spidermonkey Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 I have this friend. He's not a fundie, but he's xtian. He appears to be on this shitty little quest to prove to me that not all xtians are like my old cult, and that there are good churches out there. He doesn't bring it up every time we talk, but it's starting to become an issue. We would get along a hell of a lot better if he didn't bring this shit up. Bitch, PLEASE. I am NOT interested in finding faith, or any sort of church. I've brought this up repeatedly. I don't want to hear about how nice and wonderful non-fundie churches are, because religion is a moot point for me. And I hate how people try to patronize me, saying that I'm just angry at my old church and I'm judging an entire faith based on one bad experience. Well, if you want to get technical, it was 5 years of continual bad experiences, not one isolated incident. I won't deny being annoyed with my ex-cult, but I'm more pissed at myself for buying into that crap, and at my father and his leech of a wife who pretend that my deconversion never really happened. More than anything I'm fighting like hell to move on and build a productive life that does NOT include any sky fairies. I'd also like to get rid of my hangups that my cult either created or aggravated. Having my nose rubbed in that shit every time I talk to certain people doesn't help my mindset. There has to be SOMETHING I can do or say to end this type of conversation for good. They will find Jimmy Hoffa, a flying pig, and a winning lottery ticket before I reconvert. Besides, I'm getting tired of constantly having to ward off criticism from xtians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JP1283 Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Hey Spider, Just blasphemy against the Holy Spirit in front of them. Think of the craziest, most horrible blasphemy you can think of. Then quote Matthew 12:31 ("whoever blasphemies against the Holy Spirit shall hath never forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin) and remind them that you will never be forgiven, so DROP IT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 Have you directly let him know about your feelings on this score? Let him know that it is best to drop it until you decide to bring it up again. Perferrably in no uncertain terms. Had to do that with a friend of mine who is a self-described Christo-pagan (an explanation of that would require a thread hijack, though), and we work together periodically. He learned very quickly that I do not react well to christian, particularly Catholic symbolism, and it led to clearing some of the air between us. Point is, after I clarified, he respected what I said. If this joker doesn't, then it perhaps clarifies his intentions? EDIT: for punctuation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted April 11, 2005 Author Share Posted April 11, 2005 Next time I talk to him, I'm going to have to take the same approach I took when I told my one friend that I didn't want to talk about abortion anymore. I said that I wasn't going to change my mind about the issue and that all debating...oops, talking about it did was annoy me. The same thing is true for xtianity. I'm not changing my mind, and the only thing bitching at me is going to do is make me think "Thanks for reminding me why I LEFT, jackass!" Except this situation is different, because I'm not the one bringing it up. He is. I'd be perfectly content to never have another debate about xtianity again. Especially from my "friends." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 And I hate how people try to patronize me, saying that I'm just angry at my old church and I'm judging an entire faith based on one bad experience. My stepmom is like that sometimes. She just doesn't understand that the main reason I don't believe anymore is because I am using logic. I think these people want an easy explanation, something they can use to hold up their own faith, so they can say, "Well the people at my church aren't like that, and I still believe." That way, they don't have to use "teh eV1L!!!!11!" logic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Spider, I can completely understand how you feel. When I left the whole ball of wax not long ago, some people were trying to get me to stay and kept giving me their version of logical ( but anyway)........ I'm a "straight to the point" kinda person, not HARSH, but just...honest. So, what I did was say this: Look, I value our friendship. I also respect you and that includes respecting the way that you choose to believe. However, in return, I'm going to need that same repsect from you in order for us to remain friends. If it's one sided, I'm going to grow to resent it....so we need to come to an understanding before we damage a good thing. That SHOULD do it...if not, I'd come right out and say something like....."I know your religion tells you to try to win souls. Are you on a quest here to do that or do you honestly just not understand respect?" If this person keeps it up, then clearly they are trying to convert you for selfish reasons (win souls, be the "one" to convert you....etc.) Wish you well with it....that has to be SO irritating. Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellbound Alleee Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 If I want to stop a convo fast, I tell them I am a Satanist. If that's too scary, I tell them how I admire the 9 truths of Satanism. That pretty much takes care of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sokudo Ningyou Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Tell them you didn't vote for Bush, because you're a treehugging, crazy batshit liberal, and you'd be better friends if you simply ignored your political differences. Seems to work with my bosses for the most part; they think I'm a complete idiot for not voting for Der Fuhrer, and I keep my mouth shut and walk away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MysticVoid Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 What's interesting to me about situations like this is that when you get accused of things like judging all Xians by one bad experience, you are automatically made into The Bad Intolerant Person. Which conveniently takes the bad juju off Xians, doesn't it? They can disown your own valid experience, and put the bad focus right back on you . And then you can be seen as "having problems". You were the person who was wounded and did nothing wrong, yet eventually you will be blamed for your attitude. I try to avoid them. I don't go around forcing my views on anybody or asking for Xian input. I don't have a sign around my neck that says "Christerize All Over Me , Please." And yet they keep coming. It's like being pursued by the zombies from Night of the Living Dead. I must have problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyby Stardancer Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I must be lucky... I don't have people bugging me... When those who do ask ask, I just tell 'em I'm not religious and they just shrug and move on... Hm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 It's like being pursued by the zombies from Night of the Living Dead.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Carrion Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Insofar as I'm concerned what you believe is pretty much like your sexual preferences; you do as you wish, and it's no one else's damn business. If someone brings up the subjectl, then they'd better be prepared to accept that they will become privy to perspectives and opinions that do not coincide with their own. If they cannot, then they do not respect you as a legitimate human being and merely regard you as a means of reinforcing the preconceptions by which they define themselves, and as such are not worth losing sleep over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 They can disown your own valid experience, and put the bad focus right back on you . And then you can be seen as "having problems". You were the person who was wounded and did nothing wrong, yet eventually you will be blamed for your attitude. yep!! SOOOOO true!! After all, if you can't believe, then there must be something wrong with YOU.... How farmiliar all that is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 Hey Spider, how about an update? Whatever happened? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted April 29, 2005 Author Share Posted April 29, 2005 Hey Spider, how about an update? Whatever happened? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Every time this particular person brings up religion, I tell him flat out that I don't want to talk about it. He better get the point soon! I'm sick of debating about this shit over and over again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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