Gaura Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Life was a mixed bag before, and after. One could point to some of the bad spots in my life, such as my stillbirth and say that God is trying to force me back. Baloney. I was Pagan before I lost William, and stayed that way. I count that time of my life as a really big "Shit happens" sort of thing. But, the truth is that I would never have gotten married had I remained a loyal Catholic as my husband was doubting his faith, almost to the point of being agnostic, when we met. We've been through five years of dating, nine years of marriage next month-- who can say that we weren't meant to be together? Deconverting made that possible. Life happens. We can choose to learn from what happens, treating it as an opportunity to become better, or we can pass it off as being some defect of faith, blaming either God or Satan. I choose to learn, it's generally more productive. I agree with the others that the pastor was using a fear tactic to keep you in the fold. Think for a minute as to why Christians have to resort to fear and manipulation to keep people faithful to a "loving" God. And aren't they supposed to be like their God? Oh wait, they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Demona- Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 "The rain will fall on the just and the unjust." -- Matthew 5:45, paraphrased Things haven't changed a great deal since I've deconverted. It's gotten a little better, but I've learned that the things in life naturally occur in cycles. If you're having a bad time of it right now, the wheel will turn and things'll get better for awhile. But it won't stay either in a good or bad place. That's just life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evelyn Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 Well, I'll be the odd ball out and say yes, my life has gone to shit. Worst fucking year of my life. But I'm pretty sure it's a coincidence, and the bright side is that deconverting has left me a stronger, saner person, and I'm coping with this crap far better than I would have before. I would be a total mess right now if I were still Christian. Trying to have faith in God and look at things from a spiritual POV always left me bordering on being stark raving mad when life got really tough. Some people find comfort in religion, but it tended to have an opposite effect on me. "Shit happens" I can/have to just deal with. "Why is God doing this to me? What's God trying to teach me? Has a failure to conquer sin brought this about? Where are you, God? Please help me!" always fucked me up. Amen, I was the same way when I was an xian, glad to be free of that mindset Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riverbank Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 Since my deconversion it has been a long process to get back on track, and my life probably isn't as good as it was when I was a Christian, but things are getting better and this site has certainly helped me a lot. But it feels good to know that I am in control of my life rather than constantly relying on god to help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KT45 Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 I've been out for about 3 months. Besides annoying conversations and mild paranoia, No. I'm still kinda in the closet since only my parents know but I don't plan on telling anyone unless they ask. Maybe bad things will happen then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnceConvinced Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 I haven't gone to church regularly for 2 years now. I guess you could say I'm at the beginning stages of deconversion definitely now. In the last 2 years life has actually been better. I got a great job with decent pay in the field I wanted (which I couldn't get at all while I was a faithful Christian). And now I have a great loyal non-christian girlfriend who is faithful to me unlike my slut of a Christian ex wife who I seperated from in 2003. Apart from the way I'm feeling about losing my faith at the moment, life is pretty sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megara Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 No. My peak of being miserable was actually during the period of time in which I was most "on fire" about god. As people said before, "shit happens", and of course, "bad things" have happened since I deconverted, but besides my Christian family and friends freaking out, the "bad things" would have happened regardless of my deconversion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 I've been out for about 3 months. Besides annoying conversations and mild paranoia, No. I'm still kinda in the closet since only my parents know but I don't plan on telling anyone unless they ask. Maybe bad things will happen then Awww - still a little bit worried, eh? Well, Taylor (and all you other fledgling de-converts), it gets better & easier. Honestly. There will come a time when all that religious programming will be just a memory, and you'll chuckle at how you used to fret about it. I'm not trying to come off as Mr. Big Shot Who Never Has Doubts Or Problems, but I've been de-converted for awhile now and am enjoying life so much more. Even with all my current financial/personal problems, I enjoy every day that I can and feel pretty good about myself. And if you knew me as a xtian, you'd never have believed it would be possible. If I can do it, anyone can. I'm kind of a screwball. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tigg13 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 A few years ago I was having a conversation with a fired up christian about how great my life was since I deconverted. He told me he was going to pray to god and ask him to bring troubles and hardships into my life so that I would see the "glory of god". A few months later, I actually did have a run of bad luck - I lost my job and had a hard time finding work. I wound up doing assembly work at a real crappy factory. I remembered what that guy had said and wondered if he actually did have something to do with my situation - until he got hired at the same factory. It turned out that his life had been going downhill faster than mine! And while all he could do was whine about how god was "trying his soul" and act like a helpless victem day after day, I had taken each set back as a challenge and took each day as an opportunity to make my life better. I wound up making conections at that job that led me to a position with a better company than I started with. He got canned after a week and a half! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megara Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 A few years ago I was having a conversation with a fired up christian about how great my life was since I deconverted. He told me he was going to pray to god and ask him to bring troubles and hardships into my life so that I would see the "glory of god". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Freestate Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Interesting question and it gets at the heart of alot of the reasons that keep people chained in fear to religion. With me I had all kinds of bad things that were happening when I was considered "backslidden" and not fully out of the fold. Christians would take two different sides depending on my statements about God. They would say stuff like "You have let an evil spirit in" or "you have moved from out of Gods protection" if I was doubting . Then there were times that I was in a "believing mode" where i was trying to get answers for why all these terrible things were happening. In those circumstances Christians would say things like " bad things sometimes happen to good people because Satan is tempting you" or worse " God is testing you", which is reall y the same thing isn't it ? Since the reasons were dependent on my attitude I concluded the obvious which was that none of these people really knew anything but were claiming to. A trait that I think we all agree is predominant amongst fundies. I found it especially hard to stop from thinking I was being punished when bad things happened to me when I first started leaving Christianity. Just one more reason its all bullshit. He who says he loves you and yet holds a threat of punishment over you if you don't love them back does not really love you. So the answer is No. Shit happens whether you are a Christian or not. How we process the event is another story. A fundamentalist thinks everything happening to him is personal and is directed by God. When bad things happen he has either sinned or is being tempted by the devil. A rational person realizes that we live in a world in which all things fall apart, and the only constant is change. bad things happen and so do good ones. Some people find comfort in religion, but it tended to have an opposite effect on me. "Shit happens" I can/have to just deal with. "Why is God doing this to me? What's God trying to teach me? Has a failure to conquer sin brought this about? Where are you, God? Please help me!" always fucked me up. Wow! my feelings to a tee. You couldn't have put it better. I'll add to it. If God was in fact trying to teach us something or convict us of sin as a loving father would do, why leave us in doubt and confusion as to what the problem or sin is? Duh? Not much of a teacher, not much of a father, not much of anything really... I can almost hear an arrogant Christian response to this one; "you weren't listening" or some such crap... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 A few years ago I was having a conversation with a fired up christian about how great my life was since I deconverted. He told me he was going to pray to god and ask him to bring troubles and hardships into my life so that I would see the "glory of god". <snip> I wound up making conections at that job that led me to a position with a better company than I started with. He got canned after a week and a half! The truly sad part is that he did not truly learn from that experience. He might even claim that satan had rewarded you for being unchristian, after all employment is a secular worldly life requirement......but you will pay it back in spades "in the end, when all is said and done!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyb Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 If God was in fact trying to teach us something or convict us of sin as a loving father would do, why leave us in doubt and confusion as to what the problem or sin is? Duh? Not much of a teacher, not much of a father, not much of anything really... I can almost hear an arrogant Christian response to this one; "you weren't listening" or some such crap... Or "But God, like a good father, wants you to really grow! To be a mature Christian you have to be willing to look inside yourself and at the world honestly. It's your job to confess your sin...that's all He asks...God is helping you...remember the "footprints" poem? " Bla bla bla. I can not believe how much effort I used to put into over intellectualizing that superstitious nonsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluewizard Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 No, my life has gotten better. I've lost 90 pounds, nearly 100 going from 250 to 153 and have put exercise into my life everyday skipping rope 3000 times every other day and running 5 or more miles every other day. I feel a lot better not believing and am comfortable though it's diffcult to be an open atheist in my area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bael Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 I was warned by a former pastor, who learned I was looking at feminine divine and "new age" stuff, that my life was going to take a terrible turn. Bad things would start happening to me now that I was rejecting scripture and getting involved in these evil teachings. Yes, he was serious. I told him I thought God was leading me, as I'd been praying for years to be "Lead into all truth". I never heard back from him. His warning felt like a "curse". So far, nothing terrible has happened except the withdrawal/sadness that comes from huge life changes...even when they are true and good. Letting go of forty years of believing in Jesus is not always happy. Anyway, my question is have you noticed "bad things" happening at a greater rate now that you have deconverted? WakingUp My husband use to be in a cultic Christian Church. They told him that "You are leaving the covering!" This meant that god's protection would not be on him after he left. Apparently stories were spread around the church about people who left and died in a plane crash etc,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffXL Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Actually, my life got better after I became an atheist. I had the stupidest (this is embarassing to admit) sense of entitlement: Invisible Sky Daddy would surely help me out/Show me the way! When I realized that depending on beings that actually exist (like friends and family) when I needed them for support, while doing things myself without depending on an imaginary, powerless friend, it was truly liberating. Most important, my depression evaporated. Still, I was in a car accident a year and a half ago that resulted in two cracked ribs! Surely that was punishment from Krishna! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Have more bad things happened since I deconverted? Not at all. First, it's hard to deconvert if one has never been fully converted in the first place. Secondly, the day I made official plans to leave the church I was flooded with peace and joy and liberty that I had been seeking in vain inside the church for forty years. I turned my back on God because I realized I had to take responsibility if I wanted good things to happen in my life. Thus my deconversion such as it was was a deliberate and conscious decision to improve my life. And have it ever worked out well! Let's see, I did have my first serious traffic accident half a year later. But I landed in front of a car and didn't get hurt beyond a concussion and broken rib. Considering that I was thrown out of the buggy into the path of an on-coming car and got away with only these minor injuries, that seems more like a miraculous protection rather than a bad thing. So maybe the god of the unbeliever has more power than the Bible God. Or maybe I was just lucky. Bottom line: life is better by far than before. Ruby I forgot one thing. In my church members were not allowed to have health cards (universal health care plan for those of you who may be unfamiliar with the term) because the church wanted to care for its own. When I left the church the first thing I did was begin the process of getting myself a health card in case of accident or other expenses. Neither did I have a social insurance number, also because of the church's position against goverment hand-outs. Nor did I have a birth certificate because I had never needed one. Before I could get a health card I needed a birth certificate and social insurance number. Since I have always lived in the province that was not problem. These things just take time--six weeks for one thing, a month or two for another--you get the picture. Well, I got my health card perhaps a month before my accident. If there is a God who cares for such details then he certainly timed things just right for me. If there is not a God who cares about such things, they worked out very well all the same. Perfect timing. Christians take that to indicated that it was God's loving care when things are time so closely. So no, not more bad things have happened since I deconverted. Rather, lots more good things have happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Everglaze Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Yeah, I really don't think Christianity has anything to do with good and bad outcomes of anything in life. In fact, tons of Christians suffer tremendous losses and so do non-Christians. It's just accidents happen, obstacles are put in paths and one thing leads to another. I know how people always try to warn me by telling examples of bad fortune coming over close ones that strayed from the 'path of righteousness,' but I think that's just a scare tactic or bad fortune on behalf of the person. There are always the good and the bad in everyone's lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 I would have to say some of the most terrible things that have happened to me were because of choices I made due to my belief is Chrisitanity. If I were not a Christian I would have made different choices and life would have been better for me all around. I don't have to live my life anymore by a anyone elses rules. I can do what I think is best and not have to worry about what some imaginary being will think of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 My life since shit-canning superstion has been a mixed bag....just as it was before. No difference except now I can sleep in Sundays if i want and have more money in my pocket for me instead of giving it to the church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eponymic Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Anyway, my question is have you noticed "bad things" happening at a greater rate now that you have deconverted? Not in the least. In truth my life is the best it's ever been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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