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So, I still keep in touch with a couple of my Catholic school friends, one of which was the daughter of my old math teacher. Well, I really liked my old math teacher, so I asked my friend to have her mom give me a call. I get a call at work yesterday from my old teacher and after we catch up for a bit, she mentions that her daughter told her that I was an atheist. I'm like, "Yep." She also says that she remembers getting a letter from the Archdiocese requesting information about me in 2005. So I'm like, "I've been excommunicated since 1999... why are they asking about me?" She tells me that when Darth Sidious took over for JP2, he reworded the catechism so that only a doctor performing the abortion and the woman receiving it would be excommunicated. The driver of the car, the person funding it, and the nurses attending it would be held blameless, although they would be encouraged to go to confession and/ or choose another line of work. I'm like, "So, I'm not excommunicated?" She says, "No, everyone who was excommunicated latæ sententiæ for participation via funds or support in an abortion has now been reconciled with the church." Here is the doctrine: The word changed was, "formal." So I just finished the following letter and dropped it in the mail...
If anyone has a question about Catholic beliefs/practices/doctrine, I'll do my best to answer them. Questions about my personal beliefs and experiences are acceptable, but I may not answer some. Being that this is in the Lion's Den, it's fine to post comments, rants, accusations, etc,. Please don't expect a reply unless there's an explicit question(s) at the end of post. I suppose that, to a large degree, I'm doing this out of curiosity. I'm interested in knowing what people will ask and comment on regarding the subject. I also hope to clear up a misconception or two I've noticed while browsing the forum; I think everyone here agrees that knowledge is better than ignorance.
Here are the things I can't say to my family, or anyone I know in person. So, this blog will serve as a confession I guess. I get the irony of calling it that but as I've never been Catholic of gone to confession I hope you'll excuse me. And without further ado, Confession 1: Today my sister asked me why I've been so grouchy. She preceded that question by telling me not to take the question the wrong way; something I so often do (really, who doesn't?). My lie was that I wasn't feeling well. The truth? I'm still pissed with my dad. I can't tell her that because she doesn't understand. "You didn't want to talk to him anyway so why do you care that he didn't call back?" It's the principal of the situation (I picked up that phrase from my mom and have used/heard it so many times it's a wonder I'm not sick of it yet). He said he would call. He didn't. To make matters worse I have a history of depression which hangs on me like...insert proper simile here. I still have bad days and get a lot of crap from my family about it because they think I'm just being bitchy (honestly, I'd rather be a bitch than a crier). But they don't get it so they nag me or tease me(because it gets me worked up and they think it's funny) and that just makes it worse. Now this new crap with my dad is escalating and as I also have a history of self-harm (something at least one person in my family knows but has apparently chosen to ignore) I really want to cut even though I know I shouldn't. And as much as it kills me to ask a stranger for help, I'm thinking about getting an appointment with a counselor when I get back to school and trying to get back on anti-depressants. Hopefully mild ones, like last time. I'm not suicidal but I do need help. I'm the screw up in the family. Or that's how I feel. And now I can't even hide my depression properly because my mom noticed too and said something to my sister. I'm a grouch. A bitch. PMSing. So many adjectives. I wish someone could just understand for once and cut me some slack. Honestly, the "grouchiness" is probably from trying to keep everything inside. I tell my family a lot of things about myself(some more than others) but there are a few things that I keep hidden and they eat away at me or I don't tell them how I really feel. Then the bitch comes out. For now, all I have to do is get through the next two weeks without saying anything too mean or hurtful. Easier said than done.