godlessgrrl Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Gwenmead.... I'm impressed - numbers 181-200 and 203-233 .... you were on a major roll.... were we releasing a wee bit O' tension. Heh. Yeah, and there's more where that came from, sistah... I tend to think in lists. I'm sure I'll have more later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 245. You use religion to cover up your fear of life in general. Anything you are afraid to do you can usually get out of by claiming the Bible condemns whatever it happens to be, and thanks to the contradictory nature of the book, your probably can find one verse or other that "almost" applies...with a little "explanation" or "translation" on your part if necessary to make it fit. 246. Even life events the Bible mostly endorses that you fear, you can get out of thanks to some special action on your part. Afraid to date or marry and you are a woman? Get "married" to Jesus, or claim you are married to Jesus, and no one will notice you are just a coward afraid of living. 247. You lie about how much of the Bible you've read. Or you think alternate sources, like reading all of the highly edited Bible Stories given to children equals reading the "whole" Bible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 248. Your church could have written the book on How To Use Fear And Guilt To Manipulate People. 249. This has probably been covered, but it bears repeating: You think that there is nothing wrong with condemning millions and millions of people to a place where they will be tortured for all of eternity... think about that now, all of eternity, just because they happen to disagree with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JP Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 250. You believe liberalism is a sign of the "End Times." 251. You do not have Halloween parties, but rather "Harvest Parties." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 252. Or, instead of Halloween, you have Reformation Day parties and make your kids dress up as dorky Bible characters. (Happened to me, I was forced to wear a homemade bathrobe and say I was Dorcas. Thank you, mother. At least it wasn't in a public school where I no doubt would have been beaten up for it.) 253. You think that what is injust is actually just. 254. You don't realize that you are the narrow-minded bigot we are angry at. 255. You think there is nothing wrong with jealousy. 256. You think that children should be guilty for their parents' sins and hence tortured for all of eternity for them and abused in their lifetimes for them. 257. You are afraid to define what evil is because it actually defines your god. 258. You do not think that you cause your own actions. 259. You are unwilling to think in terms other than black or white. 260. You do not take the time to read about and understand your own religion. 261. You are arrogant, prejudiced, bigoted, and moronic. Need I say more? 262. You cannot comprehend what love actually is because you have never felt it. 263. You think that what is hate is love, and can't tell the difference between the two. 264. You cannot admit to yourself when you are wrong about something, especially something regarding religion. 265. You think that people who strive for things like peace are going to burn in hell forever. 266. You are afraid, very afraid. Yet you will never admit it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JP Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 267. You have compiled a list of world leaders and celebrities who could possibly qualify as the AntiChrist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 268. Bill and Hillary Clinton are on the AntiChrist list. In fact, it's made up mostly of Democrats. 269. You think that genocide is justified. 270. You think that circular logic isn't circular when it actually is circular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeiPassion Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 271. You buy your kids only Christian music. 272. Whenever you're faced with a complicated situation, you decide to "leave it in God's hands" instead of trying to figure things out on your own. 273. You think the people of New Orleans deserved Hurricane Katrina. 274. You're a member of the Jimmy Falwell and Pat Robertson fan club. 275. You're suspicious of the European Union. 276. You try to convert people to your religion that are from various Asian countries. Not only that, you have them change their names to something biblical robbing them of their cultural heritage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JP Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 277. "I'll pray for you" is a common phrase you utter to people you disagree with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafiki Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 278. Under your exchristian.net info it says "Group: Fundamentalist" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted November 14, 2006 Author Share Posted November 14, 2006 279. You actually believe same sex relationships are a danger to the "institution of marriage" and "family values". And yet you have no problem voting for people who have ignored the health care crisis in this country. A crisis that has left millions of family bankrupt over medical bills, many, many, people with disabled spouses or parents because of lack of proper health care and many others without spouses and parents because of early death (for lack of proper health care). You have no problem voting for people who refuse to raise the minimum wage or do anything of substance regarding our education needs in this country. And you don't get the connection between these political and social issues and the "institution of marriage" and "family values". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 280. You support the nation of Israel against the Palestinians because you wish to hasten the end of the world and bring Jesus back from heaven to kill everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 281. You refuse to accept a perfectly good definition of a word because it is not what you want to hear. 282. Making up definitions of words is the only way that you can debate, because deep down, you know you have no evidence for your claims of Christianity being true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted November 14, 2006 Author Share Posted November 14, 2006 283. You buy your clothing at: Modest Homeschooling Christian Clothing sewn http://www.modestapparelchristianclothingl...stomsewing.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotBlinded Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 284. When you can't comprehend that life doesn't have four corners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 285. You believe that the Titanic sank because some guy aboard said, "Not even God could sink it..." screw the huge glacier that ran into it. 286. You get your lights turned off because you chose to tithe instead of pay the bill... 287. You blame yourself for not paying the bill...Because god wouldn't have had your lights cut off if you had given a bigger offering... 288. You would rather your child be a serial killer than gay... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 289. Thanks to the christian influences in your life, you think the song "Every Breath You Take" by The Police is just a love song. When other people tell you it's about stalking and obsession, you think they are paranoid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 290. You condemn gays, but you continually wear polyester and denim blend, stuff your face at the church fish fry, and masturbate... 291. You only watch film and television with no sex and swearing...which pretty much means you permanently have the TIVO programmed for the PAX network and TBN 292. You forbid your children to watch Harry Potter movies. But you drag them to witness a three hour long snuff film, 'The Passion of The Christ.' 293. You have a permanantly fake smile plastered on your face...It is part of your God Warrior Armor. Your personality, inspite of being in the throws of manic depression, is so sickeningly fake and saccharine that anyone who comes near you goes into a diabetic coma. 294. You believe that, "If you name it you can claim it!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 295. You get into long debates with fellow female fundis about whether cutting your split ends off is viewed by God as a sin, the same as if you actually cut your hair!! 296. You wear a jeans skirt over your pants when you are playing sports, so you are not sinning by wearing pants like a man does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roknrolr Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 297. You promote icons of your religion by posting crosses everywhere you can, including your car, your house, and your person, but anyone wearing any other kind of symbol is wearing the sign of the devil, even if it is only the star of David or an Aknk. 298. You ask someone if they go to church, and if they say no, you ask them if they think they will go to heaven and inform them otherwise, if they do or are not sure. 299. You knock on the door of a perfect stranger in order to talk about your religion with them. 300. You think that standing very close to a perfect stranger and putting your hands on their shoulder or their head will make them see things your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted November 14, 2006 Author Share Posted November 14, 2006 301. You stand on the street corner handing out tracts and asking everyone who passes by if: They are saved - or if They have a personal relationship with Jesus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 302. When you ask someone else if they are a christian, and they say "yes" you just can't leave well enough alone at that point. You either keep questioning them to see just how "christian" (according to YOU) they are, or you witness to them as if they had said "no" despite their affirmative answer because you are just a wind-up toy parrot when it comes to witnessing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Broke Free Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 303. You think it is reasonable that everyone should be held hostage to God’s (your) version of morality. 304. You say “I love the sinner but hate the sin” but in reality you hate anyone who partakes in your secret desires without the guilt and shame you chose to bear. 305. You lie at church to make your home life seem more Christian and spiritual so that others will think better of you, and then you have the stupidity not realize that EVERYONE is doing the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprus Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 306. You think that Hal Lindsay and Tim LaHaye are brilliant writers. 307. You think that Jack Chick is a brilliant cartoonist. 308. You think that atheists became that way because they just wanted to lead lives of sin and immorality. 309. You think that atheists deny God so they can live as libertines and criminal sociopaths. 310. You want to ban the Harry Potter books, a series of childrens fictional stories involving witches and wizards, but you dedicate your whole life to the service of a fictional jewish sorcerer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 311. You think the Left Behind books were written as a service to the Christian community and doesn't have anything at all to do with all the pesky money that has been made from them. 312. You can make the pharse "I'll pray for you." mean anything from "Oh wow I am concerned about you", to "Oh yeah well fuck you." 313. You never say worried, but instead say you are concerned believeing this means you have more faith. 314. You will completely steam roll over another persons hurt, concern or personal tragedy if they use the word "worried" to remind them that Jesus said we are to worry for nothing, and be sure to let them know that worring is a sin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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