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"ill Pray For You"


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You know its the same ish a different day. See i dont ask for much. Im not forcing anyone to accept my views, im just asking that you respect my views. It seems that every time some black woman finds out that i am atheist, they look at me like i was Elton John marrying a woman. Yes im black, yes im athiest. why is this such a big deal to you? So then of course when they ask me why and i go into this long speil about who what why and how, the logic and reasoning of athiest, then argument goes as such.

Black Woman: Your an Atheist?

Me: Yes Im an Atheist

Black Woman: I'm sorry, wait but your black, didnt your mother teach you about god

Me: Actually i never had parents but yes i grew up christian

Black Woman: Then how could you not believe in God

(insert any logical argument here)

Black Woman: But we have free will

Me: Insert Free will argument here

Black Woman: Well I'll pray for you

 

I just want to throw his/her blinded ass in front of a bus, oh well i just wanted to know how everyone else deals with this.

www.myspace.com/greydonsquare

www.evilbible.com

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It's maddening, isn't it?

 

"I'll pray for you" is their way of saying that they have a total disregard for what you think or believe.

 

I think I'd answer - "please don't pray for me. Cross your fingers instead. It's been shown to be 17% more effective"

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I feel you, Greydon. You aren't alone. I'm black, too, and whenever it becomes known that I'm an atheist, people are even MORE shocked, because as a BLACK man I'm SUPPOSED to believe in god. Like it comes along with my skin color or something! I fucking hate that blanket assumption.

 

That and the resulting pity that comes along with it. As if I am deluded and in need of help or prayer.

 

If I wouldn't be arrested for it, I'd beat the snot out of everyone who pitied or prayed for me. I fucking despise stupidity!!!

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I simply say:

 

"If you feel you must. I, in turn, will feel sorry for you."

 

There is really not much else you can say to that.

 

I also feel compelled to say something when someone reacts to my atheism by telling me they will “pray for me.”

 

It feels dishonest to me to let them off the hook, sort of speak. I do want them to know that I feel sorry for them just as much as they do for me. When someone tells me they are going to pray for me, (admittedly this is not very often) I have responded with, “And I hope that someday you will recognize that believing in deity that holds humanity in contempt will never bring you true happiness.”

 

I refuse to let Christians walk away feeling smug!

 

 

IBF

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Grinch is black?! I musta missed that revelation.

 

I bet the women who say that are also the ones who say we're not supposed to marry outside our race. I wonder how many black people would still believe in god if they fully understood what got us all into christianity in the first place.

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Kinda interesting subject..

 

As a kid, growing up Southron, i expected ALL black people were Baptists..

 

Never expected to find someone black who was not a bibull thumpin' believer..

Wasn't in my experience to find anyone much less a black man or woman who wasn't hard.core.krazy.batshit.xtian..

 

Ever..

 

Living "Down South" it is damn near a requirement like needing oxygen, having a known religious affliction, err, affiliation to live......

 

Moved to Oregon while still teachable, found that "Gee, indeed folks of all stripe, color and creed mix with impunity and little barrier".

 

Fuckin' culture shock..

 

Pleased to know people find freedom despite sterotypes and man.made.bullshit..

 

k, large, mutt.mostly.white, green eyed, and easily pissed, L

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Well, I'm personally not as harsh as people here seem to be. I say a sincere thank you. Because (as you know being Christian at one time) it was an act of kindness and service to pray for someone that you didn't have the capacity to help. Albeit sometimes it was just lip service but it's something they feel that will help. And many times, for them, it does. This of course we all know.

 

But I typically redirect the prayer. I say, instead of praying for me, perhaps you could pray for my family and my friends, that they can recieve the love and peace that God promises, and that they can find whatever it is in life that gives them the most fulfilling experience while here in this life, whatever it may be.

 

And that is my point of view.. if Wicca bring you most happiness and fulfillment, then I wish that for you. If donating blood and collecting stamps does it, then I wish that for you. I suppose in my opinion, it doesn't matter, just be you and find fulfillment in the things that bring peace and joy and love into your life. As far as I see it, that's all we have, and it can be beautiful, but we're all different. If being Christian is what gives you the most peace, purpose and love in life, then I wish that for you.

 

That's why I say thank you to people who say they will pray for me. It gives them the sense of piety they desire, and really, at the end of the day, it can't really hurt can it. It's the thought that counts.

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Another nice smartass response to "I'll pray for you" is a polite "Hey, thanks! I'll be sure to think for you."

 

I think I heard that on this very forum, though I don't remember from whom...

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When I first registered to be a member of this website I didn't believe there would be ANY black people here. I thought I would be the inagural African American. So it shocked hell out of me to ee multiple black chatters.

 

Where I reside I don't know a single non-christian black person, NOT ONE. Sure, some of them might be club hoppers who do thing but smoke weed and goto the club, but you would be hard pressed to find one that didn't profess a belief in Jesus. Hell, you would have an easier time throwing a cotton ball into the ocean and hitting the lochness monster upside the head as opposed to finding non-christian black person.

 

I can't talk to ANY black people that I know without the conversation degenerating into religion. They will always find some way to evangelize and give a goddamn testimony about what DA LAWD brought em through. God forbid you try and have a discussion about books and Literature. They'll know nothing about Langston Hughes but they'll tell you how T.D. Jake's "The Potter's House" or "The Purpose Driven LIfe" got them of drugs and all that jazz...

 

In all honesty it frustrates the hell out of me. YOu can't even goto a grocery store parking lot without people testifying, loudly and belligerently, about DA LAWD...Who in the hell are you trying to impress?

To me Church in the black community doesn't have anything to do with God. They just g to show out and see who's th bigger christian.

 

Once my pastor gave sermon that went like this, " God meant for the colonists to kidnap The Africans. That was his way of taking us away from our pagan gods and saving our souls."

 

Listening to shit liket is reason I'll NEVER go back in another black church. I don't even want my funeral performed by a Baptist minister.

 

As it is I hope more black people start leaving christianity behind. It is so ridiculous how pervasive it is in the culture.

 

Off my soapbox!

 

As for the whole "I'll pray for you thing it is so condescending.If someone offers to pray for my sick mother then that is sweet. But if you pray for me for not believing like you then screw you.

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I haven't had someone say this to me directly, in since I can't recall. A fortunate thing for them. It is a complete violation of my personal space and dignity, like them coming into my home and telling me how to live my life.

 

My response would be something to the effect of, "Thanks, and I'll offer enlightenment to your wife what she is missing in a lover." Or if it is a woman, then I would offer her the suggestion she is needs something better in her love life. Offensive? Yes, but no less offensive that telling someone they need prayer when clearly they are happy and not asking for it (I would never actually say this, but it makes the point).

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I am Latin and I am a coward... (boy that sounds like a 12-step meeting).

 

Anyway, I know what they are going to say, and I am afraid to murder some idiot or to traumatize them with my yelling, so I stay in the closet.

 

Ah the Latin people can be stubborn and nosy. So, I play along. I do not tell anyone what beliefs I hold. However, I am not proud of my cowardice. I wish I could have lots of self-control and calmly express my rational arguments. But unfortunately, I lose it, it ruins my day, and I feel aweful.

 

So, in the closet I stay.

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Guest Mr. XC

Once my pastor gave sermon that went like this, " God meant for the colonists to kidnap The Africans. That was his way of taking us away from our pagan gods and saving our souls."

Wow. That is like saying that God murdered the Jews via Hitler so that they can get to Heaven quicker.

 

I am Latin and I am a coward... (boy that sounds like a 12-step meeting).

 

Anyway, I know what they are going to say, and I am afraid to murder some idiot or to traumatize them with my yelling, so I stay in the closet.

 

Ah the Latin people can be stubborn and nosy. So, I play along. I do not tell anyone what beliefs I hold. However, I am not proud of my cowardice. I wish I could have lots of self-control and calmly express my rational arguments. But unfortunately, I lose it, it ruins my day, and I feel aweful.

 

So, in the closet I stay.

Coward or not, it certainly does save a bunch of time and effort as it takes quite a bit of time and effort to have to explain myself. So playing along is not bad from my point of view, unless if I had a bunch of time to spare and I would be board doing anything else.

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Ah yes, "I'll pray for you," the self rightous and polite euphimism for "You deserve nothing but pity, you silly, stupid, pathetic heathen scum."

 

I usually say in an 'I don't care' voice, "Hey, whatever blows up your skirt."

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Whenever I hear "I'll pray for you" I'm tempted to reply "Okay, but be very, very careful what you think when you do so. Because it's you who's going to be the recipient of that prayer, not me."

 

I treat unsolicited religious sentiments just like junk mail and flyers -- I recycle 'em.

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Guest capitalist

A Christian coworker once asked me how I was adjusting to moving from one state to a nother to take a new job. I had been staying in hotels, but eventually found a place. I thanked him for his concern and his previous offers to let me crash on his couch (which I politely turned down). He then told me that he was a lay minister at his church - a kind of volunteer pastor who has no formal training, but assists in formal church duties - and that he had me on his weekly prayer list.

 

I immediately conjured an image of him mentioning me, even somewhat anonymously, during the prayers he led in service. And I felt insulted. I can't quite explain why, but I was instantly furious. I was able to contain the anger - thanks to an upbringing by emotional stoics - but my blood was boiling I put some thought into it, though, and while I can't isolate the cause of the anger reaction, I realized it was a useless thing to react emotionally. It wastes my time, and on some level surrunders some authority to them. That is just unacceptable; anger is indicative of a positive response ... what I needed was apathy.

 

So my way of dealing with that is to say politely "Thanks for your concern" and leave it at that. If they have a good sense of humor, you might keep the mood light by adding "hey, let's test the results of that prayer in a month, okay?", but not if they're being ultra-serious.

 

The thing to always keep in mind is that, unless they are capable of discussing your atheism rationally and calmly, you'll never change their mind. You cannot change what they do on their own time and on their own turf, so if they want to waste their time talking to thin air about you, let them and don't give it another moment's pause.

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You know its the same ish a different day. See i dont ask for much. Im not forcing anyone to accept my views, im just asking that you respect my views. It seems that every time some black woman finds out that i am atheist, they look at me like i was Elton John marrying a woman. Yes im black, yes im athiest. why is this such a big deal to you? So then of course when they ask me why and i go into this long speil about who what why and how, the logic and reasoning of athiest, then argument goes as such.

Black Woman: Your an Atheist?

Me: Yes Im an Atheist

Black Woman: I'm sorry, wait but your black, didnt your mother teach you about god

Me: Actually i never had parents but yes i grew up christian

Black Woman: Then how could you not believe in God

(insert any logical argument here)

Black Woman: But we have free will

Me: Insert Free will argument here

Black Woman: Well I'll pray for you

 

I just want to throw his/her blinded ass in front of a bus, oh well i just wanted to know how everyone else deals with this.

www.myspace.com/greydonsquare

www.evilbible.com

 

Of course I would politely say "thank you" and drop it.

I would really be thinking take your fuckin prayers and shove em where the sun doesn't shine. A lifetime of fuckin prayer did one thing for me. Waste time.

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You might as well get used to it. That's what Christians always say when you tell them you're not a member of their cult, no matter if you're atheist, agnostic, pagan, whatever. Everyone who's not a Christian must be prayed for to be brainwashed, according to them.

 

:ugh:

 

You can come back with witty remarks, but they aren't going to change their minds, sadly. I usually just say something like "okay, whatever" and leave it at that.

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Another nice smartass response to "I'll pray for you" is a polite "Hey, thanks! I'll be sure to think for you."

 

I think I heard that on this very forum, though I don't remember from whom...

 

Slightly off topic, but your post reminded me of a cute bumper sticker I saw a few years back:

 

"Don't Force Us To Pray In Our Schools, And We Won't Think In Your Churches"

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I've always wondered how so many African-Americans could so fervently embrace fundie christianity, when from its origins it has been a religion that promoted slavery. Indeed, the bible was used in pulpits to defend the slave labor system in America in the 19th century.

 

As far as that irksome "I'll pray for you" remark goes, I usually take that as an indication that the xian is not prepared to discuss the matter rationally, and that they're giving up. Fine with me. "Knock yourself out" seems an appropriate response.

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This is why i love this site, i want to thank everyone for thier insight, continue to think for yourselves...

Greydon Square

Grand Unified Theory

www.myspace.com/greydonsquare

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I've always wondered how so many African-Americans could so fervently embrace fundie christianity, when from its origins it has been a religion that promoted slavery. Indeed, the bible was used in pulpits to defend the slave labor system in America in the 19th century.

 

That, OR Islam, which was used pretty much for the same purpose by the Islamic traders that rounded up Africans for the slave trade in the first place. And yet those are the two biggest religions among black people in America. Go figure.

 

I'd go with regular ol' native African religion myself. The dances are awesome.

 

And while "I'll pray for you" is annoying and condescending, at least we can know that they won't actually do so. While I never said that to a non-believer during my Christian tenure I did say it to people who were going through a crisis (grandma's sick, whatever). But I never remembered to do so.

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I was cornered by three women in an elevator once. I was wearing a shirt that read, "If Jesus comes back, we'll kill him again."

 

They took enormous offense to it and began berating me incessantly about how dare I insult DA LAWD and how they WAS GOAN PRAY for my soul.

 

I asked them why they would pray for me since I was so insulting to their faith. None of them could give me a good explanation and they all kind of sputtered out until one asked me, "Well, why ya'll wearing that shirt, anyway?"

 

I told them I was Jewish and if we could take him out once, we could do it again.

 

The expression on their faces was absolutely priceless. I wish I could've videotaped that whole exchange.

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