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Money Can't Buy Smarts


The Sage Nabooru
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"Hmm, okay, we can either feed the family for another week, or we can use the money we would've spent on groceries, add another four hundred dollars we don't have, and buy an LCD TV for the bathroom!"

 

We have no toilet paper. We have no bread. We have no milk. We have no cereal. We have no toothpaste. We have no vegetables, crackers, flour, soup, soap, or anything to eat or keep ourselves clean. And we're not allowed to go grocery shopping.

 

Jackass, my father, in his usual drive to control every aspect of our lives (he has a dick that can't be seen without a zoom lens), has beaten my mother into submission about money for several years now: even though they earn over a hundred thousand a year, and my mother earns half of it, we never have any money, according to him. This is why we're not allowed to eat, use too much water or electricity, etc. Of course we can always seem to scrape together enough cash for his restaurant lunches and new shoes, but the rest of us are not allowed to spend or cost a single dime, because our needs (food and clothing and shelter) are not nearly as important as his own (smooching clients at strip clubs).

 

Perhaps this would be remedied if my parents changed some of their spending habits. For example, we could've eaten this week if my mother did not need to buy a $3000 sewing machine (bringing her collection up to three) with her "old" one perfectly working and capable of doing the negligent amount of sewing she does. But she needed it rightnow, as always, and so we spent more credit we didn't have instead of going through the arduous process of saving up for it first. Hell, maybe we could go completely crazy and pay a house or car off instead of moving out or buying a new one after a couple of years! Oh, God, that's completely insane. Let's get even more bonkers and stop buying things that cost too much and that we don't need! Oh, no, that makes waaaaaaay too much sense.

 

I can't wait to move out of this shitfest. I'm asking for more hours at work just to get out.

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"Hmm, okay, we can either feed the family for another week, or we can use the money we would've spent on groceries, add another four hundred dollars we don't have, and buy an LCD TV for the bathroom!"

 

We have no toilet paper. We have no bread. We have no milk. We have no cereal. We have no toothpaste. We have no vegetables, crackers, flour, soup, soap, or anything to eat or keep ourselves clean. And we're not allowed to go grocery shopping.

 

 

 

I am at this moment sitting at my computer utterly dumbfounded. :ugh:

 

I truly feel for you.

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Make a plan to move out, that's what I'm doing right now. Make it gradually so that you don't have to move back home. I've decided to not go back to college this fall but just work, work, work so I can save up more and move out faster. This will push college back even farther but I just don't give a fucking shit, I want freedom more and college is always there. One of these days I am going to finish my fucking business degree. I wish you the best Sage I really do, I know how much it can suck being in such a situation.

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You are 22 and employed, right? Why should your parents still be responsible for feeding you? No offense.

 

I'm 21 and employed part-time. It's a shitfest in here, but it's a shitfest out there, too.

 

It's turning more and more into a world where the average American kid cannot move out of their parents' home until they've gotten a college degree - that is, move out and have a future.

 

I admit that this place is a dump and I can't wait to get out, but I've seen too many kids get fed up and move out while they're still flipping burgers and get stuck in it for the rest of their lives. I don't want to do that. Admittedly a large part of that is due to the fact that I want to make decent money and watch my parents squirm when I spend it wisely and refuse to lend them any.

 

I wrote for information from my favorite college but I haven't heard back yet. To tell you the truth I'm half-convinced my father found it and threw it away before I could get to it.

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Make a plan to move out, that's what I'm doing right now. Make it gradually so that you don't have to move back home. I've decided to not go back to college this fall but just work, work, work so I can save up more and move out faster. This will push college back even farther but I just don't give a fucking shit, I want freedom more and college is always there. One of these days I am going to finish my fucking business degree. I wish you the best Sage I really do, I know how much it can suck being in such a situation.

 

 

Instead of getting a business degree (read, permision to be a slave) so that you can give your best years to some Multi-National-Corporation as an 80hr/week middle manager, start a business. If you can read, add, and subtract you can find out everything you need to know as you go along. What do you do in college? You read books. You don't need to pay someone for permision to do that. Of course you won't get your $50,000+ permision to be a slave, but screw 'em.

 

Gad, I wish I were young and sane!

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hehehe chef. Have you read that book: "how i found freedom in an unfree world" by harry browne? It sounds right up your ally. I'm totally plugging the hell out of this book and it's out of print. But you know how much "Ishmael" meant to you? that's how I feel about this book lol.

 

Also, is there ANYONE that works 80 hours a week? I was under the impression that an entire week only consisted of:

168 hours...and many of those are needed for sleep.

 

I'm in college right now part time, but it's more cause I really like college then anything else. Plus I"m at community college so it's not that big of a fucking expense.

 

I haven't read it -- yet.

 

I worked 80 weeks frequently. Work and sleep that's about all you do. Usually you get a few hours a week to yell at the kids and argue with the spouse. Sometimes I just stayed at the Hotel so I wouldn't have to waste time driving.

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My daughter is 21. She sorta lives here. She comes and goes, complains about the lack of food (translate: lack of food that she likes) and in general expects to have her bills paid for her.

 

I figure giving her a home, electricity, sat tv, air conditioning and good food (even if its not her choice) is sufficient.

 

She will bitch about the tacos made from ground turkey (as opposed to beef, which we don't eat, I because it rips my stomach apart, husband because of heart and cholesterol issues). Don't like my food? Buy your own.

 

Now, in your case, there is nothing there. That's a bit different. However, you are an adult, your parents are adults and what they spend their money on, is really their business. I'm sure my daughter had something to say about my new laptop (when I had a perfectly good desktop that never gets used anymore), or my new digicam..but, oh well. I worked my ass off last year. My money, my choice.

 

Do what you can to get free and on your own.

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I worked 80 weeks frequently. Work and sleep that's about all you do. Usually you get a few hours a week to yell at the kids and argue with the spouse. Sometimes I just stayed at the Hotel so I wouldn't have to waste time driving.

 

Ugh. I woulda put a bullet in my brain. Why do people do that kind of shit - become willing slaves for a corporation that considers them as expendable drones?

 

Glad to hear you gave it up, Cheffy! :goodjob:

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Unfortunately this is quite common these days. It doesn't matter how much money people can make, they spend so much on frivolous stuff, they end up penniless most of the time.

 

Definately get out as soon as you can. My mother was neurotic about money in a miserly way and wouldn't let me cook or use our kitchen without harassing me. So investing in a mini fridge and eating out a lot was something I had to do for several years until I was able to create the conditions enough to escape.

 

I can also sympathise with how rediculous it is trying to secure a decent enough job to live on your own. Don't give up and keep saving as much as you can.

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Good idea with the fridge. Just hang in there until you can stand on your own two feet. I jumped ship as soon as I could consistently gather $350 a month. No insurance for piss-on's at the organization I was working at, and - suprise - had to go to the hospital. And living with roomates blows. I'm still paying for the hospital trip. Just stay home and find a way to deal with it. Believe me the older you get, the more crap people give you for living with your parents, so make sure you do it once and do it right. I get shit all the time for choosing to dump by boyfriend and move back home. You know what? It's from people who are financially supported by their boyfriend, and what a shock; they're all staying with the guys because they can't support themselves. Boy, when it's put like that I wish I stayed with my ex until I used him to get out of school and dump him then. I wish I was as smart and terribly depressed as they are. :Doh:

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:lmao: Dianka.. :lmao:

 

I'm actually trying to convince my daughter to stay here, save her money...and get on her feet. But some days..when she complains nonstop about not having what she wants...it really gets on my last nerve, ya know?

 

She's not starving, her child is well fed and we give her gas money, work on her car for free, free rent, and all that goes with living in the house. I have also payed her cell phone bill several times, along with her auto insurance.

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I haven't read it -- yet.

 

Have you heard of it though?

 

I worked 80 weeks frequently. Work and sleep that's about all you do. Usually you get a few hours a week to yell at the kids and argue with the spouse. Sometimes I just stayed at the Hotel so I wouldn't have to waste time driving.

 

That SUCKS. Did you ever go into business for yourself?

 

No I haven't heard of it before.

 

Yes, I did. I had a chimney sweeping buisness when people started burning a lot of wood back in the 70's energy crisis. It was starting to roll a bit when I got side tracked by Amway. (Ya, I was a sucker for evangelists). Through Amway I got the evangelical fundimentalist virus and ended up in bible college. After being beat up by the church and going nuts with the PTSD thing (though I didn't know what it was at the time) I didn't have the gumption to do it again. Stupid though, I made those hotel folks a lot of money. That's what fear does for you.

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:lmao: Dianka.. :lmao:

 

I'm actually trying to convince my daughter to stay here, save her money...and get on her feet. But some days..when she complains nonstop about not having what she wants...it really gets on my last nerve, ya know?

 

She's not starving, her child is well fed and we give her gas money, work on her car for free, free rent, and all that goes with living in the house. I have also payed her cell phone bill several times, along with her auto insurance.

 

Holy crap Lizard, I wish my mommy paid my cell phone bills. Shit, I wish I could afford a cell phone. Actually it's quite the opposite for me. I clean the house, buy the food (I don't really see her much because she works days and I work nights so we cook for ourselves when the mood strikes), do the laundry, and many many other things. She likes me around here, and I'm eternally grateful for having a place to stay while I'm going to nursing school. I'm so much happier here too. I would have absolutely no chance of getting through school if I lived on my own. It was either this or live in misery with the boyfriend who was pressuring me to marry him, or cut my losses.

 

You should send your daughter to live with us. My momma would break her down in a week. No disrespect intended, but apying her cellphone isn't helping her figure out how to live within her means. I hope she wakes up and quits complaining.

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You are 22 and employed, right? Why should your parents still be responsible for feeding you? No offense.

 

I'm 21 and employed part-time. It's a shitfest in here, but it's a shitfest out there, too.

 

It's turning more and more into a world where the average American kid cannot move out of their parents' home until they've gotten a college degree - that is, move out and have a future.

 

I admit that this place is a dump and I can't wait to get out, but I've seen too many kids get fed up and move out while they're still flipping burgers and get stuck in it for the rest of their lives. I don't want to do that. Admittedly a large part of that is due to the fact that I want to make decent money and watch my parents squirm when I spend it wisely and refuse to lend them any.

 

I wrote for information from my favorite college but I haven't heard back yet. To tell you the truth I'm half-convinced my father found it and threw it away before I could get to it.

 

The Sage, I have that fear as well. What if I move out and get stuck in shitty jobs for the rest of my life? Honestly I don't think that will happen, not as long as you keep your eyes on the goals that you want to achieve in your life. I've seen my mom dig us out of poverty, first with her marriage to my dad because he was a deadbeat and then when she divorced my stepdad because he was a control freak. He reminds me of your dad, he was well-off but totally cheap. When she left that marriage, well he pretty much left us with nothing. Now my mom owns her business, its small but its hers and while we have our issues I'm welcome to live at home. But I admit that I'm itching to get out on my own as well.

 

You have a good head on your shoulders and you're very intelligent, so I'm sure if you had to plan out your escape then you could do it. Start small, start saving. What I'm doing right now is paying off my credit card debt and saving up money. I really do think its all about cash flow, controlling yourself when it comes to spending, and being able to look out after yourself. I think parents try to keep us scared about the real world but people keep telling me that its really not us bad as the 'rents make it out to be.

 

Also if you can then try to build your credit history, I know that Capital One which I have, targets college students by sending out applications, you can apply with them or at your local bank. Try to switch to full-time if only for a short time so you can save up money and eventually get out on your own.

 

You seem like a strong person to me, so I believe that you can do it even though we don't know each other in real life. You write well and express yourself exquisitely, and on top of that you seem to be very determined that this is not how you want to live for the rest of your life. You have managed to come out knowing that its not good for women to serve guys on hand and foot, and that it sucks being stuck in a marriage to a control freak.

 

Don't you know how ahead you are of so many people your age? Because you are. At 21, I was not ahead as you are right now and right now I'm 23, still living at home and still figuring things out, I wish that I had been smart like you at your age. You can do it girly, just hang in there, you will make it! :grin::woohoo: I'm cheering you on and keep us posted on your progress, I like seeing good things happen to good people. :grin:

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I complain a lot about my mom's evangelistic attempts but she does do a lot for me. And I do appreciate what she does.

 

She encouraged me to live at home -- mostly to get the occasional Jesus jab in but also to help me get on my feet. And if she hadn't done that, I would be homeless right now. It is nearly impossible to get a house in this area as a young single teacher. I'm looking for roommates at the school where I work now.

 

My mom makes me pay rent... but not to her. It goes into a savings account to help me move out. I split the internet and phone bill with her. And I give her money for utilities as often as I think she needs it but she never asks. I buy my own food but sometimes I eat her's as well.

 

It is a really good deal. Of course, it's not the greatest deal and I was minutes away from asking a girl out until she started bitching about her old boyfriend and how he moved back in with his parents. So I do feel the need to get the hell out of here.

 

But if the situation was like The Sage's... I would have to leave asap.

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Instead of getting a business degree (read, permision to be a slave) so that you can give your best years to some Multi-National-Corporation as an 80hr/week middle manager, start a business. If you can read, add, and subtract you can find out everything you need to know as you go along. What do you do in college? You read books. You don't need to pay someone for permision to do that. Of course you won't get your $50,000+ permision to be a slave, but screw 'em.

 

Gad, I wish I were young and sane!

 

I get what you're saying Chef, but how do I do that? How? I want to own an adult store online (despite the fact that I'm still a virgin but anyhow), how the hell do I find out all the shit that I'm supposed to find out? Like where to go and buy the shit that I need to buy, how to ship it to customers privately, etc? Frankly my business courses haven't been helpful at all.

 

I honestly don't know how some people drop out and become millionaires. I don't want to turn this thread into some adult online business thing and how to start it up, but I would just like to know how you expect young people without a college education to actually figure it out? Because I would love to have it figured out without actually having to go to college and that environment is not for me. :shrug:

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Knightley: Maybe you could try looking up books, at your local library, about starting a business? That'd at least be something...

 

 

 

<--- Really should follow that advice, too.

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Knightley: Maybe you could try looking up books, at your local library, about starting a business? That'd at least be something...

 

<--- Really should follow that advice, too.

 

Hey sweet pea, that's what I'm doing on my own. I'm going to the college library and local library looking up textbooks and not registering for the classes, LOL. I can read those textbooks in a two week limit and not waste my semester, the textbooks though helpful tell you nothing about starting a business. Although taking Economics was helpful, but still where do you go and find the stuff that you need to find?

 

I am pretty much educating myself right now, if I want to learn about something I go and find out about it on my own. I research it on my own instead of waiting to sign up for a college course. I'm not against college but sometimes the system gets under my skin. And Jackson is right, my mom got mad when I got my own cell phone 2 months ago, and we had a 10 minute fight over it, "why did you get a cell phone?" Uh because I wanted to, I am asserting my independence slowly. I was surprised and now she quit paying for car insurance so I'm paying for it on my own. Its really not so bad paying your own bills. ;)

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Hey sweet pea, that's what I'm doing on my own. I'm going to the college library and local library looking up textbooks and not registering for the classes, LOL.

Oops! I missed that part. Sorry. :D

 

But yeah, paying bills isn't too bad, if you watch what you spend. I've got my own cellphone. It's a Nokia TracPhone, which frees me from any hellish contracts with phone companies. I just fill 'er up with a pre-paid minutes card when I need it. I also am paying my student loan bills and DSL internet access. I also give a week's worth gas money to my mom when I can, as she's usually my wheels, which is cheaper than the cab fare and more reliable than the buses 'round here. If I were more than a $7-an-hour girl, I could stretch those pennies even farther.

 

Unfortunately, I have about a grand in hospital bills to cover and no insurance. And mom's been kind to me, but she's been treading water with paying the rent and utilities for the past several months. The gas company's been threatening to shut off our gas. I want to do something more to help her, but my resources right now are pretty limited.

 

Fortunately, I'm in the running for a promotion to photo lab supervisor at [place popular drugstore name here]. Which means I'll be a lab technician with extra bucks in my pocket, full time hours and health is covered. And I've been trying to save money up while paying my bills and purchasing the medication I need.

 

And, um... I'm not sure why I blurted out all that. Maybe because I needed to bitch? And, in my own odd way, sympathize with every other young'un who's struggling? I don't know. But it felt good to get that off my chest...

 

Uh... carry on, folks. ^_^

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Instead of getting a business degree (read, permision to be a slave) so that you can give your best years to some Multi-National-Corporation as an 80hr/week middle manager, start a business. If you can read, add, and subtract you can find out everything you need to know as you go along. What do you do in college? You read books. You don't need to pay someone for permision to do that. Of course you won't get your $50,000+ permision to be a slave, but screw 'em.

 

Gad, I wish I were young and sane!

 

Well, I won't tell anyone not to get a degree, just due to the fact that going to school had such a life-changing effect on myself, but I echo chef's words here: start a business. Don't sell yourself short, if you let yourself be creative, you will work out a viable business plan that is profitable and rewarding. Your brain will provide the output you ask of it. If you ask for negative output, it will provide you with negative answers. If you allow it to dream, it will surprise you.

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I get what you're saying Chef, but how do I do that? How? I want to own an adult store online (despite the fact that I'm still a virgin but anyhow), how the hell do I find out all the shit that I'm supposed to find out? Like where to go and buy the shit that I need to buy, how to ship it to customers privately, etc? Frankly my business courses haven't been helpful at all.

 

I honestly don't know how some people drop out and become millionaires. I don't want to turn this thread into some adult online business thing and how to start it up, but I would just like to know how you expect young people without a college education to actually figure it out? Because I would love to have it figured out without actually having to go to college and that environment is not for me. :shrug:

 

You won't learn this in business school. I started my own online business over 5 years ago now and just learned what I had to by trial, error, and common sense. Don't be afraid to get your nose bloodied. Embrace that you will be wrong sometimes. Try to figure out how to get started without a large amount of capital investment. Ask the following questions:

 

1) How will I distinguish myself from my competition? (in other words, what is going to be unique about your store that will help you stand out from the crowd?)

2) How will I market my business? (spend time learning about website promotion and online marketing. It's all on the internet - read).

 

Then, research the following:

 

1) Suppliers and their terms.

2) The mechanics of shipping your products.

3) Building a website with a workable shopping cart.

 

If you address these issues, you will be well on your way. From there you will need to tweak and constantly work to improve. If you do this, you will be successful. The key is don't stop improving and thinking creatively.

 

One last thing, you have to have the attitude that you will not, under any circumstances accept defeat or failure. Tell yourself that there is a solution to every problem and don't accept a negative answer; NO MATTER WHAT.

 

Just some thoughts from my own experiences. I hope they help others.

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I get what you're saying Chef, but how do I do that? How? I want to own an adult store online (despite the fact that I'm still a virgin but anyhow), how the hell do I find out all the shit that I'm supposed to find out? Like where to go and buy the shit that I need to buy, how to ship it to customers privately, etc? Frankly my business courses haven't been helpful at all.

 

 

Knightley

 

Chris Malta is Ebay Radios, Product Source Director. He has a of free ebook Starting Your Internet Business Right, showing how to go about properly starting an online business. This isn't all about ebay either and his company puts out a list of trustable sources for wholesalers and dropshippers. You can also download the following product for a free trial, The Market Research Wizard. His site is really well put together and helpful even to beginners despite age. Even Chris's homepage has useful information The Top Five Things You Should Know About Product Sourcing . Good luck to you.

 

If one is going to college in order to be a doctor or something to that effect where they do make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, I think that that is great. Just don't fool yourself into thinking that college education automatically = financial success because it does not. My husband has never been to college and yet he is making up to $30K more than the college graduates that he is in charge of and he is only 36. And there are MANY college graduates who are not living financially free, they may have great homes and cars and the latest gizmos and gadgets but they are totally stressed because of debt. Of course there are also many non-college grads living the same way.

 

We watched a show one night a year or so ago on Dateline or one of the nighttime news shows and it was about the 'average' millionaire. They are very financially cautious, do not live about or even at their means and do not have debt coming out their ass, most payed cash for everything, saved and invested wisely.

 

My best advice is unless you are going to buy a house have no other kind of debt, except maybe a car and cut up the damn credit cards except one to use in an emergency. When purchasing a home, get a 10 year mortgage, pay bi-weekly and have it payed for in 7 1/2 years. There is your biggest asset. Once your home is payed for buy an inexpensive property, and either flip it or rent it but that way you are earning extra income and your house is PAID FOR so use that money however, invest in some safe stocks. To some of you 36 is old but we're very excited about having our home paid for by the time we're 42. Lastly, don't worry about trying to have the latest fashions or top dollar cars, don't try and keep up with the Jones's. Spending your money wisely will help on the road to financial success and keep you out of debt.

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