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Goodbye Jesus

Do You Have A Personal Relationship With Jesus Christ?


brad_religion

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When a Christian asks you "Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?", point out the fallacy of that question. If something is PERSONAL, that would mean it is nobody else's business, right? Answering this question means you are not making it a "personal" relationship anymore. So, even if you DO have a "personal relationship" with Jesus Christ, to tell everyone about it totally cancels it out of being "personal".

 

This is just one more thing Christians completely forget to think about.

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I ususally just say "No I dont have a personal relationship with a fictional dead god-man."

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Yeah, it is rather annoying.

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"It's a relationship" is just a denial mechanism many modern Christians have because the word "religion" has begun to take on so many negative contexts.

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How about:

 

I used to but we decided to see other people. Jesus has lots of relationship issues that I couldn't deal with anymore.

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I say "Yes -- we have a mutual restraining order."

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How about:

 

I used to but we decided to see other people. Jesus has lots of relationship issues that I couldn't deal with anymore.

 

 

 

:lmao:

 

I'll have to remember this one!

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I rarely get asked that question. I think I'm a wee intimidating in my demeanor. :nono:

 

I'm quick to furrow my brow when anything remotely related to xtianity comes up. :Hmm:

 

Now a days, I might be inclined to reply, "No, I don't have a sky-parent. I grew up instead." :lmao:

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How does Jesus manage to sustain a personal realtionship with over a billion people? Can you imagine the noise he must hear?

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I like the quips on here, but I've discovered most Christians are immune to sarcasm. All they think is "Le gasp! A lost soul! I must save them at all costs!"

 

I agree with Brad, if it's personal, then I shouldn't talk about it, right? That's my usual response. "That's a personal question, isn't it? How about that local sports team?"

 

If they press I just say "Matthew 6:6"

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"Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?"

 

That would be like having a personal relationship with Daffy Duck.

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It's self-love. Simply self-love.

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How about:

 

I used to but we decided to see other people. Jesus has lots of relationship issues that I couldn't deal with anymore.

:lmao:

 

Taph - the first time I heard you use that line you were coming to my defense ... do you remember, Sub_Zero?

 

http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?s=&a...st&p=148338

 

(sub_zero) Let me ask you this Open_Minded... Do you think you have a relationship with Jesus?
Open Minded and Jesus have an understanding. She sees other people, unlike you do!

 

Taph

 

:funny::lmao:

 

I got a kick out of it then - in fact I told several people in my off-line life - and it's still funny when you say it now. Great response.

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When a Christian asks you "Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?", point out the fallacy of that question. ....
I tell them; Yes. I told Jesus to get lost and my life has been great ever since." If they come at you with that question they usually aren't worth the bother.
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How about:

 

I used to but we decided to see other people. Jesus has lots of relationship issues that I couldn't deal with anymore.

 

Heh - and so very accurate :)

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Does "Yea, Jesus cheated on me." Work? The fact that im a guy would add to it.

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When a Christian asks you "Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?", point out the fallacy of that question. If something is PERSONAL, that would mean it is nobody else's business, right? Answering this question means you are not making it a "personal" relationship anymore. So, even if you DO have a "personal relationship" with Jesus Christ, to tell everyone about it totally cancels it out of being "personal".

 

This is just one more thing Christians completely forget to think about.

 

Sure! JEEEEEEZUS walks with me, saves me, is my personal savior, is the light of the world, enlightens my mind ,and all those other cliches! I have a personal relationship with myself! How do you have a personal relationship with fiction?

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I ususally just say "No I dont have a personal relationship with a fictional dead god-man."

 

How about "Do you have one with Thor?" :wicked:

 

"It's a relationship" is just a denial mechanism many modern Christians have because the word "religion" has begun to take on so many negative contexts.

 

Exactly.

 

I like the quips on here, but I've discovered most Christians are immune to sarcasm. All they think

 

They think? You're kidding us right? :fdevil:

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Yes. I do.

 

 

 

He's a great kisser.

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They think? You're kidding us right? :fdevil:

 

Oh no, not at all! After many years of deliberation and scrutinous testing, scientists have recently classified "I must save your soul at all costs" as a legitimate (if inane) thought as opposed to stimulus/response in the average fundy. This still puts them slightly below insects, but it's progress.

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Jesus called me last night. He was drunk and lonely again. I hate it when he does that. He starts blubbering about how precious I am to him and to tell you the truth I really don't care for the guy. I'm sorry I ever met him. Whenever I see him at a party I try to stay away. I hope he's getting the message. If I get a Christmas card this year from him I'm gonna throw up.

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Yes I do have a relationship with Jesus - he tells me to go around hacking prostitutes to death with a machete. I've killed six of them so far and every time I do I get this music and colours in my head. :crazy:

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I left Jesus after I found out he had intimate relationships with over a billion other people. That really hacked me off. So I confronted him about it, and he couldn't give me an explanation accept that he loved everyone. So I kicked him to the curb.

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