ped Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyby Stardancer Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 I've never had to deal with religious people coming around... Then again, I hate answering the door if I don't know the person there. I'll do the same with the home phone, wait for the answering machine to pick it up to see who's answering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles7268 Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 i answered the door naked once, the lady just threw a flier at me and left pretty quickly. had another one come by yesterday but i was half asleep and forgot to take my shorts off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 A widow was told by police to remove a notice on her fence which read: "Our dogs are fed on Jehovah's Witnesses." Variatio delectat. She should add some Mor(m)ons to the menu every now and then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Variable Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 I like to use it as an opportunity to counter-evangelize. Once a mormon came to my door and I asked him why the bible says Jesus was born in Bethlehem, but the Book of Mormon said he was born in Jerusalem. He said that Bethlehem was a suburb of Jerusalem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I've never had to deal with religious people coming around... Then again, I hate answering the door if I don't know the person there. I'll do the same with the home phone, wait for the answering machine to pick it up to see who's answering. Admittedly, me too. If the missionaries ever do come by I'll probably just play the "nobody's-home" game. If they stick around, I will then and only then open the door and make it quick. I haaaaaaaaaaate talking to people I don't know. And I refuse to answer the phone until the caller ID tells me who it is and it's a recognizable number. I like to use it as an opportunity to counter-evangelize. Once a mormon came to my door and I asked him why the bible says Jesus was born in Bethlehem, but the Book of Mormon said he was born in Jerusalem. He said that Bethlehem was a suburb of Jerusalem. Are. You. Shitting. Me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paloriam Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Just answer your door decked out in s&m gear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Just answer your door decked out in s&m gear. Yes, then say, "Oh, goodie! It's the 'Mormon Missionary' I called the agency for! Now, I go like this and you hold the whip and tell me what a sinful little boy I am." That should ensure they run and keep it on official record to never, ever come back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 In the past when people like that have come to my door I switch into shallow mode. I then proceed to carry on and on about how much I like their clothes. "Man I really like those shoes!" "Where did you get those pants!" "You look fantastic!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trancelation Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I've had to deal with door-to-door Bible thumpers once. Me and the missus were on our way out the door to see Episode III. When they told us who they were, my lady got a worried look on her ace: she knows all about my "public discourses in reason" with believers. It was or nought. I spent the next ten minutes talking about Star Wars with them, and would have converted them to the Jedi religion, but we were gonna miss the movie. I bid them arewell and they let without so much as a word. They seemed nervous as hell, too. Not used to having a guy that looks like me answer the door, I guess. *sigh* I really need to get my "F" key Fixed . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paloriam Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Just answer your door decked out in s&m gear. Yes, then say, "Oh, goodie! It's the 'Mormon Missionary' I called the agency for! Now, I go like this and you hold the whip and tell me what a sinful little boy I am." That should ensure they run and keep it on official record to never, ever come back. I don't know. I heard those Mormons are freaks. The might want you to slip a ball-gag in their mouths and spank them before they leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I just follow Asimov's advice. (given in a previous thread) I stick it in their butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobo Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Are any of you here clones (that is, true fans of The Jim Rome Show Premier Radio Networks or Jim Rome is Burning on ESPN Television)? I must admit that I've never been able to catch JRIB, but the radio show sometimes leaves me chuckling softly hours after hearing it. At the beginning of every show...and perhaps a few times during the course of the program, Jim Rome reminds his callers to "Have a take, and don't suck." If someone calls the show and sucks by breaking one of the show's numerous rules (such as singing, stuttering or generally rambling on about something stupid), he immediately ends the call with a loud buzzer sound. Hey, there are rules...even if you would have had to listen to the show since the beginning to know what all of them are. This got him to thinking about applying this practice to telemarketers. But, since he didn't have a buzzer on his home phone as he had on the radio, he invented the Manual Buzzer. The Manual Buzzer is simply Jim using his voice to imitate the mechanical buzzer he uses on the air. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Like fingernails on a chalkboard, one can imagine how unpleasant--even painful--this might be on the other end of the phone call. I say the Manual Buzzer can be applied to anyone who comes by or calls pitching their goods, services or religion. The Jerry Seinfeld telemarketer approach is pretty funny too...as follows: Jerry: This isn't a good time. Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back, sir? Jerry: I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later? Telemarketer: Umm, we're not allowed to do that. Jerry: Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home. Telemarketer: Umm, no. Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel. [hangs up phone] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Variable Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Are. You. Shitting. Me. No, I'm absolutely serious. Seriously though, door-to-door evangelism is a great opportunity to counter-evangelize. I do know that mormons aren't supposed to come into your house (if your a woman) unless your husband is home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knightley Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 I just follow Asimov's advice. (given in a previous thread) I stick it in their butt. *sticks it up Fwee's butt* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjacksonRIAB Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Ah, I see Knightley has discovered for herself my love of tight mouse butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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