Jump to content

Church Signs


lkcollins
 Share

Recommended Posts

Good Sunday morning all!

I live in Eastern NC, where there is a church on every corner and in every abandon building and , of course they all have those signs, with thier bits of humor and so call wisdom. You never know what great truths or guilt trip they will display this week in so few words. I thought about going out and buy me one those signs and and share some of my thoughts. I wish I had the nerve, I really do. So my friends, if you had one of those signs in your front yard, what bit of wisdom would you share? If I am in the wrong section feel free to move me..

Here is one of my favorite..

 

"GO SLAP A BLIND MAN, WHY BE NICER THAN GOD" Iranian proverb

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not any particularly funny ones, but there's a church near here, a Christian church, that has at least two Israeli flags fluttering all over it and its sign, and the sign says "Whoever blesses Israel gains my blessing" (paraphrased). A little too political for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

While driving by a Wesleyan church, I saw a new one that I hadn't heard of before. "God is like Alka-Seltzer: Oh, what a relief He is"! I think it would have been more interesting if they had left in the "plop plop, fizz fizz"! Maybe you need an Alka-Seltzer after you attend their church.

 

lkcollins original question, however, was what sign would you put up now. I always liked a quote by Marlene Winell "Choose life and love, instead of righteousness and judgement". I think that would make a neat bumpersticker, too. Also see my signature quote.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

While driving by a Wesleyan church, I saw a new one that I hadn't heard of before. "God is like Alka-Seltzer: Oh, what a relief He is"! I think it would have been more interesting if they had left in the "plop plop, fizz fizz"! Maybe you need an Alka-Seltzer after you attend their church.

 

 

Maybe you just need it for the potluck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I must admit, I've dreamed of doing a little creative editing on a few of those church signs. Still on a serious note were I to put up one of those myself I think I would go with:

 

"Hands that help are far better than lips that pray."

-Robert Ingersoll, The Gods

 

Or maybe:

 

“All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.”

 

Stendhal

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some church signs in my town include:

 

"If life's a beach who put it there?"

 

"Instant access to God" (or something like that)

 

"Get into the son this summer" (ha fucking ha)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Boy, these church sign threads just keep going and going.

 

Passed by an Ass of God church that is doing a weekly series on "Portraits of Jesus". Yesterday's sermon title dealt with portrait #4: "Down and Dirty". Now that's a version of Jesus I'd like to see! :wicked:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I debated creating a new thread for this, but decided just to add it here.

 

This sign around the corner from where I live just struck me as funny...

 

251807514_13697eb6d4.jpg

 

Personally, I prefer to keep my dieties in a plastic bag rather than a can.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's a Baptist church in the neighbourhood that's got "Jesus loves the little children" on its sign.

 

I keep wanting to add "with ketchup."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is a church down the street from me. It says " Jesus Saves" that may not be unusiual but right above the door it has credit cards they accept. When I saw that I thought WTF and started to laugh. I said to my self " Those Christians."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

I debated creating a new thread for this, but decided just to add it here.

 

This sign around the corner from where I live just struck me as funny...

 

251807514_13697eb6d4.jpg

 

Personally, I prefer to keep my dieties in a plastic bag rather than a can.

 

When I saw it, I imagined the people putting it up, fumbling around like "God can...God can...well, what CAN God do?..."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I know how you feel, I had to displeasure of coming across a chruch sign not far from where I live that read "the bible is right, thats settles it believe it or not". Goddamnit I wanted to give them a peice of my mind...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I saw a sign on a Baptist church in Kentucky that said "Cares for Sinners".

 

I laughed my ASS off!

 

Yeah.....cares those homosexuals, pro-choicers, and liberal sinners right to HELL!

 

Considering the kind of "care" these people have where they show ripped up fetuses (R rated material) to the general public to discourage abortion, I think I'd like it better if they chose to not "care" about everyone so much.

 

"Care" like that gets your writing hand amputated when all you are suffering from is a cold.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.