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Authentic Christian Believer
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About BigToe

  • Birthday 04/12/1982

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  • Location
    your wildest dreams
  • Interests
    boys, sleep, cheese, ducks, sporks, bad movies, even worse music, and wearing my tiara & feather boa
  • More About Me
    I am a freelance filmmaker and writer. I eat cheese and love aquariums.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    i dont care

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  1. Mostly I think it is because a lot of people judge the whole because of the crappy ones they've actually dealt with. Stereotypes aren't fun and all that.
  2. I usually roll my eyes and walk on by. Last night though, the street preacher was surrounded by nice christian girls in dresses and long sleeves that were obviously praying. It was interesting to see. I have much better things to do on a Friday night than worry about the life of some stranger, let alone thousands of them.
  3. I guess it says something about how I was raised then. I've never been told I had to forgive anyone for anything. I've never been expected to forgive someone. Hell, I was even taught to only appologize if I really was sorry for what I did. And honestly, I've never heard that with forgiveness meant the wrongdoing was ok. I've always thought of it more as a tie that binds. With forgiveness I can break that tie. I no longer expect anything in return (i.e. forgiving a debt) and I don't have to really resent them. I don't see anywhere in there that I'd have to like the person or trust them. You can forgive someone for a crime they commit against you and wish them the best life possible but still not want to be part of that life. I don't think it is counter to forgiveness. But I guess it isn't what is taught with "real forgiveness" either. Which is weird. It seems unhealthy to want to buddy buddy up with someone who has done some huge wrong against you. But then, I've also never heard that being upset at someone's death after the funeral is bad either. I guess I'm glad because it means I'm not putting pressure on myself or others to meet those "standards" but it sucks for those who do.
  4. Hmm as for CF, you can deny or state your beliefs that are contrary to the trinitarian christians, but you can't endorse your beliefs. If that makes sense. But starting fights for fun is rather sophomoric at this point, isn't it? You go after the wrong person at CF and they'll haunt you all over the internet. Not really worth it.
  5. Hey honey, I hadn't heard from you in a while and thought I'd drop by here and see how you were doing. First is the obvious, you don't *know* that you won't go back ever. You aren't psychic. But not knowing that and beating yourself up over not knowing that isn't fair to yourself. What you *do* know is how much happier you are now. You also know how much pain it caused you. Those are two very real very easily identifiable things you can hold on to. And that's what you have to do. You have to weigh choices in life carefully to see which is best for you and makes you happiest. When you have those moments of wondering what it would be like, don't kick yourself. You aren't saying you want to go back. You aren't even saying that you are considering it an option. What you are doing is acknowledging that Catholicism was a part of your life for a long time. It is natural to wonder about it. It is probably very rare for someone to not change any aspect of their life that was a factor for a long time and not ever reflect on it. It doesn't make you weak or unstable in any way. All it does mean is that you are human. But when you wonder what it would be like, just also try to remember what life is like right now. And remember what it was like before. Side by side, which do you like better? That's a pretty good sign of your strength right there. But then, you know I think the world of you Rosa. You're a strong woman, give yourself some credit. And don't forget the *snuggles*
  6. I've never thought that when you forgive someone you have to trust them or like them. I have always thought forgiving someone else was something I did for me so I wasn't bitter about it. I forgave the guy that raped me (though he doesn't know it) because there isn't anything he could have done to pay me back for the pain he caused me and the wrong he did. That doesn't mean I have to ever talk to him again. And it certainly doesn't mean that I am ok with what he did. I've always thought forgiveness was more of a way for you to come to terms with what happened in a way that you know you'd never get any sort of indemnification. But then, I've never thought the one you are forgiving needed to know you forgave them. If they hurt you, they need to accept responsibility for what they did and live with that, for forever.
  7. I never prayed with the idea that it was to get a response or answer back. There are things in life that you can't easily identify who the responsible party is. There are things that don't have an easy target for certain emotions. I think for me, prayer was finding a way to place those things on something, however real or not. For example, I have a horrible habit of puting a bunch of blame and guilt on myself even when I know I have nothing to do with a certain situation. I do it to myself because it is easier to have something to blame or be mad at than it is to not have a target for those emotions. I've noticed that since I have stopped calling myself a Christian, I am actually praying a lot more. Why? Because I see it as a healthy way to lift up those emotions. Not up to a god of any sort (I haven't quite decided what I believe in that regard, but for now I don't believe one way or another) but lift those emotions up off of myself. Perhaps it is simply just up into the ether onto nothing at all. But I find it a healthy way to deal with things that aren't the easiest of things to deal with. But then, maybe that isn't praying.
  8. BigToe


    But I don't think it is out to destroy all of it. Have you read it? It is presented as fiction, which makes it safer to begin with. But it doesn't set out to debunk all of everyone's beliefs.
  9. BigToe


    Unfortunately, people don't like to see their beliefs debunked, so something like that would most likely be a huge flop.
  10. There is no hope, you WILL recover. Life seems to throw punches when you most need it to not, doesn't it? But don't worry today, eat some chocolate, look at cute bunnies, and snuggle with your honey
  11. Be kind to yourself. I think that was probably a good first step honey. And don't beat yourself up over this.
  12. *hugs* to you too, Rosa. You deserve to be happy. I really think if you want to enjoy Easter, you will find a way to enjoy it for the hallmark holiday it has become instead of what some Christians want you to think it is. I think Christmas will be the big hurdle for me this year. Our family is far from being very religious. We don't ever go to church except maybe every other year for Christmas. And we would always leave right after communion (the family is made up of a bunch of Episcopalians). So really all we are there for is some wine and pretty songs. That shouldn't be too bad. Our other family tradition is to have a bday cake for Baby Jesus (yes, we sing Happy Birthday Baby Jesus even though he'd be super old). I've certainly never thought if it as actually singing Happy Birthday to Jesus, but it will be interesting to see if my thoughts on it change this year. Christmas, like Easter, is a holiday that I don't think we can ignore completely. What with all the cards and decorations and candy in the stores. But I'm sure you'll be able to treat yourself and be happy. So have fun with your honey and his family. And eat lots of yummy food.
  13. I can understand. It is my first Easter not calling myself a Christian. My whole life, Easter has been my fave holiday. Not because of what it "means" but because I love the spring flowers and chicks and bunnies and painting eggs and everything. I'm not really into it this year. I don't know if it is because of the not being Christian thing, or the weirdness with my family thing. But it is weird. I suppose you can do whatever you want to do Easter. Claim you're busy with work and can't take time off to spend with your family. Or perhaps you have a friend who is having a rough time and you're spending it with them (you're your own friend, right?) For yourself? Get some chocolate bunnies and paint an egg or something. Take yourself to a movie. Sleep late. I think we can still enjoy a holiday without the religious aspect if we want to. And if not, treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure and call it a Spa Day.
  14. Well, I don't think that. I can see that any belief has consequences. Hell, just look at how certain people treat you for mentioning you believe a certain way that is contrary to their own views (religion, race, sexuality, linux or windows). Ideally, yes, I don't think they should have consequences in the way that they do. But they should have them. Beliefs shape who you are now and who you will become, and that is a very real consequence. One that I think should be there. And sure, I know it's hard to make a choice when you're dealing with conflicting emotions. Change is uncomfortable for many people. A different set of beliefs isn't what has been "normal" for you for however long your previous beliefs were in place. It isn't comfortable. But any sort of change can do that- from deciding you no longer want to be in an unhealthy relationship, changing careers, moving cities, changing your diet, or even changing your tv watching schedule. I think changing beliefs fits in there. Some people find it more difficult because there is more of an emotional charge and attachment (and sometimes a shift in perspective) for them towards their belief system than their tv watching schedule. My point was more towards if you're going to base a belief on something of an emotional nature, do what makes you feel good now, not what makes you feel bad now or what might possibly make you feel better later because of some vague reward you might get. Unless that's what makes you happy now. But those questions of "what if" mean that that isn't the case. So there is something in there that will make you happy. If keeping the same beliefs doesn't, then changing them will. Change doesn't always make people happy until it becomes habit, so there's going to be some overlap in that discomfort. That is normal. Hell, it's healthy. And that's cool too. It's a different approach for you, so it's actually good that you're noticing a difference. You aren't ignoring that you're changing.
  15. But that isn't true though. There are plenty of people who have thought about it a great deal and that's why they don't know! Not knowing doesn't mean you haven't contemplated the issue or even done research on it. It simply means you don't know.
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