Margee

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Margee last won the day on January 30

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About Margee

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    'Madame Eve'

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    Learning how to be an ex-Christian and be comfortable with it!
    This is my 'Please Forgive Me' letter - It is my testimony and I hope it helps someone....You'll have to copy and paste.

    http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/44259-please-forgive-me/
  • More About Me
    Hi! I've come to you for a little help. I was a 'Fundi' for 30 years. I took the bible literally. The more I studied, the more questions I had. I became known as the 'pastors worst nightmare'. I asked too many questions. They (the church) continued to tell me just to have faith. It's been 3 years since I've gone to church. Nobody knows how I feel. How do you tell your friends and family that you don't believe anymore?

    It's been a long time coming. It all started when I read Charles Templeton's book,''Farewell To God-My Reasons For Rejecting Christianity''.(He was Billy Grahams dearest friend) His book answered just about every question that I ever asked when I belonged to the church, but they would not answer because they couldn't. I even went as far as having 3 phone conversations with Charles before he died and he sent me his autographed book.

    I have bargained, begged, cried, screamed and 'prayed' for God to give me the 'sign' that 'he' exists and it has not happened. I have prayed to 'him' in agony I've said to 'him', 'Don't you see, you're ready to lose me, don't you care'? I have gone as far as leaving letters to 'him' under my pillow (to reveal himself to me in a dream) so 'he' could see how sincere I am! How's that for being crazy?

    Sincere is what I have been! And I'm darn angry now!

    I started to study websites like 'evil bible.com' and 'Why God won't heal amputees?' I have dabbled with the law of attraction, psychics, astrology, energy fields, and every new age 'thing' a person could try to find a faith that might be more reliable than the christian god.

    If I ever even dreamt that I would be writing this letter.... The girl who studied her bible for years - I would have told you that the devil had complete control of me! I tried and tried and tried to make sense of this for all these years. I have heard horror stories of 'suffering' even within our own community of the church (let alone the whole world) and I always asked this God ; ''Why-Why-Why, can't you do something?? Can you not see what's happening down here? Can't you see how cruel nature can be? Don't you see what all these 'Holy Books' are doing to people down here? Can't you see the rapes, murders - the insanity of it all?''

    How does one deal with the pain of no God? My search is almost over - but - what now? So I don't believe in God anymore.... What now? How does one deal with this? I've read that some of you are 'free'. I don't feel that way. No afterlife - no seeing my only sister who died 13 years ago - no seeing mom or dad? No reward for trying to be so good all these years? How does one deal with this 'Dark Night of The Soul''?

    Thank you so much. Sincerely, Margee

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Non-Believer

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  1. Margee

    Samuel from SoCal

    Welcome Samuel! You're home. So glad you found us. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Take your time. Don't try to hurry. It takes time for the brain to unwind from all the cognitive dissonance of being brainwashed and now trying to form your very own opinions. It takes a few bumpy roads to go over first. It's kinda like grief. You're going to be OK. The gang here got your back. I could not have done it without these beautiful people. You got this! (hug)
  2. Margee

    Should We Expect a Higher Consciousness

    Good grief! What am I doing in the lion's Den?? It's my first pleasurable visit here. I like this topic. And nobody's really fighting?? What's up with that? LOl I just like the comments and find them all really interesting. I had a couple of OBE's and I tell you, it's a real spooky feeling to think that your own 'consciousness' can get out of your body and walk alongside you!! I had this happen. And no I wasn't drinking or toking. My body was walking and my 'soul' was walking with me. Too hard to explain. I'm a little crazy anyway. I admit it.
  3. Margee

    Not a vessel

    Welcome. I hope you enjoy the site. The malpractice you speak of is being brainwashed and told that we are all born sinners because of one man's sin. (Adam) And then the parenting skills will revolve around making the son or daughter aware of sin so much (so they can keep them on the right 'track' to god) that they end up living a totally guilty life because we continue to 'sin'. You were not born in sin. No such thing as sin. Right and wrong of course....but no sin as such. Genesis is a totally mythical book written by man. You are free! There wasn't any talking serpent!! (hug)
  4. Margee

    Should We Expect a Higher Consciousness

    I know that this is a circular discussion and I cannot deny that for 9 years on this site that I have been (deep down inside me) wishing for some real proof about where conciousness comes from. FFS, you would think in this age of intelligence that a 100% answer would be available instead of all these "theories". Does anyone know if anyone has an answer? What caused the big bang? Is Richard Dawkins the one with the answer? And why did we evolve to have a concious brain to know that we are going to die at some point? The animals don't have to "worry" about this, do they? So why us? Why in 2018 can't someone give us an intelligent 100% conclusion? If evolution is a 100% correct, then why can't someone come on the radio, TV, or social media, make the announcement and shut the whole religious communities down?? Grrrrrr. ..I find it so frustrating! ! I guess I'm still a bit agnostic . ..
  5. Margee

    Should We Expect a Higher Consciousness

    This could be a very good point. Look at all the different colonies of animals on the earth? Maybe they think they "know" more than us? Maybe we are doing the exact same thing as the ants? We're just another type of animal. But somehow we "think" we are smarter. May we all (living things) work by instinct?
  6. Welcome! Glad your here with us! But..but...but could you take that down to one paragragh and make it real simple for me?? I just got lost there. I might even be able to help!!!!
  7. Miss you so much Margee.  I hope you are well.

    1. ConsiderTheSource

      ConsiderTheSource

      So happy!!!!!!  Sorry about your last 6 months.  Been the opposite for me.  The last 8 months have been the best of my life.  Would of gladly shared the good stuff with you to balance out what you have been through 

    2. Margee

      Margee

      I'm  so happy for you! Life has it's  ups and downs. So glad yours is in the 'up'. Mine is gettin  there again! Enjoy every second of it! ( big hug)

  8. Margee

    How Do I respond to Christian Friend?

    Hi Jennifer! So sorry you have to work your way through this somewhat 'smug', so-called friendship with its christian issues. I just recently had to tell a friend who wanted to do 'coffee's' that we have nothing in common anymore. I said it in 'love'. And I have no desire whatsoever to have a friendship with her anymore. Those days are over. And your damn right that an agnostic/atheist will put on their running shoes and get away from these people who really only want to try to bring you back into the fold again. The whole phoney friendship will be on her terms only. You will not get a 'say'. I would tell her that she is right. (she'll love it when you say that! lol) Tell her that running shoes will take you away from having to listen to christian bullshit. Big (hug) hon. Let us know how it goes.
  9. Margee

    The weirdest thing is happening to me

    Ya think so, do ya?? Have you been keeping up with the news?
  10. Margee

    The weirdest thing is happening to me

    It's so good when the holy spirit speaks through a human. Yep. So much wisdom from humans in the bible. Psalm 137:9 ''Happy is the one who takes your babies and smashes them against the rocks!'' Stop cherry picking from the so-called holy book SB.
  11. Margee

    If

    This book was a life changer for me. It's a must-read for any addictive personality, in my opinion. The author who is a physician makes so many wonderful points that let you look at your addictions without shame. Best of luck honey. (hug) https://aslanpublishing.com/aslan/books/magnificent-addiction.html
  12. Margee

    For Ex-Christian Women

    For me, it was the constant worrying if I was pleasing 'god'. It so wonderful to be free of that! So glad you are here with us!! Hope you find all the liberation that you need here at Ex-c to lead a peaceful life! (hug)
  13. Margee

    Hello!

    Welcome to Ex-c, Questioning. We can all relate to what you are going through. You don't have to ever feel alone on this site. Keep reading all the testimonies and you will see that most of us arrived here with the basic same story. You're going to learn a whole lot of things here at Ex-c. We've got bible scholars here who will answer every question you have. These guys had studied the bible like no others. Post all your worries and concerns. There is always someone here to help you. So glad you found us! (hug)
  14. Margee

    Sex and Marriage: Bible Style!

    I think I would have loved to live in the old testament days!!
  15. Riven, here's mine all wrapped up in one letter I wrote to 'god' a few years ago.