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Margee

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Margee last won the day on February 1

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About Margee

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    Moderator for Testimonials and Ex-Christian Life

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    Learning how to be an ex-Christian and be comfortable with it!
    This is my 'Please Forgive Me' letter - It is my testimony and I hope it helps someone....You'll have to copy and paste.

    http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/44259-please-forgive-me/
  • More About Me
    Hi! I've come to you for a little help. I was a 'Fundi' for 30 years. I took the bible literally. The more I studied, the more questions I had. I became known as the 'pastors worst nightmare'. I asked too many questions. They (the church) continued to tell me just to have faith. It's been 3 years since I've gone to church. Nobody knows how I feel. How do you tell your friends and family that you don't believe anymore?

    It's been a long time coming. It all started when I read Charles Templeton's book,''Farewell To God-My Reasons For Rejecting Christianity''.(He was Billy Grahams dearest friend) His book answered just about every question that I ever asked when I belonged to the church, but they would not answer because they couldn't. I even went as far as having 3 phone conversations with Charles before he died and he sent me his autographed book.

    I have bargained, begged, cried, screamed and 'prayed' for God to give me the 'sign' that 'he' exists and it has not happened. I have prayed to 'him' in agony I've said to 'him', 'Don't you see, you're ready to lose me, don't you care'? I have gone as far as leaving letters to 'him' under my pillow (to reveal himself to me in a dream) so 'he' could see how sincere I am! How's that for being crazy?

    Sincere is what I have been! And I'm darn angry now!

    I started to study websites like 'evil bible.com' and 'Why God won't heal amputees?' I have dabbled with the law of attraction, psychics, astrology, energy fields, and every new age 'thing' a person could try to find a faith that might be more reliable than the christian god.

    If I ever even dreamt that I would be writing this letter.... The girl who studied her bible for years - I would have told you that the devil had complete control of me! I tried and tried and tried to make sense of this for all these years. I have heard horror stories of 'suffering' even within our own community of the church (let alone the whole world) and I always asked this God ; ''Why-Why-Why, can't you do something?? Can you not see what's happening down here? Can't you see how cruel nature can be? Don't you see what all these 'Holy Books' are doing to people down here? Can't you see the rapes, murders - the insanity of it all?''

    How does one deal with the pain of no God? My search is almost over - but - what now? So I don't believe in God anymore.... What now? How does one deal with this? I've read that some of you are 'free'. I don't feel that way. No afterlife - no seeing my only sister who died 13 years ago - no seeing mom or dad? No reward for trying to be so good all these years? How does one deal with this 'Dark Night of The Soul''?

    Thank you so much. Sincerely, Margee

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Non-Believer

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  1. Awesome Steviejay. I just pinned this for all newcomers coming to Ex-c. Thank you for the time you put in to this post. Fantastic.
  2. Hi lost. I'm so happy to see you back at EXC but I am so, so sorry that you are here under such sad circumstances. I am so sorry to hear of the death of your very special man friend. Sudden death is like the biggest punch in the stomach that one can ever experience. Don't be too surprised if your mind is in a bit of trauma shock. Honey, lots of people get involved in what can be a messy relationship. We are all human. You had some things that you shared together that were special. These are what I call the bittersweet relationships. Whether these relationships are right or wrong, you can learn many lessons from them. It sounds to me as if you learned from him and you probably taught him a thing or two. And you cared for each other even though the flaws were all there. Try to remember all of the nice, lovely times that you had with him. At some point you will know the reasons why you were in this relationship. As it was already mentioned here, take your time with the grieving and grieve anyway you want. Some days will be better than others. But we are here for you to help you through this if you need us. One thing that I have learned in my life, having an addictive personality myself, is that we addictive personalities never mean to harm. We use substances, eat too much, shop too much, gamble, take drugs, drink too much, smoke too much and I have discovered that we are all trying to fill a vacuum that is inside of us. Sometimes life is very hard and we use 'things and substances' because we think it will help us cope better. We turn to these things for comfort even though we all know they aren't good for us. Most of the alcoholics and addicts that I know are some of the most beautiful people on this earth even though the behaviour has such negative consequences. Again, I am so sorry but you are going through this. Just know that EXC is here for you. I give you the biggest virtual hug in the world tonight honey. It's going to be alright, you wait and see. It's just going to take some time. Be gentle with yourself.
  3. Margee

    Need help

    I believe that I got all that information from this site: https://www.evilbible.com/ Hope that helps!!
  4. I'm 5 foot honey. You hold him down and I'll punch his face in. You must never phuck around with a short, cranky woman...especially the ones that looks like sweethearts.....
  5. @freshstart A huge ((hug)) honey. Get as much rest as you can during this..... and thank you so much for helping in this horrendous situation.
  6. I went to Walmart the other day (yes Walmart!! Lol) to see if we could get a better deal on groceries and it wasn't any different than any other time I have been there. I haven't been out there for over 5 weeks. People were bumping into each other, cranky, ('specially hubby! Lol) some with masks, some others without. They certainly did not count how many were in this store. We will never go back. Our province (community) experienced Canada's greatest mass shooting a couple of weeks ago and they will be looking into if the lockdown set him off. It paralyzed us all. We are lucky not to experience a lot of gun violence. It started with a fight with his girlfriend and he ended up going on a shooting rampage that took 22 innocent lives. Seems as if he had already planned this but did the pandemic lockdown set him off? We will never know.
  7. @TheRedneckProfessor Here is the civil war we are experiencing in our community and it goes right along with Dave's excellent message. I think this list was meant to be funny, but it's not.It's exactly the messages they (the experts) give us from day to day because they don't really know. It causes a lot of dissension among the people. Great article @webmdave. Thanks. In case you were wondering... Here are the official Coronavirus guidelines: 1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can. 2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well. 3. Stores are closed, except those that are open. 4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick. 5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster. 6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help. 7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT. 8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes. 9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects. 10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there… 11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my.. 12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but no… 13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old). 14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication. 15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy. 16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too? 17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with "I don't want to trigger panic, but…" 18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver. 19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof. 20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance. 21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily. 22. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe. 23. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of… 24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications). 25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that? Here's a nice video that popped up this morning. This is the stuff out there in ''internet-land'' that's enough to make you lose your mind.
  8. OMG Dave I was just going to write this out!! It's perfect for me. All my customers are gone right now and I don't miss them one bit. I love them, but I don't miss them. I've had 45 years of socializing and I could care less if I ever seen any of them. But I love them. (Still feeling guilty after all these years for feeling this way ) So quarinteening for me has been such a nice break.... no people, no lipstick, daytime housedress and nighttime P'J's.....no bra for the last 6 weeks! Going for walks everyday with no traffic to fight, getting a few things done around the ole' shack, researching Covid19, sleeping in till I want (normally 8-8:30) but that's real late for me! It's wonderful! I'm tired of working and socializing. I love my own company. Lol I'm terribly sorry for all those who lost someone and I am so grateful to still be here.... but we are still not out of the woods (and probably won't be for awhile) but I am feeling a bit more optimistic today as they are starting to lift some of our restrictions and that makes me so happy today. But I still don't want to see anyone........Lmao!!
  9. Welcome to ex-c IAMFORTRUTH. So good to have you here. \You are in the right spot. We understand everything you are going through. Keep reading and posting all your questions. Someone is always here to help you. Looking forward to hearing more from you!
  10. So true, they are trying so hard to move fast. The rebelling that is going to start happening (Which is already has) is going to mess the system up that they want to eventually wean us into. I think we're in for some real dumb stuff with the revolutions. I also believe we will get a total lockdown before this is over (because we have people who won't follow directions and take this seriously here) and I have prepared for it. Our Premier tells us everyday how we will slowly open things while we still maintain distance and move on from there. For instance, we got word last night that our campgrounds will be open only to the seasonals and we must follow the exact rules at our campground as in the city. Unfortunately, we're not sure if it will be open to tenters so I'm sure they won't fill the pool and will probably rope off the playground. (even for the kids who go up every year) They will have to find a new way to 'play' this year and these parents that I know are very responsible so I was thrilled to death that we can go in a few weeks. Just to get out of this house and have a little break up in the beautiful country soothes my soul tonight. I felt a tiny bit of 'normal' (and hopeful) today.
  11. Goodpoint @TruthSeeker0. As I've been researching the best I can, I have found out that the main cause of the virus attacking certain people (age does not matter) who are compromised.(That would aslo include dear little babies) The list goes on. Everything from Cancer, obesity, diabetes heart problems, malnutrition from eating all junk food, etc. A lot of folk will have to be isolated. I even heard one doctor of health say that America (Although I would stick Canada in this category also!) has the absolute worst eating habits (mostly the young generation) and that if their bodies are not well nourished with the right nutrients from food, that they are susceptible to experience harm and sickness from the virus. So you see, I have found out it's not just the elderly.
  12. Agreed Dan. I have tried so hard to find some reliable sites and scientific papers on this virus but i think you are right. We will find out later what we should/could have done but I know they are doing their best. Nobody was prepared for this. We only had weeks to move fast. My heart bleeds for all the deaths. We had 3 more from our nursing homes today. Actually, the nursing homes and staff are taking the biggest hits. The others that have been tested for covid seem to be doing fine and many are recovering in the hospitols.. I don't care if they are in their 80', 90's, they were still someones' loved one. I believe 100% in the isolating to get this virus slowed down and I am practicing everything our mayor is telling us to do. But I do wonder if we isolated all the people who have health problems (old and young) why we couldn't allow the strong, healthy ones open the economy back up. Then again, it's so confusing because these strong young ones would have to be tested also. They are saying we just don't have the tests. The testing is what we need. I guess we will all have to remain as patient as we can and let the experts figure it out for us. Stay safe!
  13. There are so many opinions about the testing. And how this could have been done in a more 'mannerly' way as to keep the work forces open. I listened to Dr. David L. Katz last night (who I found through the link above) and he was wonderful to listen to. No conspiracies whatsoever. He made total sense to me but I know many would disagree. I liked what he had to say. He also mentions the testing in the video. Have a listen when you get time. I would love to hear your opinion.
  14. Tell me what your opinion is?
  15. If you poke around on this site you will find tons of information, including the testing. They started stats around March 14th and update every day. Enough links to keep you going all day. Very interesting. This site will show you that hundreds and hundreds of people were ready to die of the smog alone in Italy. My husband and I are very interested in the tests (and all the false positives and the positives who don't get any symptoms at all) and the numbers of people who are actually dying of this virus by ITSELF (Or is it because they have 2-3 terrible underlying health conditions which weakens their whole body and immune systems. I.E.Cancer, heart conditions, diabetes, etc.) We think it's a good resource and they up-date it everyday. We do not believe this site is 'conspiracy shit'. Check it out. https://swprs.org/a-swiss-doctor-on-covid-19/?fbclid=IwAR3wAMcwPljqzuLK6E3fGV2Jua63PZd_mgY0I-MO9gJqQFlEZen7HB9gHe0#latest
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