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Dark Side Of Dork


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You know how there's all this talk about what a wondeful catch geek guys are and while there is so truth to it, for every wonderful guy there's at least three who are emmotionally immature "nice guys." (Some of these "nice guys" can be down-right manipulative if you turn them down. It's happened to me twice.) I guess that I'm just sick and tired of attracting "boys" instead of men and saddly the geek subculture has a large share of man-children and I need to blow off steam at my frustration. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of great geek guys, but I have to say my peace.

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You know how there's all this talk about what a wondeful catch geek guys are and while there is so truth to it, for every wonderful guy there's at least three who are emmotionally immature "nice guys." (Some of these "nice guys" can be down-right manipulative if you turn them down. It's happened to me twice.) I guess that I'm just sick and tired of attracting "boys" instead of men and saddly the geek subculture has a large share of man-children and I need to blow off steam at my frustration. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of great geek guys, but I have to say my peace.

 

Yep, and I'm one of the great geek guys!

 

Sorry Yaoi. Taken. :grin:

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This (kind of) geek guy hates to admit it... but there is some truth in the OP. :shrug:

 

It's not entirely true... but neither entirely false.

 

 

 

Of course that goes for everything, especially where dating is concerned, so... ;)

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'Tis true, there are some very immature geeks. Dating in the geek community is a hit-or-miss proposal. You're just as likely to get a dud as someone worth spending time with. Some geeks are that way just because no one really likes them and they're trying to fit in somewhere. There's often a good reason no one wants to hang out with them. 'Course, then there are geeks like me, who are just introverts. Gotta have my reading, computer games, and interweb.

 

I just wish there were more geek girls around here. Glasses are hawt.

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Grah, I feel your frustration. Every other Monday we have an "Anime Night" where my roomies and friends get together to watch Anime. I do this sporadically since I like Anime, but I'm not wild about it and I wanted to beg off of it because I wanted a nap. On of my geek guy friends who I dated once and decided we weren't compatible last night knocked on my door with a clear "DO NOT DISTURB....SLEEPING" sign on it to keep from being bothered.

 

His reasoning? He said, "Oh, I thought I heard typing. Did you want to come down to Anime Night?"

 

Yes, I was typing. It's been bloody hot and I was waiting to cool off a bit before I lay down. Sheesh, and people wonder why I didn't want to go out with him again.

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Just as a sidenote, does anyone else get shaken with urge to laugh his or her arse off when reading the thread title? :lmao:

 

"Dark side of dork", my arse! Weird idea... but cool! ;)

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Problem with being a nerd (or a former nerd) besides the being ugly/awkward part, is you tend to have little experience when It comes to relationships. I can speak for myself, at least. Being a dork when I was younger, I never dated or hung out with people that much, so I never learned how to interact with people.

 

Even if a dork gets better looking, learns hygiene skills, etc, it sill dosn't make up for the lack of relationship experience. People say I'm a good looking guy now, but even so, I can still have trouble interacting with women and such: a side effect of my dorky years

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No surprise really. Geeks typically dont have much experiance in dating, so thus the nice guy problem comes up. Im also somewhat of a geek, but far from the stereotypical one. Im far from being a "nice guy". I will often be nice but I can be pretty cynical too.

 

Its funny because the college I go to is a tech/art school. So almost all my classmates are nerds/geeks. Very few girls go to this place.

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Ha! like Mushroom man, I also went to a art school. (Art Institute of Phoenix) If you're the type of person who goes to college to get laid, find a sugar daddy, or party day n' night, thats not the place to go. I've never heard the words Naruto, Anime and World of Warcraft so many friggin times in my life.

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Ha! like Mushroom man, I also went to a art school. (Art Institute of Phoenix) If you're the type of person who goes to college to get laid, find a sugar daddy, or party day n' night, thats not the place to go. I've never heard the words Naruto, Anime and World of Warcraft so many friggin times in my life.

 

Don't be dissin' WoW, man... :Hmm:

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Problem with being a nerd (or a former nerd) besides the being ugly/awkward part, is you tend to have little experience when It comes to relationships. I can speak for myself, at least. Being a dork when I was younger, I never dated or hung out with people that much, so I never learned how to interact with people.

 

Even if a dork gets better looking, learns hygiene skills, etc, it sill dosn't make up for the lack of relationship experience. People say I'm a good looking guy now, but even so, I can still have trouble interacting with women and such: a side effect of my dorky years

 

Aye, there you have it. I have the same problem. I'm usually considered normal enough once someone gets to know me, but before reaching that point my rather less-than-refined social graces often make a mess of things.

 

Well, that and the fact that I love a good argument. I can't tell you how many people I've scared away when, in a discussion with some acquaintances, a topic of interest to me comes up and I boldly (and often foolishly) proclaim my stance on the issue--not quite challenging anyone to disagree with me, but surely hoping (in part) that they will. :wicked:

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I'm a nerd with superlative social graces from the outset. My problem is actually the reverse of other people's; I can be charming and witty at first, but once girls get to know me, I can't really be cool with them unless I am not interested.

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Yaoi Huntress Earth,

 

Just going by what you said about what you've been attracting, I have to ask...

 

What are you using for bait?

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Yaoi Huntress Earth,

 

Just going by what you said about what you've been attracting, I have to ask...

 

What are you using for bait?

 

I've been generally pleasant, friendly, and kind to others. It did attract a guy at the health store that would've worked if he didn't feel so strongly about wanting kids (it's something I really don't want.)

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YHE (if I may),

 

Quit making excuses, and just say what you want.

 

You're right. I've been doing a lot of thinking about it and I'm not a 100% sure, but I think low self-esteem, staying friends (ever since I was a kid) with people who either put me down, bullied (or let their friends ridicule me until I cried\lost my temper), dumped me when my novelty wore off, and/or abandoned me or did nothing when I needed them the most; social difficulties due to autism, and anger problems have something to do with it. I'm looking for a way out of it, I know it wouldn't be easy, though.

I just want a guy with a kind, loving heart, whose realtively attractive, not depressed, not pushy, has maturity and some direction in his life, at least one or two things in common (at least politcally), and maybe a little passion in his heart. Or am I asking for too much?

 

Before I forget, does not want kids.

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You're right. I've been doing a lot of thinking about it and I'm not a 100% sure, but I think low self-esteem, staying friends (ever since I was a kid) with people who either put me down, bullied (or let their friends ridicule me until I cried\lost my temper), dumped me when my novelty wore off, and/or abandoned me or did nothing when I needed them the most; social difficulties due to autism, and anger problems have something to do with it.

 

I have autism as well and I know how extremely difficult it can be to find a good relationship. It's as if the guys are totally capable of love when it comes to other women but with me, they lose the ability to act decent. I think part of the problem is not listening to myself when I suspect a person isn't good for me. I've learned to doubt my instincts since I keep getting people's signals wrong. So I either ignore them until it's to late or blame myself for being dumped on.

 

The thing is trusting yourself and knowing exactly how you want to be treated. If that person isn't good to you, then find someone who will be.

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You know how there's all this talk about what a wondeful catch geek guys are and while there is so truth to it, for every wonderful guy there's at least three who are emmotionally immature "nice guys." (Some of these "nice guys" can be down-right manipulative if you turn them down. It's happened to me twice.) I guess that I'm just sick and tired of attracting "boys" instead of men and saddly the geek subculture has a large share of man-children and I need to blow off steam at my frustration. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of great geek guys, but I have to say my peace.

 

Could you elaborate on how the people you are attracting are "Man-Children" and how they are emotionally immature? How specifically do they make you sick and tired?

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[

I just want a guy with a kind, loving heart, whose realtively attractive, not depressed, not pushy, has maturity and some direction in his life, at least one or two things in common (at least politcally), and maybe a little passion in his heart. Or am I asking for too much?

 

Before I forget, does not want kids.

 

Well, let's see. [examines your checklist] Kind, loving heart - check. Relatively attractive -hmm I am relatively attrative compared to Carrot-Top. partial check....scratch that, no check. :dumbo: Not depressed - well not depressed as much as dysthymic, but I'll say no check. Not pushy and some direction in life - let's give that a qualified check. at least one or two things in common - don't know you enough to make that call. Has a little passion in his heart -check, that I have (but you mean passion for what exactly :Hmm: ) , AND I DON"T WANT KIDS.

 

Tallying it up from random net geek (tis I) we have threeish to four out of eight.

 

All kidding aside your list doesn't seem that unreasonable. Whether anyone you actually know can qualify, though, is an entirely different matter. Maybe you should aim higher? :shrug:

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Yaoi,

 

I know you 'said what you want'ed, in this thread, but I meant say it in real life.

 

To the geeks, the freaks, the winners, the losers, and whomever you happen to meet. Just say what you want. you'll be smart enough to scope out their reactions and responses.

 

And don't settle for less.

 

 

 

 

:grin:

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