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It's Been A While, Time For A Rant


Dirac
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Well, I joined a year plus ago, but I've neglected raving about Christianity, that ancient pile of cack, that hermetic cult-ure packed full of closed-minded, hypocritical, unquestioning, rash, complacent, sanctimous, headlong, holier-than-thou cranks who would sooner than condemn you than help you.

 

A few years ago I realised something very important. I realised that in all my years of attending church, I had never been offered the slightest trace of convincing evidence that God existed. I realised that I believed in God only because my parents had taken me along to church every week since the day of my birth and had been indoctrinated (and that's what it is, indoctrination) into belief in God. This is not my parents' fault (they naturally thought they were doing the right thing), but the church's structure and style.

 

Who remembers speaking in tongues? WHO COULD FORGET? Oh Christ how embarrassing.

 

Guess what? I can still speak in tongues. All I have to do is orate the same utter gibberish as I did when I was at church. I can still do it: "Shalama-keerma-shinay." What complete and utter bullshit.

 

I don't know what it was like at your church, but at my ex-church every person speaking in tongues sounded virtually the same. What a coincidence. Oh Christ, how crushingly embarrassing it is to think of how many months in total I wasted talking to thin air. Not only that, I spent countless days speaking in tongues (uttering gibberish) to thin air.

 

All that wasted money tithed to an organisation hell-bent on crushing independent thought and free expression. All those awful hours spent in self-flagellation because at the age of 15 I couldn't help entertaining lustful thoughts about the hot girls in the meeting. All that wasted time acquiring knowledge of ancient nonsense and memorising Bible verses when I could have been reading other fiction books designed for kids to broaden their imagination, or playing with my friends.

 

It felt like I had a personality disorder, the way you never felt alone or at peace. He was always watching you wherever you were, watching your every misdeed, no matter how small, which would then have to be repented of. I was told that sometimes I didn't connect with God because perhaps there was unconfessed sin in my life which I hadn't brought before him (not Him). I HATE THAT RELIGION, I HATE HIM. No that doesn't make sense, he (not He) doesn't exist.

 

I feel cheated, and I am NEVER going back.

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Hey its good that you're getting it out, that's what this place is here for. Yeah I hate that religion too, which is why I ended up an atheist. Well at least you realized it for what it was, some people don't and end up miserable and unhappy in the religion. Hope things continue to get better for you from here on out. Best of luck! :)

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Who remembers speaking in tongues? WHO COULD FORGET? Oh Christ how embarrassing.

 

Guess what? I can still speak in tongues. All I have to do is orate the same utter gibberish as I did when I was at church. I can still do it: "Shalama-keerma-shinay." What complete and utter bullshit.

 

I don't know what it was like at your church, but at my ex-church every person speaking in tongues sounded virtually the same. What a coincidence. Oh Christ, how crushingly embarrassing it is...

 

I feel you. I'm laughing like an idiot over here, I can relate so completely.

 

"Shunda-ma-keendama-cordima" to you too.

 

Aiiieeeee.... LOL I'm dying over here... absolutely mortifying. It burns, don't make me think about this again, ever....

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Wow Dirac, I can relate to that 100%!

 

I can still remember my father (who wasn't all that keen on the speaking in tongues stuff) sitting talking to a christian friend of his, trying to interpret some of the language. Now I think back, I realise he totally misunderstood how it was supposed to work. But even so, it does all seem totally ridiculous.

 

I remember my uncle bragging once about how he was speaking in tongues once and a Maori came up to him after claiming he was speaking in Maori. I guess though with a language as simple as that, it doesn't take much to speak a whole heap of Maori sounding gibberish and at least get a few words that make sence.

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Go Dirac!

 

I know ..I know...I know.....its a load of elephant shit....the xian household stinks of it! Ya can't even open a window - that's a major sin.!

 

Geeeze...and don't those tongue speaking utterances end up sounding like the whole congregation has just emigrated Enmasse, from a french/swiss provincial village.

 

I tried and tried (for the relatively short stint I had with the penties) but I couldn't do it!

I got as far as Halliwoooliajoolia.....

 

I was told by that pastor ...that I had to keep practising....using the word Hallihula over and over....boring!

 

 

But...get this.....what cracks me up the most is the idiot to stands up straight after they have screeched their hearts out.......and gives a translation...or should I say...the prophesy!

 

:lmao: now they were funny! Sounded like Elizabethian english... very very lame stuff....like 'thee shall all find joy and sorrow whilst in the heart of the soulfulness and all will be well with gawds people whence doth go."

 

*heeheee*......funny funny stuff.!

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Hey its good that you're getting it out, that's what this place is here for. Yeah I hate that religion too, which is why I ended up an atheist. Well at least you realized it for what it was, some people don't and end up miserable and unhappy in the religion. Hope things continue to get better for you from here on out. Best of luck! :)

 

Speaking in fucking tongues! What a crock of bull! If your a man, use your tongue to pleasure your woman! and vice versa, following health safety of course. That should really be "gods fuckin message!"

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Glossolalia, Speaking in tongues, yup, done it, and can still do it. Did it during prayers with my siblings and parents last year. (I did I feel silly. I can't tell them the truth yet.)

 

Guess the Holy Sprocket didn't leave me after all.

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Dirac basically thats my story too, although i realized that it was all BS at about 12 and I never spoke in toungs cause I saw that as a load of crap since day one. When I went to CCD as I got older there were times I would NEVER pray of say "Amen." or anything like that. I kinda just sat there and tried to deflect all the bull flying at me. Looking back I wish I coulda done more...

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In the immortal words of Bongo:"shamalama-dingdong". :HaHa:

 

That pretty much sums it up I think.

 

Is peer pressure so powerful that people stoop to this kind of nonsense? What motivates people to "speak in tongues"?

 

Anyway Dirac I'm glad that you're free of all that stuff now. Good and honest rant.

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I did it. I still can. I do it every once in awhile to piss off my boyfriend. Never know when I may need to get myself out of a sticky pentecostal situation involving torches, pitchforks, and rabid evangelism.

 

I hate tongues tho. It's so effing stupid! I went to a pente church where when I actually had my first stint of tongues, I was told to hush because the elders in the church had first "tongues priority".

 

Lying bastards. I swear, if my mom starts in on that shit (newly fundy/pente) I'm going to go crazy!

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But...get this.....what cracks me up the most is the idiot to stands up straight after they have screeched their hearts out.......and gives a translation...or should I say...the prophesy!

 

Hahaha! Oh my god, yes how could I forget the interpretation! I used to love the occasional time where two people would start the 'interpretation' at the same time and say complete different things, it's hilarious looking back.

 

when I actually had my first stint of tongues, I was told to hush because the elders in the church had first "tongues priority".
Oh my god, funny as hell, "tongues priority", hahahaha! :HappyCry:
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