sarahgrace Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Hello everyone. I've done a bit of browsing on this forum in the last few days and decided I'd like to join up and interact here. I'm not sure if this is the right forum in which to introduce myself, but here I am. My name is Sarah. I suppose in the last couple of years I've been gradually 'losing my religion,' as it were, but it's only in the last couple of weeks that I've formally made the realization that I'm not a Christian anymore. I guess I knew it was coming but it's still been pretty difficult for me to make this transition. I live and work with Christians and so I've been feeling rather secretive because I don't really know how to honestly interact with these people in my life anymore. I stumbled upon this forum while googling around looking for some insights on how to deal with this new phase of life. I just realized that I sound really pretentious right now. i'm sorry... I'm just a little socially awkward around new groups of people, online or otherwise. Please bear with me, i'm pretty cool when you get to know me. Anyway, so i'm really looking forward to getting to know some of you and having some insights on this stage of my life. I guess I'm just looking for a bit of support. Well, that's it. Here I am, nice to meet you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megara Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Hey, welcome to the forums! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Welcome Sarah. Your introduction made me grin. You should find plenty of people here that have shared your experiences and have plenty of decent advice and encouragement for you. It seems to me that you may be surrounded still by believers. When I'm not online that is often the case for me as well. I've learned to adapt to it so it no longer irks me. Perhaps in time it won't be much of a problem for you either. If you get a chance, I'd like to hear why you have been "losing your religion." It seems to be unique for each person. Again welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Hi and welcome, Sara. It sounds to me like you should be here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Ditto to what Cheffy said. If you need support through your deconversion process, you've come to the right place. Welcome to ExC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 I guess I knew it was coming but it's still been pretty difficult for me to make this transition. Hi Sarah. That is the toughest phase. The transition - when you're not sure what's next. When you're not positive that you're doing the right thing. When it's hard to move forward but impossible to go back. Welcome to ex-C. We've all been where you are, and we're glad you're here. You're among friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riverbank Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Hey Sarah, This is a great forum which I owe a lot to. I'm sure you'll get to like it here. Best wishes to you during this phase of your life, things will turn out good for you i'm sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior_of_god Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Howdy Sarah and welcome. Your in the right place to help you with this process, it can be painful, but hand in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Welcome, Sarah! You are indeed among friends, and you have come to the right place to find support as you work through the deconversion process. You are welcome to visit my site as well if you wish. You can find a lot of information there (as well as here) that will no doubt be helpful to you. I wish you all the best! Feel free to PM me if you want to. I'll be glad to help you out any way I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curtdude Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Kick back and relax, sarah! Welcome. Lots to read through, lots of different perspectives on apostacy. Like we said in the 70s, "it's mind blowing." The process of freedom takes time. You're among like-minded folks. Sometimes discussions get a bit testy, but we all have a lot to say about surviving christianity and what the experience has done to us. What we have done to ourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahgrace Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 Wow, thanks so much for the warm welcome, everyone! This feels like a pretty good place to be. Legion, I'm not sure the exact point at which I started wandering away from the faith... I suppose it probably got started during my year-long stint as a missionary in Europe (which was an AMAZING experience, don't get me wrong, but my position had nothing to do with that! ). I just started feeling like I was fooling myself and everyone around me; I didn't really believe what i was telling people. I started questioning myself a lot. A while later, after I returned to Canada, one of my best friends was killed in a car accident. It was one of those especially meaningless ones, you know? where you can't blame someone like a drunk driver or an irresponsible driver... everyone was driving just fine, it was just really bad weather and the car randomly slid sideways into the path of an oncoming truck. She was one of the best, most vibrant, wonderful people I've ever known and to this day I'm angry that she was killed. So that sort of sped my drifting along. But it's a really long and complicated story that I don't have time to type out at the minute. I will, though. There's a lot more to it than that. I think I still believe that there is a god on some level, but I don't believe that it's an interventionist deity, or one that even cares about what happens down here. I guess deism with an agnostic bent is where I'm at right now. Or maybe just thoroughly confused. I'm sure I'll learn more as days go by. The trouble is telling my roommates... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Thank you for the beginning of your story Sarah. I look forward to hearing the rest of it whenever you get around to it. Or maybe just thoroughly confused. I'm sure I'll learn more as days go by. The trouble is telling my roommates... It seems to me that the best advice that I've heard here for those that are newly deconverted or in the process of doing so is to give yourself some time. So I think that your certainty that you'll learn more as the days go by is probably well placed. As for telling your roomates, I am somewhat curious of those who feel compelled to tell those around them that they no longer believe as they once did. I feel no such compulsion. If I were asked directly I would tell them, but otherwise I feel that my beliefs are, by and large, a private matter. I can't help but wonder why you feel it necessary to tell your roomates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahgrace Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 As for telling your roomates, I am somewhat curious of those who feel compelled to tell those around them that they no longer believe as they once did. I feel no such compulsion. If I were asked directly I would tell them, but otherwise I feel that my beliefs are, by and large, a private matter. I can't help but wonder why you feel it necessary to tell your roomates. I think it's mostly because they're some of my closest friends and they all *think* I still believe. They talk to me like a believer.... i just feel like i'm lying to them and i feel pretty bad about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 I think it's mostly because they're some of my closest friends and they all *think* I still believe. They talk to me like a believer.... i just feel like i'm lying to them and i feel pretty bad about that. That strikes me as honorable. I hope that it goes well whenever you decide to do it. I've heard of it going down in a number of different ways. Maybe you'll share with us what their responses are like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 First off, welcome. I think it's mostly because they're some of my closest friends and they all *think* I still believe. They talk to me like a believer.... i just feel like i'm lying to them and i feel pretty bad about that. Second, so what do you think will happen if you come out to them and are you ready for it? You haven't given any indication of your age or how long you were xian but I'm guessing you're on the young side (at least compared to me...not that I'm ancient or anything ). Are you prepared to be pressured back into the religion? Are you prepared to be isolated? I'm not saying either of these things will happen but if they do (or any number of other things) are you ready for them? Perhaps you should consider waiting until you've worked through things a little more before you complicate things by bringing others into it? Anyhow, I'm not trying to tell you what to do but I'm just tossing out some stuff to think about. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Welcome to the fun and congratz on breaking the chains of christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgia Lass Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Hello everyone. I've done a bit of browsing on this forum in the last few days and decided I'd like to join up and interact here. I'm not sure if this is the right forum in which to introduce myself, but here I am. My name is Sarah. I suppose in the last couple of years I've been gradually 'losing my religion,' as it were, but it's only in the last couple of weeks that I've formally made the realization that I'm not a Christian anymore. I guess I knew it was coming but it's still been pretty difficult for me to make this transition. I live and work with Christians and so I've been feeling rather secretive because I don't really know how to honestly interact with these people in my life anymore. I stumbled upon this forum while googling around looking for some insights on how to deal with this new phase of life. I just realized that I sound really pretentious right now. i'm sorry... I'm just a little socially awkward around new groups of people, online or otherwise. Please bear with me, i'm pretty cool when you get to know me. Anyway, so i'm really looking forward to getting to know some of you and having some insights on this stage of my life. I guess I'm just looking for a bit of support. Well, that's it. Here I am, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, and welcome to Ex-Christian.Net! I'm sure you'll feel right at home here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Welcome, Sarah, and I'm glad you've found this site. I know what you mean about your friends thinking you still believe all that they believe. It took me a while to come out, too. Many of my christian friendships died out but not all, and other great friendships began, which were not based on the common ideology of religion but just on liking each other, common interests and sensibilities, and going from there. happy t-day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprus Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 A warm welcome to you, Sarah. Glad you've joined in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Hi Sarah! I'm sure you'll come to really love this site. There are a lot of warm, wonderful and intelligent people here. It helps so much to be able to share with others when you are going through a process like you are. Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Well, that's it. Here I am, nice to meet you. A hearty welcome from goo' ol' Germany Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Everglaze Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 Hi Sarah, welcome to the boards and enjoy your stay. You can learn a lot here =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D Laurier Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 Hullo Sarah, Welcome to the circle, have a coffee or a beer, and enjoy, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahgrace Posted November 24, 2006 Author Share Posted November 24, 2006 thank you again for the warm greetings. mwc, you're right, I am on the young side - i turn 24 next week. I was xian for about 10 years - raised atheist, converted in my teens, and am now 'backsliding' like the wind. whatever that means. my father will be proud, probably. you raise a good point about taking time... i'm probably not ready for those sorts of pressures. i realize that i'm in a really vulnerable state right now and maybe it's not the right time to be waving my flag just yet. Does anyone have any advice on how to maintain my sanity amid the pretense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 Does anyone have any advice on how to maintain my sanity amid the pretense? I've come to view Christianity as performance art writ large. Often I just try and enjoy the show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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