ghost stuff if you REALLY wanted to know god. So yeah I'm fucked up from it too, it gets much better though the longer you're totally away from it all. I discovered when I thought I was experiencing an outside entity that I was having emotional discussions with myself. I'm glad though, I think it's a good thing that it was me helping myself and not some psycho religious deity. I remember all the guilt I used to feel because I thought I was upsetting the holy spirit. Now I realize it's all me, I have to take responsibility. I guess that's learning to be emotionally mature.
  11. Hi Everyone, I'm glad to be home.

  12. The one I'm dealing with now is a real piece of work. She denied education to her son. She took him out of school when she was converted 4 years ago in order to home school him but didn't do it so he missed all of high school and can't pass a GED. But according to her mentality, it was God's will. I wish I could report her to authorities but he just turned 18 so I guess it's probably too late.
  13. Exactly! I remember reading a book that said you're supposed to get your self-esteem from God. How can you when you're just projecting yourself onto a being that doesn't exist? You try to believe you're loved but there's no real person there giving you the self-esteem. It's all coming from you. Now instead of believing self-esteem comes from an outside source, the focus is shifting toward ME being responsible for it. No one else but me. It's kind of a lot of pressure but I don't have any other choice now. I guess if something is worth working toward it's not supposed to be easy.
  14. Thanks guys, I appreciate the replies. I'm been having to re-live my past lately because of a Christian that I have to work with. When she's preaching I go numb emotionally, then later have lots of strong emotions. If I don't find an outlet I might get sick, that's how bad the feelings are sometimes. I didn't tell everything that happened in my Christian past, it would take too long.
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