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Would You Ever Date/marry A Christian?


MrMalone
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I guess with all things, everything depends on the people involved. However, generally speaking, do you think you would date/marry a Christian?

 

I've been slowly leaving Christianity for about 7 - 8 years or so, but mostly I would say that about 3 years ago I've gone pretty much for good. I'm 30 yr old single male and I raised MYSELF spiritually speaking rather conservatively, although not quite like how many people here seem to have been raised.

 

I'm attracted to Christian girls because (for the most part) the pretty ones still have a sense of humility and do not always give in to the many options they have to be promiscuous, they are typically quite moral, and all around just attractive. Women of "the world" (for the most part) seem to have a lot of baggage and although many are pretty, most haven't had the moral background most Christian have. (I'm just talking behaviour, humility, attitude, language, things like that.)

 

There are many exceptions in either case, but the real crux I'm running into is that although I'm very "interesting" to many Christian women, few if any would ever consider dating/marrying someone like me with our different views on God/Christianity. I personally don't really have that much against Christianity as it seems many posters here have, but because I've been in the Church so long, that's all I know. That said, I'm very disappointed with the lack of ability for some people to evaluate it like I have.

 

What I find is that I'm not religious enough for the Christian, and for the non-Christian, they can't stand to talk or hear about religious stuff. Once I reveal my blog (where I reveal my point of view and discoveries on Christianity) to a woman, no matter who it is, it's all over it seems.

 

Anyway, that's just the fluff I'm dealing with, you can just answer how you feel.

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I guess with all things, everything depends on the people involved. However, generally speaking, do you think you would date/marry a Christian?

 

, and for the non-Christian, they can't stand to talk or hear about religious stuff.

 

No...I can't stand the religious talk /stuff.

 

I have had mates(friends) who were xian but never ever mentioned it....I don't mind that.

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Don't mean to be a stick in the mud, but I really wouldn't try that, although I understand your reasoning why you would. It's understandable that you would relate better to Christian girls. There's a chance it could turn out okay, but it could really get miserable, especially if she goes into the marriage thinking she could change your mind eventually. I've seen lots of couples have major struggles over one being a non Christian and one being a Christian, especially when they have kids! :eek:

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Honestly, I don't know.

 

I can say, emphatically, I would never date a rabid fundie. No thanks...

 

But would I date a christian? Maybe a liberal one. Then again, I don't think I could hack it.

 

Maybe if I could tolerate the person. There are differences that come up in a relationship.

 

I would prefer someone like myself who has a belief in a general diety. I still believe very much in a god. But I don't believe in Jesus, satan, or hell...So I would butt heads with a Christian.

 

I'd date a Buddhist or a Taoist though, as I am somewhat interested in those beliefs.

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No offense, but I think it is you that is carrying around a lot of baggage. "Women of the world?" "Promiscuity?" You are still viewing women through through your old xtian goggles. Women aren't necessarily tainted by their sexual past. And, in contrast, xtian women who are "wholesome" in your eyes are probably so prudishly naive that they are in fact the ones carrying loads of baggage. I'm not a women, but I can tell you that I carry around a lot of baggage from the views I had about sex during my sexually developing years. I'm now married to a Russian girl who grew up in an atheistic society, who carries none of the baggage that the xtians I grew up with are forced to haul around (including myself).

 

But, to answer your question. I'd date or marry a xtian. I might have fun converting her :P

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Would I ever date or marry a Christian? None of the ones in my area, that's for sure. Maybe a nice, liberal, Deistic or agnostic person, but Christians rank low on the totem pole.

 

I'm attracted to Christian girls because (for the most part) the pretty ones still have a sense of humility and do not always give in to the many options they have to be promiscuous, they are typically quite moral, and all around just attractive. Women of "the world" (for the most part) seem to have a lot of baggage and although many are pretty, most haven't had the moral background most Christian have. (I'm just talking behaviour, humility, attitude, language, things like that.)

Sounds like your quandary here isn't that you want a Christian girl. It's that you want a footstool. A humble, meek, quiet little servant who devotes herself to your every need, like a good little wife should, and who doesn't know enough about reality to know that she deserves better.

 

Get off your high horse in regards to women, okay? For the most part, men like you aren't much better than the "worldly" women you have so many problems with.

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I would easily date or marry a christian...provided we never talked about religion. I actually have very fond feelings for a Christian friend of mine...unfortunately she lives a few states away... Not to mention I already have a wonderful, atheist girlfriend. :grin:

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Hm. Would I ever date or marry a Xian? Hmm, let's see.... well I think the answer to that one would have to be a resounding

 

HELL, NO!!!1111one111!!!!

 

Seriously, though - despite the ridiculous font, aggressive color, and judicious application of mistyped !'s up there - I would NEVER date or marry a Xian ever again. EVER. I don't care what denomination they are, I don't care if they're liberal or conservative, rabid fundy or easygoing Unitarian... if they worship Jeebus on a Stick in any way, shape, or form, they're not relationship material.

 

I will freely admit that this bias has everything to do with how I was dealt with by BibleBoy. I may happily be coworkers, fellow students, debate partners, or even friends with a Xian... but BB was the last Xian I trusted in a love relationship, and the last Xian I will EVER trust in that capacity. The violation in that case was simply too deep and too complete for me to ever be able to trust a Xian that intimately again. Furthermore, while his Xianity wasn't the cause of his behavior, it was part and parcel of the way he treated me, nontheless - it provided a fundamental justification, and an utter conviction on his part that he was in the right no matter what, because God was on his side.

 

I simply can't trust Xians anymore. It's like a reflex now, like flinching away from a hot stove.

 

My current spouse is Wiccan. A lack of Xianity is one of the many qualities I like about him. Should we ever be parted, and I ever choose to date again, Xians will automatically be out of the running. That way I don't have to worry about being wooed simply for the purpose of conversion, and he won't have to worry about being "unequally yoked" with a filthy godless heathen.

 

It's just better for everyone that way.

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I'm engaged to a Pagan girl, and I wouldn't trade that for anything :D:wub:

 

I'd never date a rabid Xian if I weren't involved with my wonderful fiancee. My ex was a paranoid, guilt-obsessing Catholic who took on snobby airs every so often because of her religion. She thought herself better than most other people because she was a believer in the True Church™, and her obsessive beliefs totally ruined what could've been a fun sex life. Good thing that it did, as I am glad I never wasted myself on her, but nonetheless, it still stunk.

 

And she had baggage galore. Obssessive-compulsiveness, pickiness, fickleness - she emobodied virtually all of the negative traits men associate with bad or annoying women. I too practically hated women after I left her - the person who drives you back into suicidal mania never leaves a good taste in your mouth.

 

Xian girls have plenty of baggage, too - their religion gives it to them or sets them up for it.

 

I'd fuck a Xian girl, though. I'd love to take a innocently faithful but very sexually curious Xian lady and give her a new god to worship :sex:

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I am currently married to a non-practicing Catholic who just recently found out I no longer believe in her god. If I were in a situation where I was seeking another mate I would not choose a Christian. I have nothing against them, I just feel our believes would oppose too much on certain subjects.

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I guess with all things, everything depends on the people involved. However, generally speaking, do you think you would date/marry a Christian?

 

I've been slowly leaving Christianity for about 7 - 8 years or so, but mostly I would say that about 3 years ago I've gone pretty much for good. I'm 30 yr old single male and I raised MYSELF spiritually speaking rather conservatively, although not quite like how many people here seem to have been raised.

 

I'm attracted to Christian girls because (for the most part) the pretty ones still have a sense of humility and do not always give in to the many options they have to be promiscuous, they are typically quite moral, and all around just attractive. Women of "the world" (for the most part) seem to have a lot of baggage and although many are pretty, most haven't had the moral background most Christian have. (I'm just talking behaviour, humility, attitude, language, things like that.)

 

There are many exceptions in either case, but the real crux I'm running into is that although I'm very "interesting" to many Christian women, few if any would ever consider dating/marrying someone like me with our different views on God/Christianity. I personally don't really have that much against Christianity as it seems many posters here have, but because I've been in the Church so long, that's all I know. That said, I'm very disappointed with the lack of ability for some people to evaluate it like I have.

 

What I find is that I'm not religious enough for the Christian, and for the non-Christian, they can't stand to talk or hear about religious stuff. Once I reveal my blog (where I reveal my point of view and discoveries on Christianity) to a woman, no matter who it is, it's all over it seems.

 

Anyway, that's just the fluff I'm dealing with, you can just answer how you feel.

 

I would certainly look for a pagan girl as being an attribute. After discovering after many years that my wife could give a fuck about religion as I feel it is quite refreshing> We both did the church thing for many years and I now realize it was all a fucking charade. At least be honest with your future mate.

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I don't think I could marry a Christian knowingly. Date, perhaps, if we had some sort of connection. But I wouldn't want my future children to be brainwashed into that religion.

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I currently am dating a Christian, though she's pretty liberal. I would never date a fundimentalist cuz I'd never be able to get a word in edgewise about my beliefs. There'd be no communication and the relationship would end in no time. I had just lost my faith a month or two before I started dating this girl and she and I decided as soon as I told her that I wasn't Christian that religion would never be off-limits in our discussions. Of course, religion isn't a constant topic of discussion with us; we go for months at a time without it ever coming up, but when it does the discussions are long, extremely deep, and very helpful. She gets her views out, I get my views out, we both respect the other's ideas, and neither one tries to convert the other.

 

Of course, it's not all roses. There are times when both of us wish the other could just understand things like we do personally. It's also gonna be hard when we have kids cuz she wants them to go to church and I don't (but I'm open to it if the church is sufficiently liberal). I guess all this boils down to is that it shouldn't matter what a person's religion is in a relationship; all that matters is that the relationship has good communication and that both people listen to the other's viewpoints equally.

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No offense, but I think it is you that is carrying around a lot of baggage. "Women of the world?" "Promiscuity?" You are still viewing women through through your old xtian goggles. Women aren't necessarily tainted by their sexual past. And, in contrast, xtian women who are "wholesome" in your eyes are probably so prudishly naive that they are in fact the ones carrying loads of baggage. I'm not a women, but I can tell you that I carry around a lot of baggage from the views I had about sex during my sexually developing years. I'm now married to a Russian girl who grew up in an atheistic society, who carries none of the baggage that the xtians I grew up with are forced to haul around (including myself).

 

 

 

 

Just to reiterate... I think this is a huge possibility. If I were a guy, I would date a Christian girl only if I had sexual baggage too (and it sure sounds like you have it!!). "Women of the world?" Seriously... we agnostic girls aren't all sluts, in fact, most of us aren't. Sheesh. Liberated, maybe... but not fucking everything that breathes. Christian girls have all sorts of expectations about sex roles and everything else, and be prepared to put on a guilt trip even if you get drunk together... I had a Christian girlfriend that would get drunk and go around quoting bible passages that condemned her drunken ass to hell. :HaHa: It was funny, but she obviously had issues. It really tore her up.

 

You are still judging women the way you would have as a Christian... it's my opinoin that you aren't nearly done processing your deconversion yet, and until then, I would stay away from Christian girls. Maybe when you're more mature in how you view non-Christian women, you can maturely handle Christian ones too. I wish you the best. :grin:

 

Oh, and on the "moral background" thing, do you still think that Christians are the only ones "raised right" or something? I really don't understand that comment. People are people.... Christian or not, we all have faults and we all do things that are immoral. Many pagans I know have a better moral foundation than Christians, and my personal motto is do unto other as THEY would have done until THEM... isn't that infinitely better than the Christian version?

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Honest answer? I really don't know.

 

If it was one of those fire and brimstone types, I doubt very much that I could have a happy relationship with someone like this. And as for devout Catholics- no fucking way! It would remind me too much of my former self. They'd spend the entire time trying to reconvert me. No fucking thanks!!!

It's ironic- I used to wish for a devout Catholic to be my life partner.

 

Luckily, I don't need to worry about finding a relationship. I am happily taken, and my partner is an atheist. I believe in a deity, but not in all the judgmentality crap that accompanies fundamentalist Christianity. We actually work well together. :)

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I'm currently married to a Christian..however, not a fundamental type..not even a go to church type-never goes. His belief is there though.

 

Would I date/marry a xtian if we were no longer together? No way, no how. I'd remain celebate first.

 

And, as its been pointed out to you-"christian girls" don't hold the monopoly on morality. That is offensive..

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Thank you for your replies.

 

I should have bolded the parts where I said my sweeping statements were not all inclusive. Oh well. I'm glad I gave people someone to vent on. It's good to get it out.

 

I don't have a large community of fundamentalists where I'm from. It's hard for me to imagine such people groups. I guess my experience with Christian women and non-Christian women could also be different. Pandora, my sexual baggage would possibly be that I waited for so long to share it with that certain somebody. It was my faith that allowed me to last as long as I did. It's hard to find people that shared the same integrity. That's simply a fact. People are people and we all make mistakes, that's fine. I know there are plenty of nice, beautiful, single, available, non-Christian women, who are quite moral, open-minded, baggage free, and interesting................

 

Mind you I don't know where they are.. let alone how to meet them. And I find I have nothing in common with most of them. Now, that's my experience. Judge them.. hardly, not like I would have about 6 years ago. My deconversion is complete. I've never known what women want, except for Christian women, but because of that I know that I no longer qualify for them (most of them). :)

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I don't know why but this thread reminds me of the classic song by The Nails

 

88 LINES ABOUT 44 WOMEN

 

Deborah was a Catholic girl

she held out till the bitter end

Carla was a different type

she's the one who put it in

Mary was a black girl

I was afraid of a girl like that

Suzen painted pictures

sitting down like a Buddha sat

 

Reno was a nameless girl

a geographic memory

Cathy was a Jesus freak

she liked that kind of misery

Vicki had a special way

of turning sex into a song

Kamala, who couldn't sing,

kept the beat and kept it strong

 

Zilla was an archetype

the voodoo queen, the queen of wrath

Joan thought men were second best

to masturbating in a bath

Sherry was a feminist

she really had that gift of gab

Kathleen's point of view was this

take whatever you can grab

 

Seattle was another girl

who left her mark upon the map

Karen liked to tie me up

and left me hanging by a strap

Jeannie had a nightclub walk

that made grown men feel underage

Mariella, who had a son,

said I must go, but finally stayed

 

Gloria, the last taboo

was shattered by her tongue one night

Mimi brought the taboo back

and held it up before the light

Marilyn, who knew no shame,

was never ever satisfied

Julie came and went so fast

she didn't even say goodbye

 

Rhonda had a house in Venice

lived on brown rice and cocaine

Patty had a house in Houston

shot cough syrup in her veins

Linda thought her life was empty

filled it up with alcohol

Katherine was much too pretty

she didn't do that shit at all

 

Pauline thought that love was simple

turn it on and turn it off

Jean-Marie was complicated

like some French filmmaker's plot

Gina was the perfect lady

always had her stockings straight

Jackie was a rich punk rocker

silver spoon and a paper plate

 

Sarah was a modern dancer

lean pristine transparency

Janet wrote bad poetry

in a crazy kind of urgency

Tanya Turkish liked to fuck

while wearing leather biker boots

Brenda's strange obsession

was for certain vegetables and fruit

 

Rowena was an artist's daughter

the deeper image shook her up

Dee Dee's mother left her father

took his money and his truck

Debbie Rae had no such problems

perfect Norman Rockwell home

Nina, 16, had a baby

left her parents, lived alone

Bobbi joined a New Wave band

changed her name to Bobbi Sox

Eloise, who played guitar,

sang songs about whales and cops

Terri didn't give a shit

was just a nihilist

Ronnie was much more my style

cause she wrote songs just like this

Jezebel went forty days

drinking nothing but Perrier

Dinah drove her Chevrolet

into the San Francisco Bay

Judy came from Ohio

she's a Scientologist

Amaranta, here's a kiss

I chose you to end this list.

 

For the record, to answer the question, no I wouldn't date a Christian woman. I probably have more in common with them in the sense that I don't drink, smoke, or get high, and I'm woefully inexperienced sexually - in other words I'm really dull. But one thing I am not is disconnected from reality, which you have to be to be a Christian, the mindset is just too alien to me anymore.

 

bdp

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Not interested in dating a Christian-or a Republican. Unless she's incredibly rich.

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I'd date or marry a liberal Christian, who's preferably apolitical. Definitely not into the fundies or any political extremists, as I'm more of a moderate myself.

 

Besides, liberal Christianity is one step closer to deconversion.

 

Oh, and as for "worldly women" having more baggage? No offense, sweetie, but that's bullshit. Like it or not, we've all got some sort of baggage. Most Christians (even the liberal ones) just prefer to live in denial that they have issues.

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I guess it all depends on the person. I won't rule out every single Christian that walks the planet as a potential date just because of his or her Christianity... If the person disrespects my opions, tries to shove Jesus down my throat, etc., then the person is automatically crossed off my list.

 

If it came down to choosing between someone who is a Christian and someone who isn't (both being equal in personality quality) -- I'd go with the one who isn't.

 

Then again... maybe bachelorettehood is a better option.

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