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Was I a Christian?

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In all honestly, im not even sure if I can really qualify as an ex-christian.


Oh sure, I was born to christian parents. But in many ways, they were among the most liberal christians you'll ever meet; during church on sundays, we nevered stayed more than one hour. Infact, my dad would often say "Lets get the hell outta here before they bring some evangelist asshole and make us sit for ANOTHER hour."


They also cursed alot, especially my mother. She'd smack me when I cursed, and say something like "where the FUCK did you learn to talk like that?"


I found sunday school to be boring as hell, and I officially labeled sunday as the "most boring fucking day in the week". Although I did enjoy our Sunday ritual of eating chinese food after church. (not sure when that started, but damn that mongolian beef was some good stuff)


I bring up Sunday school because it during this one service where I first questioned god's athourity. (yeah!!!) The teacher had mentioned how all heathens go to hell, no matter how nice and kind they were. I found this to be somewhat COMPLETELY FUCKED UP, and pondered on the unfairness of it. But, being young, I eventually just accepted it and was thankful that I was born into the correct religion, least I'd be hell bound just like them damned heathen buddist.


That wasn't the last time I'd question the fairness of the good lord, but each time I would just sorta grudgingly accept it, despite never getting a satisfying answer.


Well, to get on with the story, Ive read many of the deconversion stories on this site, and I must say mine doesn't hold a candle to the amount of anguish and heartbreak of the tales Ive read from some of you guys; my "deconversion", if you could call it that, was rather uneventful.


I was never much of a Jesus lover; sure, i believed in his divinity, and acknowledged him as the worlds first hippie, but, in my prayers, his name was never uttered; I always sought god for my problems, not his son. And well, since Christianity mean accepting jesus as your saviour, kissing his ass, and wanting to make babies with him, and begin to think "well, gee....I guess im not a christian.


The the question is, what the hell was I?


Was I muslim? Nope, not dark enough skin tone. And I didn't like turbans much.


Jewish? Well, I do love money. But then again my nose is too small.


Buddist? Don't know kung-fu. Or throw Dragon Punches.


Voodoo? Tried it once; I stabbed the doll till it looked like wiffle ball, but that bastard Marcus still wasn't dead.


I eventually decided I was a Deist of sorts. But since I no longer believed in the bible, I really had nothing that could prove to me the exisitence of a god.


Ive noticed one serious error that people make regarding the exisitence of god....they falsely assume it is as simple as A or B; in otherwords, they think "either you believe in god or you don't. But that doesn't quite cut it.


If god exist, there are FAR too many possibilities regarding his existence to make any sort of solid beliefs.


Think about it. We generally assume if god exist, he's in the model of the judeo christian god-----loving, omnipotent, eternal, blah blah blah.


But that is just ONE possiblility; what are the others?



What if he was not omipotent? Surely he'd be far beyond us, but having the power to create life and a planet doesn't nesscesarily make one infinately powerful.


What if our creator was only one of many? What if he worked in a team?


What if he was green and named Mervin?


What if he was once a mortal being like us, who ascended to god-hood somehow?


What if a once a superhero from planet Xenos, who battled the evil Lord Gorzo the Devourer, and after a mighty battle, got sucked into another dimesion, where his powers grew beyond what they once where, and then he went to beat the living hell out of Gorzo, and thus was rewarded with a planet of his own by the Watchers of the Universe, and after a few years, got bored, made mankind, then took off to Juptiter because the high gravity was good for his allergies.


The point im trying to make is, I have no fucking clue what god is, or if he even exist for that matter...To assume I, or any other person, can know him or understand him is arrogant at best; Unless of course he shows up at my doorstep to personally inform me.


He hasn't done that yet, though, so I'm gonna go back to my evil, sinful lifestyle of watching History channel, wishing I got more premarital sexual encounters, and hanging around ex-christian forums.


Ok, I'll shut up now

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Guest Rhuiden

Just curious...what is the denomination of the church your family attended?



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Guest Gypsy

hi son of spong,


>>>What if he was green and named Mervin?<<<


lets just hope it isn't 'Marcus'...for your sake




i think lots of people call themselves 'christians' because they are following jesus teaching or what they think are jesus teachings. jesus did instruct us to pray to the father not to himself.


most of the 'christians' i know are not fundies, they don't pray to jesus, they don't like church, but they call themselves christians because they accept that there is a god and jesus, that we can pray and be heard, that the bible is basically good (mostly because they have never READ it....) and they are american. depending on where you live, it is very american to be 'christian'.


for me, the bad stuff that happened around religion just helped me make that break. i think i would have made it eventually anyway because i questioned stuff for a long time. i'm not very good at arguing persuasively or remembering any solid reasons when i have to discuss my views with people. my family and friends know that i had alot of bad experiences so they don't pay any attention to what i would try to argue. several times they just counter with ...'it's ok, god will make an exception for you and let you go to heaven anyway because you got hurt'. i hate that. and i tell them i don't want a god who will make an exception for me, how could i want anyone who would send anyone to hell? and of course they argue...'god doesn't send anyone to hell, we send ourselves to hell'. anyhow...anything i argue is dismissed mostly.


i think you might have a better voice because people can't say you are judging the infallible god based on fallable people, or something else on those lines.


i agree there are so many things inbetween the A and the B. i know a man who believes none of us are individuals except for in this space in time. 'god' is nothing but a big energy mass that sends off sparks that become us. i have also read about each planet having it's own god and goddess and somewhere really really far away is the head dog who bred all these gods and goddesses. and other stuff too. i figure whatever belief system people choose or make up, it is because that system makes the most sense out of their own experiences. i know a lady too who doesn't believe in god or the bible, but believes there is some huge loving energy thing we can tap into because during meditation she is able to access that stream. also there are some belief systems out there that don't have a 'him' at all. they see an overall spirit being as purely female with no male counterpart. yep, there are lots inbetween A and B.

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Hey sonofspong -

enjoyed your post - cracked me up. I'm new to this forum too. Christians would tell you that your problem was that you were never "born again", that the Holy Spirit obviously never entered into your heart to illuminate you to God's wonderful truths.


I can tell you that you just never were able to let go of your common sense long enough to swallow the bullshit. It's easy enough to love god with all your heart and with all your soul, but to love him with all your mind isn't so easy. I really think that most people, even Christians, know that the bible's concept of God is whacked out. Christians just have a way of burying their doubts, spouting the party line (reminds me of the USSR "comrade"), but they are not being honest.


You should feel lucky that your mind is strong enough not to fall for it. It's a long and torturous ride. Anyway, welcome.

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You are hilarious. Good luck on your pre-marital sexual encounters!



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