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Top 10 Signs Of A Christian


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http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/Top10.htm

 

 

 

Top Ten Signs that You're a Christian

 

 

 

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

 

 

 

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

 

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

 

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!

 

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

 

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.

 

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".

 

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.

 

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

 

1 - You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian.

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Whilst there are some very good points in that list - I really don't like the way it is worded. I don't think it goes anywhere towards opening dialogue with christians and the tone of it is more likely to get peoples backs up and arguing irrelevent points (like whether christians face actually turn purple or not) than getting the message across.

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the tone of it is more likely to get peoples backs up and arguing irrelevent points (like whether christians face actually turn purple or not) than getting the message across.

 

Yeah, that's for sure. I debate with a really annoying fundy on another board and his words would be.....

 

"I have a problem with you saying that the Christian's face turns purple....."

and then waffle on about that fact avoiding the main point of the argument.

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... the tone of it is more likely to get peoples backs up and arguing irrelevent points ... than getting the message across.

I don't think it's supposed to "get a message across" - it's just funny! My favorite is #6.

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I have a buddy I grew up with (we've known each other since we were 10 from church). He doesn't go to church anymore, but lets his mother take his kids. Anyway, he has a mailing list and usually sends out right wing crap that pisses me off. When I respond he just laughs and says he just likes to get people's reactions.

 

Long story short, I challenged him to send out this top 10 to his mailing list. Surprisingly, he agreed. Here's some of the responses:

 

So far all's quiet. I only got an "ouch" response from one person. And another who said "you're not just rocking the boat, you're the iceberg that sank the titanic!". lol

 

Actually the only sign that I need to know that I am a Christian is this:

1) I have acknowledged that on my own I fall WAY short, I have confessed

my sins, I believe in Jesus Christ to forgive my sins and put my faith in

His Atoning Death that vicariously paid for the sin debt that I had.

 

Chris, While I am not offended at all the patriotic/right wing stuff that

you put out this DOES offend me. If this is how you feel truly about

Christians then I would really like to have a one on one conversation with

you. You KNOW that isnt how you were raised. You KNOW that there has to be

something beyond just day to day living.

 

And while you might not want to admit it you must sense every once in a

while that there is a Caring Loving God who has a special purpose for you. I

know that you have had a terrible loss that in no way on earth makes sense.

I understand that bitterness can come from that. But the same rains that

can cause floods in one town water the fields in another to feed a nation...

 

Really, as a friend if you want to really debate or talk or WHATEVER... I

am here just ask!

Kimberly

 

And his response to the one just above:

 

No. How about a whiskey and some more good jokes.

 

Don't you see the irony in laughing at my muslim jokes, or john kerry jokes, OR bill clinton jokes still, or minorities of varying stripes jokes, or whatever that is not offending to you personally jokes, but being so offended at this, this one joke, that you not only read the whole thing but then thought a good condescending typically christian holier than thou response was the one thing that would win me over? C'mon - your'e a smart woman. The thing that would win me over would be to intelligently argue the points made in this joke. And let me continue to reiterate - a joke. Have you ever gotten anything from me, excluding death e-mails, that was serious?

Seriously, just the fact that I'm the sender should cause a roll of the eyes, a "moron" comment, and then laugh at the other 99% of the jokes I send. This was just the reaction that a friend of mine predicted when he challenged me to send this. Another one commented that "I'm not just going to rock the boat, I'm going to be the iceberg that sank the titanic". For real - life is too short. If you can laugh at other you have to laugh at yourself. If you want off the list let me know - I can't customize the list to not offend certain people. Oddly - I was asked not to come back to NNU for many of the comments on this list - another example of tolerance.

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I have a buddy I grew up with (we've known each other since we were 10 from church). He doesn't go to church anymore, but lets his mother take his kids. Anyway, he has a mailing list and usually sends out right wing crap that pisses me off. When I respond he just laughs and says he just likes to get people's reactions.

 

Long story short, I challenged him to send out this top 10 to his mailing list. Surprisingly, he agreed. Here's some of the responses:<snip>

 

Vigile ... that's a hoot. :lmao::lmao::funny:

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Vigile, I am really glad that you challenged your friend to do that. I'm also pretty impressed that he had the bravery to send it on. It doesn't surprise me about some of the reactions that he got; it's expected. He's right in that we laugh at so many other jokes that's sent through email, but something like this raises peoples hackles.

 

 

 

... the tone of it is more likely to get peoples backs up and arguing irrelevent points ... than getting the message across.

I don't think it's supposed to "get a message across" - it's just funny! My favorite is #6.

 

My favorite was # 3. :HaHa:

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