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Embarresing(sp?) Question


Dakota
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I have been making excuses to not post this but I finally have run out of them. I am no longer a Christian, I don't believe in the Christian god, jesus, or the bible. I have claimed in other posts to have had "experiences" that lead me to believe there is some sort of higher power or afterlife, but sadly this is a lie I made up to keep from sounding silly in holding on to a belief in a deity or afterlife. I have had no "supernatural" experiences, no ghosts, visions, etc etc etc., I am admitting now that I basically have held on to the belief that there is some sort of afterlife because the thought of there being nothing is very scary to me. This makes me sound childish and silly, I know. But the fear is real and I can't help that. I know it is completely stupid to hold on to these beliefs with no proof to back them up, so why is it so hard for me to accept that there is most likely no afterlife? I don't even give a shit if there's a god, but I'm terriefied at the thought of just slipping into oblivion forever and ever. I've heard the argument "Not existing before I was born never bothered me so why should it after death?" I have heard it a million times but this does not stop the fear of there being nothing after death.

 

Does anyone else have this fear? The fear is not quite as intense as it was years before (when i began doubting christianity) but it still lingers and grips me from time to time. Is this just an irrational fear that will fade with time or is it something we must just accept and deal with for all our lives?

 

Anyone with an opinion will be greatly appreciated, whether its a harsh "There is no afterlife, get over it!" or someone actually has a legitimate reason for belief in an afterlife.

 

You guys have no idea how silly it feels to have this fear, but i finally got the nerve to post it as i'm hidden behind a computer screen :lmao:

 

Have a great day everybody!

 

Dakota

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Your fear is healthy.

religion has been used to take advantage of that fear. But there is nothing silly about you. and you are a strong person for being open about it we all have fears and anxiety, but fucc it, there is nothing that we can do because we inevitably will die.

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.....Anyone with an opinion will be greatly appreciated, whether its a harsh "There is no afterlife, get over it!" or someone actually has a legitimate reason for belief in an afterlife.

 

You guys have no idea how silly it feels to have this fear, but i finally got the nerve to post it as i'm hidden behind a computer screen

You asked for it.....there ain't no afterlife. And I can understand how you and others would lie to protect your beliefs. Look around here, and in the real world. You'll see people lying about it. You know they're lying since what they're saying cannot be true. I've heard a thousand times; "I was once an atheist like you." And notice how they attack the person that threatens their tightly held beliefs. If you don't fall for their beliefs, or don't keep quiet about your disbelief they have to attack you since they have no logical basis for their beliefs. Their's is an emotional attachment, not a logical one.
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the thought of there being nothing is very scary to me.

 

Why? Since death alone is certain and the time of death uncertain, why worry about it?

 

How exraordinary that you are alive at all.

 

Rejoice in that thought, I AM ALIVE. I AM HERE. That is all that matters. You cannot really LIVE life and make it worthwhile for yourself and others, if all you can think about is the end of it.

 

I have been very very close to death, and it scares me not at all.

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Hi Dakota,

 

Don't worry - you're not alone with your fears of nothing after death. Not at all alone - far from it!

 

Here's my view. I haven't died permanently (i.e. I haven't died for good) so that's why I'm just open to whatever. If there's an afterlife, great, but if not, well so be it. Right now, I just can't see how there wouldn't be anything after it though. I'm hoping we find out what the deal was someday about this whole living on earth bit. I'd really like that. Do I have any basis for thinking this? No, it's just something I would like.

 

A lot of people just outwardly say, "No - there's no afterlife" and that's something I can understand them saying, because it's not like gawd has appeared to us physically to prove otherwise. If gawd's the big boss, you'd expect something to prove an afterlife without any doubt.

 

In the end, I am resigned to the fact that I don't know, and I just accept that. I just hope I'll get a nice surprise.

 

Cheers,

Amelia :)

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Keep in mind, Dakota, that nonexistence isn't painful. How can it be?

 

What's there to fear? You know Xianity is a load of garbage. You know that Hell is just a bad myth. You know you don't have to worry about that.

 

Funny you should post this; I just added an Atheism page to my site, and I went on about how an Atheist isn't forbidden necessarily from believing there may be an afterlife just because there is no belief in gods.

 

What I mean to say is, don't sweat it. Really. You don't know what lies beyond - no one does. You know an eternity of torture is just a man-made myth. Entertain your imagination - maybe you make your own afterlife, or maybe you dream for all eternity, unaware of the fact you're dead and dreaming.

 

In truth, anything could be possible - don't be afraid to think and dwell on the possibilities, since anything is better than the Abrahamic Hell - even nonexistence.

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I don't appreciate being lied to, yet at the same time I understand the fear driving the lie.

 

It's good that you're not lying about it anymore. You're right, that does indeed make you look childish - it suits you and other adults better to face the truth. Keep up the honesty from here on out.

 

I don't like the idea of dying either. It's not a fear of an afterlife anymore, more like I just don't want to wink out and be forgotten. It feels instinctive to me, so maybe that's just what it is: the instinctive drive to live.

 

But yeah, I'm scared of that too, scared of what happens after I die, what will my consciousness encounter... I keep forgetting the answer is most likely "nothing" and that oblivion will be a lot like how I was before I was born. No pain, no consciousness, nothing.

 

It can be hard to shake that.

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I don't think your fear is healthy. Nor do I think it is unhealthy. I think it's simply unneccessary. I can understand your thinking though because Christianity, as it presents itself, really is silly and childish.

 

I reckon a key to getting over this fear of what happens after you die is to stop worrying about it, and start focussing on how you can make your current life better. Rather than worry about what may or may not happen at some unknown point in some future, concentrate on thinking about all the things you can be doing to make your current life, here, now and real, the best, most fulfilling life that is possible for you to achieve. This is what I'm working on now, and dag-nab it it's working.

 

Then once it comes time to die, death won't matter, because you can rest assured that you've done the best you can to have the best possible life that you could create for yourself.

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I agree with narcissist. If we spend our lives in fear of death, we will lose the chance to live the only life we ever had. Concentrate on living the best life you can while you have it.

 

What you said reminds me of something by Epicurus:

 

Why should I fear death? If I am, death is not. If death is, I am not. Why should I fear that which cannot exist when I do?

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Been there, done that. My resolution to this has been:

 

1. The concept of no afterlife is much less unappealing that the belief that there is one in which most people will suffer eternally because they were brought up in the "wrong" culture or came to the "wrong" conclusion based on sketchy evidence.

 

2. Everyone dies - it's the one thing we all have in common. Something so universal must be fundamentally in harmony with nature, thus OK.

 

3. If you just cease to exist at the end of your life, you won't even know it, so it won't be unpleasant.

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I have been making excuses to not post this but I finally have run out of them. I am no longer a Christian, I don't believe in the Christian god, jesus, or the bible. I have claimed in other posts to have had "experiences" that lead me to believe there is some sort of higher power or afterlife, but sadly this is a lie I made up to keep from sounding silly in holding on to a belief in a deity or afterlife. I have had no "supernatural" experiences, no ghosts, visions, etc etc etc., I am admitting now that I basically have held on to the belief that there is some sort of afterlife because the thought of there being nothing is very scary to me. This makes me sound childish and silly, I know. But the fear is real and I can't help that. I know it is completely stupid to hold on to these beliefs with no proof to back them up, so why is it so hard for me to accept that there is most likely no afterlife? I don't even give a shit if there's a god, but I'm terriefied at the thought of just slipping into oblivion forever and ever. I've heard the argument "Not existing before I was born never bothered me so why should it after death?" I have heard it a million times but this does not stop the fear of there being nothing after death.

 

Does anyone else have this fear? The fear is not quite as intense as it was years before (when i began doubting christianity) but it still lingers and grips me from time to time. Is this just an irrational fear that will fade with time or is it something we must just accept and deal with for all our lives?

 

Anyone with an opinion will be greatly appreciated, whether its a harsh "There is no afterlife, get over it!" or someone actually has a legitimate reason for belief in an afterlife.

 

You guys have no idea how silly it feels to have this fear, but i finally got the nerve to post it as i'm hidden behind a computer screen :lmao:

 

Have a great day everybody!

 

Dakota

 

i'm not going to tell you there is no afterlife, as that would be as wrong as a christian telling you there is. there is no need to feel silly. it is human nature to fear death. it's what keeps a species going. unforunately, some people become preoccupied with it. as someone else said, the lack of god does not mean a lack of an afterlife. who really knows. if it happens it happens. if not, then death will be like the deepest sleep. nothin' wrong with that, eh?

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Just do what you want here with YOUR life and don't let others persuade you into their religious beliefs. It's a huge waste of time and it'll waste your life. There is no afterlife. It's just a scare tactic in order to convince you into their cults. Enjoy what you enjoy and do what you want to do while you can. Life doesn't last forever.

 

Knowing that there is not going to be an afterlife, I feel better and at peace actually. I don't even want to be remembered after I'm dead. Life was only an experience.

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I agree with everyone else....your fear is not silly.

 

I would like to believe that there is some kind of afterlife. But the truth is, deep down, I don't believe anything happens when you die. When you die, that's it. All over. At first it bothered me that I believed that, but I'm making peace with it.

 

I can't lie to myself anymore. I did that for 7 years in the fundie church. I'd rather be honest with myself and be a little nervous than lie and be miserable.

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.....Anyone with an opinion will be greatly appreciated, whether its a harsh "There is no afterlife, get over it!" or someone actually has a legitimate reason for belief in an afterlife.

 

You guys have no idea how silly it feels to have this fear, but i finally got the nerve to post it as i'm hidden behind a computer screen

You asked for it.....there ain't no afterlife.....
The rest of what I said made more sense when I wrote it than when I read it. :grin: I guess I was trying to say that your actions are understandable. You were deceiving yourself instead of purposely trying to deceive us.
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Thanks for all the replies. Sorry to anyone who is offended by me saying i had "experiences" when I really didn't. I wasn't trying to get anyone else to believe in an afterlife or god, I was mainly decieving myself. Deep down, I don't believe there is an afterlife, I would like there to be one, but I doubt there is. I notice as more time passes I become more comfortable with the idea and the fear diminishes. 18 years of fundie programming is hard to break down, and the lying to yourself is a hard thing to break also. Basically the church lied to me, and I in turn lied to myself when it came to actually having any personal experiences with the supernatural. But I'm moving on and doing better, and a major part of that has been the people on these forums, you are all great, thanks so much.

 

Dakota

 

Keep in mind, Dakota, that nonexistence isn't painful. How can it be?

 

What's there to fear? You know Xianity is a load of garbage. You know that Hell is just a bad myth. You know you don't have to worry about that.

 

Funny you should post this; I just added an Atheism page to my site, and I went on about how an Atheist isn't forbidden necessarily from believing there may be an afterlife just because there is no belief in gods.

 

What I mean to say is, don't sweat it. Really. You don't know what lies beyond - no one does. You know an eternity of torture is just a man-made myth. Entertain your imagination - maybe you make your own afterlife, or maybe you dream for all eternity, unaware of the fact you're dead and dreaming.

 

In truth, anything could be possible - don't be afraid to think and dwell on the possibilities, since anything is better than the Abrahamic Hell - even nonexistence.

 

I totally agree, non existence would be a welcome alternative to the Christian hell, to me the concept of hell defeats the whole religion. How can anyone in "heaven" be even remotely happy knowing a loved one is suffering greatly for all eternity in hell? Makes no sense. :scratch:

 

.....Anyone with an opinion will be greatly appreciated, whether its a harsh "There is no afterlife, get over it!" or someone actually has a legitimate reason for belief in an afterlife.

 

You guys have no idea how silly it feels to have this fear, but i finally got the nerve to post it as i'm hidden behind a computer screen

You asked for it.....there ain't no afterlife.....
The rest of what I said made more sense when I wrote it than when I read it. :grin: I guess I was trying to say that your actions are understandable. You were deceiving yourself instead of purposely trying to deceive us.

 

 

Dave,

 

I read on some other posts where people called you an asshole, I disagree, your assertive and straight forward, I appreciate it.

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Dave,

 

I read on some other posts where people called you an asshole, I disagree, your assertive and straight forward, I appreciate it.

Thanks. It's that assertiveness they don't like. :grin: Calling me names reflects more on them than it does on me.
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Dakota,

To me, it takes a lot of guts to be able to honestly admit something to yourself, which is what you have done.

 

Any of us "previous" christians have lied to ourselves, sometimes for years or our whole lives.

 

I remember feeling scared too, but then the more I thought about it, I was relieved.

No HELL or Heaven....Heaven sounded great on some parts, but honestly, worshiping and singing glory to god for eternity??? :Doh::scratch:

 

The fear subsided and so did the PRESSURE. Boy, was that wonderful.

 

I have a feeling when you get over this fear, you will be jumping for joy :woohoo:

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Thanks for all the replies. Sorry to anyone who is offended by me saying i had "experiences" when I really didn't.

 

Hey Dakota. Don't worry about this, kiddo.

 

We've all been there. We've all gone through the gut-wrenching experience of losing our faith and feeling lost. We've all claimed that we have experienced God, when we knew deep down that it wasn't true.

 

That's one of the main reasons for this site. We can relate to everything you're saying.

 

Welcome to honesty. We're glad you're here.

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I remember feeling scared too, but then the more I thought about it, I was relieved.

No HELL or Heaven....Heaven sounded great on some parts, but honestly, worshiping and singing glory to god for eternity??? :Doh::scratch:

 

 

In total agreement. I actually tried to imagine that, for the sheer fact that I can't sing worth a goddamn...And having to do it for all eternity?

 

And how long would it be before that got boring?

 

 

Case In Point...

 

*Soul idling around in a white robe with a crown on his or head. Soul goes and stands beside a huge glowing throne with big brass feet in sandles...*

 

"Uhm...God? You're really Awesome---"

 

"Silence! You've said that everyday for the last two centuries! You're here, happy now? Shit..."

 

*God goes back to sulking about how he screwed up his entire creation after contradicting himself numerous times...While secretly envying Satan for having all of the cool people in hell.*

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"Uhm...God? You're really Awesome---"

 

"Silence! You've said that everyday for the last two centuries! You're here, happy now? Shit..."

 

*God goes back to sulking about how he screwed up his entire creation after contradicting himself numerous times...While secretly envying Satan for having all of the cool people in hell.*

 

 

:lmao::lmao: Too funny!!

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Don't feel silly.

 

Fears aren't the result of conscious thought - they come from below that, and therefore aren't directly under our control. For years (presumably...) you were told that there was an afterlife and the consequences of not believing, and you were likely told this when you were young and therefore not able to evaluate the claim rationally.

 

Over time, it will fade. For me, it helps not to dwell on it. Yes, certain things scare me, but that's just part of being human.

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Fears aren't the result of conscious thought - they come from below that, and therefore aren't directly under our control.

 

RUBBISH!

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Hello Dakota:

 

I don't remember ever being afraid of death. I don't remember ever being troubled about my certainty that there is no afterlife.

 

I can't take credit for this; there is no trick to it - it's not something I DID. I just have always looked at things the way they are. Regarding the topic of these specific fears of yours, I can tell you some things, but then it's totally up to you to accept them and go on with your life.

 

Here's the first one. Everyone and every thing dies. It's just a fact. That's what we do...we are born, we live our lives (however long or short), and we die. It is certain. To fear this is to be a little bit out of balance, and religion exploits this unbalance and makes it worse. Religion feeds on fear and the natural desires of humans, who are herd animals, to conform.

 

Everyone dies. It's just a fact. It is illogical to think that some part of us continues in a so-called "afterlife." This is merely the fearful hope of people whose ego has terrified them. These things ARE. Now go on living and be happy...that's the meaning of Life.

 

You have already taken the first steps in overcoming these fears. The most important first step is shucking religion. It is the most wonderful thing you can do for yourself. As your life advances, you will feel as if a mighty weight has been taken off you. The really hard part is dealing with the huge majority who will continue to claim that there is a god and that jesus represents salvation and that you are a weird pervert atheistic communist faggot whoremongering child molesting murdering thieving snot eating bastard for not believing it anymore.

 

On this board there are some who are ex-christians but not atheists, as I am. I reject all religions, but I don't want to insult those here who have some other belief system in place. Although I actively attack the Abrahamic religions I leave the rest alone, as they do little harm, in my not-too-well-informed-about-other-religions opinion.

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