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Margee

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Margee last won the day on February 1

Margee had the most liked content!

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3,657 Damn!

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About Margee

  • Rank
    Moderator for Testimonials and Ex-Christian Life

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    Learning how to be an ex-Christian and be comfortable with it!
    This is my 'Please Forgive Me' letter - It is my testimony and I hope it helps someone....You'll have to copy and paste.

    http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/44259-please-forgive-me/
  • More About Me
    Hi! I've come to you for a little help. I was a 'Fundi' for 30 years. I took the bible literally. The more I studied, the more questions I had. I became known as the 'pastors worst nightmare'. I asked too many questions. They (the church) continued to tell me just to have faith. It's been 3 years since I've gone to church. Nobody knows how I feel. How do you tell your friends and family that you don't believe anymore?

    It's been a long time coming. It all started when I read Charles Templeton's book,''Farewell To God-My Reasons For Rejecting Christianity''.(He was Billy Grahams dearest friend) His book answered just about every question that I ever asked when I belonged to the church, but they would not answer because they couldn't. I even went as far as having 3 phone conversations with Charles before he died and he sent me his autographed book.

    I have bargained, begged, cried, screamed and 'prayed' for God to give me the 'sign' that 'he' exists and it has not happened. I have prayed to 'him' in agony I've said to 'him', 'Don't you see, you're ready to lose me, don't you care'? I have gone as far as leaving letters to 'him' under my pillow (to reveal himself to me in a dream) so 'he' could see how sincere I am! How's that for being crazy?

    Sincere is what I have been! And I'm darn angry now!

    I started to study websites like 'evil bible.com' and 'Why God won't heal amputees?' I have dabbled with the law of attraction, psychics, astrology, energy fields, and every new age 'thing' a person could try to find a faith that might be more reliable than the christian god.

    If I ever even dreamt that I would be writing this letter.... The girl who studied her bible for years - I would have told you that the devil had complete control of me! I tried and tried and tried to make sense of this for all these years. I have heard horror stories of 'suffering' even within our own community of the church (let alone the whole world) and I always asked this God ; ''Why-Why-Why, can't you do something?? Can you not see what's happening down here? Can't you see how cruel nature can be? Don't you see what all these 'Holy Books' are doing to people down here? Can't you see the rapes, murders - the insanity of it all?''

    How does one deal with the pain of no God? My search is almost over - but - what now? So I don't believe in God anymore.... What now? How does one deal with this? I've read that some of you are 'free'. I don't feel that way. No afterlife - no seeing my only sister who died 13 years ago - no seeing mom or dad? No reward for trying to be so good all these years? How does one deal with this 'Dark Night of The Soul''?

    Thank you so much. Sincerely, Margee

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Non-Believer

Recent Profile Visitors

26,339 profile views
  1. can I get the sex password please? it's kind of the reason I accidentally stumbled on this site. thank you.

  2. Miss you so much Margee.  I hope you are well.

    1. ConsiderTheSource

      ConsiderTheSource

      So happy!!!!!!  Sorry about your last 6 months.  Been the opposite for me.  The last 8 months have been the best of my life.  Would of gladly shared the good stuff with you to balance out what you have been through 

    2. Margee

      Margee

      I'm  so happy for you! Life has it's  ups and downs. So glad yours is in the 'up'. Mine is gettin  there again! Enjoy every second of it! ( big hug)

  3. How utterly sad. How heartbreaking this is. So tragic. This story of Scott is the epitome of a human brain that had snapped and only saw hopelessness in those last days. Death would become the only way out of the pain. He had no hope left and he didn't want his wife to have any either. For whatever reason, maybe his hopelessness and depression had caused her to want to begin another life and he wasn't going to let her. Maybe she just wanted to move on because the relationship wasn't working? But whatever, his sick brain said 'no' to her. So he took her to. Heartbreak can cause its' own mental
  4. Awesome Travi!! Good for you!! Sounds like a fantastic plan! ((hug))
  5. You're wonderful with all the different aspects of yourself hon! Just try to be as completely comfortable in all of them. Accepting all of you is your key to freedom! (Hug)
  6. Hi! You will never (in a million years) guess where I am starting work soon!! It's a part time job at night to bring in some extra money.

  7. The interview went well, but I am still waiting to hear about the job. Of course, I hope I get it, but I am so used to job hunting disappointment that I am ready for good news or bad news. My daughter moved to Chicago and, of course, is not in school. She remains fairly private and won't give us her address. Talk soon, my GREAT friend!!!

    1. Margee

      Margee

      Just noticed this. All will be well!! (hug)

  8. So sorry for the loss of your mother in law. Thinking if you in your time of grief. (((((Hug)))))). From your friend

  9. Yay!!!! The clocks go ahead tonight!! It's time to come out of our caves!! Ya-HOO!!! *hugs*

    1. crazyguy123

      crazyguy123

      Yeah, but people will be losing an hour of sleep and start their day when it's still pitch black outside. Mix those two things together and it's a perfect recipe for fatal car crashes.

    2. Margee

      Margee

      Oh my goodness crazyguy..I was thinking such good thoughts about the time change. I guess everything has a disadvantage, eh? *hug*

    3. crazyguy123

      crazyguy123

      At least you see the positive side of most things. I mostly see the negative, darker side.

  10. There has been so many terrible weather systems lately...I hope eveyone stays safe!! Don't make me worry about you!!!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Margee

      Margee

      We're all indoors today again. This has been the longest winter I remember in years!! Ug!! I can't wait till spring!!

    3. Margee

      Margee

      I am so glad Ex-members are doing OK!! *hug*

    4. Cousin Ricky

      Cousin Ricky

      @Thurisaz - 17°C? That's COLDER than winter. *ducks well-packed snowballs from the north*

  11. I am the happiest girl in the world today, including the fact that today is finally the last day of January!! *hugs* to you all - you have all played such a great part in my life to be able to feel this way today!!

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Margee

      Margee

      Your awesome NeverAgain and MM!!Hours to go to get to February the 1st!! Bring it on!! Someone dance with me!!Lol

       

    3. xliar

      xliar

      Margee I have a feeling you're a good dancer, BTW, celebrating anything in particular Feb.1 ??

    4. Woodsy

      Woodsy

      Feeling happy for you, girlfriend! The happiness you spread to others is coming right back at ya. Love you, sweetie!

  12. I love how you wrote that a god would be a leader. That's it. There is no 'leader'. I do not see any signs of a 'leader'. Why would any creator of the universe want to stay silent? These have always been my questions. Good post hon...very good!! *hug*
  13. Margee

    Love Doesn't Work

    I think you need to accept all the shit in the world Galien. That's what I had to do. I had to stop fighting why the world was the way it was. I can't change the world anymore than I can change my friends or family. I don't want to live in quiet desperation anymore. As the saying goes..'It is the way it is' and I personally want to learn to laugh again for the few (probably) short years I have left. I Play Russian Roulette because I have been a smoker for all my life....I'm sure it's going to catch up with me at one point. C'mon girl...smile for me tonight...just for little ole' me????
  14. Margee

    Love Doesn't Work

    Blood....you couldn't have said it better for me! This is exactly how I feel today. Exactly...even to the point of avoiding calling people back on the phone. As they used to say in our church...'Good word' Blood!! Thanks buddy! *hug*
  15. Margee

    Love Doesn't Work

    It's so sad to watch when you can't rescue them....can't fix them. I have admitted 'powerlessness' in certain areas of my life and this is one of them. Can't change people. I didn't know this all through my life. I thought I could 'fix' everything, but now I know I can't. The next biggest hurdle to get through, is not to take this personally. I know you probably want to slap me right now, but this was a part of it for me. How could it be that the boy I rescued at 8 years old when his mom died treat me this way? I try so hard not to take anything personally anymore. I admit, it's hard for
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