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Fear Of Death


Guest Loghann
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Guest Loghann

Today was my last day at home before getting on a plane to go to college, halfway across the country. My mom was driving me back from my dad's house, where I picked up a duffel bag so I could finish packing, when we were badly rear-ended by a large white van (we were in a Honda Civic). Apparently the driver had fallen asleep at the wheel, and hit us full speed as we were slowing down for a stop light. Mom and I both got whiplash, had to get strapped to the backboards, driven in the ambulance, given x-rays and CT scans, the whole enchilada. Anyway, that's not the point of this post, I'm feeling no pain because of fun meds now.

 

Last summer I was on a plane with my mother heading home from Chicago. We hit severe turbulence and I freaked out (besides any other factors, I just hate flying.). Having recently deconverted, I was absolutely terrified of dying, the fear of death, being wrong, and sent to Hell was so very fresh in my mind. I still think of myself as being afraid of death, but today kind of proved me wrong.

 

We were hit so hard that our car was moved into the oncoming traffic lane. I watched it happen in slow motion, but the strangest thing happened: I wasn't afraid. My mother was flipping out (not only were we trying to finish packing, her car was only 3 months old and nearly totalled), but I was unnaturally calm. It was strange.

 

I guess the whole point of this is that I'm finally moving on. :grin: The fear of Hell and the wrath of God is starting to lose it's grip on me, and it's quite heartening. It's taken a long time to get here, but for anyone who's going through it, be hopeful. It'll happen eventually.

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the same kind of thing happened to me fairly recently. I started a thread on it too. And I think another person almost died in a car accident and reported the same type of calm. Strange, but kinda cool.

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I guess the whole point of this is that I'm finally moving on. :grin: The fear of Hell and the wrath of God is starting to lose it's grip on me, and it's quite heartening. It's taken a long time to get here, but for anyone who's going through it, be hopeful. It'll happen eventually.

 

 

Loghann,

 

Welcome to the land of the fearless! :clap:

 

Hope you will recover fast from whiplash.

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the same kind of thing happened to me fairly recently. I started a thread on it too. And I think another person almost died in a car accident and reported the same type of calm. Strange, but kinda cool.

 

Yeah, it's a weird feeling. The very moment it happens to you, you're calm... distant... almost disconnected with the whole thing. Only after it's all over do you start to think "what if?". :scratch:

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I haven't had a fear of death since I was a Christian. Granted, my last fling with Jebus was when I was 13 years old... (and was based entirely on FEAR).

 

I got food poisoning when I was 19... I was so sick that I literally couldn't get up off the floor. I remember thinking to myself that I very well could die pretty soon... and I didn't really have a problem with that. It didn't even cross my mind to be afraid.

 

Since then I"ve been in two fairly severe car wrecks- If the other driver had been going 20mph faster in either case, it could've killed me. My experience in both cases was pretty similar to yours- a strange slow motion, but no fear. I think this means that deep down we truely BELIEVE that there's no Gawd, Hell, heck, etc.

 

If that last car wreck would've killed me... at least I'd have gone out with some irony. My brother and I were riding in the back seat of a friend's ford Taurus. We were stopped, waiting to make a left turn... and some woman in a big 4wd 3/4 ton ford pickup just didn't see us- ran right into the back of the car going about 50mph. I happened to look back a split second before the collision, saw the truck coming fast, and yelled "GOD DAMN IT!" Those would've been some good last words.

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