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Goodbye Jesus

Discouraging Door To Door Evangelists


Knightley

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This morning I was surprised to see that some mormons left a little present at my door. I didn't talk to them but they did leave this little flyer thing. Do I need this shit? No. I've lived at this neighborhood for years and this is the first time that any evangelist of any kind has approached the house. So anyway I think I need to start preparing myself for them, so what do you do when xians come and try to preach to you? Slam the door in their face? I just don't want to do that, but even them leaving shit on the front door is annoying. Maybe I can put up a sign... :ugh:

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I pull on the purple hooded robe I wear to my larp, grab my copy of Demon: The Fallen off the shelf, and open the door.

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I had a group of JW's at the door once..I had a bumber sticker on the door about the Twilight Zone. As soon as they started talking, I told them I believed that we were all brought here by aliens and they would be returning for us one day soon..

 

They kinda looked at each like :twitch: and told me to have a nice day.. :lmao:

 

I've heard, if you get some of their fliers, scatter them on the ground, and tape a white,body shaped outline on the ground...they won't hang around..

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This morning I was surprised to see that some mormons left a little present at my door. I didn't talk to them but they did leave this little flyer thing. Do I need this shit? No. I've lived at this neighborhood for years and this is the first time that any evangelist of any kind has approached the house. So anyway I think I need to start preparing myself for them, so what do you do when xians come and try to preach to you? Slam the door in their face? I just don't want to do that, but even them leaving shit on the front door is annoying. Maybe I can put up a sign... :ugh:

 

 

Lets see, well once with the JWs, they were walking up my walk just as I stepped out of the house, all the neighborhood kids were in my frount yard and they smiled and asked "which ones are yours?".... I answered "all of them, and they are nice little Satanists and you had better not give them any of your evil books," and glared, I didn't have a JW for a good year. Apparently they forgot though and are coming back around, I usally don't answer the door, if one of the kids does, and they start to hand anyone a flyer I tell them to throw their own trash away. Mormons I havn't had in a long time, I see them in the neighborhood, but not at my door, I'm not sure why. I have seen soem cleaver signs to put on doors about not evenaglising or selling. My mother used to say "Everyone in this house is happy with their church thank you" and close the door. My parents didn't ahve a church, and are not in anyway religious, but she wasn't lying, cuz they are happy with that. lol

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Do they come every day, every week, every month? Or every once in a Blue Moon? If it's the latter, then why bother fretting about it? I don't get bothered enough to formulate a plan of attack. It isn't worth the effort.

 

Dealing with these door-to-door nitwits is VERY easy. They leave shit? Then throw it away. They knock on your door? Tell them to go away, No thanks, and CLOSE THE DOOR in their faces. I don't comprehend how anyone can feel "bad", or believe you're being "rude" to evangelists. They are UNINVITED BRAINWASHERS! Fuck them.

 

You don't know them, nor do you owe them any courtesy. You don't need to "prepare yourself" or anything. You don't have to engage them in discussion. Give them NO THOUGHT. They are human scum. Fuck 'em and feed 'em a fish head.

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I just don't answer the door - just because someone knocks does not make me obligated to answer. If they leave stuff it as often as not ends up on the ground next to the front porch where any other solicitors, religious or otherwise, can see it - I don't know if any of them makes the connection that their stuff will end up there too, rotting away in the elements, but I enjoy seeing it decompose anyway.

 

bdp

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I pull on the purple hooded robe I wear to my larp, grab my copy of Demon: The Fallen off the shelf, and open the door.

 

:lmao:

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Doesn't happen to me. Then again, I live in an apartment building with Cujo (Curtis Joseph) for a doorman.

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Well, the six foot tall chain link fence, and two dogs, seem to discourage anyone selling anything door to door.

 

I like it that way.

 

If I lived back East, with no fence around the whole house like I have out here, a)I don't answer the door if I don't feel like it, it's kind of like answering the phone, if I don't want to, I won't. End of discussion. B) I don't have a problem being rude to people who are infringing on my space.

 

So, I don't subscribe to having to be polite. I have, after all, woken up my Dad, who worked second shift, to deal with the little Mormon boys who wouldn't go. the. hell. away. after I politely told them that we were all Catholic, and not interested in being Mormon. Dad came to the door with his .44 strapped to his hip, and told them to go away. They took the hint after that.

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This morning I was surprised to see that some mormons left a little present at my door. I didn't talk to them but they did leave this little flyer thing. Do I need this shit? No. I've lived at this neighborhood for years and this is the first time that any evangelist of any kind has approached the house. So anyway I think I need to start preparing myself for them, so what do you do when xians come and try to preach to you? Slam the door in their face? I just don't want to do that, but even them leaving shit on the front door is annoying. Maybe I can put up a sign... :ugh:

 

Knightley - you must've missed the discussion we had about this very thing a few weeks back. There are some pretty good "coping mechanisms" in that thread. You may want to check it out.

 

http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?s=&a...st&p=197315 :grin:

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Meh.....I've only ever seen Mormons, and at that time my mother just screamed at everyone to hide to make them think nobody was home.

 

I'd suggest just putting a sign on your door that says "NO RELIGIOUS AGENTS". At least that's what I read in Miss Manners.

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My brother put a No Proselytizing sign on his door. That didn't stop them, and one aggressive evangelist tried to actually hold the door open when he tried to close it on him. :shrug:

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I'm going to take somewhat of a devil's advocate on this and ask that, at least in the case of the Mormon missionaries, you don't use anymore snark or venom than is really necessary.

 

Speaking as one who was raised in the Mormon church, I can quite easily tell you that those with a background similar to my own are just good folks who had the misfortune of being born into a sitaution where they were indoctrinated from birth. They're not trying to inconvenience or offend you by knocking on your door, merely do what they've been told is right from day one.

 

My brother came home from his mission in Chicago in February. His worst stories are of those people who thought by knocking on the door and asking a simple question he was inviting them into a battle of faiths. While disappointed, he was actually grateful to the folks who just politely declined without making a big deal about it.

 

Of course, there are exceptions to this. If the solicitor gets snarky or aggressive themselves then all bets are off. If they're just naive young (wo)men out trying to do what they believe is right without really causing you any trouble, though, I see no reason to add one more example of bad behavior to the world.

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This morning I was surprised to see that some mormons left a little present at my door. I didn't talk to them but they did leave this little flyer thing. Do I need this shit? No. I've lived at this neighborhood for years and this is the first time that any evangelist of any kind has approached the house. So anyway I think I need to start preparing myself for them, so what do you do when xians come and try to preach to you? Slam the door in their face? I just don't want to do that, but even them leaving shit on the front door is annoying. Maybe I can put up a sign... :ugh:

 

Answer the door naked....no wait...do that when I come to your door too. :wicked:

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I live in a building with a secure main entrance. There are no door-to-door people of any kind. No key = no evangelizing. :)

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I always invite them in, have a chat, point out a few little errors in the bible, let them try to work it out, point out a few more... rinse and repeat until the give up and go away...

 

Generally about 1 hour, and they don't come back for years. :grin:

 

 

 

:note: this is only with JW's... I've yet to have any other people going door to door preaching

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This morning I was surprised to see that some mormons left a little present at my door. I didn't talk to them but they did leave this little flyer thing. Do I need this shit? No. I've lived at this neighborhood for years and this is the first time that any evangelist of any kind has approached the house. So anyway I think I need to start preparing myself for them, so what do you do when xians come and try to preach to you? Slam the door in their face? I just don't want to do that, but even them leaving shit on the front door is annoying. Maybe I can put up a sign... :ugh:

 

Answer the door naked....no wait...do that when I come to your door too. :wicked:

 

name the time and the place

:HaHa:

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Answering the door after a late night out while forgetting to take your make-up off, while on sleeping pills that haven't worn off yet, in nothing but a nightshirt that says "The Monkeys Steal My Underwear When I'm Asleep" seemed to work pretty well for me. :)

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If I didn't have neighbors with small children, I'd answer the door buck nekkid.

 

As it stands, I'll have to think up some other way to freak the bastards out when they inevitably come knocking on the duplex door...

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I have a statue of the the Green Man next to the front door and a pentagram hanging on the door. I put them there to keep the born agains that live next door from coming over and trying to save me. I works pretty well but if they still knock I just say that I am not interested and close the door. :grin:

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I've heard, if you get some of their fliers, scatter them on the ground, and tape a white,body shaped outline on the ground...they won't hang around..

 

:lmao::funny::lmao:

 

A looong time ago in a similar thread, Chef (I believe it was him) posted the idea of inserting some of those fake vampire fangs into your mouth, then open and tell them "Yezz, pleazze come in, I absolutely vant to know more about your Eterrrnal Life™!"

 

And don't forget to have the camera at hand...

 

For what it's worth, if someone ever reaches my door (that is, if someone dares to try... the only ones who sometimes try that over here are the JW, and our local JW already know me well, and they know where I live), depending on my mood, I guess I'll show them either my Poetic Edda... or my Necronomicon.

And again, have the camera handy. :pureevil:

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You know, it's stuff like that almost makes me wish I'd been able to serve a mission in Germany and visit your house. I like to think that even if I hadn't been willing to admit it to others I'd have been fascinated by the opportunity to study something so infamous. :grin:

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I've been fortunate in that I've not been bothered by door to door missionaries but twice in the past 20 years. I simply unceremoniously dismissed them, and there was no problem. :phew:

 

 

“To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master” (Mark Twain)

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This morning I was surprised to see that some mormons left a little present at my door. I didn't talk to them but they did leave this little flyer thing. Do I need this shit? No. I've lived at this neighborhood for years and this is the first time that any evangelist of any kind has approached the house. So anyway I think I need to start preparing myself for them, so what do you do when xians come and try to preach to you? Slam the door in their face? I just don't want to do that, but even them leaving shit on the front door is annoying. Maybe I can put up a sign... :ugh:

 

Try this: S-NOthump.gif

http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/stickers-ss6.html

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