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Another Hilarious Usenet Post


euphgeek
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Max Varazslo (our resident comedian in alt.politics.homosexuality, he posts here as Princess Keesha) has posted another hilarious fundy parody, this time posting under the name "Holy Queen Henrietta". Enjoy the post, which can also be found here:

 

Subject: Brother Jack's Latest HOLY Tract!

 

My good friend Brother Jack Chick has just come out with a new Holy Gospel Tract about the evils of Islam. It exposes the Truth about Mohammed and his reign of terror -- which has been thoroughly whitewashed by Moslems who can't bear to face the ugly truth about their Satanic pseudo-religion.

 

Do we really need such hateful, intolerant excuses for humanity in this country? I don't think so. They march in the streets of this country calling for the destruction of Holy Israel -- the ONLY True Democracy in the Middle East. I regularly spread the flag of the fictitious country "Palestine" on the floor of my Holiness Help Center and force Arabs to trample on it before they can apply for aid. I don't know what they need it for. Aren't there any Moslem charities that actually feed the hungry, treat the sick, or find jobs for the poor? None that I can see. All they seem to do is make bombs, indoctrinate young people to use them, and stir up more intolerance and bigotry against God's Chosen People -- the original Black Jews and their white descendants the white Jews. And even though they claim not to drink they usually run liquor stores that sell to underage African Americans. Can't we put a stop to such evil?

 

I tell any Arab woman who comes to me for help that she'll have to remove the draperies she typically wears if she wants to talk to any member of my staff. I don't care how many children she has in tow. It's absolutely sexist for them to force women to wear heavy shrouds made from cheap, stifling drapery material, much of it clumsily pinned together, while the men get to wear comfortable jeans and flip flops when it's warm outside. Our Holy Church's Mother Lurlean actually rips the veils off such women -- whom Brother Michael Savage calls the "women of cover" -- and invites them to discover True Religion at Our Church -- God's ONLY True Church of Holy Assurance. Many of them come out of curiosity.

 

I went in to one of those Arab coffee houses a few days ago and bought a framed photo of the Great Mosque and the Kaaba. I took it out on the sidewalk and smashed it to bits to show the owners how I feel about their evil mind-control cult. Hahahahaha! That'll teach them. An old man in the store started clutching is chest like Fred Sanford pretending to have a heart attack when he saw me. He survived just fine as soon as I got back in my car. It was all an act in the first place -- on his part.

 

Please follow this URL and learn the Truth for yourselves:

 

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1031/1...1.asp&wpp=a

 

 

Jesus Loves EVEN You,

Unbelieving Infidels That You Are!

-|-

|

Holy Queen Henrietta I

YOUR Soon-to-Be Black Monarch

And Enemy of Islam and Other Forms of Satanism

 

 

© 2006 by the First Universal Christian Kingdom.

All rights reserved. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited.

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