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What - An - Ass!


Fweethawt
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As I drove home from work this morning, I took my usual route. It's just one long, curvey road with a lot of small hills that pretty much takes me right to my own driveway about 25 miles away. This road has a few houses on it, but for the most part it consists of open fields, farmland and a couple of different ponds where a lot of Canadian Geese spend their nights.

 

Anyway, while driving home, I spotted what looked like a bunch of garbage scattered all over the road about a quarter mile ahead of me. I started to slow down for obvious reasons, and once I got up to the mess, I realized that it was actually the remains of seven or eight geese that someone had plowed through with their vehicle.

 

All but one of them were completely shredded and feathers were everywhere. The one goose that wasn't dead was just sitting there in the middle of the road. It was obvious that he got hit, too, but that he was unable to move.

 

A bunch of emotions flooded my mind as I drove around the mess. My first thought was wanting to kick the shit out of whoever did that. My second thought was to stop my car and pick up the live goose and take him to a local game warden office.

 

Then I remembered that I was already pressed for time to get home so that I could get my son to school on time. So I just kept going.

 

And I felt bad about it.

 

 

I have no idea what happened with the live goose, but when I came back into work tonight I could see that someone had cleaned up the mess to where you could hardly tell that it even happened aside from a few feathers here and there.

 

At that time, it occured to me that (with the odds being what they are) it was probably a Christian™ that killed those geese.

 

Gen 1:26
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over
the fowl of the air
, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

It took a person with a great disrespect for wildlife to do something like that. There was no way that it could have been an accident. Whoever did it, had plenty of time to stop and let them cross.

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May their offspring be born without eyelids.

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What a scumbag :vent:

 

There is no reason for that. Typical selfish asshole who probably drives like the world is his playground. I get them all the time here in NJ, worthless city trash who have to tailgate two inches behind you in their queer little sportscars and peel rubber as soon as they can get around you.

 

Where are people going in such a hurry? Do most Americans really think their worthless little lives and schedules are important enough to run living beings over for? I mean, yes, it could've possibly been an accident, but unless you're blind or stupid there's no excuse for that.

 

And those geese were probably more worthy of life than the dick who hit them :vent:

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I mean, yes, it could've possibly been an accident, but unless you're blind or stupid there's no excuse for that.
It was open road with fields on both sides, and it was plenty bright out this morning. The road is also pretty flat for about a half-mile before the point of impact.

 

And geese walk slowly. There's no way that many geese could run out in front of a speeding car or truck.

 

They were there. The guy saw them, and he probably said to his buddy, "Hey! Watch this!"

 

It wasn't an accident. It was some messed up fucker out to get some kind of sick jollies any way that he can.

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Awl! Ugh... there is something seriously wrong with people who abuse animals like that. Kudos to you for at least feeling bad about it.

 

That stuff makes my ears burn red hot.

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Guest Shiva H. Vishnu

When I was 18 I lived in a little town in Connecticut called Lakeville. As soon as the sun went down it seemed like the animals all just piled outta the forest and into the road to mingle. One evening I was driving home from a party on a backroad (they were all backroads around there) with a carload of people carousing and having fun. I rounded a hairpin at like 45 or 50 miles an hour, and into my headlights emerged an entire family of raccoons waddling across the road in single file. I breaked as hard as I could and tried to swerve but plowed over 3 of the little guys. We stopped, and the girls all just started bawling. I felt like shit but there wasn't anything I could do. Wrong place wrong time. We cleared the road and went home in a much more somber mood.

 

Maybe it wasn't the driver's fault, in the case of the ducks, or maybe it was. Animals get hit by cars all the time. It's sad, but it's just a fact of life.

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Your story reminds me of a story my uncle told me about, Fweethawt. He was telling me how one day he saw this mother duck on the side of the road with her ducklings in tow. Then, all of a sudden, this car swerved off the road and ran over the mother duck leaving her chicks running amuck. :ugh: Intentinal (sp?) or not, I don't know. Either way, that's an awful story.

 

Ya ever notice how (probaley) every hunter is a Christian?

 

Sometimes, I wish there is a hell. That way, these jackoffs who get their jollies out of hurting animals can burn forever in it.

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There are lots of Canadian geese this time of year where I live. That was definitely done on purpose. Geese move slowly, and if you give them time, they will pass. Unless it was in the dark, I highly doubt that was an accident, especially since no effort was made to help the one that was merely injured. At least run it over one last time to put it out of it's misery...

 

I firmly believe that animals deserve the same respect as humans. Yes, accidents happen and it's a fact of life that animals die, but this kind of thing is unexcusable.

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This story makes me want to recommend "The Culture of Make Believe" again, so I will. Read it.

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I got my lesson in road rage in college. I was coming home from classes and this ass in a Peugot was going 10 miles UNDER the speed limit. The jerk had 15 cars behind him and I was right behind him. My car had no working horn (this is a common plague with my cars, I've had four without working horns!) so I couldn't even honk at his ass. So we snailed along, he wouldn't pull over, and there was no way I could get around him and I was getting a worse and worse case of road rage.

 

The second I had the chance to blow around him, I was going to do it, and it happened to be by a pond. I saw there were several ducks crossing the road, but I thought I could get by them before they reached where I was. I ended up running over one in an explosion of feathers.

 

I felt really horrible for that, but I never felt a bump or anything hit my car. I felt so bad I went back to see if I had hurt any of them. There were a lot of feathers, but no blood or body, so I guess it went between the tires and all the feathers were shed in fright. I've been a lot more patient on the road since.

 

Because ever since then I've been haunted with the knowledge that somewhere out there...is a naked duck.

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Wow, that reminds me of an incident which happened to me while driving to school many years ago. While en route in very light traffic, a little dog suddenly decided to dart across the road in front of me. I immediately slammed on the breaks ; successfully allowing the dog to complete his trek safely across the road. However I got rear-ended from the person behind me. Luckily it was only a "love tap" and no damage was done..whew!

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This story makes me want to recommend "The Culture of Make Believe" again, so I will. Read it.
Hey Cheffy, if you happen to actually have a copy of this book on hand, would you mind taking a look at the excerpt from one of the reviews of that book and let me know what the sentence is that this guy is talking about?

 

Then on page 592 [talk about burying the lead!] Jensen almost offhandedly fuses it all into a single 19-word sentence that should change your perception forever. Partly because you won't believe the truth of that sentence without all the advance preparation - and partly because I want to lure you into reading the book - I'm not going to quote it. Suffice it to say that I feel I have finally seen things as they are.
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Ya ever notice how (probaley) every hunter is a Christian?

 

There's the potential for a very ugly situation developing out of this comment.

 

Trust me, you don't want to go there.

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Wow, that reminds me of an incident which happened to me while driving to school many years ago. While en route in very light traffic, a little dog suddenly decided to dart across the road in front of me. I immediately slammed on the breaks ; successfully allowing the dog to complete his trek safely across the road. However I got rear-ended from the person behind me. Luckily it was only a "love tap" and no damage was done..whew!
I don't know what the laws are in other states, but here in Ohio, you're almost better off hitting the animal than you are trying to avoid the impact.

 

In Ohio, if you swerve or brake while attempting to avoid hitting an animal and you end up causing an accident in doing so (this even means trashing your own vechicle ONLY by hitting something else), you get cited for reckless operation.

 

 

Ya ever notice how (probaley) every hunter is a Christian?
There's the potential for a very ugly situation developing out of this comment.

 

Trust me, you don't want to go there.

Yeah, Woody, I saw that, too. I have no problem with a genuine hunter, and I really hope that this thread doesn't get derailed into one of those arguments about hunter's ethics.

 

 

Maybe it wasn't the driver's fault, in the case of the ducks, or maybe it was. Animals get hit by cars all the time. It's sad, but it's just a fact of life.
I understand where you're coming from. Heck, I've hit animals with my car before.

 

I've even had my entire engine compartment peppered with feathers and loose meat that time that two pigeons flew in front of me when I was doing about 90 mph. Part of one of the pigeons bounced off of my windshield and flew back and bounced off of my buddy's windshield behind me. :HaHa: We slowed down, stopped, got out and laughed our asses off.

 

I mean, after all, what are the chances of having two pigeons fly out in front of you while you're doing 90? :HaHa: I opened up my hood because I knew that the majority of the two birds went through my grille (I think it was an 86 or 87 Caprice) and since the engine was still running, a bunch of feathers blew out as soon as I opened it. :lmao:

 

 

Okay, I know some of you don't think that was funny. I guess you just had to be there.

 

Anyway... *continues to read thread*

 

There are lots of Canadian geese this time of year where I live. That was definitely done on purpose. Geese move slowly, and if you give them time, they will pass.
They even speed up their pace when you slow down and stop for them. The ducks to it, too. (even the baby ones)
Unless it was in the dark, I highly doubt that was an accident, especially since no effort was made to help the one that was merely injured.
Nope! It wasn't dark. And there was daylight about an hour and a half or so prior to the time that I passed by. Besides that, although I've seen (and heard) geese flying at night, I've never seen them walking around (especially on the road) while it's dark.
At least run it over one last time to put it out of it's misery...
I didn't want to say anything at first, but yeah, that thought crossed my mind, too. :shrug: If I would have had a knife or a gun with me, I may have taken a minute to stop and do just that. (go ahead y'all, you can hate me now)
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Yeah, I understand Fwee. I don't know if I could put a knife to it or run over it, funny how a gun seems to be the only useful thing in this situation (for me).

 

And yeah, don't get me started on "real" hunters versus those who hunt for the kill, to watch the animals suffer, to feel the power of the gun. I would never hunt, although I guess I kinda sorta understand those who do and actually have a code to hunt by.

 

Chef, I am going to buy that book. I think I need to. Tell me, though... will I want to set my parrots free and never own a pet again after reading it? Will I feel guilty every time I buy something mass produced? Will recommending it to my sociology prof get me brownie points? ;)

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Guest Shiva H. Vishnu

I think hunting is awesome, but only if you do it with a knife and you're hunting something like a puma or a black bear. That's what makes you a real man. I killed my first grizzley when I was seven with a toad-poison tipped blowgun and I felt like a jerk. I realized then that the only way to really kill an animal in a manly way was to wrestle it to the ground and position yourself like you are going to dominantly mount it, and then you run your silky blade over it's neck with the grace of a capoeira fighter, tightly gripping the beast with your thighs, and as it gasps it's last, you must ceremonially put your index finger to your lips and shush it, as if to say "be still my dying friend. you will soon have an excellent view of my living room". Hunting kicks ass!

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:lmao::lmao::lmao:
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:lmao::lmao::lmao:
Oh shit!!! :lmao:

 

Ditto! :lmao:

 

Frikkin' ass ditto! :lmao:

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Everyone knows the type, we've all seen them, if not having been in the same vehicle with one. The kind of person who punches it when they see a cat or squirrel crossing the street as they say something stupid like "10 points!".

 

I can only hope these kind of people are their own punishment. I don't think a happy person would do such a ghastly thing.

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Dunno, their IQs are probably low enough to be much happier than you or I.

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I can definately sympathize with your pain, but you got to be careful with automaticly assuming the person who hurt that poor animal was a Christian. Disreseptecters of nature come in all shapes and sizes. As for hunters, even those who hunt for sport have a respect for nature by sparing fawns and does as well as not killing too many bucks. And there are those who hunt because they are too poor to afford much else even with the help of a garden. Those that care about what they take and give back are much different than the assholes who partake in canned hunting or crap like that. They have no respect for nature and are lazy cowards if you ask me. As the daughter of a deer hunter, I feel a bit strongly about it.

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Whoever did it, had plenty of time to stop and let them cross.

 

Is this one of your stealth puns, Fwee?

 

I'm picturing a goose, who realizing that road death is imminent, crosses himself in the manner of a Hispanic baseball player going to bat.

 

Sorry to inject humor into a serious rant, but it's how I cope with distress.

 

This avian mass murderer should have to pay for his fowl deed. What a birdbrain! It would be a feather in the cap of the game warden who arrested his flight from justice. The criminal should be given a bill for the cleanup.

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Everyone knows the type, we've all seen them, if not having been in the same vehicle with one. The kind of person who punches it when they see a cat or squirrel crossing the street as they say something stupid like "10 points!".

 

When someone does that, all you have to do is reasonably remind them that the points system is for human targets only.

 

This article lists the points system properly:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Race_2000

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