Open_Minded Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I have this VERY fundy - intensely literalist - Catholic Cousin. She does everything "for Jesus" and informs EVERY one that she "did it for Jesus". We all get quite tired of hearing about how all her actions are "for Jesus". Well a few nights ago - several members of our family were sitting around the dinner table - and my cousin was once again talking about her day and the different things she had "done for Jesus". At the end of her rather lengthly diatrab - she looked at the rest of as though she had something really deep to communicate. She said a few words about living life and how one should always live life "for Jesus", one should get up out of bed and go through the day thinking, "Do it for Jesus". Well --- my sister's husband --- on the heels of hearing this tripe year-end and year-out smiled sweetly - looked at my sister and said: "Honey, I think 'Do it for Jesus' is a great saying. I'm going to make a wooden plaque that says 'Do it for Jesus' and hang it over our bed ...... what do you think"? NOW that's a come-back Thought you'd all enjoy - and hey maybe you can think of a few things that you "do for Jesus". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I used to get a lot of that in my Catholic fundy days. Does she wipe her ass for Jebus? Personally, I'd ask Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 LOL! That's actually quite funny. Thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted August 19, 2006 Author Share Posted August 19, 2006 LOL! That's actually quite funny. Thanks for sharing. Yeh ... it was pretty funny. I about spewed the tea I was drinking at the time. Predictably, my cousin exited the scene within seconds. (My brother-in-law accomplished his mission - we were all VERY proud of him). When she left - one of my brothers said, "Whaaaat ..... she and her husband have made enough babies for Jesus to populate a small village". He was only half joking - at the time we were eating dinner at a family reunion in a community where half the population has my father's last name. She and her husband are major contributors - their children are now grown and contributing even more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampyre Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I love it. I don't think I could have sat through it though, I get upset when I see people praying over their food. Much more so when someone tells me everything they are doing to spread ignorance in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epicurienne Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 When people say things like that, I think of all the serial killers who "did it for Jesus." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrisonjj Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 You could do a fuckin dance for jesus and you'll get the same response,,,,,nothing!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 "Honey, I think 'Do it for Jesus' is a great saying. I'm going to make a wooden plaque that says 'Do it for Jesus' and hang it over our bed ...... what do you think"? I can think of other places that you could hang that plaque. "Do it for Jesus" over the toilet. After all, a good bowel movement is next to Godliness. "Do it for Jesus" over the bar. Drink a toast to Jesus, King of beers. "Do it for Jesus" dangling from the rear view mirror. It just might get you out of that traffic ticket from the fundy cop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrisonjj Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Make me fuckin cum for fuckin jeeeezus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrisonjj Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 When people say things like that, I think of all the serial killers who "did it for Jesus." Then when these serial killers are in jail, ever notice how many of them them "find fuckin christ?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 I don't know, I'd probably have reminded her of the whole pharasee thing...you know, don't be loud about what you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts