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Xian Twilight Zone


Knightley
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Okay well last week out of the blue, my old teacher calls me up, and I haven't taken lessons with her in years so I wasn't expecting it so she asked me if I could do lunch and I said okay, sure. So today was our lunch thing, it was weird.

 

I thought she wanted to see me if I wanted to play the piano again, and I've lost interest in it anyway so I told her today, and she didn't even want to talk about that. She didn't preach to me which I was also wigging out about happening, she didn't even ask what I thought about faith or anything, but she did start talking about her son, he's in his early 30s and went into depth about how he got married and its been four years and how his wife is controlling and turned him against the family.

 

Okay, I don't understand why I need to hear all of this. You guys gotta understand that she's in her 50s or something, she's a mom and everything. Hell she's a minister's wife, but yeah the conversation was mostly about her son and how he hasn't talked to the family in years. I heard a little bit about it from my mom who stays in touch with her, but not to the extent that she went into it today.

 

So anyway, why would she do that? Why would she call me up out of the blue? Why is she talking to me about her son? This is the type of shit that you usually reserve for a peer of your own set and not a 23 year old chick. I don't get it. And no I don't think that she wants to set me up with him or anything, but maybe she's lonely? :shrug:

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Hmm. If your mom stays in touch with her, maybe they talked before she decided to talk to you?

 

You've mentioned your own problems with your mother, maybe she's heard about it and wanted another perspective from "the other side." As if since you're young and he's young, maybe you could give some insight on the situation with her son? :shrug:

 

Or maybe she did intend just want to say hi to you again and ended up letting that dominate the conversation. Some people just need to talk about their problems with people they DON'T know well and aren't close to the situation.

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Oh, let's review, shall we?

 

Your mom is in touch with her. In other words, this is one of your mother's nosy old biddy friends, and they decided to give you a one-way ticket on the Guilt Trip Express.

 

She didn't try to preach to you, but she did whine about how her son got married to this horrible controlling woman, who won't "let" her son be with his faaaaaamily. Allow me, the "horrible controlling wife" of a former fundy with fundy nutjob parents, to translate THAT for you. That translates into, "My son had his eyes opened, and married someone who supports him, but he would NEVER leave the faaaamily fold willingly, and go against all the bullshit WE taught him, it has to be HER fault!"

 

You want a piece of advice? Tell the old biddy, when you speak to her again, IF you speak to her again, that her problems with her son are just that, HER problems, and that maybe if she treated her son and his wife with respect, they might speak to her.

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She didn't try to preach to you, but she did whine about how her son got married to this horrible controlling woman, who won't "let" her son be with his faaaaaamily. Allow me, the "horrible controlling wife" of a former fundy with fundy nutjob parents, to translate THAT for you. That translates into, "My son had his eyes opened, and married someone who supports him, but he would NEVER leave the faaaamily fold willingly, and go against all the bullshit WE taught him, it has to be HER fault!"

 

 

 

Hey, I'm a crazy controlling wife too! :vent::Wendywhatever: My in-laws hate me.

 

Anyway, if she wasn't saying all that for the reasons Ms. K said, maybe she was just venting. I know you aren't her best bud or anything, but when people dump on me like that, I just try to be there for them, listen, and try to offer alternative perspectives.

 

It is odd she would call you up for lunch just to chat, though... maybe your mom is somehow involved in all this.

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Why don't you just come out and ask her why she is telling you all that and what does she want from you?

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It's quite possible that you are the only person she knows whom she can say something "scandalous" to, and know you're less likely to freak.

 

She very well could be venting. She may even wish like crazy her son would get a *gasp* divorce!! Who among her regular "circle" wouldn't make that into gossip-of-the-month? The wife of a minister hoping her son gets a....divorce!!

 

Be patient. Listen to her. If there is an ulterior motive for her talking to you, it will come out in time.

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I'm not really sure what to make of it. I guess accusing the wife of being a controlling wife isn't as out there as I thought. Well the thing about my old piano teacher, she's really nice, never approached xianity to me or asked me if I was saved, her husband is really nice as well.

 

Her husband is a minister, and her kids were PK kids, she told me that he never went through a rebellious phase or anything like that. This is the first time that he's ever done anything of the like. She did tell me that he did date xian girls, most of them were xian and most of them cheated on him. So I do think that part of it has to be that maybe he's mad he was brought up a PK kid but like I said, its not like they're pushy about it.

 

But hmm I just don't know, maybe it is the xian thing, but he cut off contact with everyone pretty much, even his sister. I don't know, its just weird to call a 23 year old girl out of nowhere and tell her all of this, don't you guys think?

 

I really don't know what to do, maybe she just needed an ear to listen to and like white_raven23 said maybe the reasons will come out as to why she is telling me all this. I have no idea why!

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Some really good possibilities have been posed here.

It is also possible that...in the process of doing her good deed (by reaching out to a wayward, backslidden child that she has little or no connection with anymore), God would hear all her cries and KILL that Bitch that stole her son. But, in the process, she came to a point of "how do I get from telling her (you) that my son's life is no different from hers (yours)"? Sounds to me like she depressed herself...and was just hoping "God" would resurrect her failure into some glorious miracle that she could never have envisioned (though, it's certainly a part of her daily masturbatory regimen...I mean prayer life).

Anywho...hope you had a good meal!

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You know, I just thought of something.

 

Last December my roomate took me to the temp agency to sign on to work at the same company she does and she met up suddenly with the mother of an old high school friend of hers from years ago. Anyway, they got to talking, and this lady mentioned several times that her daughter hasn't spoken to her in several years. It was obvious from the tone in her voice how hurt and angry she was about this and me and my roomie were like, "Um, ok. Whatever." We walked out wondering what that was all about and why she would tell us this.

 

Still, not having good relations with my mother, the first thing that popped into my mind when she said that was, "What did you DO to your daughter to make her leave?"

 

There is probably some family skeletons rattling in the closet here. That's my thought.

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yeah I think that you're right, people usually leave out pieces of the story to make themselves look good, I don't know, I feel like I'm in limbo.

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Maybe she just wants someone safe to talk to. How is her social life, otherwise?

 

As someone pointed out above: you are someone who is unlikely to spread this to the local church gossips. Maybe you were the safest one she could talk to. Maybe seeing you (sounds like you're her son's age) may have triggered a small break and she just needed to talk. Sometimes just listening is enough.

 

I wouldn't immediately jump to this being some Christian Conspiracy ™.

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