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My Dad Sucks


pseudovillain
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I was stuck in the car with my dad for a while, and he was asking me what classes I'm taking next quarter. One of the classes is geology.

 

Dad: Ah... and the Grand Canyon was formed over a very, very long time.

Me: Yep.

Dad: When it was, in fact, formed over a very short time in the flood.

Me: *silence*

 

Fortunately, he didn't note the lack of sarcasm when I said "yep", but if I'm gonna be taking this class next quarter... it's gonna be really hard to pretend I believe in a young earth.

 

I can't have my parents yet knowing that I'm not a Christian. But I don't want them thinking I believe in a literal interpretation of Genesis, either. The problem is, they think a literal interpretation of the events in the Bible (save for whatever they feel like not interpreting literally) is crucial.

 

Anyone have any ideas on how to break the news to them that I'm not a "young earther" without them thinking I also reject the entire Bible?

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"Hey Dad..... "I'm not a "young earther" but I'm not rejecting the entire Bible."

 

how does that sound?

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Next time it comes up, just say "I don't believe in that," and brook no lip about it. Be polite, and explain your reasons just once. They'll try to draw you into debates about it, but don't fall for the bait (unless you really want to debate with them). Otherwise you'll never hear the end of it.

 

Or, you don't have to say anything at all. Let them think what they want and you think what you want. What you believe is your business, after all.

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I don't have a problem lying about my beliefs or having someone think I'm a Christian or have a Christian perspective when I don't. So, call me dishonest, I don't care. It's not anyone's business in the first place unless I want to make it their business. If they can't accept the truth, they don't deserve the truth. It's my truth, not theirs anyway.

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I agree with Taphophilia. It should be no one's concern what your faith, or lack of faith, is. I lie to my mom all the time about believing in god and Jesus; even though, at this point, I don't know exactly what I believe. I can't give a definitive answer. So just to make her life easier I fake christianity.

Of course I want to puke, violently, when I need to pretend that I still believe in satan and demons...But, in the end, it works for me. Call me weak or wishy washy but it work for now.

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Pseudovillain,

 

Parenting is not an easy job, and your parents are probably doing it to the best of their ability. Until you have kids of your own you have NO IDEA what your parents went through raising you. I would take it easy on them. Sometimes it's better to let people believe what they want to believe, and that includes their view of your faith (or lack thereof). Brutal honesty is not always the best policy, you have to weigh it against other people's feelings. For example, you may think your "dad sucks", but is there any point in telling him that? Would you actually say that to his face instead of posting it here on a board full of strangers? Probably not, unless you want to hurt his feelings and be a completely ungrateful child to boot. You could just continue your sample conversation like "Yep, that's what they teach", and deflect things so that you are never pinned down and forced to confess your real beliefs.

 

Unfortunately, given the title and tone of your post and sig, I get the feeling you have some animosity toward your dad and are merely waiting for an opportune time to vent. I don't know you, your dad, or your relationship with him, but unless he has been an abusive tyrant, I hope that by the time you graduate your maturity will allow you to appreciate your dad's efforts in a less cynical and confrontational light. Being able to turn the other cheek is the mark of a good person, unbeliever or not.

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I do intend to let my parents know about my deconversion, because I really can't stand pretending. It wouldn't be that bad if not for the fact that I am forced to attend church and Sunday school and all that crap. Plus, faith has been a bit of an issue when it comes to my boyfriend. They hate the fact that he's not a Christian, and tell me (not so much anymore, hopefully they've given up) over and over how it's not healthy for a Christian to be with a non-Christian.

 

I don't want to fake it any longer than I have to. Once I'm 18, I will come out.

 

ThePureOne: I have been thinking more maturely about "coming out" to my parents. For a while I wanted to do it in a rage and tell them that they really worship Paul, and I don't buy their stupid religion anymore, along with some other things that would have very severely damaged our relationship. I have since decided that it would be best to ease them into it.

 

And quite honestly, my personal beliefs about life, the universe, and everything, to me, are not a very private matter. I'm not going to go ranting and raving about them in the streets, but if I'm asked about them, I don't want to lie, and I don't feel like I should have to say, "That's not your business."

 

Having thought about the matter a little further, I don't honestly think that conflict is avoidable in telling them I don't think the creation stories in Genesis are literal. So I'll just have to think about it myself some more, as I know my parents, and all of you here do not.

 

Thank you for the suggestions.

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Having thought about the matter a little further, I don't honestly think that conflict is avoidable in telling them I don't think the creation stories in Genesis are literal. So I'll just have to think about it myself some more, as I know my parents, and all of you here do not.

 

Thank you for the suggestions.

 

You're welcome, thank you for your considered responses. You know your situation best, so I hope it works out well for all concerned! Good luck.

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I don't have a problem lying about my beliefs or having someone think I'm a Christian or have a Christian perspective when I don't. So, call me dishonest, I don't care. It's not anyone's business in the first place unless I want to make it their business. If they can't accept the truth, they don't deserve the truth. It's my truth, not theirs anyway.

 

I don't lie to my parents becasue I don't have to, but at work I have been known to tell patients I will pray for them, or I sometimes will say "God Bless" when parting ways with a patient who mentions God(and they often do). What the hell sometimes this atheist will say what people want to hear, and maybe that's what you must do with your partents. Keep your beliefs to yourself and everyone will be fine.

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