Sideswiped By The Movie "click"

[AgnosticBob AtheistPants]

I wrote this to post on my LJ, but I wanted to post here too. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for in reply. I wonder if this type of thing may have happened to anyone else. Maybe a little amateur psychology too. Any suggestions on things I can do to handle my situation better would be useful. That said, if you haven't seen "Click" and want to, don't read this til you have.

 

I’d been seeing commercials for the movie “Click” with Adam Sandler for several weeks if not months. It looked like it might be entertaining, so I made a point to go see it when it came out. I was not expecting what happened to me in the middle of it.

 

Click is a cute story about Michael, a guy with too much on his plate, or so he thinks. He gets mad late one night because he can’t figure out which remote to use for the television and goes out to find a universal remote. He ends up in Bed, Bath, and Beyond because it’s the only store still open. He passes through the Bed area, the Bath area, and comes to the “Beyond” area where he meets Morty. Morty looks like a mad scientist type, an inventor of things that need inventing. Michael asks for a universal remote, and boy does he get one. This remote is truly universal, controlling anything Michael wants to control. He finds great pleasure in the fast forward function as it gets him out of doing a lot of the crap he dreads. Unfortunately, while he is zipping through the drudgery of life, everyone else is plodding along…and having to deal with his “auto-pilot” self, a cold, no-nonsense version of himself who often comes across as rude and pretentious. The remote doesn’t let him interact on rewinds, so once he’s done a fast forward, he’s stuck with it. The remote has another major flaw. It remembers the choices you make and begins to make choices for you based on your past actions. For example, Michael fast forwards through sex so he can get back to the important project he has to complete (yes stupid…what man would fast forward through sex?) and the remote remembers this. From then on, whenever he is about to have sex, the remote fast forwards him through it. So, you get the idea. Michael fast forwards through his projects, then through all the work it takes to get his promotion in the architectural firm where he works. This turns out to be a lot longer than he had expected. But now the remote has in its memory that Michael wants to fast forward through work and it keeps zipping him forward. He loses his wife, the true love of his life to some goober that coached his son’s swim team. He misses out on his kids growing up. He is finally in the hospital because of…well I’m not quite sure what…I missed a bit of that part and will explain why later…and his son is about to leave on his honeymoon. Oh yes, Michael had collapsed at his son’s wedding. More on that later. So his son is leaving on his honeymoon from his dad’s hospital room. I can’t remember the specifics here, but I think the son got a call from his boss telling him he had to complete a project so he was postponing the honeymoon. Michael gets upset and tells him not to, but the son is adamant, telling his dad that his wife understands. Everyone leaves the room and Michael finally has had enough. He pulls all the wires from him and slowly crawls out of the bed (he’s apparently in his late 70’s or so by now). He painfully makes his way after his son out into the rain and collapses in the road a few yards behind the son’s car. The son just happens to see him and runs to him. As he lays in the road dying, he utters his last few words to his son. “Family….first. Honeymoon.” After a few more touching sentiments, Michael dies in the middle of the road surrounded by his family. The end. Okay not really. He then wakes up in a bed at the Bed, Bath, and Beyond where he got the remote. He’s back where he started and gets to do it all again, a la “A Christmas Carol” and “It’s a Wonderful Life” style.

 

NOW. My whole point in this post is this. During the entire first half of the movie, I’m a little depressed because I know exactly what this guy is going through. I feel like I’m living this guys life because my kids live so far from me that every time I get to see them, it’s like time has just been fast forwarded and I can never get any of it back. I do my best to keep in touch with them and see them as often as possible, but it’s just not enough. So I’m already sad throughout what is supposed to be a funny movie. Then the scene at the son’s wedding comes. What brought Michael to his knees in this scene was his daughter dancing with his ex’s new husband. They stop, the step-dad tells the daughter “Let’s go get some cake.” She replies, “Okay, Dad! I’ll race you!” Michael had a stroke at that point…and I felt a wave of nausea overcome me and then I burst into an uncontrollable bout of sobbing. It was more than a little embarrassing, weeping like that in the middle of a crowded, opening night movie theater, but it couldn't be helped. In that scene, I saw the culmination of my relationship with my children. Another man will be “Dad” to my children. I will always be their father, and they do still call me Dad and Daddy, but someone else is there with them every day and every night. Someone else reads them a story and tucks them in at night. Someone else calms them when they wake up from a bad dream. Someone else kisses their “booboos”. Someone else does all the Dad things I’m supposed to do. I’m so distraught over this. It all happened because I couldn’t stand to be with their fundamentalist mother any more and then I couldn’t stand to be in that fundamentalist town any more. I looked for jobs closer to them, but there was nothing available. I also had my girlfriend in L.A. It was like destiny or something that no place had any jobs available for me but L.A. I also know that I would have been absolutely miserable living in the southeast for the next 15 years. And if I was miserable, when they came to be with me for their visitation, they would be miserable too. My only hope is that when they get older, they may decide that they want to come live with me over living with their mother. I hope beyond all hope that this does become the case.

[Guest Shiva H. Vishnu]

I'm sorry about your predicament, AA. I don't have kids, myself, but I do have a Dad, and it's been kinda painful as an adult to see the way he behaves with his step-children, and how they really respect him as a father figure, and he delights in them in a way I don't see him doing with my sister and me, and never did. Neither of us is married or has children and it's not liklely to happen anytime soon, so the fact the his stepdaughter has 2 beautiful kids that are now his grandkids sometimes makes me feel like he's given up on our family and settled into his new one.

 

I have a step-mother, and personally, there is nothing she could ever do to make me call her "mom". I have a mom, and my step-mom has kids, so let's not pretend. She's my step-mom, and nothing more. I love her, but she's not my mom. I say this to encourage you that, as long as you make your best effort to be a part of your kids lives, nobody can take your place as their father. Moving 2000 miles away without them wasn't necessarily a great idea. You're just going to have to work that much harder now.

[Fweethawt]

For what it's worth, I have two sons that I see every day and I still carry a burden of guilt for lost times due to working and sleeping all of the time. I work nights, so I'm asleep a good part of the day.

 

I can't stand it when I hear that Cat's In The Cradle tune. (I can't think of the title or artist at the moment)

[AgnosticBob AtheistPants]

For what it's worth, I have two sons that I see every day and I still carry a burden of guilt for lost times due to working and sleeping all of the time. I work nights, so I'm asleep a good part of the day.

 

I can't stand it when I hear that Cat's In The Cradle tune. (I can't think of the title or artist at the moment)

 

Ugh, yeah that's a rough one. It's Harry Chapin and that is the name of the song, Cat's in the Cradle. His brother is noted to have said that that song put more father's ill at ease than any other in history. That one and one that used to get me even when I was still living with them bring tears to my eyes...Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle.

 

God, I just read the lyrics to that one for the first time in a few years and I could start bawling again right now. It's "Christian" in nature, but overall it's just about a father and his love for his daughter. I just hate the parts about the mother. I hope she looks nothing like her mother. Currently, she looks just like my aunt and my little sister did at that age.

[The Sage Nabooru]

I haven't seen it yet so I skipped the first post, but I do have a question - was it good?

[apostasist]

I never cry at movies, not ever. But when he was in his office replaying the last time he saw his father, I almost died. My parents were with me in the theater, and I felt so sad, just thinking of how they're getting older and hoping I don't regret the last time I see one of them.

 

I loved the movie though. Very touching, unexpectedly.

[Antlerman]

I wrote this to post on my LJ, but I wanted to post here too. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for in reply. I wonder if this type of thing may have happened to anyone else. Maybe a little amateur psychology too. Any suggestions on things I can do to handle my situation better would be useful.

I just noticed this post today. I have some personal experience with this I can share with you if you are interested. I don't have the time at this moment but wanted to bump this thread up to see if you are still interested? I lived through this for the past 20 years of my life.

[AgnosticBob AtheistPants]

I wrote this to post on my LJ, but I wanted to post here too. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for in reply. I wonder if this type of thing may have happened to anyone else. Maybe a little amateur psychology too. Any suggestions on things I can do to handle my situation better would be useful.

I just noticed this post today. I have some personal experience with this I can share with you if you are interested. I don't have the time at this moment but wanted to bump this thread up to see if you are still interested? I lived through this for the past 20 years of my life.

 

Absolutely, Antlerman. I need all the help I can get. I'm sitting here with my stomach twisting into knots because in one hour I leave for a court hearing over whether or not I can get my kids for three weeks of visitation this summer rather than two. I hate my ex for doing this. I can't believe that she really thinks she is doing this for the best interests of the children. Is it in the best interest of the children not to really know their father? I don't think so.

 

Anyway, again, yes Antlerman. I'd love to hear your experience. If you don't want to post it in the open, you can PM me. I think my email address is listed. If not, tell me and I'll make sure I get it listed.

 

Thanks!

 

 

I haven't seen it yet so I skipped the first post, but I do have a question - was it good?

 

Sage,

 

Yeah, it was cute. It wasn't REALLY along the vein of Sandler's other movies, but it did contain some classic Sandlerian humor. I won't go into any more than that. It's worth seeing in the theater, but I'd try to make it to a matinee if possible. Not REALLY worth the full price ticket.

[Antlerman]

Absolutely, Antlerman. I need all the help I can get. I'm sitting here with my stomach twisting into knots because in one hour I leave for a court hearing over whether or not I can get my kids for three weeks of visitation this summer rather than two. I hate my ex for doing this. I can't believe that she really thinks she is doing this for the best interests of the children. Is it in the best interest of the children not to really know their father? I don't think so.

Don't know if you'll see this before you do the court thing today. No time to put together much right now, but as a quick anything to say for right now at this minute that is worth anything, the most important thing at this time is that the eyes of the court is primarily interested in the welfare of the children, and so should the both of you. Even if she is an evil witch in your eyes, try your hardest to look past it and give all your best constructive and productive abilities to give the best you can for the kids. Let that focus be your motivations and it will come across. Get angry in your own time later.

 

I'll talk much more with you later, and I know what this feels like. We survive.

[Antlerman]

Ok, I'll try to put some thoughts together now for you. I hope today's court experience wasn't too difficult for you. I recall the pain of these sorts of things very poignantly, so it is hard for me to put myself into your shoes right now. I don't know if anything I have to say can really help what is difficult no matter how you slice it.

 

I should ask you how raw this separation/divorce and being away from your kids is?

 

When I was going through this with my son it was a world of utter darkness for me. You can read a little about what happened in my "testimony" in parts 2 and 3 of it on this topic: http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?showtopic=6730 I don't go into detail with it as far as my feeling about it specifically, but it's a little more background. She and I separated one month before his 3rd birthday.

 

During the time he was here, she made visitation with him a great and painful difficulty for me. As I finally went through legal battles with her and was able to move ahead with seeing him, my attorney announced she wanted to move him out of state 2000 miles away from me, and that she had gotten a Doctor to say that the climate of Arizona would be beneficial to his allergies. With my finances as they were at that time, I could not afford to fight an expensive and painful battle beyond what I already had been through. His advice was to negotiate with her for compromises in exchange for not fighting it. I followed his advice.

 

I tried my best to make the most of it and trying to get him to fly up to see me, as a trip down there was beyond my means between airfare, hotels, car rentals, etc, etc. I was then confronted with a response from him that airplanes were not safe, that they were "over 20 years old since they done repairs on them and they were dangerous." These were the words of his mother I had heard her say in her phobic world views.

 

I did manage to sweet talk him into flying up that year, talking about how much fun it would be to fish for sun fish, and crappies, and swim, etc. The following year the fear of airplanes grew stronger; the following year again after that; the following year after that; the year again after that.

 

My relationship was a phone relationship with him. Yet every single time I spoke with him, I felt that bond I felt with him those first 3 years I was with him. That unique and powerful love was never, ever absent, both in his voice or in my heart. Yet, then I hear from him questions about why I was so terrible when he was a little child. Why I did certain things when I was a teenager, things that he of course had no knowledge of from me.

 

Yet I kept my tongue for his sake and bore it. I would not take the mind of an 8 year old and tell him how fucked in the head his mother was. How would that be helpful to him? Then the dreaded, "My dad said to at me...." came. He was referring to his now step-father. Dagger in the heart, on top of daggers, on top of daggers, on top of daggers. It was so hard for me to talk with him and not let him hear my pain. I could not lay that on him. He was 10 years old now. I couldn't do that to him.

 

I quit calling him. After almost a year or so of not talking to him the pain got worse for me. I couldn't talk to him because it was too painful; I couldn't not talk to him because it was even more painful.

 

By now I was with someone else in my life and it was helpful to have her support. I was now in a position to go to see him without the need for him to fly. Things picked up again with him, almost as though having not skipped a beat, except I was more settled now. The following year he was willing to fly up and did so.

 

As he turned into his teen years I began sharing more about my feelings with him, because he was old enough to deal with the contradiction to his mother's accusations against me. He could decide for himself and I owed him and our relationship to be honest with him about my feelings. Of course, this is no excuse to bad-mouth his mother, and if I ever crossed that line he would say something as he was becoming a young adult. My being honest with him was helpful for me and to move forward into building a relationship with him as an adult.

 

He is now 23 years old and is a fundamentalist. We have "interesting" arguments if you can image

 

The point of all this history is that through all of it, the power of that bond I felt with him as I poured my life into him as a young child before we separated, has never diminished one moment in all the phone conversations with him throughout the years, the rare times in person with him, the letters, emails, IM's, all of it. The love I hear in his voice to me, the admirations, and the bond is never lessened, nor even competed with by another "dad" in his life.

 

I am his father, as faulted of a person and father as I am without the daily duties of child rearing, but he always accepts me. It's a struggle for me to define this role in his life, but he accepts me.

 

I looked ahead down the years 20 years ago, trying to image what life would be like without him and seeing only despair and darkness, yet my love for him pushed me through to the next day, and to the next day, and the next year. Life came to me in ways that shaped and molded me into the person I am today, and what I give of who I became to my son is the best gift I could give him, even though I wasn't there in the ways the romantic ideals we all hoped for.

 

I found life. I found myself. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't all the bleak despair my pain put in front of me. The strength is in you. You will find a new truth and it will be what you create.

 

I hope this wasn't too depressing, and maybe offered something useful to you. I certainly feel for you, and wish hope and strength to you. Set your mind to making what is, the best it can be, rather than to what you wish it was.

[AgnosticBob AtheistPants]

Don't know if you'll see this before you do the court thing today. No time to put together much right now, but as a quick anything to say for right now at this minute that is worth anything, the most important thing at this time is that the eyes of the court is primarily interested in the welfare of the children, and so should the both of you. Even if she is an evil witch in your eyes, try your hardest to look past it and give all your best constructive and productive abilities to give the best you can for the kids. Let that focus be your motivations and it will come across. Get angry in your own time later.

 

I'll talk much more with you later, and I know what this feels like. We survive.

 

I did get to read it before I left. Thanks. I didn't get my three weeks this summer, but at least I do know that when it goes back to court, my visitation WILL be increased. The judge made that clear to my ex's attorney. His aim was to get us to work things out ourselves without having to go to court, but she'll never give me what I want which is the entire summer. I would settle for 6 weeks, but she won't give me that either. I believe the highest she'd go is four weeks, and she'd be reluctant to give that. So it will go to court. And I'll ask for the entire summer. And if I get it, great! If I get 6 weeks, great! If I get less than that...I don't know. I might have to appeal if I'm only awarded 4. I guess I would think about 5, but I really don't want less than 6.

 

What a pain in the ass this all is.

[Taphophilia]

My situation is kind of opposite, but it might give you some hope. My children long for a relationship with their father, who is a piece of shit. It doesn't matter what kind of asshole he is, he's thier father. He told his own daughter to go fuck herself, she was 12 at the time, because he was in town and she wanted to see him. After all, he was on vacation, how dare they ask to interupt his fun in Florida. Even through all the drama he puts the kids through, they hope for the day he might decide to have some kind of relationship with them. He sent my son a cheap fishing pole and $5 for bait for his birthday. It was from Dad, so he was thrilled. Even though, we all know his father spends hundreds of dollars on himself a week. The hope that I see in them that he might actually give a shit about them one day is very heart wrenching. If my ex was half the father you are, my children would be thrilled and would never replace anyone as their Dad.

[RHEMtron]

My heart goes out to you brother. If it's any consolation, i grew up as a mamma's boy [though not in a bad way]. I pretty much hated my father growing up. After my parents got a divorce as a kid, i just said... cool. Makes no difference since my father was never around. Saw him maybe twice a year after that. Funny thing is, in my early 20's, my mom remarried. My step-dad is a cool guy and has been more of a father to me than my real one ever was. But even though i was never really fond of my biological dad, i still had that mentallity of "that's not my real dad!" My dad moved to the Philippines couple years ago and i havent seen him since.

 

I actually miss him. He was never there, but at least he was around. Now that he's not here, and not even anywhere close to being around, it makes me sad.

 

So just like Shiva pointed out... nothing can replace the real Father.

[AgnosticBob AtheistPants]

Ok, I'll try to put some thoughts together now for you. I hope today's court experience wasn't too difficult for you. I recall the pain of these sorts of things very poignantly, so it is hard for me to put myself into your shoes right now. I don't know if anything I have to say can really help what is difficult no matter how you slice it.

 

I should ask you how raw this separation/divorce and being away from your kids is?

 

 

I divorced my ex in November 0f 2003. My youngest, my daughter, was only two. My son was four. It was harsh in the days leading up to the divorce. I came over one day to get the kids for a visit and she and I got into a screaming match. I can't remember the specifics, but at some point, she made a snide remark to me and tried to slam the door in my face. I lost it and put my foot in the door trying to get back inside the house. She started screaming at me to get out or she was calling the police and my son freaked out. He started screaming and crying, "NO MOMMA! DON'T CALL THE POLICE!" My heart was raging with anger and breaking at the same time. I told her to go ahead and call them, that I would be waiting for them out on the front porch. I guess all the times of us telling him that if he didn't sit in his car seat, the police would get us and take us away may have backfired in that moment. He just knew the police would come and take me away and he'd never see me again.

 

Well they came, and they talked to her, and they talked to me. We had a temporary agreement, and she had been awarded the house in it, so they told me that I would have to leave. They said it would probably be best if I didn't take the kids for visitation that night and come get them the next day at a neutral location. We did it one time, and I wanted to continue that way, but my ex got tired of it very quickly. Too much of a hassle for her to have to get out of the house and bring the kids any distance to me. She said it was silly to bring them a mile down the road when I could come get them right there.

 

We finally divorced, about six months after we separated. I agreed to a ridiculous summer visitation schedule, not considering the possiblity that I might actually escape the hellish little town. I only got two weeks of vacation a year with my job at the time, one over the fourth of July holiday and one over the Christmas holiday. She "gave" me two weeks and one week, non-consecutive. I accepted, just wanting everything to be over, to lose my ties to her other than the unbreakable ones.

 

Things were miserable for a while. I did at least get to see my kids a lot. I was just very ready to leave small town Alabama and start living my life for real. I was of course torn between that desire and the desire to be with my kids. Being miserable all the time though, I wasn't always the greatest dad. I didn't want to do much with them when they came (no matter that there's nothing to do in this town anyway) and I lived in a pretty dismal apartment. I'd let them sit and play games, and watch TV. Sometimes I'd join, most times not.

 

I was dating a woman whom I met online and that lived in L.A. She helped get me back on track and looking for something else other than the dead end job I had in this dead end town. I put my resume out on Monster.com in several different areas, including the larger cities in Alabama and Georgia, Dallas, and Los Angeles. I applied for jobs I saw in these cities but I got absolutely ZERO hits...except for ONE city. Los Angeles. I got SEVERAL offers in L.A. I talked it over with my girlfriend, worked out a budget to see what I would have to make in order to be able to visit my children every month, and then accepted the offer that gave me enough money to meet my budget.

 

I moved to L.A. in December of 2004. My ex remarried the same month. She was pregnant and had another child within a year of marrying, but that's another story. I have made a trip back to see my children every month that it has been economically feasible, which has been nearly every one since I left. They have come out to visit me about four times so far. While my daughter was still under four, I had no problem with them only staying for two weeks. It was best for her at that time. Now she is four. She has been out as I said, four times. She has loved it every time. Both of them have loved it. They are never ready to go home when it's time. So I asked my ex to let them come out for my entire three week visitation period this year. She flatly told me no. I was shocked. She'd been being very good about visitation and had been working with me all along. But she would not budge. Even though she was going to be working the three weeks the kids would be out visiting me, she would not give in and give me the three weeks. Then when I told her I was going to go back to court and get the visitation schedule changed so expect to hear from my attorney, she got an attorney too. Essentially, her attorney told her that if I went to court, I would get more visitation. So THEN she tries to talk to me about it. She's like that a lot. She will fight tooth and nail to get her way and will be relentless and brutal to get it, but when she sees she's just NOT going to get it, then she turns around and acts as if she's been willing to be reasonable the whole time.

 

I told her I had tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen to me. I don't want to fight over visitation every summer, so I am going to court to get it written into the court order.

 

So like I said in my last post, we went to court today and I lost. I only get two weeks this summer. My attorney took me off into a witness room to discuss what he had told the judge and what the judge had said. At least I know the judge was reasoning that the children go back to school on August 10th so if I kept them until the 5th, they only have a few days to get prepared for school. He didn't really take much of my ex's crock of shit complaints into consideration. It's still a little bit of a crock decision since my son is only going into the 2nd grade...not as if he has much to prepare for and my daughter isn't even starting school yet. But oh well. No use crying over spilled milk. At least I know when it goes to court, I will get more visitation.

 

This has really been the Reader's Digest Abdridged version of the whole story. My ex has pulled some whacky shit on me during the last three years. Not the least of which is trying to pin her problems in pregnancy on me. But I know I'm very lucky in that I don't have an ex that is like yours was Antler. Mine has her issues, fundamentalism included, but she doesn't try to turn the kids against me...that I know of anyway. I never talk about her in front of them either. I bitch my girlfriend's ear off about her though. The kids have started calling her new husband "Daddy R******" and it hurt at first, but then I thought about it. They have this man in their home and they are used to calling me "Daddy". I'm suddenly not there any more and this new man is. They talk to him and start to call him "Daddy", then realize their mistake and call him by his name. "Daddy...uh...R*******". Then it kind of becomes his name to them. "Daddy R******". So I've learned to accept it. So long as THAT remains his name and it doesn't get shortened to "Daddy." I just can't cope with that yet if ever.

 

 

 

 

I found life. I found myself. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't all the bleak despair my pain put in front of me. The strength is in you. You will find a new truth and it will be what you create.

 

I hope this wasn't too depressing, and maybe offered something useful to you. I certainly feel for you, and wish hope and strength to you. Set your mind to making what is, the best it can be, rather than to what you wish it was.

 

I appreciate your sharing the story with me. This is rough, and I can't imagine having to have dealt with what you did. My kids don't like the plane ride that much...well my son doesn't at least, but they love to come to California. It's the rare phone call that they don't ask me "When do we get to come out there again?"

 

Next time I see them I get to tell them "Tomorrow!"

 

My situation is kind of opposite, but it might give you some hope. My children long for a relationship with their father, who is a piece of shit. It doesn't matter what kind of asshole he is, he's thier father. He told his own daughter to go fuck herself, she was 12 at the time, because he was in town and she wanted to see him. After all, he was on vacation, how dare they ask to interupt his fun in Florida. Even through all the drama he puts the kids through, they hope for the day he might decide to have some kind of relationship with them. He sent my son a cheap fishing pole and $5 for bait for his birthday. It was from Dad, so he was thrilled. Even though, we all know his father spends hundreds of dollars on himself a week. The hope that I see in them that he might actually give a shit about them one day is very heart wrenching. If my ex was half the father you are, my children would be thrilled and would never replace anyone as their Dad.

 

 

Thanks Taph. I know it's got to be difficult dealing with a father that doesn't want to be one. I've always wanted to be a father. Unfortunately I was a fool at the age of 25 thinking I was getting too old and needed to get married ASAP so I wouldn't be 50 when my kids were graduating high school. Well, when my daughter graduates, guess what? I'll be 50. And now, it doesn't seem so old. It's only 13 years away after all.

 

My heart goes out to you brother. If it's any consolation, i grew up as a mamma's boy [though not in a bad way]. I pretty much hated my father growing up. After my parents got a divorce as a kid, i just said... cool. Makes no difference since my father was never around. Saw him maybe twice a year after that. Funny thing is, in my early 20's, my mom remarried. My step-dad is a cool guy and has been more of a father to me than my real one ever was. But even though i was never really fond of my biological dad, i still had that mentallity of "that's not my real dad!" My dad moved to the Philippines couple years ago and i havent seen him since.

 

I actually miss him. He was never there, but at least he was around. Now that he's not here, and not even anywhere close to being around, it makes me sad.

 

So just like Shiva pointed out... nothing can replace the real Father.

 

Thanks to you too RHEM. I was "abandoned" by my real dad as well. He was young and thought it was better for him to just stay out of my life. I still know him and see him occasionally, but I don't really feel like he's my father. I don't guess I really know what it feels like to have a father. My mom remarried when I was 4, but my step-dad was a psycho. He most definitely does not feel like he was my father. They divorced when I was 12 or 13. From then on out, I had no father. The time when I needed one most. But my mom did pretty well raising me. I'm not the most masculine guy on the block (hate watching sports, not much of a talker much less boaster, not too big on beer), but I'm comfortable with who I am. I'm definitely a lover of women. I have great respect for them as a result of watching my mom while I grew up. She was strong. Still is strong. Not sure where all that came from. Maybe the beer I'm drinking that I'm not all that fond of. Okay so I like the beer.