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Differently-minded Significant Other (not A Fundie)


Guest etoileterre
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Guest etoileterre

It's less an ex-Christian thing than a non-Christian thing. For those of you who haven't had the privilage of bantering with me, I am pagan. My boyfriend of over fifteen months is not. Actually, I don't know what he really is. We rarely talk about religion or spirituality. He says he was raised Catholic, and sometimes he comments on how he is a bad Christian, but more often than not he makes fun of organized religion. I know he believes in God, but not much else. It's not a very important part of life to him.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, of course. But I get a weird feeling whenever he sees my pentacle or I talk about my religion with him or knowing he reads my blog posts about it. He definitely doesn't condemn it...but I feel uncomfortable when he sees it because I don't know if it makes him uncomfortable. (Twisted, I know.) I want to ask him about it, and more likely than not it'll be an answer like, "Oh Jess, you worry too much. You know that doesn't matter to me."

 

Do any of you ever feel that, despite your significant other not caring about your alternative beliefs, that there's a need for more similar ones, if not identical? Not because you think him/her wrong, but because it's less...awkward?

 

I don't know if this makes sense, but it's been bothering me a bit for awhile. Not grounds for breaking up, of course...just maybe something to consider in a future relationship.

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My husband is a fundy, and quite honestly, I would much rather if were alike thinkers.

 

My social network is at a new-thought church and in a walking club I belong to. His social network is at church. Both groups are mutually exclusive, because I walk on Sundays when he is in church. He considers the people from my new-thought church "weird," and I don't want anything to do with the fundy-church's people.

 

So we are always alone and have no friends that we can be with when we are together. We don't argue about our beliefs, as we are not trying to convert each other, but still, it would be nice to be together on Sunday mornings sometimes.

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That's normal. I once dated a christian man who found my pagan beliefs, "weird" and "disturbing." I mentioned I thought the same thing about his, and that was the end of subject. He never made an issue about it and neither did I.

 

I don't know how important an issue this is to you, but it's bothering you, make the decision and act on it. Either sit down with your BF and tell him, "It's important to me that we discuss this frankly and honestly," or let it go if you decide it's not worth the effort. Don't sit and fret about it, or it'll just end up being annoying to yourself after a while.

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