Margee

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Margee last won the day on November 15 2018

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About Margee

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    'Madame Eve'

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    Female
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    Learning how to be an ex-Christian and be comfortable with it!
    This is my 'Please Forgive Me' letter - It is my testimony and I hope it helps someone....You'll have to copy and paste.

    http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/44259-please-forgive-me/
  • More About Me
    Hi! I've come to you for a little help. I was a 'Fundi' for 30 years. I took the bible literally. The more I studied, the more questions I had. I became known as the 'pastors worst nightmare'. I asked too many questions. They (the church) continued to tell me just to have faith. It's been 3 years since I've gone to church. Nobody knows how I feel. How do you tell your friends and family that you don't believe anymore?

    It's been a long time coming. It all started when I read Charles Templeton's book,''Farewell To God-My Reasons For Rejecting Christianity''.(He was Billy Grahams dearest friend) His book answered just about every question that I ever asked when I belonged to the church, but they would not answer because they couldn't. I even went as far as having 3 phone conversations with Charles before he died and he sent me his autographed book.

    I have bargained, begged, cried, screamed and 'prayed' for God to give me the 'sign' that 'he' exists and it has not happened. I have prayed to 'him' in agony I've said to 'him', 'Don't you see, you're ready to lose me, don't you care'? I have gone as far as leaving letters to 'him' under my pillow (to reveal himself to me in a dream) so 'he' could see how sincere I am! How's that for being crazy?

    Sincere is what I have been! And I'm darn angry now!

    I started to study websites like 'evil bible.com' and 'Why God won't heal amputees?' I have dabbled with the law of attraction, psychics, astrology, energy fields, and every new age 'thing' a person could try to find a faith that might be more reliable than the christian god.

    If I ever even dreamt that I would be writing this letter.... The girl who studied her bible for years - I would have told you that the devil had complete control of me! I tried and tried and tried to make sense of this for all these years. I have heard horror stories of 'suffering' even within our own community of the church (let alone the whole world) and I always asked this God ; ''Why-Why-Why, can't you do something?? Can you not see what's happening down here? Can't you see how cruel nature can be? Don't you see what all these 'Holy Books' are doing to people down here? Can't you see the rapes, murders - the insanity of it all?''

    How does one deal with the pain of no God? My search is almost over - but - what now? So I don't believe in God anymore.... What now? How does one deal with this? I've read that some of you are 'free'. I don't feel that way. No afterlife - no seeing my only sister who died 13 years ago - no seeing mom or dad? No reward for trying to be so good all these years? How does one deal with this 'Dark Night of The Soul''?

    Thank you so much. Sincerely, Margee

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Non-Believer

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  1. Margee

    50+ Healing Scriptures For Cancer Patients

    Cancer? You mean that disease that god cursed us with when he ''designed'' and made his 'special' children for earth? Then he gives us prayers to pray to get rid of it? That cancer? The disease that destroys more babies, toddlers, pre-teens, teens, adults and old people and fucks people up real bad? That cancer? Oh right...that was the ''fall of man'' that created that disease by the intelligent god. Where are the Heart disease prayers? Welcome ETM. Watch this and tell me what you think?
  2. Margee

    Religion, and what it did

    I did not realize when I got involved in fundamentalist religion, that is was a cult and a drug to me. I was extremely dependent on it for many years and it almost destroyed my life completely in many, many ways. I am so glad you are free mrspearl. (hug)
  3. OK, Girlfriend. Time to pull up those big-girl bootstraps and stomp around a little bit. (only by yourself for now!! Lol) Get ready cause you are one that is going to help and change this crazy, insane world. Here is a letter I wrote to all the young people. I hope this encourages you because you are a minority right now....... and a minority is hard when the majority of people are followers, not leaders. I want you to become a leader. I am too old and tired for the job. You young ones got to do it!! Just read it and take what you can out of it for now. Big (hug) cause I know it's hard.
  4. Margee

    The holidays and how my parents visit went.

    It's a huge loss sweetie. You have a right to feel all these negative emotions. Grieve the whole damn situation. Religion is such a bitch. I'm so sorry you have to go through this but you handled it beautifully. As someone already suggested, love them from a distance. Talk on the phone (if you can) and keep things as loving and 'light' as you can. I hope you will feel better soon. Keep reading and posting. A big ((hug))
  5. Margee

    Given your options

    Lemme tell you something.......You guys are all amazing!!
  6. Margee

    Given your options

    YOU, get the trophy for this answer!!! You go, girl! Wonderful!
  7. Margee

    Maybe Atheist

    Welcome Mandy! I sure hope you'll stay awhile! I'd like to hear more from you! Glad you are here with us! (hug)
  8. Margee

    Death of parent

    Hi Astrea. Welcome to Ex-c. I am so glad you found us. And I am so very sorry to hear about the sudden death of your mom. What you said above is the greatest point for you to remember.....that you really did love each other in spite of the differences of opinion on religion. Think of all those happier times with your mom. Don't be burdened with guilt or shame. It can make you sick. If any negative thoughts enter, switch over to thinking of the good times. Maybe a workbook (below ''Surviving Loss without Religion'') might help you to sort out your feelings and help to give you more peace during this transition. Keep posting and reading. Someone is always here for you. A big (hug) because I know what it feels like to lose our loved ones. Do something nice for yourself every day. Another ((hug)) https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0989700429/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0989700429&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwfriendlyat-20&linkId=A6GHGY464ENF3YUN
  9. Margee

    open question to all - can you help?

    She was too condescending throughout all her posts. I was done with (the troll) as soon as I started to see her replies. When anyone in real life or on-line starts talking 'word salad' (answers are all over the place without giving an answer and often will blame the other person) I know they are not one bit interested in helping or in listening, I can easily walk away now and call bullshit. Reminds me of Trump. Brainwashed and dumb. As much as it stills hurts sometimes, I'm glad the veil came off my own dumb eyes. If anyone truly wanted to know how we felt or why we left christianity, they can sit here and read the testimonies for months (like I did) before breaking into our site and stirring things up. I don't like shit disturbers anymore.
  10. Margee

    open question to all - can you help?

    @Citsonga By the way, I meant to mention that I saved that letter you wrote to your parents years ago. I still have it. I could never get over the amount of research that you put into it to try and explain to them your reason for leaving the faith. You really should turn that information into a book!
  11. Margee

    open question to all - can you help?

    That's a really good point Citsonga. You are right. When I look back, even though I did have a lot of questions the church would reassure me of why god might be mysterious and we were not to question his ways, I would go my merry way for a while and not question.
  12. Margee

    open question to all - can you help?

    When I was a practicing christian, I would not ever join a site like this except for one reason and that would be to try as hard as I could to win you all back to god. But if you all came at me with your testimonies, links and video's to watch....and I actually did read them and watch the video's with sincerity, I would totally understand deep, deep down, why you lost your faith because I was already questioning many, many things and every christian does doubt to some degree. (Why do you think they sell thousands of self-help christian books on the very topic of doubt? ) So 'worldly' information like what is posted here at Ex-c would have scared the crap right out of me....and I would have turned a blind eye and run for my life, back to where the christians would have reassured me that you guys were wrong. That's why I think so many christians who join this site don't take long to leave. I even believe that our dear friend 'End' knew the truth deep down inside even though he probably would deny it out of fear. It is 'fear' of gods' wrath. (for many people) This is why they cannot cut that last string. I see that all the time on this site when we have a newcomer. Fear of hell. Learning the truth ain't easy for some people. It wasn't for me.
  13. This is called ''Cherry Picking'' the nice little verses from the bible. Read the WHOLE book! From Genesis to revelation and you will soon see the god who loves to kill.. He adores blood sacrifices from humans and animals. Wait. Even his own 'son' ...........
  14. I don't think so hun. Here are the biggest Massacres in all of history. These were 'ordered' by god himself!! This includes babies and thousands of innocent people estimated at 24,994,828! Take your time hun. Look them all up for yourself. You don't need speakers for a bible!! (hug) (The table has been updated to include God's killings in the Apocrypha/Deuterocanonical books. I'll be adding the missing Apocryphal stories in the next few days.) Killing Event Reference Bible's Number Estimate 1 The Flood of Noah Gen 7:23 20,000,000 2 Abraham's war to rescue Lot Gen 14:17-19 1,000 3 Sodom and Gomorrah Gen 19:24 2,000 4 Lot's wife Gen 19:26 1 1 5 While they were sore, Dinah's brethren slew all the males Gen 34:1-31, Judith 9:2-3 2 1,000 6 Er for being wicked in the sight of the Lord Gen 38:7 1 1 7 Onan for spilling his seed Gen 38:10 1 1 8 A seven year worldwide famine Gen 41:25-54 70,000 9 There will be blood: The first plague of Egypt Ex 7:15-27 , Wis 11:7-8 10,000 10 The seventh plague: hail Ex 9:25 300,000 11 Firstborn Egyptian children Ex 12:29-30 500,000 12 The Lord took off their chariot wheels Ex 14:8-26 600 5,000 13 Amalekites Ex 17:13 1,000 14 Who is on the Lord's side?: Forcing friends and family to kill each other Ex 32:27-28 3,000 3,000 15 Aaron's golden calf Ex 32:35 1,000 16 God burns Aaron's sons to death for offering "strange fire" Lev 10:1-3 2 2 17 A blasphemer is stoned to death Lev 24:10-23 1 1 18 When the people complained, God burned them to death Num 11:1 100 19 While the flesh was still between their teeth, the Lord smote them will a very great plague Num 11:33 10,000 20 Ten scouts are killed for their honest report Num 14:35-45 10 110 21 A man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day is stoned to death Num 15:32-35 1 1 22 Korah, his companions, and their families are buried alive Num 16:27 3 9 23 God burns 250 people to death for burning incense Num 16:35 250 250 24 God kills 14,700 for complaining about God's killings Num 16:49 14,700 14,700 25 The massacre of the Aradies Num 21:1-2 3,000 26 God sent serpents to bite people for complaining about the lack of food and water Num 21:6 100 27 Phineas's double murder: A killing to end God's killing Num 25:1-11 24,002 24,002 28 The Midianite massacre: Have ye saved all the women alive? Num 31:1-35 6 200,000 29 God slowly killed the Israelite army Dt 2:14-16 500,000 30 God the giant killer Dt 2:21-22 5,000 31 God hardens King Sihon's heart so all his people can be killed Dt 2:33-34 1 5,000 32 Og and all the men women, and children in 60 cities Dt 3:6 1 60,000 33 The Jericho massacre Jos 6:21 1,000 34 Achan and his family Jos 7:10-26 1 5 35 The Ai massacre Jos 8:1-25 12,000 12,000 36 God stops the sun so Joshua can get his killing done in the daylight Jos 10:10-11 5,000 37 Five kings killed and hung on trees Jos 10:26 5 10,000 38 Joshua utterly destroyed all that breathed as the Lord commanded Jos 10:28-42 7 7,000 39 The genocide of twenty cities: There was not any left to breathe Jos 11:8-12 2 20,000 40 The Anakim: some more giant killing Jos 11:20-21 5,000 41 The Lord delivered the Canaanites and Perizzites Jg 1:4 10,000 10,000 42 The Jerusalem massacre Jg 1:8 1,000 43 Five massacres, a wedding, and God-proof iron chariots Jg 1:9-25 5,000 44 The Lord delivered Chushanrishathaim Jg 3:7-10 1 1,000 45 Ehud delivers a message from God Jg 3:15-22 1 1 46 God delivers 10,000 lusty Moabites Jg 3:28-29 10,000 10,000 47 Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an ox goad Jg 3:31 600 600 48 Barak and God massacre the Canaanites Jg 4:15-16 1,000 49 Jael pounds a tent stake through a sleeping man's skull Jg 4:18-22 1 1 50 Gideon's story: The Lord set every man's sword against his fellow Jg 7:22 120,000 120,000 51 A city is massacred and 1000 burn to death because of God's evil spirit Jg 9:23-27 1,001 2,000 52 The Ammonite massacre Jg 11:32-33 20,000 53 Jephthah's daughter Jg 11:39 1 1 54 42,000 die for failing the "shibboleth" test Jg 12:4-7 42,000 42,000 55 Samson murdered 30 men for their clothes Jg 14:19 30 30 56 Samson killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass Jg 15:14-15 1,000 1,000 57 Samson killed 3000 in a suicide terrorist attack Jg 16:27-30 3,000 3,000 58 A holy civil war (it had something to do with rotting concubine body part messages) Jg 20:35-37 65,100 65,100 59 The end of Judges: two genocides and 200 stolen virgins Jg 21:10-14 4,000 60 God killed Eli's sons and 34,000 Israelite soldiers 1 Sam 2:25, 4:11 34,002 34,002 61 God smote them with hemorrhoids in their secret parts 1 Sam 5:1-12 3,000 62 50,070 killed for looking into the ark of the Lord 1 Sam 6:19 50,070 50,070 63 The Lord thundered a great thunder upon the Philistines 1 Sam 7:10-11 1,000 64 Another Ammonite massacre (and another God-inspired body part message) 1 Sam 11:6-13 1,000 65 Jonathan's first slaughter 1 Sam 14:12-14 20 20 66 God forces the Philistines to kill each other 1 Sam 14:20 1,000 67 The Amalekite genocide 1 Sam 15:2-3 10,000 68 Samuel hacks Agag to death before the Lord 1 Sam 15:32-33 1 1 69 In the valley of Elah: Goliath 1 Sam 17:51, 2 Sam 21:19 1 1 70 David buys a wife with 200 Philistine foreskins 1 Sam 18:27 200 200 71 The Lord said to David, Go and smite the Philistines 1 Sam 23:2-5 10,000 72 God killed Nabal (and David got his wife and other stuff) 1 Sam 25:38 1 1 73 David commits random acts of genocide for the Philistines 1 Sam 27:8-11 60,000 74 David spends the day killing Amalekites 1 Sam 30:17 1,000 75 God kills Saul, his sons, and his soldiers (because Saul didn't kill all the Amalekites) 1 Sam 31:2, 2 Chr 10:6 4 100 76 David kills the messenger 2 Sam 1:15 1 1 77 David killed, mutilated, and hung Rechab and Baanah 2 Sam 4:12 2 2 78 God helps David smite the Philistines from the front and the rear 2 Sam 5:19-25 2,000 79 God killed Uzzah for trying to keep the ark from falling 2 Sam 6:6-7, 1 Chr 13:9-10 1 1 80 David killed two-thirds of the Moabite POWs and enslaved the rest 2 Sam 8:2 667 81 And the Lord gave David victory wherever he went 2 Sam 8 - 10 65,850 66,850 82 David killed every male in Edom 2 Sam 8:13-14, 1 Kg 11:15-16, 1 Chr 18:12, Ps 60:1 15,000 25,000 83 Thus did David do to all the children of Ammon 2 Sam 11:1, 1 Chr 20:1 1,000 84 God slowly kills a baby 2 Sam 12:14-18 1 1 85 Seven sons of Saul are hung up before the Lord 2 Sam 21:1-9 7 3,000 86 David's mighty men and their amazing killings 2 Sam 23, 1 Chr 11 1,403 3,400 87 God killed 70,000 because of David had a census that God (or Satan) told him to do 2 Sam 24:15, 1 Chr 21:14 70,000 200,000 88 Solomon murdered Job and Shimei (per David's deathbed wish) 1 Kg 2:29-46 2 2 89 A tale of two prophets 1 Kg 13:11-24 1 1 90 Jeroboam's son: God kills another child 1 Kg 14:17 1 1 91 Jeroboam's family 1 Kg 15:29 10 92 Baasha's family and friends 1 Kg 16:11-12 20 93 Zimri burns to death 1 Kg 16:18-19 1 1 94 The drought of Elijah 1 Kg 17:1, Luke 4:25, James 5:17-18 3,000 95 Elijah kills 450 religious leaders in a prayer contest 1 Kg 18:22-40 450 450 96 The first God-assisted slaughter of the Syrians 1 Kg 20:20-21 10,000 97 God killed 100,000 Syrians for calling him a god of the hills 1 Kg 20:28-29 100,000 100,000 98 God killed 27,000 Syrians by making a wall fall on them 1 Kg 20:30 27,000 27,000 99 God sent a lion to kill a man for not smiting a prophet 1 Kg 20:35-36 1 1 100 God killed Ahab for not killing a captured king 1 Kg 20:42, 22:35 1 1 101 God burned 102 men to death for asking Elijah to come down from his hill 2 Kg 1:10-12 102 102 102 God killed Ahaziah for asking the wrong God 2 Kg 1:16-17, 2 Chr 22:7-9 1 1 103 God sent bears to kill 42 boys for making fun of a prophet's bald head 2 Kg 2:23-24 42 42 104 The Lord delivered the Moabites 2 Kg 3:18-25 5,000 105 A skeptic is trampled to death 2 Kg 7:2-20 1 1 106 God's seven year famine 2 Kg 8:1 7,000 107 Jehoram of Israel 2 Kg 9:24 1 1 108 Jezebel 2 Kg 9:33-37 1 1 109 Ahab's sons: 70 heads in two baskets 2 Kg 10:6-10 70 70 110 Ahab's hometown family, friends, and priests 2 Kg 10:11 20 111 Jehu killed Ahaziah's family 2 Kg 10:12-13, 2 Chr 22:7-9 42 42 112 Jehu and his partner kill the rest of Ahab's family 2 Kg 10:17 20 113 Jehu assembled the followers of Baal and then slaughtered them all 2 Kg 10:18-25 1,000 114 Mattan the priest of Baal and Queen Athaliah 2 Kg 11:17-20 2 2 115 God sent lions to eat those who didn't fear him enough 2 Kg 17:25-26 10 116 An angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers 2 Kg 19:34, 37:36 185,000 185,000 117 God caused King Sennacherib to be killed by his sons 2 Kg 19:37, Tobit 1:21 1 1 118 Josiah killed all the priests of the high places 2 Kg 23:20 100 119 Just another holy war 1 Chr 5:18-22 50,000 120 God killed a half million Israelite soldiers 2 Chr 13:17-18 500,000 500,000 121 Jeroboam 2 Chr 13:20 1 1 122 God killed a million Ethiopians 2 Chr 14:9-14 1,000,000 1,000,000 123 Friendly fire: God forced "a great multitude" to kill each other 2 Chr 20:22-25 30,000 124 God made Jehoram's bowels fall out 2 Chr 21:14-19 1 1 125 God killed Jehoram's sons 2 Chr 22:1 3 126 Ahaziah of Judah 2 Chr 22:7-8 1 1 127 Joash, the princes, and army of Judah 2 Chr 24:20-25 1 10,000 128 God destroyed Amaziah 2 Chr 25:15-27 1 1,000 129 God smote Ahaz with the king of Syria 2 Chr 28:1-5 1 10,000 130 God killed 120,000 valiant men for forsaking him 2 Chr 28:6 120,000 120,000 131 The fall of Jerusalem 2 Chr 36:16-17 10,000 132 The Purim killings: God hath done these things Esther 2 - 9, 10:4 75,813 75,813 133 God and Satan kill Job's children and slaves Job 1:18-19 10 60 134 Hananiah Jer 28:15-16 1 1 135 Ezekiel's wife Ezek 24:15-18 1 1 136 Oh! Susanna Dan 13:6-62 2 2 137 Judith is blessed above all women (for cutting off a sleeping man's head) Judith 13:6-10 1 1 138 The Judith massacre: hang ye up this head upon our walls Judith 15:1-6 1,000 139 Mathathias's double murder 1 Mac 2:24-25 2 2 140 Mathathias and his friends slay the wicked sinners 1 Mac 2:44 100 141 God killed Andronicus, the sacrilegious wretch 2 Mac 4:38 1 1 142 A Jewish mob killed Lysimachus, the sacrilegious fellow 2 Mac 4:42 1 1 143 God helped Judas Machabeus destroy the wicked 1 Mac 3:1-26, 2 Mac 8:5-6 800 4,900 144 Judas and his unarmed men kill 3000 of Gorgias's soldiers 1 Mac 3:44-4:24 3,000 3,000 145 The Hanukkah killings 1 Mac 4:34-5:7 5,000 17,000 146 The Machabees brothers slaughter the heathens 1 Mac 5:21-51 11,000 37,000 147 Nicanor's army: The Almighty being their helper, they slew above nine thousand men 1 Mac 7:32-47, 2 Mac 8:24, 15:27 147,002 147,002 148 Jonathan and Simon destroy the wicked out of Israel 1 Mac 9:46-49, 2 Mac 8:30-33, 10:61 1,000 1,200 149 Five heavenly horsemen cast darts and fireballs at the enemy 2 Mac 8:32-10:38 21,103 21,400 150 God killed Antiochus with an incurable bowel disease 2 Mac 9:5-28 1 1 151 Idumeans, traitors, and Jews in two towers 2 Mac 10:16-17 40,000 40,100 152 Nicanor's head: A manifest sign of the help of God 1 Mac 7:33-48, 2 Mac 15:1-35 35,000 35,000 153 Aliens at Cades 1 Mac 11:74 3,000 3,000 154 John burns to death 2000 in the tower of Azotus 1 Mac 16:10 2,000 2,000 155 God sent wasps to slowly destroy people Wisdom 12:8-9 1,000 156 Ananias and Sapphira Acts 5:5-10 2 2 157 Herod Aggripa Acts 12:23 1 1 158 Jesus Rom 8:32, 1 Pet 1:1820 1 1 Totals 2,821,364 24,994,828 https://dwindlinginunbelief.blogspot.com/2010/04/drunk-with-blood-gods-killings-in-bible.html