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How Evangelicals Deal With The Death Of People You Love Who Didn,t Believe


dibby
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I'm interested in what responses you may have had from fundies while in discussion with you, about the eternal state of people you love who have died, but were not christians.

 

The usual response I get is, "Well. You just don,t know what happened in the last few minutes" In other words they could have somehow miraculously converted to Jesus in the last seconds, and so made it.

 

But if really pushed on the issue then they are forced to defend their rediculous position of your loved one going to hell.

 

My sister died of cancer. The fundy answer to her final fate are just not up to it. She was not a born again believer. Neither was my friend Mark , who died at 24 years old. I love them and have fond memories of them. Does that make me more loving than god?? I certainly don,t want to go to "heaven" if they are not there.....how is it heavenly??

 

I spoke to a couple of "believers" about this issue. One said, 'God will be enough for you'. 'Not for me!', I replied. Another said,'God will wipe away the memory of former things'. 'Great', I thought,'Not only does god throw the people you love in hell, he even wipes out your memory of them!!' WHAT AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!!!

 

Anyone had anyone say any thing else?

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My father died when I was 13, and when I finally got out of my shell a bit more in high school (of course, with evangelicals), I would tell them how much I worried about him because he wasn't saved. At least I didn't think he was. They said that "God has a plan... he's using this to draw you to him." I believed it, too. I had some really twisted thoughts about why my dad died... I thought that God was my father, and that I needed no human male figure in my life. I though that I was overweight, and God made me that way, so people wouldn't date me... this was the only way God could act like a "father" should. I was fucked up for a while.

 

When my dad was sick, the evangelical neighbors would come and mow our yard and such, but not without a sermon to my dad first. One day he got really angry and told them all to fuck off, he didn't need his lawn mowed if he had to listen to their crap to get it done. In the hospital, he refused visits from clergy. However, my mom said he believed in "something," and was raised Methodist, but that he just wan't into organized religion. I think she told me this because she knew I thought he would go to hell if he wasn't "something." I miss my dad. :HaHa:

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Interestingly enough, it was a fundy response to this very question - what does gawd do with unsaved loved ones - that got the theological snowball rolling for me.

 

My father's parents were probably the most loving, caring, stable people I ever knew. They were certainly more loving and caring than my own parents were, and were probably the only source of truly unconditional love I received when I was growing up.

 

In the late 90's, my grandmother got lung cancer, and died of it within 18 months of treatment. My grandfather died of a broken heart less than a year later. Neither one of them were Xians, at least not in the way my devoutly fundy mother thought Xians should be. It's possible they were Xians of some kind, though they were never obviously religious at all; they certainly weren't evangelical fundamentalist types, and weren't born-agains that I ever knew.

 

To my mother's fundy mind, the key to getting into heaven after death was to say some version of the Sinner's Prayer, and recite some mumbo-jumbo about believing in Jesus as Lord & Savior. As far as she knew, they'd never done that.

 

I was a good little fundy at the time too. I remember talking about this with her, and the gist of the response I got was that we couldn't ever really know what they believed in their hearts, but if they didn't believe in Jeebus they were probably in hell.

 

In other contexts I heard the whole thing about how heaven will be so great that you won't miss your hellbound loved ones. None of it sat right with me at all, in fact it struck me as cosmically cruel that a deity who was supposed to be ultimate love would consign two amazingly loving people to eternal flames because they hadn't said the magic words - and then would make it so that I forgot those same people, or didn't care about them anymore, when I finally got to heaven.

 

I remember getting really angry at gawd after that. The anger afforded me permission to challenge and question what I'd been taught, and what I'd come to believe. I kept challenging and questioning even after I wasn't angry at gawd anymore - and whaddaya know, it led in the end to where I am now: an agnostic atheist.

 

Said fundy position drove me right out of Xianity altogether. Funny how that works...

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Your story reminds me of the neighborhood dads that woudl come and visit my dad in the hospital, and try to get him to say the Sinner's Prayer while he was doped up on pain and anti-anxiety meds. :HaHa:

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Your story reminds me of the neighborhood dads that woudl come and visit my dad in the hospital, and try to get him to say the Sinner's Prayer while he was doped up on pain and anti-anxiety meds. :HaHa:

 

Yeah, fundies are such chicken-hawks, aren't they?

 

That is one of the issues that helped drive me out of Xianity, too. I refuse to believe in a cult that only cares whether or not you're a fanatical member and pleasing to its god, not about the overall goodness of a person's life.

 

I used to hear the line, too, that "Gawd wil wipe out all the bad memories." I used to feel that was so horrible, that Gawd would do that. Why not just erase evil and sin and save everyone in one fell swoop?

 

And worse of all is when people still try to excuse this. They will still try to make excuses for a book and a religion that plainly teach that all non-pleasing believers will be eternally tortured. I really do question the humanity of such folks - right to their faces, usually.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'd rather burn in Hell™ with my loved ones than go to "heaven" without them. Luckily, since the Xian god is a fraud, I needn't worry about that :)

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Yep! We'll all make smores off the Pope's back, is what I used to say.

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